| Tennessee man accidentally killed via "kinky" bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/15/2008 11:56:24 PM | I read in a recent column of Savage Love, the sex advice columnist for the Georgia Straight, about a Tennessee man, James Bargy, who was accidentally asphyxiated after she left him bound & gagged for over 20 hours. This is the 3rd one I've read of in his column in recent months! I mean, WTF?!?
I'm not totally prudish or vanilla, but this is just too stupid to be believed! The wife has been charged with reckless homicide.
What do you think of this, POFer's? | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:42:34 AM | Bizarre. I am curious on the rest of the details...were they at home? Was she there during this 20 hours, or had she gone off somewhere?
The funniest part of this story though, I think, is what she has been charged with... Reckless Homicide... lol... uh...isn't any homicide "reckless" ??
Seems to me it is sort of like saying...He has been charged a
" Robbery Theft" or "Murder Causing Bodily Harm"
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:57:50 AM | It's even funnier when they do it to themselves.... autoerotic asphyxiation I believe is what it's called, they even threw it in an episode of CSI lol. I'd love to see the reactions of the cops/emt's who are first to arrive on one of those scenes....
EMT #1: "what happened in there Bill?"
EMT #2: "well, we got a dead guy in a chair with a bag over his head and his c@ck in his hand"
EMT #1: "well... at least he died with a smile on his face!" | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:56:33 AM | Asphyxiation play isn't for everyone; this proves it. If you don't know what you are doing and don't have certain precatiouns in place then DON'T DO IT!! Common sence people. 20 hours eems a bit excessive, but not unheard of. I have heard of many others, but then again, I stay informed. What makes it stupid?
Remember, common sence isn't very common. | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:00:54 AM | I dated one woman once who loved to be slightly strangled during intercourse. It gave her large orgasims for some reason. It made me think that maybe she had been raped at one time and really like it or something. I never asked her by but I thought it was really strange and bizarre and didn't do anything for me.
Ed | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:07:07 AM |
It made me think that maybe she had been raped at one time and really like it or something
Typically, women who have been raped do not get off on any kind of rape fantasy... it would be too traumatic for them.
However, there are many women and men who have the fantasy of being taken against their will.... as long as it is done by someone they trust while roleplaying.
Personally I don't understand the pleasure of being choked, but I do know there are many men and women that do enjoy this. To each their own..... | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:16:23 AM | Reckless Homicide... lol... uh...isn't any homicide "reckless" ?? - CandiPants
No, reckless homicide means that she caused his death by being careless. Ie: no intent nor pre-meditation. An accident,
for which she is legally/morally responsible & which she could have prevented. Different than murder, which implies intent.
And to answer your other question CandiPants, she went off to have sex with some guy she met on MySpace. A cuckhold
fetish, is where the guy gets arroused by the idea of his partner being unfaithful.
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I dated one woman once who loved to be slightly strangled during intercourse. It gave her large orgasms for some reason. -edster1224
I have heard of this, it's quite a common "kink", actually. The slight hypoxia (oxygen deprivation), gives you a tingly, light-
headed feeling, which is supposed to increase the intensity of the resulting orgasms. I don't know why & I have never read
any research on this. The only thing that makes it partly understandable to me, is when I was younger, my boyfriend used
to love having the windows open all the time , so I was constantly suffering (well, spring, summer & fall,anyway) from
severe asthma. When we would have sex (him on top), his weight combined with the asthma, made me nearly black out
from lack of air. But it was pretty good! LOL
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EDIT> I think Leanne, the "accidental" refers to his death, not to leaving him alone for so long. Apparently this was part of
their normal kink/fetish routine, which they did all the time. | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:02:56 PM | I'm curious how that happened too... I'm not crazy about using props or equipment when it comes to asphyxiation. Too much room for error and mistakes. Like forgetting you've got somebody in the dungeon and going to visit family out of town...
Prefer using a bare hand... or.. something else thats good for blocking a windpipe...
Typically, women who have been raped do not get off on any kind of rape fantasy... it would be too traumatic for them.
However, there are many women and men who have the fantasy of being taken against their will.... as long as it is done by someone they trust while roleplaying.
I think the choking fetish doesn't have anything to do with a rape fantasy, and I've done that with women who have been raped or in abusive relationships in the past... and they loved it too. Most were even more surprised by their own reaction to it than they were by me doing it to them... if they like it, they like it a LOT! And so far only one hasn't. She'd had surgery on her throat and the scar tissue made choking painful.
Personally I don't understand the pleasure of being choked, but I do know there are many men and women that do enjoy this. To each their own.....
I don't truly understand WHY they like it... but when I get a good reaction from it, it turns me on big time...
I think it might be a combination of the forcefulness/agressiveness and the physical side effects of diminished oxygen.
But it does have to come at the right time and in the right way. If I can stay focused... I don't cut off their air, just a firm grip and restrict it a little... high on the throat, right under her jaw. That also covers the arteries too... might also be part of it...
You never know Libra.... with the right person....  | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:08:43 PM | Ok Ed...I'll spill, I love slight choking, and it doesnt come from rape or abuse....Its the helpless feeling and then the intense orgasm that does it for me...I am a sub by nature, and this is very submissive, point I said slight though.
Yea this case seems like a homicide not just kink play. I sense another Stephen King novel from this, maybe a sequel to Gerald's Game. | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:56:13 PM | Oh, maaaaaaaaaan, it makes ya wonder what kind of wild and kinky things that some people will get into, when it comes to this type of thing.
Sheeeeeeeeeh, what is wrong with good ole love-making instead, ya can still explore with that, but, not to the degree of something like this, and besides, WHY, would ANYONE, want to knowingly, or unknowningly do somthing that is going to bring their lover, or boyfriend/girlfriend, husband, or wife pain, is beyound me, when they can bring them pleasure, sexual arousel, and fulfillment instead.
Oh well, to each their own, whether it be kinky, B&D, or whatever their fantasy is I guess. | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:01:46 PM | | Being asphyxiated is one of my fears....Not being able to breathe....But geeze I just read the thread and the woman who accidentally almost killed her man with a knife...and then this...Some people get there kicks in strange ways now days. Scary really how far people take these things. | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:17:17 PM | She'd had surgery on her throat and the scar tissue made choking painful.
- Von Erik
I am not surprised. I had a throat injury over 25 years ago, had some slight damage to
the windpipe, with scar tissue (no surgery) & I can't even wear t-shirts with a high neck. | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:53:59 AM | HELLOOOO???
This person never heard of a SAFE WORD or a SAFE SIGNAL.
When I get into something where I am going to be tied up or handcuffed--though it has been awhile--I always let my partner know my safe word or if gagged-my safe signal.
My safeword is ORANGE. My signal is to knock THREE times with either a free foot.
Simple.
That story is just survival of the fittest. . .natural selection. . .NOW if we could only NOT have all children wear headgear when they ride bikes. . .McDonalds would not have to have pictures on their registers. . . | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/17/2008 12:00:39 PM | | Oh my god I read this one too and I was JUST thinking about it this morning! Swear to god! Did you read the next week where a lady wrote in saying that she disagreed with his advice that there should always be some one within ear shot? Saying that she didn't think you could get pleasure from it without leaving her "slave" tied up and going out! She went on to say that she thought going out for like 2 days was extreme but the whole purpose of this excercise is to go somewhere and be with someone else all while "knowing her slave was trying futily to get loose? She likes to go to the movies first and then meet some random guy in a motel before going home so she thought that it was okay as long as you were only gone like 6 hours or something? All while the guy is tied up and ducked tape for all but a breathing whole? That is some F.CKED UP shit! I mean I don't consider myself too vanilla and I understand to each their own but putting someone in a dangerous position where they could very well die just to get your rocks off? That's just too much for me man. Too much | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/17/2008 12:12:20 PM |
HELLOOOO???
This person never heard of a SAFE WORD or a SAFE SIGNAL.
When I get into something where I am going to be tied up or handcuffed--though it has been awhile--I always let my partner know my safe word or if gagged-my safe signal.
My safeword is ORANGE. My signal is to knock THREE times with either a free foot.
Simple.
Okay so here's a example of someone who didn't read the column and has no real idea what we are talking about.
NO safe word or tapping is going to save you if your partner ties you up,gags you and then LEAVES the house. Thus leaving you completely alone while in this position for over 20 hours. | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/17/2008 12:26:20 PM | Ok.
Guess again.
The poster to refer to ME not knowing the facts is himself wrong.
What happened was simply a technical problem with the system not posting my entire response due to a problem with my computer or Internet Explorer.
To complete my posting I was also going to add that IF you play with someone you do not trust you also have to take additinal measures.
Have your partner allow you to hold a key/pocketknife/whatever in one hand or keep said object on a chain wrapped around your wrist.
NOW that you have my complete post you can see I have the SIMPLE answer here!' | |
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| Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 5/18/2008 4:11:30 PM | As said before, and I will say it again, it makes you wonder what state of mind these peoples minds are in, and how mentally stable ARE THEY.
ANYONE, with ANY common sense, would never, go for this type of thing, especially if their life is in danger.
Further more, if their mental thinking is not stable enough, with lack of oxygen going to the brain, can cause ever further brain damage, let alone suffocation.
Some people just DO NOT think, in this, and end up paying for it, and they have got no one else to blame, except fr themselves.
Ya take responsibility for your own actions. | |
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Goodbye Earl!!!!
