| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:22:33 PM | When I check out a person on their bio there are a few things that I look for, the obvious a picture, and if that catches my interest I will see his height as I am 6' in heels and then his interests - is there anything in common. Then I want to see what they do for a living. I don't care how much money that they make, do you think we are all gold diggers - damn it, it cost ME $thousands and thousands to get out of my marriage.
I would like to see if there is a common "thread" in what you do, something that I can converse with them during an introduction. ie: How is the real estate market going in Markham? or WOW, you are a Police Officer - how do you handle the stress of working in Toronto.....you get my point. It gives us ladies a launching point and everytime I see (blank), I am insulted thinking that YOU must think that I am just trying to check out the size of your wallet... | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:34:22 PM | Some men are embarrassed by their profession. And since they know they can't lie about it (because they will get found out), they can put off the disclosure of their true profession for after the women they meet is already invested in them.
I agree with you, a profession is just another thing to talk to them about.
But, like most things related to profiles, some people just don't seem to put in the effort. So perhaps you should save yourself some effort and move on. | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:37:59 PM | lol some guys may worry that their job title may not sound too appealing to some. Others maybe have really good jobs and don't want to influence anyone's mind with the thought of money.
What I don't get is why you seem to be so stumped by it? You say you use the careers that other men have listed as a bit of a conversation starter... who says you can't still do that when they don't list their job? Use the lack of info as a conversation starter, say something like "well you seem really interesting but since you didn't mention your career I was wondering if you were a professional serial killer or circus performer?". make up your own but I'm sure you get the idea.... | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:38:07 PM | Sparkles I have wondered the same thing myself.
A person spends at least half of their waking time at work. I ask people what they do, because that is a good point to see if we have things in common. If they are a professional wine taster (ya I know it has some fancy name) I need to know, cause not being much of a drinker, and allergic to wine, I may not be their pick for a partner.
I too have no interest in the size of a persons wallet, however if I do get asked to go out with the person, and they are paying I may want to know the limit...
The ideals of dating these days seem to be so complicated, and it is funny men complain that women are funny about such simple fundamental things... | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:40:31 PM | You're right it is a good conversation point, however wouldn't interests also be good if not better? In some cases it might be men don't feel their job represents them and so to specify it might actually encourage a misrepresentation of who they are. I don't think you need to take it as an insult though, since I would guess it is not intended to be an insult.
For me, although I am trying internet dating, I certainly don't totally agree with how it pans out. I think "selling" oneself on a site is not really the best way to go as far as the various ways to decide if I want to meet people. Success on here does have a lot to do with how you advertise yourself and some users might be intentionally toning that down by leaving some significant gaps of information about who they are, thereby encourging others to choose them less on a check list style approach. | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:41:59 PM | Some guys do not want to converse about work. They are there all week and don't want to be identified by what they do for a living and they are on this site seeking more of an emotional connection and to express themselves as more than what they do for a job.
You said it yourself "wow, you are a police officer," you are (in my interpretation) expressing that you have certain connotations about a person in a certain line of work without any idea of who they are. And that is what some people are trying to avoid when not putting in what they do for a living. Would you talk to a guy that worked at McDonald's? What about a mortician? If yes, how do you think other women would answer? Is there the possibility some women may have their own negative connotations about certain jobs and some men realize this, therefore leave it blank so as not to be casually dismissed?
It does give ladies a launching point for further communication but I think a lot of guys would appreciate you using their interests as a launching point for conversation rather than what they have to do to put food on the table. Interests are more representative of who they are as a person than their job.
Also, people are forced to change jobs all the time. He may simply be working for his current employer to make money yet has higher aspirations. Or their job may be so amazing it can not be accurately portrayed in such a small section.
It could be they just didn't think that portion of the profile was relevant to anything.
Leaving it blank should not be insulting to you, as they probably have no idea who you are, nor are they filling out their profile specifically with you in mind. In general, I believe, most men fill out their profile according to how they want women in general to perceive them, or at least their ideal match. | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:44:25 PM | This is in your profile:
Management - in Newmarket
That could mean anything.
Many people are not specific about their professions because they don't want to be prejudged about it. Read the threads on occupations. I have driven long haul. Some women think that long haulers are not loyal to 1 woman which is nonsense. | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:47:30 PM | | you are so right - you seem to get it. As we all mostly have careers, men especially, seem to define themselves by what they do. If men are introducing themselves to each other at a social function and have to make small talk the first thing they ask each other is "so what line of work are you into"...so that they can find a ground for conversation.. | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:50:38 PM | There are a few reason most men don't want to reveal what their job is.
-It's not a source of pride.
-It's by no means a profession.
-They don't make alot of money by it, and it would be obvious.
-It takes up too much of their time and are afraid the woman would make a judgement call about it if they have half a brain to know what the job entails.
There are undoubtably more, but that's the basics. | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:01:32 PM |
men especially, seem to define themselves by what they do
nah... but then I don't have a "career", I have a J O B ..... I don't mind talking about it because some parts are interesting to somebody that hasn't been doing it for 21+ years... but it's just sh*t I have to put up with for income and bennies...
Some might be vague because they want to make sure you're not a stalker or a serial killer! | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:06:17 PM | I have enough information in my "Profession" field to give readers a clue, but not enough to enable bad things to result from giving out too much information.
I like to know what a man does for a living also, and not because I'm interested in his wallet. The field someone chooses tells a lot about them and as the OP stated, provides a good ice breaker. | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:26:04 PM | I noticed when filling out my profile questions such as if I have a car as well as what is my current income level. I am wondering why it does not then show up on the profile that people see? It is also not part of the advanced search criteria.
I would have thought income level would be a greater indicator if someone was after money, but it doesn't show up on profiles. | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:28:49 PM |
There are a few reason most men don't want to reveal what their job is.
-It's not a source of pride.
-It's by no means a profession.
-They don't make alot of money by it, and it would be obvious.
-It takes up too much of their time and are afraid the woman would make a judgement call about it if they have half a brain to know what the job entails.
-they don't have one | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:35:08 PM | | My job isn't appealing, and is just a job that I do to make money to pay my bills. For anyone who really wants to know what I do, they can ask. I work in a factory that produces and assembles children's plastic playground equipment and livestock waterbowls, sold world wide. Currently, I foam/insulate waterbowls, but that could change any day. So, if anyone reads this forum post, now they know. I'm not ashamed of what I do, but I don't dwell on it, if I work a 37hr work week, it's because I missed hours the week before, I much rather spend my time doing other things when I can afford it. And that is why I don't write down that I'm a factory labourer in my "Profession" section of my profile. | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:02:40 PM | I still don't grasp the problem you're having. If you want to know more, given that you are interested, SEND A POF MAIL. [still searching for the headbang emoticon]
So, some women want to know what a man does, and other women don't care what he does because they have the brains and wisdom to know that MANY men are in jobs merely to hold even in this ever-increasingly-expensive lifestyle we have become trapped in. Others with an abundance of courage and inspiration pursue what they love--although in many, many cases, they struggle to find enough money to buy food. | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:05:15 PM |
but not enough to enable bad things to result from giving out too much information.
LOL, don't let the little guy scare you Ally.....
I was just makin another funny...
I work in a factory that produces and assembles children's plastic playground equipment and livestock waterbowls, sold world wide.
You talkin the heavy playground equipment? I've always wondered... you guys use vacuum or injection molding? And do you start the process with resin pellets and extrude them?.... I'm serious....
I worked with both types of molding at my previous job (poly/isocyanide medium) and we extrude plastic resin pellets in a blown film process to make shrink wrap materials where I work now.
So... every time I see something molded from plastic... I'm curious how those two processes are combined... really.... I aint f*ckin with ya... | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:15:52 PM | I once put my actual profession down on another dating site. Well guess what, it was TMI because one of the ladies in my area was able to figure out where to find my phone number and called me out of the blue instead of emailing me first. Kinda freaked me out alittle...............................so I'm no longer specific about what I do If you wanna know what I do, ask...........pretty simple really.......... | |
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:28:42 PM |
My job isn't appealing, and is just a job that I do to make money to pay my bills.....I work in a factory that produces and assembles children's plastic playground equipment and livestock waterbowls, sold world wide. Currently, I foam/insulate waterbowls, but that could change any day. I'm not ashamed of what I do, but I don't dwell on it...
Maybe your job isn't appealing to you, but how do you know it won't be appealing or interesting to someone else (i.e. Mr. Von Erik)? Nobody is implying you should dwell on it, but your job is part of who you are ~ even if it's just an income to pay the bills. Glad to hear you're not ashamed of what you do, because an honest job earning honest money is never anything to be ashamed of.
don't let the little guy scare you Ally.....
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| why won't men say what thy do for a living - don't want their$$$$
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:29:03 PM | Really, I don't think it makes a huge difference as far as attracting women if you have a good job. But I think it can be a detractor if you don't have the greatest job, putting "fast food worker" or "gas pump attendant" probably won't get many replies.
So if the guy has a decent job and it doesn't actually help him get more views or responses, then why bother putting what you do, and then worrying if the women is only responding to you based on your money. | |
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