| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:10:37 PM | For lack of better words that is what my ex is.
It starts out that we were dating for a while and the week before I was to propose to her she did not want to see me. Things got carried away, but it came to light this girl that I loved at the time had been cheating on me. Fast forward to now I had a rough couple of months getting over her and slowly started seeing someone else. For some reason though my ex likes to include me on the updates of her life. To make a list....kicked out of her apartment, quit her job, (and the best on) is pregnant. Now for me to hear the last one, after wanting to spend my life with her, just tore my heart up again and brought up old feelings. Now she is talking to me more frequently and it's not just a hello or how ya doing. She goes into detail how she wants me to be with her and that she loves me and that i am the only one for her. My mind is in such disarray over these recent events. I mean I am with a girl that I just started trusting and then my heart wants me to be with my ex, but she is bearing a child that is not mine and if i was to see her it would conflict me to see that while she was away from me she wanted someone else that was not me. Has anyone else on this planet ever heard of such a moral dilemma? Any and all information would help me. I am just so torn apart and tired of it all. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:16:23 PM | Dude, you gotta move on and forget about her, she cheated on, if that doesnt say I love you then I dont know what does. She is now pergnat, most likly from one of the guys she was cheating on you with , and that guy most likely ran off when he found out she is pergnate.
You desrve some one that wont cheat on you. Ask your self this, do you REALLY think she loves you and wants to be with you, if she really did she would never of cheated on you in the first place
She is not wroth it, dont get back with her, you are just asking to get hurt again
Good luck | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:17:31 PM | You said it yourself, "she is a complete mindf*uck".
Do you wanna live with that?
Spare yourself a ton of misery, tell your heart to shut the *** up, throw the niceguy hat in the trash, start respecting yourself and get as far away as you possibly can from that looney bin.
Always think with your brain/gut first... heart second.
Also, when there's a breakup, avoid any and all contact with your ex. This allows you to heal/pull your head out of your ass/etc... so you can think clearly and be ready for the next one that comes along. If you don't, you're just gonna repeat the crappy drama over and over with no finalization. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:21:55 PM | | The fact you are with a girl now but still talk so intimately with your ex is kinda sad . Put yourself in your new womans place .. if she was talking to her ex like this HOW would you feel . | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:33:27 PM | """she is pregnant.....Now she is talking to me more frequently and it's not just a hello or how ya doing. She goes into detail how she wants me to be with her and that she loves me and that i am the only one for her"""
Most unemployed, homeless, young girls would like to find a sucker to be with. Could this be a rare exception? Tell her, if she puts the kid up for adoption, you can resume a "friendship" for 2 months AFTER THAT, and then take it to the next level. the real loser here sounds like the baby if she raises him/her. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:53:30 PM | It does sound like she found herself knocked up by a man who bailed, or who she knows will not be the provider and caregiver that you would have been. . . . . would have been.
I would feel differently about this situation if she had not crushed you the way she did. Very heartless when she was the one on the top of her game. Now she is a very sympathetic victim who needs saved. She forgot, or discarded, who you were when she had other options. Now she regrets it because she is lost. She blew it.
I will say that it's unlikely you will have a lasting relationship with this new girl - because you still have very strong feelings for your ex. You just can't make a relationship work when you are still pining for another. You should probably set that one free. Not to mention - I can't express this enough - when an ex sees that you have moved on . . . they want you more than ever. The best case scenario would be for you to be totally single and still say "no" to your ex.
P.S. If she had not walked all over you and your heart - and, say for instance, you had broken up for other reasons - mutual reasons - and she found herself knocked up by a loser and wanted to rekindle your relationship and wanted you to be "the" man in her life - I would not be quick to walk away from that, because you do still care deeply for her, and in that case, you might be able to look past the fact that she's having another man's baby. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:56:38 PM | Ok, let me get this straight, you find someone that you are getting along well with... Things are new, but seem pretty good...Then all the sudden the girl that F@#ked with your heart to the inth degree is preggers, homeless, and unemployed... Wow, sounds like the girl of all mans dreams...
You were her second choice, an option, that you have kept the door open for... How many times does the door have to be slammed in your face, before you realize that somethings are better left in the past?
Sure she is trying to WOO you back, it isn't like her options in the dating realm are looking all that good. Then again her track record of cheating on you, seems like a good indicator of more to come.
Do yourself a favor, stop talking to headf@#ker, because no matter how deep your love is for her, it will NEVER be the same for in return...
The best advice you can get from anyone is STOP talking to this girl, and to tell your friends you don't want to know anything about her... THe moment they disrespect that wish, walk off from them, because you really do deserve to be valued...
You have someone new, and it wouldn't feel all the sweet if she was talking to the love of her life behind your back...
Some people say that YOU can't help who you love...While this may have merit, it certainly does not mean you can't help stay with someone that treats you like crap.
Good luck... | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:09:12 AM | Everyone else has said it in nicer colors that it probably should be said.
There is no "Moral dilema" for you.
1. She picked somone else to breed with - you weren't good enough for that.
2. She wants you to pick up the check and raise the **stard - you deserve better than that.
You have a life, you've moved on. You have something better.
Tell her she pissed her chance with you away and never to darken your door again. Then break all lines of communication, and keep them that way.
You have no reason to feel guilty about any choice she made, and you sure as shit don't deserve to be manipulated into thinking you do. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:22:33 AM | | When she was lovely, happy and carefree she rejected you. Now that she's a broken woman she wants to be with you. The fact that she wanted someone else when things were going good in her life says a lot about how she views you as a man, and how much she thinks she can use you. Sounds like the guy who knocked her up won't even help her so why do you view her as a such a great catch? Are you strongly attracted to broken, needy, possibly (emotionally) abusive women? If so, good luck with that. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:24:35 AM | Hi Jon. It sounds as if you already know what the right thing to do for yourself is. Move forward. You're on that road, don't make a 'U Turn' and go back.
Maybe she's trying to grab onto security and something familiar; that would be you.
Her past behavior of cheating is not a good sign for any kind of future with you. There's a little bun in the oven on top of that. Yikes!
You're still very young and I would think, resiliant enough to keep moving on.
I don't think the feelings of being torn apart and hurt are going away anytime too soon. I'm not sure about your seeing someone just a few months after her leaving you either. Maybe you need some breathing space to refocus on what you want out of a relationship; what you expect, deserve, and want to happen in your future. This includes what and who you will allow to be a part of your life. Who's good enough to deserve you? mmmmkaaaaaaay? Treat yourself well and best of luck to you. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:55:15 AM | I hope I don't sound judgemental, but read what you wrote and you will have your answer. I would not/could not be in that type of situation again.
If someone had told you this story and asked you for your opinion what would you tell them?
Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Run, don't walk away from her as fast as you can. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:20:15 AM | ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun forrest ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!!!!
sounds like she is a master manipulator and you sound way to nice to be treated like that.
as always, just my opinion
good luck!!! | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:34:28 AM | | Sounds to me like she is just looking for someone to raise her child for her. She's realised to late what a catch you are. You've got someone else stop with her you deserve better than someone who cheated on you. Stop answering her she will soon get the message. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:59:32 AM | Where is the moral dilemma?
You're her "safety guy."
She doesn't love you-- she just wants you to pick up the pieces. She also might have the whole "nesting syndrome" thing going on.
Run away from this one. I see no moral dilemma... just someone that hurt you who wants to use you to fix them self and raise their child. I feel like you'll just get hurt again. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:02:36 AM | She is only talking to you because more than likely the father of the baby dumped her. She wants someone to take care of her, and since he won't, you will do.
Stop taking her phone calls, emails, etc. Ignore her. You do not need to be dragged through the coals again.
Please wake up and see what she is doing before it is too late. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:10:49 AM | | Why is this thread up for deletion, some problems are universal, and some lessons need reinforcing. Emotions cloud issues, it is always better to look at the facts.The facts are she cheated, manipulated you and is now trying to get you back as she has no one else.You deserve more than to be someones sloppy seconds.Be alone until you are over her and break contact. Its not your problem, don't make it so. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:17:02 AM | | I think I feel bad for the "new girl" in your life.Because you're not over your ex yet, meaning no, you cannot MOVE ON yet. You're just going to hurt her, like your ex hurt you, does she deserve that? Now QUIT TALKING TO THE EX, more you do the more your feelings will drag on, cut all ties, she's a loser, she's using you, she knows you love her and is playing you like a sucker...in the end you'll be the one alone and she'll just find a new guy to be with so give up dude, let her GO completely. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:23:16 AM | | None of these people get it. You're intelligent. You're aware of what's going on . You're logic . . . well, hearts just ain't logical now, are they? You only live once, and you seem to have less to lose than either of the other parties involved. Get back together with her and see how it goes. See how far she'll take this "feeling" that you're the one for her. Maybe she's manipulative, or maybe she's just a changed woman. Either way, you'll find out in short order, so you'll either make a couple +1, or you'll never pine for her again, and you can get on with your life. You may lose bachelorette #2, but there are POF, aren't there? You never want to live life wondering "what if", so find out, and be decisive about it. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:46:55 AM | | Hearts may not be logical, but that doesn't mean that jumping into something that your brain tells you is a very poor idea is a good thing. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:49:30 AM | Morality or a moral dilema. I dated a woman who was out to here with her new baby it was her baby. not mine I did not even know her when she became pregnoid but I did lover her just the same. The fact that I was there when the baby was born and had to sneak in was proof of it.
Now in this day and age there is DNA and the dad will be charged with the expenses. if she is in fact pregnant I believe she is telling a lie about it.
she should know the name of the dad or be able to guess on that. You could have a free ride because the child's father must take responsability it is the law all states will find him for shure.
back to whom you love best. how the heck do you know if you really love her? if you know you do go there I missed my dear love for 30 years and she missed me she had a bunch of pictures of me that she secretly kept and later was so afraid some one especially her own children would find and consider them a bad thing or worse yet just trash.
so she found me and gave them back
Now in my mind i had missed her every night in my deepest sub conscious and we were so funny when we men t I cried and told her it was so good just to see her face again the one I loved those many lonely years I never trusted enyone ever again.
so dude dont worry about a child that is not the problem.
I say wait ten days I bet she either throws herself at you or again finds a fool to play with just wait ten days imagine that.
You will remeber these words
good news is she left bad news is she came back Ha Ha Ha I am so furt sometimes but it is my ego not my life or self just my eago Ha Ha Ha | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:55:09 AM | ONCE A CHEAT ALWAYS A CHEAT.
I'm sorry but i think the best thing is to move on and stay with the woman you are with, as now that your ex has broken your trust how could you ever trust her again? The lack of trust in any relationship will just tear you both apart | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 4:03:47 AM | | Let her go...not only do you need to walk away, she also needs to learnd to stand on her own two feet. If you take her back she'll do the same again, and that won't help either of you!! I'm sorry, enjoy the time your having with the new girl, and let this one go, and grow! | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 4:10:27 AM | | dont do it! listen the girl seems like shes in a tough position she quit her job, shes pregnant, and got kicked out of her apartment. its not a coincidence shes realizing her love for you now shes looking for a savior and she went back to the person who loved her and she felt safe with..... you. give this new girl a try. usually i would say follow youre heart but i went through something similar and your hearts not always right. dont put yourself in that position let her go.... good luck with whatever you choose | |
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