| What's right/wrong with my profile?
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:33:08 PM | I'm new here, and I've been very actively looking at other women's profiles, and sending them messages and adding them as favorites if I like what I find. I haven't had much reciprocation, though, and I wonder if it's because of my profile. So if any of you out there (and ladies in particular) can give me an idea of what I'm doing right or wrong, just chime in. Thanks!
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member7607928.htm | |
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| What's right/wrong with my profile?
Posted: 5/15/2008 7:03:38 PM | The headline too easily suggests either sexual or negative connotations, I suggest changing it.
A few more pictures would serve you well, especially a more visible body shot (a clothed body shot).
I suggest removing your "stats" at the beginning, they are unnecessary, and for the most part, redundant.
Your text is quite well written and flows very well.
Your negativity is so well written, it is almost difficult to criticise it, I must say, that is a first. But regardless, negative statements are not a good thing in your profile, no matter how well written it is. | |
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| What's right/wrong with my profile?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:12:45 PM | Hi Dan, my suggestions are as follows.
1.NAME: Dan
HEIGHT: 5'10"
WEIGHT: 200
HAIR: Dark blonde
EYES: Blue
COMPLEXION: Fair
SIGN: Scorpio (if you care to know) this REALLY needs to go. DELETE
2.I should mention, though, that good looks mean nothing if you have either a rotten personality, or no personality whatsoever. " I really think this is an assumed statement. I recommend DELETE
3. "Vapidity, ambiguity and apathy are major turn-offs. This is negative, although as said before, is said about as well as it can be. I suggest trying to use the "opposite" word for these if you can. And then say I find these traites attractive. It always better to be positive than negative. Passionate,and another one might cover APATHY.
4. "You be the judge of that" YES, they will. DELETE
5."If any of the above intrigues you at all, feel free to get in touch with me. (I also use some instant messengers.) You asking IS NOT going to encourage contact. DELETE
6."I have a healthy sex drive, but I also have self-control when needed. DELETE
7. All in all, not a bad profile, good job!
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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| What's right/wrong with my profile?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:26:30 PM | Calla gave you a great review - take her comments to heart.
I actually prefer pic #2 for your main - the quality is lesser, but the expression seems more genuine and welcoming. Did we mention it's good to smile?
You claim halfway through your first paragraph that you are not picky, but that's AFTER you've spent several sentences outlining exactly what your ideal woman looks like.
Consider re-arranging some of your information - tell the readers a bit about YOU before you launch into the "perfect woman" scenario.
As Calla said - remove the negativity from your profile. It's not attractive. Stick with who you are, and what you like/seek, rather than putting down others.
First date - try again. This is a space for a fun, light-hearted First Date idea, not a treatise on what the concept of first date/meeting has meant across time. Show us why it would be fun to spend time with you. It's not engraved in stone after all.
I think you have some good stuff in your profile, and if you served it up in a more appetizing way it could really work.
Good luck.
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| What's right/wrong with my profile?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:36:22 PM | I noticed, too, that you launched right into a description, right down to the hair, eye color clothes!, of the woman you'd like to meet. Dang, man. This is supposed to be about YOU, at least at first. And geez, at least ACT like you care about something other than looks & clothes!
And not about you in the sense of your height and weight and astrological sign, all of which we can see by previous info on your profile and/or your pics.
In one pic, you're standing outside a seafood shack called "Barnacles" in some baggy shorts and a t-shirt. If you really want to be the "I need a well-dressed woman" guy, you need to post pics of you in much nicer duds than that. | |
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| What's right/wrong with my profile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:05:14 AM | I thought you had more discriptive words of you and what you were looking for. Did you remove some words? I know the negatives are gone, but you should really try to replace them with positives. The ladies have given you some great advice, and I am in agreement.
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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