| | Guys asking to meet with you immediatelyPage 1 of 23 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23) | I've received a number of messages from guys pretty much giving out their number almost instantly and within the first or second email asking me if I'd like to meet them for coffee.
Any other ladies get these sorts of messages? Part of me thinks that they just want to get in bed with me, but the other part of me thinks that they could be really sweet guys who are afraid of losing their email in my inbox with the amount of mail I receive - it's so hard to tell who belongs to what category! | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:58:36 PM | | I'd prefer to meet someone fairly quickly or at least take it off the site as soon as possible. And I'm not looking to get in anyone's pants by just meeting them... I've wasted a lot of time talking to people and thinking maybe there'd be something only to never even meet them or get any interest in meeting from them. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:00:31 PM | I know what you mean, I tell them right up front that I will not met them, I have to get to know them better but there have been a few that don't seem to understand this.lol
I had one that after emailing I gave him my # and he still wanted to met, finally I did met him and he wanted to get married??!!
Now I find out that he did met someone from here and they are getting married, I think it was maybe a month after they met if that long.
I have a rule, I will not met anyone until we have emailed for awhile, then the phone, now days you just don't know who is out there. If they don't like this well just move on. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:10:36 PM | I believe messaging and talking to people on the phone is a waste of time because, your whole perception of them in person is going to be totally different.
A lot of guys believe this and don't/won't play the email/phone game. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:11:14 PM | | I'm here to meet someone, not to play e-mail tag for months, with no results other than making a pen pal. I say this plainly in my profile. I can only tell what I (we) need to know in person. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:14:56 PM | | Online dating sites are for an introduction only. The computer is no way to get to know someone. And a meeting is not a date... its an opportunity to get to see if a person who has written to you is someone you might be interested in dating. If there is enough initial interest after three emails or so people should talk by phone ( you can always block caller ID for safety) and decide if they want to meet . It should be in a safe comfortable place like a coffee shop on a sunday afternoon... no pressure no expectations. If a woman wants to get to extend the email correspondance beyond four I assume she is more interested in getting attention than getting to know me. Its at that point I bail. I think all people online should avoid the "I dont know you well enough to meet you line"... its a catch 22, you'll never really get to know the person by email. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:16:21 PM | Well I don't think you can really get to know people just by exchanging messages. I strongly prefer to actually meet face to face over dinner or something and just get to know one another. If not that, then atleast a phone call.
Some people don't feel comfortable with that and that's fine. To each their own. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:29:22 PM | | Arent you glad you met the guy so you could find out he was a kook and move on? I am sure you could have emailed for months and never known this about him | |
|
| |
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:50:30 PM | | hey Calichick, just read your profile and i'm LOL. i have the same thing happen all the time too. some idiot will IM me and not say a word or all he will say is "Hi, how are you", then i get nothing. i'm thinking, "wow, can't he think of anything else to say"?? i'm wondering why he messaged me in the first place if he has nothing to say. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:01:03 PM | | I understand what you mean , I have had guys send em an email with a phone number wanting to meet right away and to me without even so much as a small conversation , I think its crazy . I tend to ignore those type of guys it comes off as desperate and weird to me . | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:39:04 PM | | In my opinion dating is all trial and error.. its like playing poker.. you dont take risks you dont win...I could imagine from a girls point of view.. but think in this perspective... u are on this site to be serious... you meet someone feel a spark.. why wait through countless emails to see if its for real.. by then most sparks lose the spark...from this i feel the guys that are SERIOUS about finding that someone, could be doing the right thing.. but with soo many others looking for sex...? what u doing here go to a BAR!!!!..And i mean thats what public places during the daytime hours are for...If you dont like the guy.. u leave simple..and if u want to give it a try then u keep emailing...at least then it wont be a lost waste of emailing..trying to weed out certain guys..Its like getting a girls number and not calling her right away..things lose spark...as for how to determine which ones in which category.. its up to the girls.... | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:59:28 PM | understandable being nervous when you get a stranger wanting to meet you immediately at 11pm. however meeting right away at a diner (in the middle of the day) for coffee etc. sounds ok to me... | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:03:05 AM |
I've received a number of messages from guys pretty much giving out their number almost instantly and within the first or second email asking me if I'd like to meet them for coffee. Any other ladies get these sorts of messages?
I'd guess that hundreds of us get these messages. That's because the same guy that sent you the message also sent the same message to 100 other women on this site.
I've heard that POF's IM program tends to lock up some users' computers. If someone stops talking to you after a polite hello, it may be due to technical issues rather than stupidity. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:30:56 AM | | I use to want to email and IM and speak on the phone for quite a while before meeting. My b/f said in his second email that he wanted us to switch to phone calls. We did and we met within two weeks. It would have been sooner but I was hospitalized during that time. We have been together ever since. I found that meeting quickly prevents you from glorifying the other person or from losing interest. You find out right away whether you have chemistry in person or not. Too many times, the chemistry you feel towards someone you only email or IM or phone, doesn't carry over in person. Big disappointment! And a lot of time wasted. Hopefully, my guy and I will stay together, but if not, I would insist on meeting the next guy quickly also. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:31:44 AM | I am one of the guys that does this, ask a woman to meet right away. I generally do not give her my phone number or expect one back.
Although I have changed my behavior some to send an email or two before asking to meet just to put someone somewhat at ease as I realize that just blatantly asking for a meet on the first contact causes an extremely negative response (most of the time).
Part of the reason I do this is to get out of the damn house and do something, but mostly I attempt to do this because it keeps either of us from being able to over think the situation and build up expectations and fantasies of the other person or ourselves. Also, I interpret someone that accepts meeting within the first couple of emails as someone that is serious about actually meeting someone rather than online self centered drama and doesn't live their life based on their fears so much as their desires.
That's just my reasoning to justify my actions, I could be wrong and it may be why I am still single. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 1:21:56 AM | Well, I know it can be a scary prospect, but some of us are actually here to meet people for real. I don't mind emailing back and forth for a bit. I like to know a little about the character of the woman that I'm emailing with.
But once I have an idea what she's about, and I've given her an idea what I'm about, let's get to the phone next and set up a meeting. Because as another poster said, neither 1 email nor 20,000 emails will give you as much to go on as one face to face meeting.
If its been 8-10 emails and she still won't call me, then a) she's either not as interested as she says (see "head games"), b) too shy for this guy, or c) been burnt in the past and is comparing you to some jerk from her past. Sexy huh?
I say this seriously and without bitterness: If you have an inkling that you might like this person...use the "safe dating" rules and go meet them. I'm pretty sure no axe murders ever happened in a Starbucks. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 1:24:23 AM | | you're right, they just wanna get to business right away. you are very attractive and young that's why they do it, they think your just easy like that. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 1:42:32 AM | I am for meeting sooner rather than later. I do prefer to exchange a couple + e-mails and talk on the phone before that though. The e-mails/phone call are an opportunity to get to know each other a bit to see if we're even on the same page enough to meet. I think in 2 weeks+/-, it should be pretty evident if we want to meet. If someone keeps stalling, I tend to think they're not that interested. I'd rather spend my energy on people who are actually interested and make an effort.
I have received first time e-mails and IMs to meet and sometimes with a phone number- usually from people with 2 line profiles to boot. I have no time for that. These kinds of people are a joke and are obviously lacking common sense and/or social skills. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:15:14 AM | I don't know why but for some reason i have always been a nutty woman magnet. So, I tend to be very careful with who i meet and how fast i meet them. My best advise to you is remember where your at. This is the Internet. Millions of young girls disappear after meeting a guy on the Internet. If a guy pushes himself on you to fast that should throw up a red flag right there. Even if you have been talking to a guy and he seems OK still be careful. Never leave you home to meet someone from POF or anywhere else for that matter with out letting someone know where your at. If a man throws his phone number at you to fast or asks you to meet them somewhere to soon be very careful of them. They may mean no harm at all. But you don't know that for sure. I don't ask a woman for her phone number right off the bat nor do i ask her to meet me after 1 or 2 conversations. Heck, I don't even Im unless i am invited. I personally would be afraid it might make her nerves or she might think i am being to pushy to soon. Just be careful OP and don't be naive. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:26:54 AM | Hmm - Its easy really - Talking via email or the phone doesnt let you see the "Real" person - My friend was talking to a guy for 6 months before she finally plucked up the courage to meet him (She had professed "love" by that point) - Met him & left within 10 minutes as she didnt like him.. A waste of 6 months I think.. But can you "Love" someone without meeting them anyway? lol...
That being said - Most guys on here (and Girls) are just out for sex - The women love the attention - But it gives them a warped perspective about how attractive they are, when hopefully the initial aim was to find someone to stay with.. Online Dating is addictive - meet new people - sex, etc - but is that what "You" really want?
Someone with 1000 "Friends" or someone not quite so "Popular" who wants someone to love - Not leave.....
Have fun!! | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:28:30 AM | i haven't read all the posts here, however, i have had 2 meets where they started with an IM from a guy to me...we chatted on IM for a bit 15 - 30 minutes or so, then decided we'd like to chat in person over a drink...time from initial IM to actual meeting IN A PUBLIC PLACE less than 2 hours. LOL
I don't think everyone that wants to meet right away is creepy or having a hidden agenda...sure there are some, but you'll figure that out during the meet and nothing will happen unless you allow it to. Stay in public, drive separately, and its all good. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:48:40 AM | I prefer to meet sooner than later, because I want to know if there is a connection or not. If you spend months email and IM someone, you may run out of stuff to talk about. I am on to meet women and date them in real life, not to chat on line! In the real world we meet someone through a friend or co-worker and you go out on a date period! You do not meet someone in the real world and say no we need to chat on line or IM before we go on date! lol Right! | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:10:23 AM | I do recieve these types of e-mails but I always say no. To be honest i always think that they're a lil too desperate esp. if they keep on and on at you to take thier number red flags all the way!! I like to speak for at least a day that way you get a feel for wether they are someone you can get on with or not.
Just my 2 centsXXX | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:38:28 AM | I like to get to know someone a little bit. Don't want to take months via email but tell me SOMETHING about yourself. Had one recently with a basically blank profile who asked me a million questions but would give up nothing about himself other his listing "prefer not to say" as body type meant he was not thin but didn't want to say so and repeatedly telling me of his love for natural women.
When I said I needed to know a little bit about him to see if there was a connection, he basically insisted he drive up (5 hours) the next day for coffee. I said no, it's too soon to meet someone from out-of-state who drives 5 hours for a cup of coffee.
He still pushed to meet the next day and I told him to stop messaging me.
I once had a bad experience so refuse to be pushed into anything. If you can't share your name and tell me a little about your life, well, shoo. | |
|
Home
login 
