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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:00:52 PM | I know our parents thought they had it tough....after all, most of us born in the 50's and 60's were quite a rebellious crowd.....anti-war demonstrations, concerts, tube tops, hiphuggers, Twiggy, etc. I know MY parents gave up hope!
But the teens and young people today aren't just rebellious, they're a little sinister.
Guns in schools? Teens shooting? Auto theft? And, all sorts of disrespecting, I don't care, and 'it's all about me' behaviour.
Are those of us who are parents partly to blame? (I can see a rousing chorus of 'NOT ME!' inserted here, LOL)
How much have broken homes affected our young?
How many parents try to make up in material goods what the child actually lacks in affection, out of guilt for their lack of time, or the loss of another full-time parent?
How much have 'deadbeat' dads or moms affected our kids?
How much has 'the welfare syndrome' become a way of life?
Kids have cell-phones....do you trust them automatically when they say where they are?
Do you consider youself a responsible parent? What do you consider 'responsible'?
How much is our 'example' to blame?
I really think a lot of kids today, whatever the circumstances, have developed a frightening attitude in regard to other people's lives or property. What are your suggestions that might improve things? | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:22:44 PM | It is sinister Linda. My own belief lays blame on the family or lack of. That doesn't mean I'm saying its parents fault either, we cant afford to stay at home any more like moms were able to back when. But family doesnt exist like it used to. gme are the days of coming home to mom and milk and cookies, Dad coming home two hours later for inner and then everyone sitting around the table for board games or a little TV. Gone is both parents these days also, and that can't be helped either. It's sad, and what is the answer? I just don't know. But I can tell you this...it reflects in the kind of students I get these days. we now practice a drill for a "critical incident and LOCK DOWN" in our school, gone are the days of just tornadoes and fire drills. | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:36:42 PM | LHL, this is a GREAT topic. A lot in depth and a lot of unanswered questions, and this subject provokes us older people to do some soul searching.
What I notice is how younger folks act in public. Its the general attitude of how they treat others. Some older teens are extremely helpful and very respectful toward their elders. Others would get in your face if you got in their way. Thats very sad because some level of inner anger will eventually bubble up to the surface in some form.
We wonder what drives kids to commit murder, plan attacks at school, bully other kids to the pulp, and the list goes on. Is our country as a whole angry? It seems so, and if we look at our own actions as parents, our kids role model us. The country seems nuts sometimes. Too much news, too much money, too many freedoms, to many malls, too many cars, .... its a lot different than when we were kids.
Well, maybe other people have some thoughts, I think as a Dad myself, its a source of pride to be able to have my daughter successful and health, and after all these years, see her conduct her life productively. Its a lucky thing, but surely didn't come easy. We had some tough love things face us, to get there. But again, I'm thankful. you always wonder what you would do different. | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:41:46 PM | | No, I didn't forget yma... there's a lot of things kids do today, my childhood was growing up on a farm, I had to work as a kid. It didn't hurt. I didn't have an IPOD, Nintendo, Nikes, and all the other stuff... I did have a single speed 26" bike that got rode all over the country.... and admittedly, I did fly down the hills! | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:10:04 PM | | Being a single parent, this is a subject that's pretty personal to me. I think it's the lack of family values, and lack of religion perhaps. I was raised Catholic but don't practice anymore. I tried to instill some of that in my kids as they were growing up but I was doing it alone, and it was very hard to keep it going. I consider myself lucky that my kids turned out the way they have. It could be so much worse. | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:17:34 PM | | Pst, yma...... Don't tell anyone, but I was messing with you guys too in that driving too fast forum too.... But, i must say, I did send a letter to National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.... I can't wait to hear back. We can teach our kids to drive slower can't we? | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/15/2008 7:09:23 PM | Perhaps if people taught kids a love for the outdoors at an early age
they would learn to respect nature along with all animals and insects.
Once that foundation is built it can be used to get kids to respect humans
-all kinds, all shapes, all colors, all ethnic backgrounds, etc.
Just because an animal acts different than you do doesn't mean it's bad,
it just happens to be different, that's all, period.
Being outside teaches kids how things interact, cause & effect, etc.
The television and video games are not capable of impressing these concepts on kids. | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/15/2008 7:48:26 PM | | one day my son yelled at me and asked why "i" broke up the family. his dad had told him i was the one that asked for the divorce. i told my son i ended a bad situation. i asked him would you rather live in a broken home or be from a broken home? as my sons get older they really are noticing what i've done for them. i never disrespect their father to them. i never say nasty things. sure, on occasion if he was supposed to take them to a ball game and cancels, it is easy to get caught up in the moment and say a thing or two. it is more or less being upset that my kids got their hearts broken. i always encourage them to see their dad and to call. for years i tried to force their dad to see them, and it was exhausting. i seriously have a hard time wondering what went wrong. how does a man make a commitment to a family, have two beautiful sons, a nice wife, nice home, nice job, nice pets and decide that he'd rather seek comfort in a bottle and going out with his friends, gambling, drinking, womanizing? oh, yeah, and in the end he was bipolar. and in case you are wondering, this is not a putdown on men. just an honest question. so i've done the best i can with my sons, and i think i've done a great job. i can't change the past, but i can sure make sure that my kids have a good future. i would be thrilled to pieces if their dad would be involved in their lives teaching them to be men. their dad is successful and extremely bright. i hope one day before it's too late he wakes up and says, my god, what have i done with my life? | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:04:56 PM | | Take comfort that kids grow up and know who will be there for them. The one that wasn't there will be the loser. My daughter is raising her son pretty much alone, and that's a good thing, since the father is less than desirable. But, if he only know he was missing something so precious. | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/15/2008 11:03:17 PM | | I don't know if it is tv, the educational system or what, but somehow a generation of ultra-sensitive clones have been born. They are like sheep waiting to be led to slaughter. The violent behavior that sometimes explodes is a result of rebelling against a system that taught them not to rebell. I am halfway serious about this. My generation would do or say anything and not care who we offended. (Not saying that this is always appropriate). My generation rebelled against what the media (the establishment) told us was right. The current young generation doesn't make a move without the media telling them what is right or wrong. We are doomed. | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:03:02 AM | RDtoo...I don't understand what you are saying, although I have reread your post several times. Can you explain it clearer to me? I'm just not getting it. I am your generation and while i was a wild little thing in the day...I knew where to draw the line or my dad would draw it for me...ouch!
My kids, ...and I have two generations which is quite weird,.. the first two are 31 and 28 and the second two are 15 and 9,... don't rely on the media to tell them what to do, luckily they learned right from wrong from me. But it IS HARD to do without a man in the house...being single mom is so difficult!!!!
I instilled MrH20's idea into them because that is how I was raised...I was blessed to have my mom home until I was almost grown and I didnt go to work til my oldest two were older nd then I worked only while they were in school so they learned the fun of playing outdoors, riding bikes, building forts, looking for bugs, playing army (oh yes with toy guns dont get me started with that) riding minibikes and go carts, and TV held no facination. That's how it is with my youngest two also. Give them a hammer, some nails and a couple pieces of scrap wood and they are happy for hours!
So I guess I am asking, what do you mean the media tells them what to do? surely it doesnt tell them to become gangs, do drugs, attack people, be rude and disrespectful.
Did anyone see the news this morning? A city bus driver was attacked by a gangster who hopped his bus in broad daylight and beat him up for two blocks!!!! I fear for our chidren, I fear for our youth...where is family? And yes, Susie...where is religion, I am with you, I was raised catholic but didnt follow thru with my kids but tried to teach them what I know. Two go to church, #2 and #3...but being single and doing it all when it's a two person job to raise a family...I'm exhausted, no excuse I know | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:01:03 AM | I am a single parent and have done it on my own since day one. His dad wasn't in his life till he was like five, I didn't start getting support till a couple of years ago. It's sad to see so many use their kids as weapons, you can't see him or you can't see her. They are kids and that is their parent, good bad or indifferent.
Even in a two parent household, most aren't home raising their kids, schools are, daycares are because like someone else said, now a days BOTH parents have to work to survive and then the parents that aren't working and trying to find work, there are alot of stress added to the mix as well. It makes you wonder, is it going to get even worse say ten years from now?
I see how my son and his friends are, nothing like kids were when we were growing up. It's gotten worse from then till now, how's it going to be from now till they have kids of their own?
Over the years it's went from a three y/o with his shovel saying "mom, I help take care of you" to an eight y/o comming home saying "mom don't meet anyone else off the internet, I was watching something at grandmas and a girl went to meet a guy off the internet and he killed her." Then he tells my mom "If anyone tried to hurt my mom, I'd take a knife and I'd stab them." I then met someone and went out for a little while and things didn't work out. My son had become attached to this person and after we broke up he had asked me "Mom, don't you wish you still liked so&so....I do." Then as a teenage, something came up and I had asked him what will he do if I couldn't do anything and then the reply was "i"d put you in a nursing home, I'm not letting you ruin my life." then he pauses and says "I'm just kidding". Years go by and the kids grow up so fast.
Now we are moving due to the economy and he's very resentful of that. He doesn't want to leave his friends which is understandable. We try to teach our children the best we can and it's not an easy task. I know I am envious of some of the fathers that do get their children each time they are suppose to and have that bond with their child and do things with them. Mine tells my son this week that he can't get him cause he can barely afford gas this week to get back and forth to work, though he has gotten a little better than in the beginning.
I hear about how my son talks to other adults, his teachers. "I get blamed for something I didn't do mom, I can't help it, I'm going to go off." Teachers have a big task on their hands too. But you got your good ones and your bad ones as well. And with the economy getting worse and everything else, my fear is that things are only going to get worse.
Ok, I'll quit now, sorry I took up so much space... | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:14:52 AM | | Ok had to reply again. When we were growing up it was ok to spank and I remember in schools, you misbehaved, you got the paddle sometimes too. Now the kids use it against you, "I'm going to call social services on you". If you weren't paying attention in class, down came that ruler to say hey, pay attention. | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:23:43 AM | | Robitty, I am not quite sure of what I was trying to say either..lol. I do not have kids, so I may have a different take on them than others. What I do see when I talk to young people is kind of foreign to me. When I was younger the thing was to go against the mainstream. You wanted to be an individual. You wanted to make your own personal statement of individualism. Today, I see the opposite. Kids want to blend in, be part of the group and not make waves. The norm has always been style over substance, but the people I idolised when young I was attracted to because of style, but they also had substance. The Beatles for example. Today, the idols have style but no substance. Ok, I am getting too cosmic again. | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:59:24 AM | Oh yeah,,,some kids 'today' are just wayyyyy out of control and IMHO i think its a combination of alot of things, and the kids themselves (meaning his/her self esteem).
My brothers and i were basically raised by a single parent who worked 2 jobs and yes, we were left home alone ALOT, but in our case, we had extracurricular activities to keep us busy such as band, sports, girlscouts. etc... PLUS,,we knew we were loved.
I think self esteem plays a huge roll. You get kids who's parent(s) dont or cant play an active roll in their lives due to work schedules, so the kids tend to perhaps withdraw or become depressed or crave attention so they start hanging around with the wrong crowd to get that attention. Hell kids today are NOT like the way kids in my day were. Girls still played with dolls until at least our pre-teen years where now, girls at that age are having sex AND babies!! We had poster of 'good' teen idols on our walls like Shawn Cassidy. Todays kids have Marilyn Manson! LOL
Back then, we smoked a lil weed. Nowadays, these kids are doing drugs with names ive never even heard of. Back then, the 'drug pushers' would never sell to a kid. Nowadays, they look for the kids and even have the kids selling for them. Hey,,a lil cash in their pockets, they want more, then it just keeps escalating.
Guns: Damn,,kids back then didnt think to carry a gun. Nowadays, these kids can buy guns and/or know someone they can buy them from. Get a kid who is depressed, angry, overwhelmed and carrying a gun and look what happens....Shooting rampages all over the place.
I dont know. You cant blame the parents who HAVE to work in order to survive, but at the same time, those parents need to MAKE time to spend some good quality time with their kids. Boost their self esteem and make them feel wanted and loved. Granted, there are some parents out their who plain just dont give a sh*t what the kids are doing or where their kid is at.
Its sad. | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:36:53 AM | | As one idea, we could attempt to reverse the process by reprimanding games like Mortal Kombat. I saw an example of neighbor kids with ski masks and toy AK47's yesterday looking like terrorists running up and down everyone's yard. It even scared me. I believe we can as the baby boomer generation, organize and become a lobby (Parents for Our Children's Safety) and pressure Congress to remove these kind of games (teaching tools they are) from shelves and send them back to China where they belong. Also, when you watch shows like Leave it to Beaver on RTN network, the show may be boring by today's standards, but there is a simple learning message that comes at the end, for kids and parents. Don't ya just love Ward and June? Getting older has its merits. | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:55:53 AM | I always count myself blessed. Besides the typical teenager angst, my son and his group are really great kids, so far.. anything can happen with teenagers lol.
I work with abused/neglected kids, and kids who just generally get in trouble with the legal system. It’s never too late for kids. When we give up on them, they give up on themselves. It’s a different world, and their generation has changed accordingly. Sometimes we lose things with progress instead of gaining things. I think society is reaping what they have sown, and our kids are the ones paying the price, always at a cost we can’t afford.
Just my 10 cents, because 2 cents isn’t worth squat anymore. | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:30:25 AM | Well said YMA, society is paying the price. Actually if you have religious beliefs, its predicted that way. Best way is do the best you can for kids, don't give them everything but help them understand if you earn, you're rewarded...
Great comment from you(never give up) | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:36:15 PM | What about dating someone with kids and their discipline style is way different than yours?
It is very hard to not give your opinion. | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:45:50 PM | I too, a single parent, been doing so for 8 years now, let me tell you this.. people tell me all the time Im way to strict with my kids, and I just tell them. "To strict? Compared to what? Letting them run around at 2am on a school night... hang with the 'bad influences... break into people houses... smash out car windows?" Compared to what I say.. the non strict parent who doesnt even know if they kids are in school or not?
Society has neglected the family entirely. Its the parents responsibility to take action and not just say " well kids will be kids" BULLS***! Be a parent, be responsible. If I can do it.. a guy, then the rest of the world has NO excuse!
Yeah, its a touchy subject for me. But what can I say. My kids dont have cell phones, but they are spoiled... Tvs VCRs, DVD players, MP3 players, closets full of clothes that they are outgrowing before they wear half of them LoL (they grow like weeds) But at the same time, they actually work around the house too.. they all have chores to do each day that is required. But I dont give them allowances either. But if they ask for money and its something practical then I dish it out or if they have done things above and beyond what we of the norm.
Am I a great parent? No, am I a good parent? No.... Im JUST a parent doing my job.. I wont know if I did well or not till they have kids of their own. | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:37:15 PM | Sargo, you have my full support. I've been there too.
Did you ever see that old TV commercial with Carroll O'Conner (Archie Bunker)?
His son got into drugs, died. Carroll said parents should be in their kids business, make sure you know what they're doing. "Get in their face" he used to say. Kids are crying out for boundaries. If you as a parent don't show them, they'll wander. Look at the kid who recently killed both his parents. Think there was any anger in that family?
You go, Sargo! | |
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| 'What's the matter with kids today'?
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:52:08 PM | | I know! I raised my 2 boys alone, and now that they are grown, I think I did a pretty good job. They have manners and social skills. A guy I was seeing had older kids that had neither and it turned me off big time. | |
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