| Simple Thread Review Request
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:09:54 PM | Hi All,
I'm new to the POF community and I'd like to see what you guys of what I came up with.
Specifically:
I don't really like my main profile pic, but it's the only pic I have of me without glasses or a hat on as I look now. Would it be better to just go with another one?
Is the St. Pats day pic a turn off? I like the candidness of the shot, but I realize that I'm holding two beers. I've tried cropping it, but out of context it just looks weird.
Does the fact that I express a desire to change out of my established career make me appear unstable?
Thanks for your time and feedback!
Snu | |
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| Simple Thread Review Request
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:16:57 PM | | I really liked your profile, and would like to marry you. Well, maybe not marry....It was well written, lots of good info, nothing over the top or red flaggish. I think you will have luck attracting the sort of women you would like. I can't see anything to change, and even with the career thing, nothing in this profile screams unstable. Pics are okay, but for some reason, I couldn't see them all. I can't comment any further on the pictures, but if you happen to get a better main, by all means include it. Good luck. | |
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| Simple Thread Review Request
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:19:58 PM | Main pic is good composition but bad quality. But, it is the best one you have for main, so go with it.
I don't see a problem with St Pats shot. If you can't drink on that day, when can you? Besides, they look like sodas. Not green enough.
Likewise, I see no problems with career change. I say, though, move to high school. You will be able to satisfy both your desire to be a teacher and your knack for law enforcement.
It might be better to express woman section is second person. See if that flows more naturally. The idea is that you are talking to your potential match, so you are addressing her.
Otherwise, no suggestions. I don't think you date idea allows enough talk time, but on the other hand, if you are entertained by acts, that is good too. | |
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| Simple Thread Review Request
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:35:37 PM |
That is pretty good! The only thing I see is that you "cheated the ladies!" You told them what personality traits you like them to have. But you didn't share what yours are with them. AT LEAST TWO!
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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| Simple Thread Review Request
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:53:48 PM | Have you read some of the profiles on here. Yours is too formal imo. Too wordy in spots... like for instance
"I've lived in Southern CA the vast majority of my life. I love that when the conditions are right, I can surf and snowboard in the same weekend (where else in the US can you do that?). "
Could have more life. "I'm a south cali lifer. Surfing and snowboarding in the same weekend? Yes please! Jealous?"
"I'm a public school teacher and I enjoy it--the kids never fail to make me laugh, I get plenty of time off, and I get to feel like I'm making the world a better place. At the same time I don't like being inside all day and I don't feel challenged, so I'm thinking about going into Law Enforcement. "
WTF! You love kids... you enjoy your jobs... but now you're just going to up and change to law enforcement. This is a conundrum that I cannot tell you how to solve... and neither will a woman want to solve either.
"I'm overly curious (I'm taking an EMT course at a community college just cause and I'm a licensed pilot, once again, just cause). I know ridiculous amounts of trivia and accordingly my friends don't like to play Cranium with me. I love irony and any type of dry humor (especially British comedy). Acting goofy makes my days more entertaining (and this is why I teach middle school). I think Pac Man is the best video game ever made. An occasional practical joke is awesome, and I like competing at things that don't matter (like skeeball)."
You don't always have to start with "I" then go into a story. Start with a Story and stop being so proper. You read like a very boring book. You don't have to say you're into british comedy if you can bust out a monty python quote that everyone knows in order to describe some other thing you're talking about. You're spelling things out to much without letting people discover it. If you're a joker, tell a story about the best joke you've ever pulled on someone.
And plain and boring are basically what I'm going to say about the rest of your profile. Your first date shouldn't go into so much detail about how much you hate dinners and a movie. The whole point is to get the woman licking her chops, wanting to experience something that she can see and visualize. Again, stop being so formal, why must you propose a comedy club. Start with "Comedy clubs, if you'd like to see a man cry!" You don't need to explain why a comedy club is perfect. You said comedy club without being funny... that's not good.
Oh, and you're going way over the top with this competitive bit.
Words of advice... a girl needs to visualize... she needs to see something that she is passionate about and has no choice but to reply. You need to make the girl want to speak up and yell at you or laugh at you, or get buck nasty with you.
But hey, at least you have good looks ;) | |
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| Simple Thread Review Request
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:10:17 PM |
I really liked your profile, and would like to marry you. Well, maybe not marry
Nursinggrl-- Lol, I got what you meant. Thank you for the compliment :)
Yevgeny-- I tried it in second tense, it sounded like commands. Thanks for the other input, I'll leave the pics the same until I can get a higher quality main.
The only thing I see is that you "cheated the ladies!"
OFCB- Well put! I added a serious section. I'm not sure if I like cause I feel conceited putting it there.
Anyone want to comment on it?
"The Serious
Well I'm very compassionate, I usually root for the underdog and I like to help the kids I teach find meaning in their problems so they can learn from them. I love my family and I hope to start my own in the future. I'm pretty open as far as communication goes, if you ask me I'll tell you what I'm thinking."
NateDiesal-- Point taken. I just gotta think a while how to revise it and still have it be representative of me.
Thanks all! | |
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| Simple Thread Review Request
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:16:04 PM | I liked it. The St. Patrick's Day pic wasn't bad, it's just hard to see what you look like with a hat AND sunglasses on.
I agree that you should marry nursinggrl. I'll pay for the flowers. | |
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