| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:27:32 PM | There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around
talking about how their lives sucked.
The cucumber "Man, my life sucks. When I get big,
fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad."
The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you
have it bad? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar,
put spices on me, and stick me in a jar."
The penis looks at him and says, "You think you have
it rough? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick
a rubber tarp on my head, stick me in a dark room,
and bang my head against the wall until I throw up
and pass out!."... | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:52:08 PM | A man one day noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer. Needless to say, he was delighted, as was his wife. But after several weeks, and nearly nine inches of additional length, the man became concerned and the couple went to see a Urologist. After an initial examination, the physician explained to the couple that, though rare, the man's condition could be cured through corrective surgery. "How long will he be on crutches?" The man's wife asked anxiously. "Crutches?" responded the surprised Doctor. "Well yes," the wife replied, "you're planning to lengthen his legs aren't you?"  | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:01:36 AM | | Ummm...this is an ADULT ONLY site...so posting a warning of an adult only joke, is really unneccessary! | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:49:31 AM | an "adult" warning doesn't necessarily mean she was warning 'children' she obviously knows young children don't troll around on this website.. "adult" is simply a warning that the joke is inappropriate.. or dirty.. not all adults aprove of dirty jokes or want to read them!
good joke op... left me laughing | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/13/2008 11:19:19 AM | | a long time ago there was a guy that goes to this very nice 5 star restraunt and says " i can drink any wine in the world and tell every thing about it " so people take on the offer. He gets the first glass smells it take a sip from it and says " 1931 russa the 5th verison " he was right and it gose on and on the he gets another glass smells it and he is really grossed out about it and then he takes a sip and spits it back out and gose " man this is not wine the is urin plane old urin " a voice in the back gose yeah but whos | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:01:34 PM |
an "adult" warning doesn't necessarily mean she was warning 'children' she obviously knows young children don't troll around on this website.. "adult" is simply a warning that the joke is inappropriate.. or dirty.. not all adults aprove of dirty jokes or want to read them!
LOL...true...never even thought of that...just saw the subject line, and giggled...after all, there ARE some that could be considered children, on here!
In that case....
What is something that goes well with pie, but not with pvssy?
(are you guessing?)..........................
(Did you guess a FORK? WRONG!).....
(Keep trying!!)........................................
(Ready for the real answer?)......................
CRUST!!!!! | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:03:56 PM | Brother and Sister have reached that age of discovery...Sister is upset after being teased about not having one. With a little thought, she fired back at Brother, "Well, I have one of these and can get as many of those I want !".  | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:43:15 PM | hahahha
that's has got to be the best joke I have heard in awhile :)
Good one | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/13/2008 8:01:42 PM | A man went to see his doctor because he was concerned about a red ring that showed up on his penis. The doctor gave him some medicine and said "Take 2 pills a day & come back if it's still there in 3 days."
3 day later the same guy shows up only now the red ring has been joined by an orange ring. The doctor looks at it, gives him some new medication with the same advice. "Take 2 teaspoons a day & come back if it's still there in 3 days."
Again, the guy showing up at the doctors office. Only now there is a red ring, an orange ring and a pink ring around his penis. The doctor looks at it, gives him something else and says, "Apply 2 times a day & come back if it's still there in 3 days."
The next day the guy showed up at the doctors office THRILLED because the rings are gone and asks the doctor, "What did you give me? It finally worked!"
The doctor took one look at him and said.....
"Lipstick remover"
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:22:08 PM | What do you get when you turn blonde upside down? -- caugh.. brunette. caugh caugh haha
What do you call a blonde with dollar on her forehead? -- all you can eat for under a buck- Buffet-. lol | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/13/2008 10:20:13 PM | Love it OP ... this was the best joke I've seen in a long time! I think I'll have to visit this area more often for a good laugh!
Thanks! | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:22:56 PM | | hey everyone if you thought that joke was funny you should check out my show on youtube that i do with my friend troy. its called "The Troy and Sean show" and i promise you guys this isn't spam. | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:41:52 PM | Two comedians performing on stage, Sean & Troy. When a heckler in the audiance yells out. "HEY SEAN, HOW COME YOUR SO FAT?" Sean replies: "Because every time i bonked ya mother She gave me a BISCUIT!"  | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:25:38 PM | | dude, whats with the disrespect? | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:00:05 AM | | thats not disrespect to you. its called how to deal with hecklers | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:31:28 PM | | ok then, well anyways come check out our show its very funny! | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:29:36 AM | whats the definition of macho?
jogging home from having a vasectomy | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:24:20 PM | A little boy, while out for a walk with his Dad's spots a fly lying on its back on the ground with it's legs in the air. He asks his Dad why the fly is like that and Dad replies 'Well son, that's so that God knows that the fly is dead and he can grab him by his legs and carry him into Heaven.' A couple of days later the little boys goes running to his Dad shouting 'Dad, Dad...... Mum's lying on the bed with her legs in the air shouting Oh God, I'm coming.....and if it wasn't for the milkman holding her down we would have lost her!'
What's black, white and brown and rolls all over the floor....A nun with a monk on. | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:38:04 PM | A prostitute is recently diagnosed with heart trouble but decides to go to "work" anyway.
She is approached by a potential customer and tells him, "It's gonna be 50 dollars, but I have to tell I have acute angina."
He replies, "Well I hope so, because your face is kind of ugly." | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:39:33 PM | Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:42:47 PM | | A little boy walks in on his mother taking a bath. He points to her crotch and says "what's that ?". The mother says "that's where daddy hit me with the axe" . The kid says "pretty good shot, he got you right in the c*%t" . | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:47:42 PM | If God made the front of a woman's body,
who made the back?
The council, who else would put a shithole next to a play area | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:50:53 PM | This lady is shopping in a supermarket when she notices this handsome muscular boy doing the bagging at one of the checkouts. Making sure she goes through his line, she leans over and asks if he'll carry her groceries out to which he responds, 'Sure lady.'
They no sooner get out of the store when she again leans over and whispers, 'You know, I have an itchy ****.'
To which he responds, 'You'll have to point it out lady, all those Japanese cars look alike to me!' | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/20/2008 10:55:09 AM | An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a
garment on the counter "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick
up my dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.
"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise" | |
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| ADULT ONLY joke
Posted: 5/20/2008 7:26:31 PM | | a priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they see this little boy coloring on the sidewalk. the priest asks the rabbi, "hey, you wanna screw that kid over there?" and the rabbi replies "screw him out of what?". | |
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