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Posted: 5/13/2008 8:28:48 AM | hey i just wanted to start a short joke thread, so that way you can get the joke right way instead of reading a story lol....anyone got anything good ?
"three men walk into a bar you think one of them would have saw it "
Q.How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A. Money
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Posted: 5/13/2008 3:22:07 PM | Q. What's round and hard and sticks so far out of a man's pyjamas that he can hang his hat on it?..................A. His head.  | |
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Posted: 5/13/2008 3:35:37 PM | whats the difference between "snots" and "brussel sprouts"
no matter how hard you try, you cant get children to eat brussel sprouts. | |
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Posted: 5/13/2008 8:22:07 PM | Why don't blind people skydive?
They DO! It just scares the sh*t out of the dog.
This was told to me by a kid at work.
What do you get when you cross a brown baby chicken and a brown cow?
Browwwwn-chick-a-brown-cowwwwwww!!!!!!
Put the produce away people! | |
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Posted: 5/14/2008 2:30:38 AM | A man walks into a psychiatrists office and says: I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam.
The psychiatrist looks at him and says: Relax, you're too tents (tense, get it, ha)
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A man walks into a psychiatrists office wearing nothing but saran wrap. The psychiatrist sighs and says: well, I can clearly see you're nuts.
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Why did it take the Polish couple two weeks to drive from Chicago to Milwaukee?
Every time they saw a sign that said "clean restrooms" they did.
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Posted: 5/14/2008 6:08:36 AM | Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism
Why is air a lot like sex?
It's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
Male fraud
What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
Klondike
The jokes can be a lil longer just not a whole page long, | |
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Posted: 5/14/2008 3:45:08 PM | what did the doe say after crossing the highway?
ill never do that for 2 bucks again
how many politicians does it take to pave a freeway?
none, they dont like making things free | |
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Posted: 5/14/2008 4:07:03 PM | "Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pack of cards!"
"Sit down and I'll deal with you later."
"Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a bridge!"
"What's come over you?"
"Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!"
"Pull yourself together!"
How do you piss off a female archeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it came from | |
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Posted: 5/14/2008 7:21:17 PM | america.... the land of opportunity..... and only country where a poor black boy can grow up to be a rich white woman
smiles/peace | |
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Posted: 5/15/2008 8:35:22 AM | What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 7:19:49 AM | - I had a knock on my door last week and looked up to see two missionaries standing there. Although I didn't say it, I thought they looked like they were in an odd position.
- Why is it that neat people freak out in the presence of a mess, but that messy people don't freak out when they are in a pristine room?
-I am in the early stages of planning a trip to New York City. I am going to find Delilah and beat the shit out of that her.. IF I HEAR THAT ****ING SONG ONE MORE TIME.. | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 7:23:11 AM | Q: Why is dating a legal secretary so frustrating?
A: 'cause she says, "Stop and/or I'll slap you!"
***************
Q: Why is sex with an optometrist so frustrating?
A: 'cause he always says, "Is it better like this, or like this?" | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 12:59:49 PM | My Doctor said I have cancer and have only six months to live
I said: "Doc, I want a second opinion..."
He said: "You're ugly too...!!" | |
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Posted: 5/18/2008 3:02:56 AM | hope you's like
What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womens legs
A= a clit around the ear and a flap across the face
Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
A because their plugged into a genius
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