| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:51:14 PM | I did a search for this question and didn't see anything that was what I wondering.
I met my STBX online via e-mail, and while I would write long e-mails, he would reply with short ones. I figured he was bored, so I told him he didn't have to reply if he didn't want to. Turned out he did like me, he just didn't like to type so we switched to the phone.
Fast forward... now, I'm e-mailing a couple of people, one I am rather interested in. He seemed really intrigued at first and invited me to write back. However, in later e-mails, they seem a bit less descriptive and the most recent one closed with a phrase that didn't specifically invite a reply.
How do you know if someone has lost interest or not? Should I just reply until specifically ignored? It's still a relatively long e-mail and I have things I'd like to say in reply. | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:21:13 PM | | I usually take not responding as a hint. That's about it for me... unless someone actually told me. Not asking questions tells me not very interested but I'll still try to strike something up. Usually that's when I get nothing back, so it's made clear. | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 12:01:09 AM | | I go by whether people ask questions or not as to whether they want a reply. If it's a short email and there are no questions asked then I assume they aren't interested in a response. Also, an increasing delay before they respond is a fair sign of lack of interest in talking with you. When you're both emailing regularly beyond the word limit that the PoF emailer allows, then you have a good conversation going, in my opinion. As you say, many people just don't like typing, but if that is the case, it'd be sensible of them to suggest an alternative way to chat, if they have any interest in you. If they don't, I think you can assume: not interested. | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 12:30:26 AM | | If they're responding with a lame 1 sentence or less answer, are they worth talking to regardless of if they wanna talk to you or not? Not a very interesting individual I wouldn't say... | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 12:45:17 AM | I find that a person is interested in you when they answer questions quite descriptively and when you know from what they write that they read your letters and have taken an interest in your profile.
I think that when you give someone an open ended question and it is brief then it is a worry and if a person seems to be writing shorter responses as time goes on then they probably are losing interest in you. I think the bottom line is that when a person is interested you can see it in the effort that they are making to get to know you, you have common interests, and you can sense that they are mentally stimulated by your emails! If a person is not sounding interested in emails then what hope is there of having an enjoyable date with them. I guess maybe some people get many emails and that has an effect too but im sure they make the time when someone catches there interest! | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 2:29:12 AM | considering i have a lot on my profile so i don't have to tell the basics a long message would make me wonder if a guy even read my profile cause i'm not repeating what is on it!!!
its a profile with detail for a reason....to read and not forget
since i don't send messages back and forth game i just do the msn thing instead right away and if i get bored i stop messaging them as much and prob the same for some of the guys on my msn....once they don't really say much to me anymore i get the hint there not interested anymore and move on | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:05:04 AM |
How do you know if someone has lost interest or not?
When you see someone "e-mailing a couple of people"!
Short emails can be because they are lazy, and could be because they are not interested, sometimes they can be so use to IM sessions and chat sites that they are conditioned into treating emails the same way.
If you want longer replies, my encouragement would be to ask them questions, make it about them in your emails also.
If they send short replies then, then are they a good communicator (which helps in any form of relationship) and if you are still not sure after several attempts, then just tell them straight out that you noticed all their replies were short and that you were wondering wh0.. they will either give you an answer which results in short emails remaining (which is when you ask yourself if this is something you want to continue with) or they will pick up their game and write longer ones so not to lose your interest. | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:28:29 AM | Subboy77 has a point. I have written to women who within a very short space of time want me to join them on MSN. I can’t stand MSN. Conversation degenerates into short disjoined sentences, often with TXT speak, which is also annoying.
When I decline, the POF mail stops dead.
No big deal really, I’m looking for some one with a longer attention span than constant TXT drivel. Someone who can actually communicate and hold a varied conversation.
Returning to the question in the post, sometimes people are really busy outside POF, sometimes they are considering a response or even composing a long response and yes, sometimes they discover something about you that they don’t really like at all, but how do they then let you down gently?
Most people are cowards and would rather avoid such situations by not replying and hoping you get the hint.
Simplest solution – ASK!
“Hi John, just wondering if you’re busy, haven’t heard back, are you Okay?”
No reply to that and I think you know where you stand. | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:39:12 AM | | idduno I dont get on line all that much I answer as many as I can and blow off the lame ones that say what they want in a sentence or 2. Ive had some that write so much about nothing and I wonder why. | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:19:32 AM |
Fast forward... now, I'm e-mailing a couple of people, one I am rather interested in. He seemed really intrigued at first and invited me to write back. However, in later e-mails, they seem a bit less descriptive and the most recent one closed with a phrase that didn't specifically invite a reply.
Maybe he sees the posts in your profile where you talk about emailing a few people and lost interest. | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:32:27 AM | You assumed your STBX wasn't interested when he started giving you shorter replies.
Turns out he just wasn't much of a typist.
Now you're assuming again.
Have you learned nothing?
ASK HIM! What is so tedious about asking people things straight out???
Is it really easier to come here and ask the minions of the Forum world what they think?
If A wants to know what B is doing, A needs to ask B what they're doing!
"Hey John, I'm wondering if you'd rather talk on the phone, instead of having to type long
responses back to me? It would be nice to hear your voice....." | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:36:22 AM | | Maybe it's time to move it to the phone? Invite him to give you his phone number, then(if your worried about it) you can block your number from being traced. I can't remeber how to do it...where I am you press*67 or something before you dial the number, and it blocks your number from being seen. Call your phone company and ask them. | |
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4rum
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Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 13 | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:57:29 AM | | Men have short attention spans unless you are talking beer or sports. The phone is better. If we could write really well, we would be famous authors and make a lot more money. | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:30:46 AM | | Stop texting and start calling and meeting. Texting is lame! And cn ruin a rleationship. id on;t even owna cell phone ebcuase I find the damn things annoying ebcuase people just won't get off the damn phone. If somone likes you they will message you back. I prefer to tlk ont he phone. | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:50:56 AM | | There's only so far one can go with e-mail until you get to the point where you decide if you want an e-mail buddy or if you want to meet in person. With e-mails sometimes the only benefit is typing practice. He might have lost interest in e-mails and not in meeting you. When in doubt, ask pertinent questions and make pertinent comments. Like "I am interested in meeting you. How do you feel about that?" | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 10:01:36 AM |
Now you're assuming again.
Have you learned nothing?
ASK HIM! What is so tedious about asking people things straight out???
OMG...don't tell them that..!
You are going to be responsible for wiping out almost all Comedy and Drama on TV
by calling attention to the fact that most plots are based on jumping quickly to the stupidest assumption.....
Funny thing is, I often berate the shoddy writing quality by saying that such stupid misunderstandings would never happen in real lfe....
...because people would just simply ask questions and clear the whole thing up in a nano-second.....
The Mushroom hangs it's cap in shame for once again committing the unforgivable sin of underestimating human stupidity... | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 10:38:48 AM |
I am interested in meeting you. How do you feel about that?
lol... would you really say THAT?
how about...
"I'm so done with this typing crap... let's meet and get the disappointment over with". | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 10:58:15 AM |
lol... would you really say THAT?  Janet, stop using my own words against me DAMMIT! 
Geez I not suggesting these EXACT words. I'd come up with something creative like
"All of our correspondences have whet my interest in meeting you. I hope we can do that soon. Let's meet at (place mentioned in previous e-mails that the other person likes) sometime soon." | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 12:42:48 PM | I'm surprised that a couple people have mentioned that e-mailing two people at once is a problem. Since when does exchanging a few e-mails over a less than a week constitute a long term, exclusive relationship? I am just getting to know a couple people to see if I do want to keep talking. Also, I am looking for friendship first as a strong basis for a future relationship, so it's not like there should be any expectations.
For the record, I did ask this person and leave him an out in case he was bored. His last reply was relatively long and sent quickly, but I just didn't get the same vibe. We'll see what happens =) | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 1:38:43 PM | | I guess if they don't ask about you, I mean if you are asking questions and they are just coming back with responses and not expanding much or asking anything in return. Although, it seems that even girls who might be interested in you are like this, even on sites like this. Too much hardwork, just wanting you to ask them questions the whole time. Becomes very tiresome. | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 1:50:06 PM |
Too much hardwork, just wanting you to ask them questions the whole time.
If someone answers your question and doesn't ask something back or instigate further conversation, let it go. They really DON'T want you to keep doing this. | |
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| How to know when someone is bored with your replies
Posted: 5/15/2008 2:24:27 PM | To Original Poster.. thats easy to answer! Basically you can tell they are bored is when they stop replying back. They write back/reply for awhile at least anyways making you think they wanna keep the communication going. Then it gets to be like they dont answer for a month or so. Which inturn they just stop replying period. Oh yeah, they will continue to read your emails and all that but just dont take the time to write back. It starts to get obvious!
Now, likeothers are saying, itvery well COULD be that they are replying to other people too and have to many to answer. Yeah THAT COULD be logical. But the way I see it, if they dont take the time to reply then they arent really that much of a friend. So at that point, I just say screw it and get on with life. :o) Thats what I do! It sint any spilt milk that you have to cry over! (thats only a figure of speech!!) WELL you knwo what i mean!! :) | |
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