| Inviting a friend that's a girl to cookout
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:46:38 AM | I've read through a few posts and believe there has to be a good amount of time before a potential girlfriend should be introduced to your children. I have a friend that I've known for about a month and a half now. We've gone out to bars with her friends, breakfast a couple times and communicate via email almost every day. We discuss our current relationships and give each other advice from the opposite sex's point of view.
Summer is coming and I'll be having cookouts when I have my kids and I'll be inviting my Dad, siblings and their kids. I would like to invite my friend too. There's absolutely nothing romantic between us and never will be. I think it would be good for my kids to see that I don't just work and spend time alone when they are not with me.
Is a friend that happens to be a girl acceptable? We'll be outside so I don't think they will feel that their space is being invaded. Any thoughts?
Thanks. | |
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| Inviting a friend that's a girl to cookout
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:03:50 PM | If you are showing her strictly as a friend there should not be a problem. It would help if other friends (male and female) were invited to diffuse the appearance of a girlfriend.
Also, no PDA in front of the kids. | |
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| Inviting a friend that's a girl to cookout
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:06:30 PM | OP, in 1st paragraph you say "potential girlfriend" and in second you say "There's absolutely nothing romantic between us and never will be." Which is it?
That said, why don't you invite two or three friends that day, make a party of it? That way there's no particular emphasis on this one particular woman, whatever her role is to you. | |
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| Inviting a friend that's a girl to cookout
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:45:38 PM | | I say a friend is a friend. If she is "just a friend" then why not? Would you invite a male friend to the same sort of cookout? I'd frankly be less concerned to bring a female around my kids in that situation than I would my family. My family always seems to want to put labels and pressure on my relationships with female friends, so I'm slow to bring females around my family. If you feel you know this person and she is respectful and has your best interest at heart, then I think its cool, especially if there is nor romance. On the otherhand, if there are romantic feelings, then I'd be careful. The danger in bringing woman you date around you child is of course that your kids will form some attachment and then the relationship doesn't workout. In those cases, it is hard for the kids to understand, and it may even make them feel somehow responsible. The same thing sometimes happens when you separate or divorce. Whatever happens, have fun and good luck! | |
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| Inviting a friend that's a girl to cookout
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:33:18 PM | Geek
I have a very close friend that is truly
a lucky blessing , she is part of my life,
and doesn't at all cause any friction.
Extremely great to have her in times of
uncertainty. | |
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| Inviting a friend that's a girl to cookout
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:00:20 PM | | I don't see the issue of this if she's just as a friend as you claim. I guess you thought she could be a potential gf, but you realize that it's not heading that way. | |
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| Inviting a friend that's a girl to cookout
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:26:36 PM |
Bring her. Why hide somebody nice from your children?
Eh... if she's nice and a friend, that's one thing. If you expect them to get attached to one another, I'd avoid it personally. At least for a while. | |
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| Inviting a friend that's a girl to cookout
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:33:04 PM | i think the OP was just stating the timeline of introducing of a gf, but is asking about the timeline for a friend - not gf.
go ahead and invite her. maybe tell the kids before hand so they don't misunderstand?
and yes, invite others as well so its not misleading.
i love cookouts. have fun!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Inviting a friend that's a girl to cookout
Posted: 5/15/2008 2:16:45 AM | | Yeah man invite her. She is just a friend, and if she was anything more, it all depends on the age of the kids. If your kids are at the maturity level of a normal 10 year old, and you and the ex have been divorced for over a year, than a month is good 10-13, wait another month, 15-17, just tell them first, and see what they think, and 18 and above they are mature enough to relize its time to move on. But yeah, have some of yours and hers(the ones you go to the bar with) come out too. I hope that helped!! | |
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| Inviting a friend that's a girl to cookout
Posted: 5/15/2008 10:41:21 AM | Thanks for the input guys.
Sara, I would love to have her friends come along too but that would have to be a weekend with no kids. She has a couple of friends that she's considering setting me up with. She's just trying to figure which would be the best fit.
The other poster was correct, I only mention "potential girlfriend" when stating a time line for GF meeting kids. My friend approached me via myspace and stated that she was looking for a male friend to hang out with. She liked my profile, we have things in common and live close by. It's turned out to be pretty cool. | |
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