| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:58:45 PM | How long before you "know " someone enough to let them come home and spend the night? I think that one meeting isn't enough but then I'm not eighteen anymore and I'm talking about someone I "met" on POF, that is online.
This is the 3rd time this person has invited himself to spend the night, 1st time during our first IM chat, 2nd time before we met, and now in an email after I agreed to see him a second time.
The first time, I laughed it off , the second time, I told him, we hadn't even met, for heavens sake, I though he got it, but now he invites himself overnight again as part of the second meeting, saying I should be ok with that because now I know him. Well...
It seems to me like he's gone without for too long and needs a fix with the first warm bod? Sounds too desperate. 
And anyway I don't know if I want to spend that much time with him yet or be that intimate. We haven't even held hands, let alone kissed.
What do you all think? | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:04:54 PM | I'd say nice try and move on. He's definitely not a gentleman and just trolling. | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:20:22 PM | ^^^ what she said LOL
if he's not desperate then he's a player - neither are a good match for anyone | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:27:50 PM | | I have found that a man who is interested in YOU and not in a booty call acts that way...they would never disrespect you by trying to pressure you into anything. If someone is pushing buttons this soon, you really don't have anything to loose cause there is nothing really there. Even if he spends the night the outcome will be the same...game over! | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:38:48 PM | You've met twice and he's inviting himself over for a "sleep over," which we all are smart enough to figure out does NOT mean reading Mother Goose stories with cookies & milk. This guy seems way too pushy and in pursuit of a booty call in the worst way. If there has been no physical chemistry between the two of you yet (hand holding, a kiss) then why on earth would he think you'd want to hop in the sack for an all-nighter?
Toss him on his ear...unless you want to be his booty call. You have free will and it's your call. | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:48:33 PM | | I agree with what everyone else has said. Cut your losses and move on. You deserve better. | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/14/2008 4:21:54 PM | | Sounds like he's after only one thing...sex. When they start talking about spending the night so soon, even before you even kissed, they're only out to get laid. If you give in to his request, don't count on seeing him again anytime soon. Unless it's to spend the night and make a quick exit in the morning again. | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:23:11 PM | I'm very surprised you agreed to meet him if he's already inviting himself into you bed before laying eyes on you. Guaranteed this guy will assume showing up for a 2nd date is total approval of his plan to bed you. Guaranteed he will be pawing you over dinner, perhaps even rushing you through it, or changing the venue from Red Lobster to Taco Bell in order to self-serve himself even faster.
Almost guaranteed he will rifle your office drawers and purse the moment he's in your home and your back is turned. This man is all about take-take-take and he will take your jewels, your cash out of the cookie jar, your TV remote, and anything else he can slip into his knapsack.
Anyone that pushy is not going to make love to you. Rape is the more accurate term. | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:18:12 PM | | I would never have sex with a guy if he hasn't even made an effort to be romantic, hold hands and get to know me .. a lot. What is your gut telling you? I bet your answer is right there. | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:20:33 PM | How long before you 'know'? I would think that it would be right smack up in front of your face.....wouldn't be able to miss it.....that is, if it's the right person. You wouldn't need to wonder if or when.
I'd be out of there quick given his approach to spending the night with you...the first time was during your first IM chat! Whoa! What's up with that? And you agreed to see him?????? I'd be borrowing Red Cassandra's Man Bat for this one. | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:28:49 AM |
This is the 3rd time this person has invited himself to spend the night, 1st time during our first IM chat, 2nd time before we met, and now in an email after I agreed to see him a second time.
You are being invaded. The guy isn't listening to you at all; he's just barging in. If you tolerate that, you will reap an abundance of it. | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:35:51 AM | You know, I've got to give the guy credit for being upfront with you. He has told you right out of the gate, what's uppermost on his mind and that is to have sex. And, it seems "anyone" will do, since he broached the subject prior to even meeting with you in person. What were you thinking by meeting him?
On the other hand, there are guys on the internet, who pretend that they're looking for a relationship when they're merely trolling for sex ONLY. These deceptive individuals usually wait until after an initial meeting before showing their true agenda.
Neither type of guy appeals to me. | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:41:47 AM | | Give the guy credit for trying to make up for your obvious lack of hospitality. Should he have had to ask in the first place? I know that when I meet a woman or send her an email it will trigger in her an unstoppable sexual desire to surrender. But at the same time she may well be afraid of such strong passion within herself, and, out of fright, be frozen, unable to make the invitation, in awe of the mighty lust she fears will carry her away on a river of pleasure to leave her on who knows what sand bar of satisfaction. On her behalf then I might invite myself, once. He did it three times so my guess is you seemed really taken with him. | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:19:22 AM | | I think that he needs to wait until YOU invite him....and does the first time (if you get that far), have to be at YOUR place??? What about HIS place? Or NEUTRAL territory? | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/15/2008 2:09:55 PM |
What do you all think?
I think if you need to ask, then the time isn't right.
If you feel you can't keep your hands off of him, that would be the right time...
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/15/2008 2:11:19 PM |
This is the 3rd time this person has invited himself to spend the night, 1st time during our first IM chat
And you kept on chatting on IM after he propositioned you? Why would you do this? | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/15/2008 2:44:49 PM | | This happened to friend of mine. Her ex-bf dumped her couple weeks ago citing he had "issues" he had to deal with. She stayed friendly with him and they went hiking or something, went back to her place where they both sat on couch and she had been telling of a scary situation she just had to deal with from ex-bf from way back last summer. She just had to get a restraining order because he had started threatening her and trying to extort sex from her. This guy never hugged her or gave her any sympathy and then this guy says he wants to spend the night because it was late and it was couple hours back to his house. She said sure sleep on the couch, this guy says no I want to sleep in your bed with you. She said she was very good at not laughing at him but that no that wasn't going to happen, he left LOL. I have always felt it is the woman who should invite if it's her place. | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:16:04 PM | Too funny Mr internet 
Thanks everybody for your comments. I really needed to share this experience. I needed to hear what I've been telling myself, I guess.
When I got his new self invitation, I was bothered, and disgusted by his pressering. I hate having to tell people to take leap, but if pushed I will.
I decided right away I wouldn't respond to him anymore and just ignore him. But then I began to think I should tell him something to call it off rather than just ignoring him, like a copout. That's when I decided to post to see if maybe I was over-reacting or reading into this more than there was. I see I wasn't. LOL
Obviously, the guy is way out of line. I don't feel there's any chemistry between us, not on my side, but he could have become an interesting acquaintance, if he weren't so "single-minded".
Best not to even reply and move on.
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:56:20 PM |
This is the 3rd time this person has invited himself to spend the night, 1st time during our first IM chat, 2nd time before we met, and now in an email after I agreed to see him a second time.
The first time, I laughed it off , the second time, I told him, we hadn't even met, for heavens sake, I though he got it, but now he invites himself overnight again as part of the second meeting, saying I should be ok with that because now I know him. Well...
It seems to me like he's gone without for too long and needs a fix with the first warm bod? Sounds too desperate.
And anyway I don't know if I want to spend that much time with him yet or be that intimate. We haven't even held hands, let alone kissed.
What do you all think?
I think I'm confused about this one. Exactly how does one invite themselves into your home? Did you mean request instead of invite? | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:37:00 PM | | Repeat after me ............................................. BOOTY CALL -------HIT N RUN | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:59:12 PM | | Don't do anything that you feel 'uncomfortable' with. Don't feel 'obliged' ....... why the hell should you. This guy's looking for an 'easy lay' ...... you're worth more. | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:01:50 PM | I'd probably not have talked to him anymore. ...unless I was interested in inviting him over.
It's clear to me he expects to spend the night..soon as possible. If that's not what you want..quit talkin to him. | |
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| Inviting self over night
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:36:15 PM | | He probably just wanted to play with the set on your chest because he was bored. I mean play with your chess set on your new board. | |
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