| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:31:33 PM | After careful consideration and prodding by certain (gender unspecified female) individuals, who have an active debate running in e-mail on this topic, and I being the only (gender unspecified male) individual with the genetic power to post a question in Ask A Girl due to their genetic lack of power to post a question in Ask A Girl, I ask you this question:
How many email/conversations do people usually have at the same time... As in you start emailing with person, you cannot meet right away, but you have serious convo going on (much like I imagine you and insert a name here had before the first meeting), do you still email with bunch of other people, or do you focus? And if you email with others as well, is it at the same level of involvement?
This question is floating around the e-mails, so please, let's take it public and all join in The Ultimate NG Dilemna... Just couldn't resist the NG part....
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:35:09 PM | | I rarely email anyone more than twice, unless it's forum related, I open up my msn, and chat with whoever I want whenever I want, or don't whenever I don't want to. | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:45:47 PM | Awwwwwww, and here I thought maybe I could throw some more popcorn!
Regardless of the fact that I might not be able to meet them right away, If I'm interested in somebody, they get all my attention. I have a hard time keeping my own name straight let alone anyone elses.. | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:49:57 PM | | Tee... You eat the popcorn and throw Cheeto's so the Pot Heads will get excersise picking 'em up... | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:05:36 PM | This question is floating around the e-mails
No-one asked me...*feels left out* 
How many email/conversations do people usually have at the same time...
About 20,000....but only ONE of them will be with a man Im corresponding with on more than a friendship level to a possible meet.
As in you start emailing with person, you cannot meet right away, but you have serious convo going on (much like I imagine you and insert a name here had before the first meeting), do you still email with bunch of other people, or do you focus?
I focus...Im not interested in multiple men and I know what I like and know not to jeopardise it by getting involved with other men or using people or stringing people along as backups after I see where the "first guy" is going.
IF I was to organise meeting a guy from the net (have before but only for friendship)
...then we would have spent a reasonable amount of time, emailing, chatting, webcamming and telephoning.
My loyalty lies with that person til the meet.
Im not talking years...but I wont meet people who are effectively strangers just for the sake of it.
Its not that fricken difficult keep your legs together/d!ck in your pants or to knock other people back while you wait a month to meet somone you should clearly have a connection with. <<< and if you dont have that...wtf would you meet them for anyway?
*sniffs TDZ*...yup yup...thats testosterone | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:16:43 PM | Well TDZ, what I like to do is create one generic e-mail that is chatty and flirty, then I send it out to a BCC mailing list of about 50, depending on week.
It's all about volume baby. Cast a wide net you get more fish. | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:38:43 PM | Well done TDZ, I saw the title and came a runnin' only to be stopped in my highheeled tracks. ~shakes your hand~ Thought I was gonna have to bang my head on my desk and suffer yet another head injury from doing so. "NG" thread indeed!! You slippery devil you.
Anyway, I only correspond with one at a time and I place all of my focus on this. I wouldn't have even begun a conversation with him if he hadn't caught my attention to begin with and done so in way, that was so utterly witty and intelligent. These are few and far between.
If we cannot meet fairly quickly I still focus as the conversation continues. I have had one that lasted on basically IM (with phone/email also) for a month and he kept my attention with every word, (this is not easy to accomplish either) every day of that month. Like I said, few and far between. I did not talk or correspond with any others.
Edit to Add: This does not count forum friends or others in the strictly "friend zone".
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:50:55 PM | If I am interesting in developing a relationship with someone, they are the only one who I email in that context.
Everyone else is friend only. Such as my friends from the forums, or someone who emailed me about my profile, but for whatever reason (distance, etc) isn't an option as a potential relationship, but we enjoy chatting. | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:54:21 PM | If you are talking just guys I chat with and have no expectation of anything romantic...I will correspond with as many as there are...
Or the guys who are just my friends...or too far away for them...
If I am interested romantically in someone, I will give him precedence over anyone else as far as time and amount..
I will not focus exclusively on someone until there appears to be genuine interest on both sides, and the expectation of meeting, and seeing where it goes...
My problem has been too many guys I have chatted or emailed with aren't interested in actually meeting, or are way to slow to move forward? So, if I still like talking to them, I will, but, I won't count out other guys that happen along..
Until I find one that seems to be serious about actually meeting, dating, etc..I'm not willing to tie up my social life for months?
I am not a serial dater...but, to me, until I find one that makes it to a date, and then past only one date...I'm open to all possibilities...
I have no problem with exclusivity once it gets to the stage where there is serious intent...
Edit: I hate to look like naive or dumb..but , what is the reference to NG? I must be a nerd, because the first thing that came to my mind is National Geopgraphic?..lol...
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:01:33 PM | NG= Nice Guy/Girl
A term used in the forums to refer to men and women who come into the forums and start threads complaining about lack of e-mails/dates/disappearing people/responses and so on. These are not to be confused with genuinely Nice People. The term is not in any way a positive here on POF. The reason we call them NG's (Nice Guys and Nice Girls) is because they always state what a Nice Guy/Girl they are in the OP, and when people disagree with them they spew forth a venmous tirade of insults. Thus the term NG was coined to reference them. | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:13:04 PM | | Thank you TDZ..I am , of course, aware of the nice person syndrome..but, I must have been out of the room when the the term NG was coined?..lol...Or, I'm old, it's late, I'm tired..and my brain just didn't make the connection?..giggle... | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:20:16 PM | No way are you a nerd Zangie! NG is the catch all for those "Nice" whiners out there posting threads and/or agruing against common sense with you in the forums. You've seen them.
OK TDZ, being a one man woman when I find someone I am interested in, that poor sucker is the center of my attention. I'll still answer emails from other men until I know the object of my desire is interested in return. I've learned that just because I'm interested doesn't mean it's recipicated. Darn. | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:25:42 PM | You are specifically referring to emailing back and forth with guys I'd consider dating, but have not met, is that correct?
I consider that akin to "flirting", like, say, flirting in a bar with someone (not that I go to bars, but you get the point).
If I am available, completely unattached, and "looking", I"ll "flirt", aka email back and forth with as many as happen to catch my eye or email me until we lose interest w/each other or progress to wanting to meet.
If I meet one of them and think it will lead to "dating", then I will ease off of the others just a bit to see what happens. If dating ensues, then I will stop "flirting" with other guys (but not by disappearing w/no explanation).
If the guys are strictly friends then I will keep talking to them.
And...my profile BTW clearly says "not looking/not single" and "currently seeing someone" so unattached POF males please don't see this as an invitation! I'm not flirting w/anyone these days except my guy!!!!! And I'm way too hooked on him to have wandering eyes.
Kaylie | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:29:19 PM |
If I am available, completely unattached, and "looking", I"ll "flirt", aka email back and forth with as many as happen to catch my eye or email me until we lose interest w/each other or progress to wanting to meet.
If I meet one of them and think it will lead to "dating", then I will ease off of the others just a bit to see what happens. If dating ensues, then I will stop "flirting" with other guys (but not by disappearing w/no explanation).
If the guys are strictly friends then I will keep talking to them.
Yep! Exactly.  | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/15/2008 1:15:02 AM | My mother always said...Quirky, you can't put all your eggs in one basket....
If someone sends me an email and it is someone actually interested in perhaps meeting someday as a dating situation, then eventually I will become exclusive and focus just on them and see where it can go(this does not apply to people in friends only category)But, there are a lot of factors involved to get to that point and if they are disclosed in this venue, then you have to hand over your youngest child...or your credit card account number... | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:50:37 PM | "If I am available, completely unattached, and "looking", I"ll "flirt", aka email back and forth with as many as happen to catch my eye or email me until we lose interest w/each other or progress to wanting to meet.
If I meet one of them and think it will lead to "dating", then I will ease off of the others just a bit to see what happens. If dating ensues, then I will stop "flirting" with other guys (but not by disappearing w/no explanation)."
I'm with Kaylie...in fact I currently have that situation arising as I haven't had the "final" talk with my guy. I call myself a "serial monogamist" - have never dated more than one guy at a time. But, as I believe things may not be salvageable, I don't have a problem having email/IM conversations with other guys until I stop being stood up and can have the discussion I need to have.
P.S. How in the heck do I get the Cut 'n Paste to "block" like some of you do? I've looked everywhere but can't figure it out - dumb, blond that I am! | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:15:11 PM |
was a question posed? if so, would someone please paraphrase it?
Not now ! I'm busy with 17 Email conversations. | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:18:10 PM | I'm an email whore. But then, my entire life is done by email. I'm probably just a figment of your imagination anyway.
.... I wouldn't do that,.... Dave.....
(For those that don't get the referece......No, I know no one's name here....if someone's name is Dave, that's purely coincidence.) | |
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| The Ultimate NG dilemna....
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:20:58 PM | Not now ! I'm busy with 17 Email conversations. ^^^ And this is just *esad* on a slowwwww day. Isn't it? | |
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