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| Ladies, ladies, ladies, I would love to hear what you think about my profile!
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:57:43 PM | Hey,
I've never asked for a profile review, but I was wondering what all you lovely POF ladies think about my profile. I have gotten more views than the number of emails I've sent out (not hard since I sent about 10, maybe?), so that's good. I've even gotten some emails from some ladies (and men  ), so I guess that I'm doing some things right.
But, being myself, I like to get some feedback. Plus, it's always interesting to know what other people think about your profile.
Thanks ladies (and gentleman) | |
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| Ladies, ladies, ladies, I would love to hear what you think about my profile!
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:11:32 PM |
Plus, it's always interesting to know what other people think about your profile. It is? Ahh..don't worry we'll change your mind fast enough.
I think it's okay for a hang out profile....well until you get to first date. Lose the esssay and just say what you'd like to do when you meet up with someone....all the rest is trivia and well a little....umm DULL.
You may want to clarify..you'd like to have someone to hang out with but like to meet a special lady also? Which is it...noone's gonna guess, they'll just go *click*. | |
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| Ladies, ladies, ladies, I would love to hear what you think about my profile!
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:57:09 PM | You sound like a nice young man who is moving forward in his career. This is a good thing. I'd be careful about how much you share in this profile...the first paragraph under the "first date" part...can it. I understand that you feel that way...but explaining the fact that your only "female" friend is now married and you don't chat very often is not only not important...but could be read as "he's not capable of being 'a friend' first, and maybe not ever?"
Look...I work in the wedding industry, I see what makes a couple work and what makes a couple fall apart. The best marriages, the best couples...are friends. They dance together, laugh together, and can't imagine life without each other.
Talk about the qualities you would like to find in a woman.
Take out the part of "I haven't worked out in quite awhile" - again it is a negative and who cares...from the photos you have presented you don't look like you need a gym membership.
OHHHH --- Photos!
You are a young professional...trust me women don't just look for great pecks! Put on a suit, get a portrait captured, have a friend photograph you with the Sears Tower behind you or something. Show that you lead a professional life...even in your photos. If that is the life you wish to lead and you are looking for a professional woman who has her own goals in life she will appreciate a nice image of you.
Your images are a bit under exposed and then brought back up in Photoshop or something...they are washed out. There are lots and lots of professional photographers in Chicago...find one who will give you the Jpegs and market yourself correctly.
A great portrait will create a lot of views.
Good Luck! | |
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| Ladies, ladies, ladies, I would love to hear what you think about my profile!
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:55:52 PM | Handsome: check
Eligible bachelor with no kids: check
Hang Out: minus one
Most ladies are here to actually Date. The only drawback I see is your being on the
fence about an actual date with a lady. A lot of ladies actually have blocked
*Hang Out* in their email settings because they aren't wanting a buddy or a friend to do friend stuff with. They already have those hang out friends for that.
Go all out and change your status to Dating for instant results. Dating can be as casual as you like. It's not like you committing to that one person for life ya know.
Hope this helps, and much good luck to you! | |
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| Ladies, ladies, ladies, I would love to hear what you think about my profile!
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:53:35 AM | _MP1022_
OP,
I’ll give you a word of valuable advice. Someone already mentioned that girls are here to date primarily, but 31 most people don’t hang out anymore. That term is generally lost at around 21 or so for most, when the realities of life start to set in. If you want to “hang out” list yourself looking for friends but state it the way you did in your profile… that you’ve got your eye peeled for that special someone in every situation. A Hang Out profile generally screams liar or player. It’s just the reality of this sucker.
You have a Prefer Not to Say listed, under the Body Type category no less. You should fill this in, or people will make the assumptions they want. Judging from your bust shot you look like you are probably in decent shape. You could stand to add a few more pictures for sure after you delete the first one and maybe the second. Is there a reason why you look snapped up in the first shot at Christmas time? Did the egg nog get you down?! LOL
Consider adding a few more interests and aim for some unisexual ones that a woman would also be interested in. From what you have listed in that section and your About Me you will have narrowed the women who might be interested in you down fairly far. If computer games are a consistent in your life this may be the reality of the situation though, so you need to consider that. If you found a special woman would she have to fit into your computer time, or vice versa? These are questions you should ask yourself now. If you are holding out for a gamer girl you could wait a long time before you find someone that fits your mould.
Your About Me reads like a bad personal ad. It almost sounded like one of those drunk driving commercials on the radio. “Hey, I’m mike. I’m 31, I love guitar, movies and playing vid’s in my basement. Haven’t got out much lately because I lost my license driving drunk. So….. give me a call… maybe we could hook up sometime”. I’m not saying any of that is you, it’s just the flashback I get when I read it.
Consider losing the talk about your income in the first paragraph. You could say you are a Futures broker and are fresh in the industry, but eager to learn as much as possible. Also, even though this is a “hang out” *cringe* profile you should consider describing YOU and not what you like to do. Tell us who you are in a few sentences, and steer clear of the words funny, attractive, smart, sexy, and cool, to name a few. You also should mention what type of woman it is you are looking for in a potential mate, because you did say you had your eyes peeled. And in terms of friends you should mention what you want friends for: online gaming, bowling, jam sessions, hit the clubs, riding bike, the beach, someone to talk to on the phone, a confidante, etc.
“I like to do new things. I’m not up for anything, however.” What does that even mean? The fact that you aren’t up for anything is assumed. We assume that most aren’t up for a live beastiality show, or to go get matching genital piercings. If you don’t like the idea of sky diving or something extreme like that you can say you aren’t an extreme dude, or when you get to talking tell them that you wouldn’t be interested in this or that.
Your first date section could be cut in half, and the first half stuck in the About Me section. The second half is okay, with the exception of cooking at either of your places. Women need to feel secure and safe, and being closed in either of your places alone with a stranger is not their idea of safe and secure. Public, plain view places are about the only option nowadays. After a date/outing or three then you could introduce a home date/thing.
Good luck MP. | |
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| Ladies, ladies, ladies, I would love to hear what you think about my profile!
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:57:26 AM | Agree about the "hang out" thing. And most of the other stuff.
Handsome bachelor dude, you need more pics!! More!
Your headline should be scrapped. You "feel like hanging out more"? So? The implication is, the reader should do something about it, because that's what *you* want. *I* feel like smacking people more often, but I figure that's my problem.
I also didn't like the way you assumed WE would assume you would be "sitting on piles of cash." Either don't refer to your profession at all in your "about me" (let it stand in the "profession" box), or find some other way to say this.
Didn't like your complaint about the people you hang out with acting like they're doing you a favor. It's best to avoid complaints or negatives altogether in your profile.
Did I mention you need more pics? Smiling pics! | |
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| Ladies, ladies, ladies, I would love to hear what you think about my profile!
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:41:12 PM |
If you want to “hang out” list yourself looking for friends but state it the way you did in your profile… that you’ve got your eye peeled for that special someone in every situation. A Hang Out profile generally screams liar or player. It’s just the reality of this sucker.
I don't know but I'll take your word on it. I guess I'm off-center when it comes to spotting the implication of that phrase.
You have a Prefer Not to Say listed, under the Body Type category no less.
 I don't know how I missed that.
The second half is okay, with the exception of cooking at either of your places.
Don't know what to say about this one since, well, no women said anything about it...I'll keep this in mind.
If you found a special woman would she have to fit into your computer time, or vice versa?...If you are holding out for a gamer girl you could wait a long time before you find someone that fits your mould.
Actually, I don't want to meet a "gamer chick", so I see your point. | |
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| Deuce, ol boy...
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:08:54 PM | OP,
Let us know when you get this thing worked out.
...depends who you talk to and what religion we are speaking of about the creation, but Judaism says it was created 2000 years before the earth was created as a roadmap for god to work from, whereas others say around 1280 B.C.E Moses wrote them for forty days and forty nights while god dictated from teh heavens in Christian terms. They were not laws either. The Qur'an is the law, much like the oral law of Judah. The law, composed after the Torah chronologically, predates the Torah in terms of divine right... these were the laws implied to all. | |
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| Ladies, ladies, ladies, I would love to hear what you think about my profile!
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:49:08 AM | An annotation is what I promised and an annotation is what I'll deliver. Keep in mind though, that I had to scrap a bunch of my initial comments because you made a few revisions.
Hey, I'm Mike. I'm a futures broker in Chicago. It's an unusual occupation, it's very competitive, and I like what I do. The job has major juice, but I don't think you're squeezing it as hard as you should. Based on what I remember form the original version, that may be just how you like it, so there's not need to push the issue. I would like to see each of your paragraphs expanded to at least three sentences. With just two, it will just seem like a thought trailed off.
I play guitar and have been in a band before. I love listening to a variety of music, and tend to listen to hip hop and rock most often. I'm not just saying that I like variety in music: I mean it. I'm of the impression that there are two "money shots" for a male profile. These are the opposite end of the spectrum from the "Shirtless Dude" shot. One money shot is "Dude With Cuddly Puppy", the other is "Dude With Guitar". Now, all my evidence is anecdotal, but you'll need to trust me, it's killer stuff. Get you and your axe in front of a digital camera.
I like movies/film. I'd like to get involved in it in the near future. My dad films documentaries, so I guess I got that from him. A good and interesting topic but again, it trailed off before you brought it home. I do see the minimum three sentences, but I'm only counting that first one because I like you.
My friends are very diverse, so I usually feel comfortable socializing with new people.
I like to do new things. I'm an adventurer at heart. Two more violations of the minimum for a proper paragraph. Either expand upon the thoughts or delete them both. For an example (not a truly great one), look on my profile at the paragraph that references fitness, family and friends. I had three topics with one descriptive sentence for each. There really wasn't much more I cared to add. One sentence tied them all together and made them fit into one paragraph. It's a bit of syntax gymnastics, but it works if it's not overused.
Other than that, good job on the spelling and sentence structure. <--- weak paragraph structure but technically, all my comments are part of the same paragraph.
- T | |
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| Ladies, ladies, ladies, I would love to hear what you think about my profile!
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:41:55 PM | T,
Thanks for the thoughtful input. By the way, you play bass right? Do you play with a group or do gigs as a sideman, or both?
I haven't done it yet but I will add more content soon, as well as elaborate on the topics I bring up. I'll also take time to write down my interests so that people will know what I'm interested in. Yes, this is a short paragraph, but I don't need to say any more, haha!
Lastly, I'll get a photo of me playing the guitar. Surprisingly, I don't have any. Go figure...(another truncated paragraph )
---Mike | |
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| RE: Let us know when...
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:16:16 PM |
Let us know when you get this thing worked out.
If I ask for advice, I intend to use it (as long as I believe it's good advice). I got rid of one pic and added another. I think it's a good improvement. I still intend to add more details to my profile, but for now the changes I've made and the new pic will suffice.
Comments are welcomed. | |
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