| Profile Review please?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:56:47 AM | Hiya I am a few months new to this site and this forum and I have had a few looks but very minimal responses so I was hoping if any ladies would like to review my profile please?
I can do with the criticism and it would mean alot! please? lol
cheers | |
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| Profile Review please?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:08:23 AM | Whoa... Negative much?
You need better pictures, your main should be a close up of you smiling. And in focus in a will lit area.
List more in the interest section, you have tons of them in the about me section, they don't go there. Make sure when you add to them you separate each with a comma so they will show up in searches.
Delete the whole about me section. Dude, how needy are you? Just take a time~out and think of the positive things in your life. Write 2 or 3 decent paragraphs that describe who you are as a man. Your character and personality strengths. Then write a short paragraph defining the type of woman you're searching for, her qualities and attributes.
Cut out the rambling and be decisive. No need to ask for someone to contact you, we all know how it works. If a woman wants to initiate contact she will do it all on her own, no need to sound pushy about it.
Good luck | |
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| Profile Review please?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:49:24 AM | hi thanks alot for your advice and I am hoping that the changes I have made are better honestly, I know I look it but I am not really a moany negative person lol
anyways cheers again and if you wanna look and see if its any better then by all means please do and thank you again  | |
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| Profile Review please?
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:37:37 AM | Dear Patrick,
Please remove the smilies. Every single one of them. Otherwise, I will be forced to relive my wild colonial past on you and we do not want that now do we?
Then, remove all the lols. Remove the first sentence as it makes no sense without a smilie. Remove all the 'ya's, the 'well's and the 'right's. Insert the ocassional period, just randomly start putting them in if you need to. Anything is an improvement over the massive run on sentence you have as a profile.
Once you have some semblance of order to the profile, remove the 75 mile restriction in your mail settings. PoF does *not* calculate distances correctly, you are better off without it. It will not protect you from me going wildly colonial on you anyhow.
Cordially,
Uncle Crazy | |
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| Profile Review please?
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:08:15 AM | Listen Dude. Please don't take this the wrong way. Not trying to be a smart a$$ or anything. From what i could read of your profile, Sorry but everything was kind of run together with no stopping place. Let me put this simple. You say you are at a University. You have to be a smart person to to be there don't you? Show it! When you say that you are at a University the first thing a potential interest is gonna do is think that you must be a smart person. The second thing she will think when she tries to read your profile is how in the world did this guy get to a University and write like this. Please, re-write your profile and get rid of all the lol's and the smiley's. Put a few periods in there. Sorry, but i couldn't even read the whole thing. Redo it and come back and we will help you tweak it. By the way. I do use smiley' s to. But i try not to over use them. 
P.S. As far as your pictures go, Until you can get one with a smile on your face use the one that looks like there are saw blades on the wall behind you. It's more clear. At least they can see you face. Move it to your main picture. | |
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| Profile Review please?
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:08:51 AM | wow! thanks alot for your insite Uncle Crazy!
again I have made the changes and I hope that it looks better.
thanks again | |
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| Profile Review please?
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:19:56 AM | Looking better. Still needs a bit of tidying up- check your capitals and punctuation, there needs to be a bit more of both added. In terms of general content though, you cover most of the bases and it is certainly readable now.
Now that I do not want to gouge my eyes out reading it, I will pick this one section:
>>>>>>>>>
What do I look for in a girl? she would have to have a good sense of humour, isnt afraid to stay in once and a while, has to like music, I dont mind what music she likes but if she does like music then that would be very nice and looks arent really important to me honestly so I actually cant think of anything else
<<<<<<<<
Not impressed. Everyone had a sense of humour and likes music. You need to paint a picture that is broad enough to encompass a reasonable selection of people, but narrow enough that the people you want can see themself in it. Be a little less generic and do not finish it with 'can't think of anything else'. Take another couple of sentence to actually describe some characteristics, even if they are quite broad.
You have some potential, work with it and you could do alright. | |
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| Profile Review please?
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:43:27 AM | alright thanks again for all your help! I have tried changing the what I want in a girl bit and a little note on my pics, I do have pics up of me smiling! just hard to see that I am smiling I guess
Thanks again | |
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| Profile Review please?
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:15:25 PM | Hello Patrick. That's much better. There is only one thing i would take out of your profile,
have little drinking sessions Some women might be put off by this statement. This is something that a woman doesn't need to know right now. I think i would ease this in later after you have met someone and see how they take it. Some might not care some might. Leave it out for now. | |
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