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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?      Home login  
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 DJ Fukalya
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 1
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Sometimes when I'm on a date or just hanging out with a female friend the moment presents itself. We'll be talking then all of a sudden there's a pause and we're both staring intently into each other's eyes and gravitate a little closer...then nothing happens. I ain't gonna lie, I'm a little shy so I'm assuming I'm ruining it by not initiating the kiss first right?

Oh and its not like I never kissed a woman because I've kissed two but that was because they pratically made me. Women like that are pretty rare.
 Yesterdays Hero
Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 2
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:22:19 AM
The first kiss is a tricky little thing. Especially if you're just hanging out with a female friend like you mentioned.

Nothing worse than going for it, and getting 'the pullback'. Awful. Then again, there's nothing better than going in, and you're 'cleared for landing'.

You kind of have to just know if things are going that way with the person you're around. You could assume you're ruining it, but at the same time, women that initiate the first kiss are alot more rare than men.

If you're both doing the stare, go for it. At least that way you're not always wondering what if.
 DJ Fukalya
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 3
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:27:16 AM
That's a good idea. Thanks for the good advice! I wish I would've thought about that a long time ago but I'd probably end up having a dozen kids by now.
 Corvinm
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 4
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:34:45 AM
Think of those moments as the light hitting green in a drag race. Sometimes it may mess up, sometimes it may be awkward, but it is an opportunity. You've got enough style to take advantage of it.
 DJ Fukalya
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 5
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:41:57 AM
You know what I've always felt like it was like a light turning green but thats when the Left side of my brain kicks in and ignores my Right side, telling me that I'm being delusional. I've been best friends with this girl for a year and a half and those moments come and go. I'm actually surprised that they still pop up.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 6
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:13:38 AM
The elusive first kiss and how do initiate it without getting rejected. First of all, you have to realize that a kiss is the first initiation of intimacy and it's more than just a kiss. So if you are sitting around with just a friend and you want to kiss her, you are asking for disaster. Also there are the expected date kiss, which happens at the end of the date at the door and what not and most of the time they mean absolutely nothing. Why? You kiss and still, no second date. So you need to set it up right. First of all, be in a situation where you are close to each other, such as a bar, or some chairs at a 45 degree angle of each other. So if you're at a restaurant sitting across. Nothing is going to happen properly.

So let's assume the chemistry is going well. So what you need to do is start testing the waters. That is done very easily by touching her. First casual, like her wrist or her shoulder. Just a simple tap while you're talking. Then you pull back. Make her have to lean forward and invade YOUR space. Work with this body language until touching becomes natural and she touches you as well. Then start gazing into her eyes. Do this while talking. Even lower your tone of voice. Then at some point touch her face. Move some hair off her face, or pick something of her eyebrow. If she welcomes that move, she is ready.

So here there are two things you can do. I used to then make the move for the kiss, but later on found it to be more interesting to actually make her do the first kiss. So what you do is lower your voice and talk about something more intriguing or interesting. Then smell her. If she looks at your eyes and then lips. Go for it. Move forward, but just as you are about to kiss. Stop. Look at her eyes. See if she is there with you. More than likely she is. Then kiss. Or you can do what I prefer to do, at this point pull back a little. If you are still connected here, she will move forward and kiss you. That simple.
 DJ Fukalya
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 7
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:24:32 AM
Wow. Thanks OutMind. That in depth guide's gonna be put to good use and practice.
 lilangel3
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 8
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:28:52 AM
It's like taking baby steps.
When I was young and foolish it all seemed so awkward.
Now I'm old and stupid it all comes so naturally. when shes's ready you will know.
"just remember.it's all in the kiss".. you will know if it is worth another one,,,
it has to be there, or it isn't...
voice of experience. LOL
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 9
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How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:38:45 AM
Yuo move in for the kill! just kiss her. maybe start ont eh cheekto guage her reaction.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 10
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:45:21 AM
Personally, I see absolutely nothing wrong with ASKING if you may kiss her! :)

I know, it seems a bit old fashioned...but it is also romantic...and kind.

And the first kiss means SO MUCH! It can actually make or break future kisses!
 cktoronto
Joined: 5/8/2007
Msg: 11
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How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:56:01 AM
I would never, on my life, ask a woman permission to kiss her. It sets a submissive tone for the relationship that is hard to overcome, in my opinion.

My answer to your question is:

Once the mutual eye contact is established, hold her shoulders and move in for a kiss while keeping an eye open just a bit to gauge your distance from her face. Once your lips are less than an inch from hers, stop. Yup, stop.

At this point you've basically taken all the 'risks' without actually kissing her, I've never had a woman NOT cross that last inch herself. If she doesn't she is not into you bro.


edit: I should have read this whole thread, another person offered similar advice above. The difference being I would only have an open-eye first kiss with someone I felt an EXTREMELY strong connection with.
 katie1155
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 12
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How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:33:45 AM
I agree that the "first kiss" can be tricky, awkward and always in question. It's hard to figure out if she is into you at that moment. Coming from a woman, you can try this-it leaves control in the hands of both the "kisser" and the "kissee".
Very gently place one of your hands on the side of her face. Gently massage her face with your thumb, and ever so gently place a soft kiss on her forehead. If she is in the mood to want more, more often than not she will lower her eyelids and lift her lips for a kiss.
That gets me every time!! It's safe, non-threatening ans OH SO SWEET!!! JMO
 SCUDRUNN3R
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 13
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How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:05:37 AM
You just DO it- break the cycle. ;)
 DJ Fukalya
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 14
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:29:12 AM
A forehead kiss is actually a good idea. I usually only do that to adorable babies or pets though. I didn't know women liked it.
 galonthemt
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 15
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:31:57 AM
Well you dont exactly ask...You tell her that she just looks so beautiful with the moonlight shining on her(or silhouetting her) that you have this impulse(or desire, or need) to kiss her and then you go for it.
Now, I'm not so specific here that it cant be candle light or sunlight or the glow from the refrigerator bulb lol But you get the point.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 16
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How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:39:04 AM

I'm a little shy so I'm assuming I'm ruining it by not initiating the kiss first right?

You betcha.
 johnnyjayz
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 17
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:50:31 AM
First of all, I can tell when a women is into me on a date or else I would never use this technique. Find a place where your alone and while talking about whatever your talking about, just change the subject and say "you know what, do you want to kiss me right now?". She will be caught by suprise and usually giggle and say "I don't know", and then you say (as your leaning into her) "well come over here and let's find out" and then just do it. If she says no, then you say "Well, I didn't say you could" and then just continue with the conversation. The first one will pretty much all the time if she's into you like I said. Good luck.
 ~Kyn~
Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 18
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:11:48 PM
Nothing worse than going for it, and getting 'the pullback'.

Hehe...I did that to a guy about 6 mths ago.

For the life of me I couldnt remotely understand WHY he was tryin to kiss me anyway.

Its not like I gave him any signals whatsoever...and dont think we had a conversation that involved any eyecontact. Very strange.

Here's a freebie to men in general...UNLESS a gal shows her interest in you too...making a move on someone you're just hanging out with...probably isnt the way to go.

I would never, on my life, ask a woman permission to kiss her. It sets a submissive tone for the relationship that is hard to overcome, in my opinion.

arrrgh!...geez....playing stupid control games in relationships. *shakes head*

I wouldnt "ask"...simply cos I think it would kinda ruin the moment in my opinion...but Id definately set the mood for it to happen.
Wait for the extended looking into each others eyes ...then move in and woohoo !
 DJ Fukalya
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 19
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:25:21 PM
Yeah I'm smart enough not to ask. That feels kind of corny.
 mr internet
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 20
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:37:12 PM
I send out a crew to place traffic cones and mark the location of her lips with orange paint. Then when I get the chance I swing by and plant one on her.
 CherylCake
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 21
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How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:48:55 PM
So where do you get a kissing swing???I want one. Is it like drive-by?
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 22
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 4:04:20 PM

I would never, on my life, ask a woman permission to kiss her. It sets a submissive tone for the relationship that is hard to overcome, in my opinion.


Maybe it is a difference in generations that people have differing opinions of such...but HOW IN THE HECK does asking to kiss someone, set a submissive tone to the relationship?! Does that mean just reaming in on one, sets a dominant tone?!

Honestly...in most situations where someone is asking "permission" (for lack of better words) to kiss...they already know the chemistry is there...the kiss would be welcome...and they are just being nice asking. It's a little old fashioned...but not TOO much so. :O)
 Dianne1971
Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 23
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:54:40 PM
Johnny......say "you know what, do you want to kiss me right now?". She will be caught by suprise and usually giggle and say "I don't know", and then you say (as your leaning into her) "well come over here and let's find out" and then just do it. If she says no, then you say "Well, I didn't say you could" and then just continue with the conversation.

LOL...I saw that episode of "the pick-up artist" also!
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 24
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How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:02:35 PM
Just lean in a pucker baby - then lay one on her!!
Chances are she is feeling it too! If ya don't kiss her she may be dissapointed and think you are not interested! Never hesitate on that first kiss - because if the urge is there - it's there for a reason!!
 johnnyjayz
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 25
How Do You Initiate The First Kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:12:09 PM

LOL...I saw that episode of "the pick-up artist" also!


lol you caught me, mystery is the man! Hey, believe it or not it works. You just have to be sure that you always ask if she has seen that show or not first, or else it can't be used ;)

I'm not really one for "lines" anyway, that one just seemed pretty good. You will know when the time is right for a kiss anyway. A certain look, gesture, body language, etc., they are all key, just don't ask.
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