| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:42:46 PM | [[ Just to point out that I am not writing this to flaunt myself as a fashionable person. I'm really not. Just a question about something that peaked my interest]]
Last month a mutual friend got a very fashionable haircut that is rather extreme but (I think at least) really suits her, it's pushed her from being attractive to being a complete stunner. She's also lost some weight and as a consequence has began to dress the way she's always wanted to, very trendy clothes and make up etc that make her stand out rather than her old things that helped her hide. The thing is, even with her new found confidence (although I must stress she's not "up herself") and new look that all the women in our lives think is amazing she's finding it harder to meet guys.
She used to get approached regularly and now almost not at all. It seems that now that she's ready to stand out she really has disapeared.
She was having a bit of a moan about it today and our friend, a guy, told us something that really stood out to me. Without quoting word for word (my memories not THAT good) I'll give the general gist:
He said that girls and guys have different opinions on what is attractive. He said that while us girls thought her pixie crop and extreme eye makeup made her look vogue and exciting to guys it's just not natural or approachable enough. He said that while men wouldn't be opposed to dating super models they'd rather have them on an 'off' day than in their catwalk get up. While that is attractive he says that he prefers girls to look like that in magazines and fantasies rather than in real life. Yes they're striking but when a girls too fashionable it's off putting.
I countered with the old 'yes but it's whats on the inside that matters and anyway she looks fabulous' and he just shrugged and said "Well you asked why I thought she wasn't getting approached and that's why".
So men, is being too fashion forward off putting? Do you prefer a lady in jeans and a t-shirt?? Sorry if you're bored by the clothing talk  | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:51:48 PM | It is a fine line.
On one hand there is fashionable and being able to fit into various settings. On the other hand, it can easily turn into an obsession with buying new clothes.
I am sorry I can't explain better. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:53:00 PM | huh... tell them to have a pint of courage and grow a nut.
Only reason I would't appraoch a woman who looked FANTASTICAL is because I thought she might be too high maintenence... as in... gold digger. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:57:36 PM | | I'm not attracted to girls with really short hair, or girls who get super dressed up to go to the grocery store or something equally mundane (seems high maintenance). That could be part of it - now if she's at a bar and dressed fashionably, then I'd definitely go for it if she looks as good as you're describing (despite, not because of, the hair cut) | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:09:34 PM | | It depends on your lifestyle. If you participate in activities which require you to look fashionable and trendy, guys who also have a similar lifestyle would appreciate it. If she's not getting approached, then either she or the guys are out of their element. The point is to dress appropriate for the occasion and your audience. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:09:34 PM | | I'd date a supermodel any day. As long as she has her own career and income. Not to stereotype but the majority of the most attractive women I've dated tend to be more faithful. And if they are not tend to be up front about it. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:11:16 PM | People like that can be seen and assumed they are already taken or the fact that some people may have experience with those people being snobbish or stuck up. Those two things alone can deter quite a few people away. Then throw in the people that don't worry about that, they could easily think 'she won't like me, there's no way' or something and be intimidated by someone that just looks like that. Plus there is what your friend said about it.
But maybe if she's not being approached she could... uh... I don't know... approach guys herself?
I know that I'm put off a bit by anyone who's trendy. The fact that I don't find it typical for people to be all into trendy fashion stuff with 15 layers of makeup or whatever would say a lot about it. I prefer someone that looks... well... actually pretty normal? Not like they get all their ideas of what they should be from a magazine or fashion show or something. I've always just been a person that prefers people in casual clothes and not like they're dressing for attention or anything. I'm fine with jeans and a shirt with no makeup and hair in a ponytail or whatever, it really doesn't do much for me when someone looks trendy or something.
Then again, that's just me and I'm far from typical or anything. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:25:01 PM | Having dated a few models... I can understand what the issues would be.
For one, there are some women who go overboard with "looking good"... and forget to act good as well. Yes, they might look amazing... but there's not all that much inside. I've found that some of them just seem... well, boring. They've lost the ability to just have plain and simple fun.
Others are just far too high maintenance. And that's not something most guys want to deal with.
Some of the models though, were quite comfortable in jeans and tshirt in their "non show" time... I remember one incredible lady who'd happily join me for a tussle in the park, or sitting around in jogging pants playing video games. LOL!
It was wonderful. Yet at the same time, she could turn around and get "modelled up"... with the full makeup and getup and all... and yes, when she was all done up, she was quite intimidating to most men.
They were afraid to approach her... as they always figured she'd just be way out of reach.
Of course, that was their loss. My gain. ;) | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:26:56 PM |
but the majority of the most attractive women I've dated tend to be more faithful. And if they are not tend to be up front about it.
OMG! Thanks for the laugh. I needed that today. Learn something new everyday, I suppose.
attractive = faithful
ugly = unfaithful
One doesn't have a darn thing to do with the other.
Krys | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:32:33 PM | ig it looks like they are trying to hard I'm not attracted to them. I think they are too high maintenance for me. I like the throw on a pair of jeans or sweat pants and baseball cap. just relax, when they do get dressed up for special events they look amazing.
steve | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:33:44 PM | Just because something's fashionable, doesn't make it attractive. In fact, a lot of guys think the latest 'daring fashion' often looks pretty damn stupid.
Personally, I'm really not a big fan of girls with short hair at all. If I was single and looking, any girl with short hair, like the pixie crop your friend has, wouldn't really register on my radar. Any girl out there might have a great personality, you can't see them so you can't choose who to talk to based on that. If many other guys think the same way I do, that goes a long way to explaining why she is being approached less.
Anyway, why does she need to be approached all the time? If she really wants a boyfriend, she can go approach guys. If she doesn't, not being approached by guys is hardly a nightmare. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:41:34 PM | Thanks for all your replies I'm finding this really interesting!
Just feel a need to defend my friend a little though on these counts:
I didn't mean it to sound like she spends wild ammounts of time on her appearance, she doesn't. She's just always been into fashion and now feels that she's confident enough in herself to express that.
Also she doesn't "need" to be approached by guys and if she wanted to talk to someone I'm sure she would approach them but she's noticed that attention she used to recieve before her transformation has waned and questioned it! She's never necessarily sought male attention but noticed when it left, if you know what I mean. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:51:55 PM | | To me, a woman that is highly concerned with fashion, how they look, attempting to make a point in forcing others to see her how she thinks she is, and general outward appearance is a put off. To me this denotes a generally shallow personality. It really depends on the woman and how comfortable she is in what she wears. Whether she is adopting a fashion or if is she simply fashionable. It's usually more than simply what someone is wearing or haircut that puts me off but it is a contributing (although less so than personality, behavior, and body language) factor. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:56:26 PM | I will offer a slightly different perspective to this.
What type of guy is she attracted to? If she is attracted to the jeans and t-shirt type of guy then of course she will notice less guys being interested in her. The guys that would be more interested in her may not be jeans and t-shirt guys anymore and she like anyone else will only notice people who they are attracted to and ignore the rest. An executive who needs to be more image conscious and may be in equally fashionable suits might be showing interest but she ignores them due to her not being attracted to them. I am not saying this is the case but I am trying to give some alternative explanations.
Another option could be that she is not dressing to the appropriate situation. Does she get dolled up and spend 30 minutes getting ready to go to a grocery store? I know this happens quite a bit down here in So Cal and the guys who are not looking for the pretentious high maintenance types will just roll their eyes because it is obvious they are screaming for attention and their actions are speaking louder than their words ever could. I see it all the time in gyms here. The woman in skin tight outfits with enough makeup on that screams $200 an hour with done up nails and doesn't dare sweat.
A big part of dressing fashionably is having clothes, looks and for women makeup for the appropriate situation. So if she hasn't learned that point then she might be suffering from that.
My 2 cents. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:00:06 PM | He said that girls and guys have different opinions on what is attractive. He said that while us girls thought her pixie crop and extreme eye makeup made her look vogue and exciting to guys it's just not natural or approachable enough. He said that while men wouldn't be opposed to dating super models they'd rather have them on an 'off' day than in their catwalk get up. While that is attractive he says that he prefers girls to look like that in magazines and fantasies rather than in real life. Yes they're striking but when a girls too fashionable it's off putting.
I like this analogy.
I'd rather have someone "real" than fake. I prefer the off-day woman. Real people have off-days. I'd rather have someone that I share interests with. Someone I can talk to on the same level. Fashion is not an interest. I don't "get it". So, she seems alien to me, and so we're that much further apart.
And yes, women often have strange ideas about what fashion "should be" without first consulting men. Women ask OTHER women what looks good, and if you disagree with the herd, you're wrong.
Just ANOTHER woman, like the rest. Give me one that stands out, and if they're all standing out, give me the one that stands out from them.
Besides, if we're checking out a runway model, I can guarantee you, most of us are not looking at her clothes, or even care about what she's wearing unless it's really stupid.
Gladiator shoes are coming into style. *sigh* I thought Uggs with skirts were bad. Who approved this fashion trend anyway???
Way to notice the pixie cut thing too. It can be cute, even though I prefer long hair 95% of the time. That woman may be able to "convince" me, if SHE took an active role in approaching me. Sounds silly? I won't talk to a woman unless I have a reasonable idea that I have a chance with her. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:03:15 PM | lol i seem to be shooting down so much here! by fashionable i don't mean she's running about in mini skirts and sky scrapper heels to the supermarket (unless of course hooker chic replaces boho this summer). I just mean generally being on her game, following the designers she loves and putting her own twist on things. She's a fashionable person not a sheep, in my opinion anyway. It's interesting to see different perspectives though and i will suggest this point:
If she is attracted to the jeans and t-shirt type of guy then of course she will notice less guys being interested in her. The guys that would be more interested in her may not be jeans and t-shirt guys anymore and she like anyone else will only notice people who they are attracted to and ignore the rest. An executive who needs to be more image conscious and may be in equally fashionable suits might be showing interest but she ignores them due to her not being attracted to them
to see if it fits :) thankyou for your responses! | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:07:23 PM |
He said that girls and guys have different opinions on what is attractive. He said that while us girls thought her pixie crop and extreme eye makeup made her look vogue and exciting to guys it's just not natural or approachable enough.
When I read that first sentence, the first thing I thought of was the pixie cut. That's funny that you said that.
I have noticed women seem to do this. Sometimes they'll have their own perceptions of what they seem to think is beautiful that a lot of guys just don't find attractive. And (as you proved with your "it's what's on the inside that counts and anyway she looks fabulous" response) they don't seem to listen when guys tell them the truth. Instead, they just defend whatever it is they're doing when it's obvious that it's not working rather than acknowledge that maybe it's not really that attractive afterall.
I won't speak for all guys, but for me, personally, I have never seen a woman who looked better with a pixie cut than with long hair. Ever. Never seen it. Regardless of what the rest of her looks like, that is always a strike against her looks, not something helping it. But plenty of women still seem to think this is attractive, thus they get their hair cut this way.
Not saying that this is what your friend's problem is with guys suddenly not approaching her now, but it would keep me from approaching her. And I'm sure I'm not the only one. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:37:06 PM | The difference between men and women:
Ask someone if they think Sarah Jessica Parker is attractive. The answer can typically determine gender. Guys will typically give a luke warm response at best. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:41:49 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^
What raphael said, he hit it right on the money. I can't reinforce this enough. I work with women, and what women think a guy should find attractive and what we actually DO find attractive are very often polar opposites. The 'pixie cut' that so many women think is attractive I don't know of any guy who likes that. None. Also, what the fashion industry sells is not necessarily what men find attractive. You might look as if you stepped right out of Vogue, but if the guys you want aren't paying attention, then that should tell you something. If other women and the (often gay) guys in the fashion industry are the only ones telling you that you look hot that way, and the 'normal' guys aren't, then you've got a problem on your hands if you're a straight girl. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:48:29 PM | ~FASHION VICTIM~
You say I'm lacking in passion
I say I'm true to you in my fashion
You say I'm a narcissist
I say I'm image conscious
chorus:
I'm a victim of fashion
Fashion and accessories
Fashion, fashion and accessories
You hate my avantgarde friends
They understand and appreciate me
We're all victims of fashion and accessories
Subliminal seductions from the glare of my TV
You say you want to be seduced by me
If I take off my clothes
My carefully contrived image goes
I'm so afraid to show the real me
(chorus...)
Montana Fendi Lagerfel
Mugler Kenzo Chloe
I'm a victim of fashion and accessories
Maude Frizon Jap Yamamoto Rykiel
Daily Blue Zapata Kamali Dorty Bis
Yaki Torii Pinky and Diane
Fashion and accessories
(chorus...)
You hate my avantgarde friends
They understand and appreciate me
We're all victims of fashion and accessories
I'm always true to you in my fashion - in my fashion
I'm always true to you in my fashion
In my fashion, in my fashion
Yes I'm always true to you in my fashion
In my fashion, in my fashion
--Rough Trade
= ; *})~
BTW, I love short hair on many women. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:42:47 PM | If a women is attractive they can have any hair they want... sometimes crazy hairstyles are awesome.
I thinkif she has noticed a drop in men hitting on her its because she appears to be out of their league. Thats only my opinion. Personally I think short hair on some women is increadably sexy. On others not so much. Just sayin. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:43:55 PM | I am attracted to fashionable women. That is not the problem. The problem is they are not attacted to me.  I guess they do not want to get their clothes wrinkled and hair messed up being my co-pilot. And heaven forbid a fingernail might get chipped. | |
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| Are men attracted to fashionable women?
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:46:02 PM | I agree with your guy friend. He summed it up well.
My personal feeling is short hair on women is unattractive. Tell her not to give up hope. That short hair may be attractive to gay men, if she looks masculine enough. | |
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