| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:18:50 AM | I really need some advice, and I don't even know how to title
the thread.
Some women become very nervous when in the company of a man they
are attracted too. They almost can't function and can't think straight!
For such women, does this lessen or go away if they are attached,
or do they still react in this way regardless?
In other words, should one just approach these women, or should
one just respect this idiosyncrasy of theirs. I've run into women
like that in circumstances, professionally, where it is not really
acceptable to approach someone in a romantic sense. But I would
really love to!
Thanks in advance, because I've seldom wanted a question answered this bad! | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:24:09 AM | just keep on smiling to them continuously while chatting, that would definitely break the solid ice!
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:25:27 AM | | I have a personal experience with this. I had crushes on a couple of guys over the years. At first I can barely talk to them it felt almost like my throat almost swelled up. But yes it does lessen, the feelings don't always but as I became more comfortable I was able to communicate better. Treat her well , and you will be well rewarded. | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:30:09 AM | Is that an extra special degree of attraction (that I should act on) as
far as they are concerned, or is it just the way THAT woman responds
to ANY guy she is attracted too? | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:34:08 AM | | For me its an extra special degree of attraction as you would put it. It wasn't all men I was attracted to. I find alot of men attractive, but there has only been a couple that I have had "Crushes" on. One of them led to 5 year relationship which was fantastic. | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:37:50 AM | Once they feel a level of comfort with you, they'll be fine! Just be yourself and show them there is nothing to be uncomfortable/nervous about.
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:42:32 AM | | do what guys gotta do with me ...force it out of me cause i'm to shy for my own good i can't even talk to a guy i want to date | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:46:49 AM | I have two delemmas! One is a doctor! Which I consider out of my league!lol
And lives further away then I would prefer.
The other, many would argue, is too young, and I wonder how this fits into
the overall picture! She may be attracted, but have no interest in a relationship!
Maybe, I remind her of her great grandfather! lol Must be the OLD SPICE!
That would make sense to me! I mean there are a lot of women I find attractive
but don't want a relationship with them! | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:00:34 AM | I'm usually always nervous when I first meet someone, attracted to them or not, lol. However, the more I get to know the guy the more comfortable I become. It just takes some time, and a little patience on the guys part. Everyone gets nervous (yes, even guys) when they find someone they're really attracted to, or really like. Would you just back away and ignore it if it were you?
As for your circumstances, I don't believe anyone is out of anyone's league. I say go for it, unless the distance really bothers you. Though I'm not going to say much about the 'young' one. I'm twenty years old, and have always gone for older men, lol. I've had a ton of guys back off because of that...it's sort of dissipointing. xD | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:19:33 AM | maybe try...make sure there's no ring on her finger, / and do approach her.... leave her with the thought. first.
if she's that nervous. it will allow her the time she needs to "ground" herslf again, and think in a more realistic setting.
you'll never know if u don't.
we only live once/ give it a go.
in the professional situation... don't approach her in a romatic way. maybe u cld come up with
"other" sutle invitations of interest.
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:25:35 AM | I get that way; I still get that way an I am in a relationship. I have been in situations where I was attracted to soemone an I got even more shy than usual [I can be painfully shy at times].
It would depend on where you know the lady from. If it's work, then thats a dificult one. Best way is to smile and say hi. Start from there and build. Coffee, etc. Take things slow. As someone who is shy and gets nervious, it's best to go slow. | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:34:08 AM | The funny thing is, the one woman is really quite feisty and outspoken.
All the more funny to watch, when she comes undone! She actually
comments on it! Different, for sure! I've never acted on it, because of
the circumstances, and I believe she is now involved, so I wonder if I
missed that boat! | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:49:37 AM | How to Approach Nervous Women?
Ooh, I know this one
stealthly
from behind
down wind
with a big club
 couldn't resist, you said you wanted your question answered bad...
ps. the direct approach is always best | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:51:01 AM | Whether one is a doctor or one is too young is not the point (unless she's underage). If these women are tongue-tied around you then there is a very good chance that they are attracted to you. If you are interested in them you are going to have to help them out by talking to them. And yes, use some humor.
If I understand correctly, you haven't really approached either women so you have missed the boat on one? Do you want to miss out on the other? | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:54:46 AM | No wonder women are nervous around you OP, you look like Keith Scott from One Tree Hill!
Must be nice having the likeness of a celeb. | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 16 | |
| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 12:02:09 PM | Here's a little heads up.
If a woman is nervous around a man...its cos she realllllly likes him.
^^^ I know that was said before...but theres a point to it.
If she's nervous...she's likely thinking of getting to know you and entrusting her feelings to you.
So the minute she finds out you're seeing more than one woman...she's likely to do a runner and not look back
Better be sure you dont lose them both.
My free advice...date ONE person at a time.
Sooner or later you lose someone you didnt wanna lose over something that didnt have to happen.
And frankly...you're too old to be making screwups like that. | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 12:09:06 PM | Ahhh I remember being nervous over a guy. It would be cool to experience that again...not sure if it doesn't happen anymore because I grew out of it, or because I haven't met anyone that I have that much of a crush on/interest in.
Back when you'd see a guy and he'd be the living dream type thing. Teens and early 20s were great for this...fond memories. Anywho...
I do vaguely remember that it got way easier as time went on and I got to know a guy better, they became more human and less "Godlike". I didn't like them less, just related to them more. Sigh. | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:12:42 PM |
How to Approach Nervous Women?
Ooh, I know this one
stealthly
from behind
down wind
with a big club
Hausfrau
You make me NERVOUS!
[but I like it!] | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:14:11 PM | My Ego is flattered about being a celebrity. However, I don't consider
myself being good looking as this has never made the difference to being
very lucky in the romance department. We almost all have that unique
twist, that achilles heel that is our undoing, no matter what other positive
attributes we may have.
My experience has been, that yes, women run when there is another
woman of interest, even remotely in the picture! And yet, I see and
hear so many cases where this just sparks some competitive instinct
in some women! From what I understand, Brad Pitt is taken, is he not? lol
Your input and information have greatly exceeded my expecations!
Thank You
My Doctors Appointment is coming up  | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:21:33 PM |
Brad Pitt is taken, is he not
Sorry Brad although you are a pleasure to look at I wouldn't even think of dating you.
My Doctors Appointment is coming up
Wait a second is this doctor you are talking about ..... Your Doctor?
myself being good looking as this has never made the difference to being
very lucky in the romance department.
Luck has nothing to do with, being able to read obvious signs that a woman is interested in you does. | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 21 | |
| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:25:53 PM |
And yet, I see and
hear so many cases where this just sparks some competitive instinct
in some women!
Well for as interesting as this is in theory ^^^ ...what it does is ultimately undermines the foundation of your relationship.
Stupid games...and who am I to point out the obvious...?  but hey...
...thats your choice...and good luck with it. | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:45:24 PM | Yes, A specialist in Blunt Force Trauma!
Seems someone or something snuck up behind me with some blunt object!
That's the last thing I remember | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 2:00:32 PM | Keep things neutral, avoid pressure, best to avoid flirting too, in my opinion, just talk, take time, get to know her as a person and allow her to get to know you. When you know someone, you begin to feel comfortable with them, you begin to be able to predict how they will react, knowing what they think of things. Trouble is, if you are only doing this because you want to date her, it's not really a good plan, since your agenda will mean you're not being genuine and will mean that you'll be disappointed if she doesn't like you and you've "invested" all that time -- also she'll probably pick up on the lack of 'genuine' and the nervousness will only escalate, even if you do convince her to date you.
As to the doctor thing, forget that -- qualifications mean nothing within a relationship. Being able to do heart surgery doesn't mean you are any better at being loving than anyone else. Qualifications and professional skills cause no inequality in a relationship (although attitudes towards them can do).
The best solution is taking time so she can know you and get used to your behaviours, ways of thinking, reactions. Sometimes it takes a lot of time. It takes being totally genuine too, else there's no reason for the paranoia to go, is there? | |
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| How to Approach Nervous Women
Posted: 5/14/2008 4:57:13 PM | “My experience has been, that yes, women run when there is another
woman of interest, even remotely in the picture! And yet, I see and
hear so many cases where this just sparks some competitive instinct
in some women!”
If a man can’t make up his mind, I’ll make it up for him by removing myself from the equation. Nope, not competitive.
“Seems someone or something snuck up behind me with some blunt object!”
Kyn, did you or Red get him with the Man-Bat?
“As to the doctor thing, forget that -- qualifications mean nothing within a relationship. Being able to do heart surgery doesn't mean you are any better at being loving than anyone else. Qualifications and professional skills cause no inequality in a relationship”
That was well said. I used to worry about men that make more money than me until a
wise man convinced me that someone is better than you only if you think they are. | |
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