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Posted: 5/13/2008 5:09:15 AM | Hey everybody,
I think I need some help here... I think I've written my profile well. Every message I send out is polite and references one or more items in the recipients profile (therefore showing that I read it...). I'm not making lewd or offensive remarks. Even still, every message I send results in "Read Deleted". Apparently, I'm not even worth a "piss off".
Any suggestions? | |
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| Review? Be brutal, I can take it.
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:48:27 AM | Can I be brutally honest, personally for me its the beard, but thats only a personal choice I prefer clean shaven as do allot of women, I wouldnt dream of telling you to change your image, sorry , good luck in your search. | |
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| Review? Be brutal, I can take it.
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:12:20 AM | Hi! Your profile is not horrible, nor is it stellar. It falls in the middle, and there is nothing wrong with that. If you could put your thinking cap on and get a bit more creative, it would probably do wonders for you. You have some good bones now, put some flesh on them!
Your headline is too long....you should change this.
You need MORE pics! Although the one you have as your main is okay, people with more pics will get more responses. A varitey of shots tells a person that you look like what your pictures show. One picture says to me: "This is the one good pic that I have ever taken in my entire life, and it doesn't even look like me." Think about it.
personally for me its the beard, but thats only a personal choice I prefer clean shaven as do allot of women, I wouldnt dream of telling you to change your image, sorry ,
So this poster says she wouldn't dream of telling you to change your image, but did anyways. This is a PERSONAL preference! Personally, I like guys who have a goatee, and spent eight years in a relationship with someone that did. If it looks good on you, keep it. A friend of mine who had a goatee for YEARS decided to shave it one day, and his own mother was so disturbed by the new look, she actually told him to never shave it again. There are plenty of women who love facial hair...and for me, as my personal preference, a man need not be clean shaven. Clean shaven is optional for me, clean is a must. Good luck to you. | |
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| Review? Be brutal, I can take it.
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:30:38 AM | Hi servman Read/deleted is pretty much SOP. It's not just you.
I'm generally pleased to be anywhere so long as I'm with the right person, although I don't need to be with that person 24/7 either. I think I'm trying to say that I'm not clingy or overly dependent. This is redundant,make it ONE sentence
I maintain a small collection of very close friends (although some of them are close enough that we don't need to see one another all that often either... how contradictory!). I'm generally good at contradicting myself and don't try to hide it; often I'm the one to point it out! Not wild about this at all, borderline fluff.
(not that I object to it either!). This goes without saying. DELETE
This is the BEST line in the whole works,AND it is where it should be "I tend to be a non-conformist" THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT! descriptive! Most of it is useless fluff. Sure,you need some fluff/filler, but you need to describe WHO you are, and WHO you are searching for.
All in all,better than average,but not great either.
best wishes
OFCB | |
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| Review? Be brutal, I can take it.
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:37:59 AM | Do not take anything that I'm about to say too personally, but consider it.
Now I'm no ladies man but I have done a pretty decent amount of dating and had a number of lengthy relationships.
As far as I can tell, a MAJORITY of women dislike facial hair, especially longer facial hair.
And although alot of women will not admit to it, some, and these are the few women that you do NOT want to waste your time on, are not open to the idea of dating a man who is overweight. Most women claim that they go by personality first and then looks. In other words they base their perception of a man 80% what comes out of his mouth and 20% of what composes it. The sad truth is that although a man may possess a great, vibrant personality, if he is not comfortable with his looks it will come off as insecurity, and that is exactly what I see happening here with your one lonely picture.
Secondly, I find that most of the time that I get replies over this site or the internet in general, it is because I said something either ridiculously funny or ridiculously interesting to that particular woman. For example,the average woman is 5'4, weighs 150lbs and wears a size 14. Mention this in an email(in a subtle way mind you) and you will not believe the bombast of replies you will get from women, simply disputing the fact!(whether or not it be presently true at the moment)
However, most men seem to think that just getting replies is the trick..... I've learned through experience that it is not. Once you actually get replies, there is the task of establishing common ground, maintaining contact and setting up a meeting... Once you get that far, then you have to quickly figure out if you like that person and how far you want things to go, and how far you think THEY want things to go... Now I'm DEFINITELY not a master at any of those yet, but from my experience , WHAT WORKS WORKS AND WHAT DOES NOT WORK DOES NOT. So my official advice: Find out what works, what works for you, and stick to it. Discard what does not. You will be much better off...
Good luck...
Seriously hope I helped a little. | |
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| Review? Be brutal, I can take it.
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:53:15 AM | As far as I can tell, a MAJORITY of women dislike facial hair, especially longer facial hair.
Oh come on! As far as you can tell?! Have you taken a survey? Have you even grown facial hair yet to test your theory? OP, if you don't like your looks, change them by all means. Would you even want to date a woman who didn't want you the way you are? Work on being charming when you do make contact, but all this talk of weight and facial hair is pure rubbish.
Especially longer facial hair? We aren't talking ZZ Top here. | |
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| Review? Be brutal, I can take it.
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:53:50 AM | | nursinggrl,I did not tell the op to get rid of his beard,we all have are preferences , the op asked for honesty and I gave it to him, weres the problem, | |
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| Review? Be brutal, I can take it.
Posted: 5/13/2008 10:00:15 AM | | No problem...I just said what it is...a PERSONAL preference. Lots of men don't like short hair, but I don't fixate as that being the reason why I don't get replies. Variety is the spice of life, and there are many reasons why people won't respond to you. I just don't think pointing out his facial hair is constructive, it really is besides the point. | |
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| Review? Be brutal, I can take it.
Posted: 5/13/2008 10:17:26 AM | I understand that he's no ZZ Top and not even close to Wayne Static. I actually think his facial hair does look good on him(but I'm not a WOMAN!). Perhaps I'm just misguided by the fact that every girl I've ever associated with or dated stated at some point they'd rather have a guy clean shaven than with a beard.
Consider this however -- I posted a picture of myself with facial hair grown out and a picture of myself in the exact same pose clean shaven on a picture rating website, and overall my clean shaven picture scored 4 points higher than my picture with facial hair. Thats' the diff between a good first impression and a bad first impression.
I can't stress enough though that the weight thing will surely not be a factor for the RIGHT WOMEN as long as some kind of emotional, gut level attraction is established through conversation, and evoked through the profile
I myself have rewritten my profile about 8 times in the past 2 weeks, and that does not include after I posted a request for my own profile review.
I also want you to know man, that you're not alone. Out of about 50 messages that I send over 10 days, I will get probably about maybe.. 8 replies? 9 if I'm lucky? Once we actually start to converse however, like 3 of those 9 are weeded out by flaky women, disinterested, or women that plain just had 40 other messages in their inbox and saw someone they liked more. This site is pretty harsh.
Really though , think about it. If what you are doing is not working, THEN DON'T DO IT!
Find what does, and do THAT.
Yes I know this is already a pretty long post, but I have a great idea that worked for me that will most assuredly work for you or any other guy that happens to read this post -- make friends with a guy that you KNOW is successful with women, and hang out with him. Observe how he acts around women, and see if you can't tell what it is about him that makes women so into him(I ASSURE YOU it is related to his behavior, and personality much MORE than his looks or wallet). Before you know it, you will pick up on things you never did before because you weren't looking for them. Everything will just click and you will have a more firm understanding of women, the dating scene, and how things work...
In case you are skeptical, my best friend a couple years back was literally a womanizer. I hung out with him for a couple of weeks, just watching how he acted and the reactions he got. The key to this working though, is you have to seriously be this guys friend! Don't tell him that you're only hanging out with him to watch him .. or anything like that.
I know many women will read this and view me as a womanizer myself, but you know what I have a saying: No one shall take my happiness away.
Live life by that, and trust me the women will come. | |
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| Review? Be brutal, I can take it.
Posted: 5/13/2008 10:26:18 AM | There are couple threads on the facial hair (not on profile reviews forum, but you should be able to find them). General consensus was that it is a mixed bag when you have a beard or mustache, but if you do, make sure it is well trimmed.
Oh, and only for guys. The consensus was that any time you see that type of thing on a woman, it is a turn off. Go figure.
In practical experience, I was told that for many men (including myself) face hair is bristly and scratches woman's skin too much. So, if you are trying to get some face-to-skin contact, that might not be a good thing. How much it affects the preferences of women, I have no idea. | |
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| Review? Be brutal, I can take it.
Posted: 5/13/2008 10:38:58 AM | On the contrary, Yev! When you have a fully grown goatee, the hair is soft, and not scratchy at all! Truth be told, the last guy I had "face to face" contact with, was clean shaven, but even after one days worth of growth, there was enough stubble there to irritate my skin badly...it took a week for the rash to go away! I spoke to a girlfriend about this, and she seconded my complaint. In eight years with my former SO who had a full goatee...never any skin irritation, EVER. I will totally have to disagree with you on that.
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| Review? Be brutal, I can take it.
Posted: 5/13/2008 11:11:54 AM | Your points are all well taken and more pics are on the way. Trouble is I'm usually behind the camera, not in front of it.
How are the textual revisions? | |
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| Review? Be brutal, I can take it.
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:35:53 PM | This is definitely an improvement! But! NOT THERE YET!
1. First paragraph needs at least one,two would be better, discriptive UNIQUE personality traits.
2 . I maintain a small collection of very close friends (although some of them are close enough that we can go months without seeing one another and pick up right where we left off). This is much better,but would suggest using a comma or period rather than parenthasis.
3. "I have a very dry and somewhat skewed sense of humour that a lot of people don't get right off the bat. This should be at the top in "about you".
You have done the opposite of most by providing insite to EXACTLY what you are looking for with very little "fluff". Good job! I do not think it as possible to be too revealing when it comes to personality traits, you may get less mail, but in the long run,the ladies that contact you will tend to be closer to what you want. Don't be afraid to expand upon what you have here WITHOUT adding "fluff". If you need to,add a few "interests" that you enjoy to provide some "body" to your profile. But the first option I suggested I feel would work much better if you can do it that way.
best wishes
OFCB | |
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