| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:44:15 AM | Ok, just curious, i live in a small town in Michigan where people bash nursing homes. and our current govenor(I know its not spelled right, sorry) Doesnt like nursing homes either. So i want everyones views. I know this is a dating website, but hey, they do have off topic!!
Did you know that only 5 % of people over the age of 85 live in a nursing home? So anyone who has family in a nursing home or if you work at one or used to or you have any view, let me lnow what you think.!! Thanks everyone!! | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:11:07 AM | I think very negatively about nursing homes in general and believe they were the major cause in my Mom's setback which led to her death.
It's not that the workers weren't doing their jobs but rather that they were over loaded and under staffed. Patients with special needs such as my Mom being a diabetic and needing particular foods served during certain time brackets, were out of luck. They did not provide proper care and also did not notice signs and/or symptoms of patients that should have alerted them to additional care that was needed. In our case my Mom developed an infection and they didn't even realize it. If the family hadn't been there on a daily basis, she wouldn't have been fed the right foods or had the infection looked at. The infection caused her to go back in the hospital and worsened her condition to a degree that she never recouped.
It wasn't just one nursing home either. When she was discharged from the hospital after the infection, she was placed in another one which also demonstrated the same lack of care for their patients. I did several surprise visits in the night and saw patients lying on the floor because they had slid out of their wheelchairs and no one had gotten around to lifting them up yet! Other patients who needed to be wheeled to a dining hall never got to eat! Patients developing pnuemonia over and over again who were forced to lie flat in their beds instead of having the chest raised every day and forcing them to move about during the day to decrease their chances of their lungs retaining fluid. Bed sores from lack of movement. Soiled sheets because no one was available to help a patient go to the bathroom or use a bedpan and Lord only knows who was given their proper medication because there were often pills lying on the floor slightly under the beds. It was a horrible experience for our family and upset me terribly to see so many elders especially who couldn't speak or see well being left unattended when they desperately needed someone to care for them. Most of those patients were left in the homes because their families trusted the centers to take good care of them. It was very very sad to see.
Luckily we were able to take turns visiting my Mom daily to be sure she was fed. Eventually we moved her back home and hired a live in who was excellent but I'm sure there too there could be problems.
If you have a loved one in a nursing/rehab facility, I would strongly suggest stopping in as often as possible and not being afraid to voice your concerns at all times to the staff. As I said in my opening I'm not knocking those who work there because I'm sure their work is cut out for them and it's quite overwhelming. Unfortunately though it's the patient who suffers most when nursing homes are under staffed and don't stay on top of the special needs of their patients who are there because families trust that they're safe and well taken care of.
Let me add that there may be exceptional nursing homes somewhere in the world but they aren't located anywhere around me.  | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:19:03 AM | | I am sorry for your terrible experience!! That is sad, there is some nursing homes that are very patient involved. That nursing home your family member was in needs to be turned into the state. That is not acceptable!! | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:21:36 AM | | I worked in a Long Term Care facility in a hospital for a while several years ago. Ever since then I have repeatedly told my family I want to be shot out back if I ever became infirm enough to require care like that, that is no way to live. The care we provided was excellent but the patient ended up with no dignity left when staff has to either take the patient to the bathroom or change their diapers, bathe them, feed them, dress them etc. THose with dementia had to be restrained to their beds at night and to their wheel chairs during the day for their safety because of falls etc. I had more than one injury there working with patients that had severe dementia etc. Living a life where you have no control over anything like that is no life at all imo and I would not want it. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:01:44 AM | | i am a carer in a nursing home, and i love where i work, id definatly have no problem being in a home like the one i work in! we have alot of fun believe it or not... its hard work though, those with dimentia are very hard to deal with at times, ive been kicked, bitten, called loads of nasty names! they cant help it, and alot of the time they are lovely to talk to, and i love the fact i have a job that makes a difference, i love leaving work and thinking "wow, ive made a difference to someones life today" | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:55:37 AM |
they were over loaded and under staffed.
That is the root of the problem right there.
I worked in an assisted living facility for nearly a year-NICE place. Very fancy, very clean, very pricey. Still, even during the day we would have 5-6 CNAs on the floor and around 85 residents. That roughly works out to one person for every 14 residents. Mind you, this wasn't a full care facility, but a lot of the residents did need a LOT of help.
The CNAs were generally overworked and they were making around $8.50 an hour-just a dollar above minimum wage at the time to do heavy lifting, cleaning of assorted bodily fluids, bathing, feeding...and so on. The CNAs generally really did like and care about the residents, but when you're tired and broke and you have eight people who need you at the same time and NEED YOU RIGHT NOW, someone or something is going to get ignored.
If my parents ever get to that point, I'm hoping that we can hire private care in home from them, and I would hope whoever's looking after me at that age would make the same choice. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:10:12 AM | | There are some excellent ones and some terrible ones. I think that far more should be invested in making excellent homes for the elderly, I see it as very important. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:11:11 AM | I have been a cook in a county run nursing home for fifteen years. We have a great staff and a very nice place in general. Ya gotta do your homework when placing a loved one in a nursing home. You have to pick the best place for your particular needs. There seems to be a stigma attached to a "county nursing home", however, the place that I work at is by far better than many pricey private places. Yes, there are days when there seems to be not enough help...and there is always a money issue because we are publicly funded for the most part.
I hope that I never have to go to a nursing home, but if I do, let it be the one that I work at... | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:45:00 AM | Montreal has had more than one place shut down because of abuse to the residents. Recently too, I might add. Families don't want to or feel they cannot look after their own elderly, and dump them on the gov't to look after. Some people get paid very little to do a lot. They don't care...they are going to do the least amount of work possible, cause this certainly isn't the kind of goodpay job that you'd actually work at...not for the little bit you get paid.
Some people have decided that the best way is to make sure the home is actually looking after the residents. Constant visits is a must.
I'd love to open a place where I could take in 6-8 residents. Some people do this...and often the care is above the quality offered by the larger places. Though not always...there is always a bad apple in the barrel....just be sure you don't get it!
People who need more care should have it. Perhaps a parental care package could well be emplaced. Someone come in and bathe them, etc. It isn't always easy living with a group of elderly people, especially if they have Alzhiemers or some such. The family needs to pay a bit more in order to ensure quality care. Not many want to do this though. So, it is up to the person to make plans long before hand. Perhaps investments and saving that can be used to get this care. Maybe we need an insurance plan to provide that extra cash needed to get care.
More and more people are staying in their homes for longer times. Some places offer meals, cleaning and laundry...otherwise the residents are on their own pretty well. this is a good way for things...they have a certain amount of independance, but are relieved of some of the chores of everyday living. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:13:02 AM | | Recently my best friends mother went through a couple of these places she always had sores and bruises on her, not bed sores either I know the difference..My friends brother was in charge of everything and he took advantage of moms money and stuck her in these rotton places..In one of them my friend who is a woman was constantly sexually harrassed my the illegal aliens that worked there..She looked in her mothers closet one day for a jacket and found personal possessions of other residents who had died..That's about the time I made alittle phone call to one of the abusers and told him what I was going to do to him if something happened to my friend or her mother..She was placed in a nursing home after that..The sores and bruises were caused by her falling out of bed or hitting herself that's what the staff infection said that worked there but my friend took a video camera with her on most visits and most of the injuries were not accidents..I remember one a gaping open hole in her forehead it was really horrible my friend had these pictures she would call all these so-called agencies for help and because she would lose her temper and yell they would treat my friend like she was crazy...I think there people ought to be ashamed of themselves where I live it seems to be fixed everyone works together to squeeze the life and the life savings out of the patient...All they care about is the money..My friend finally got the judge to talk to her mother who was able to clearly state that she wanted to live at home so arrangements were made for her to have a 24hour nurse and she was able to leave the nursing home, she passed away several months later at home..I also had another friend who was a lawyer here and she took her mother to one of those hell holes to stay for a week while the gal remodeled the house so her mother could live with her 3 days later her mother was found dead with injuries there was an anonymous witness that said they had seen her mother laying on the floor in a pool of blood and suggested that someone beat her to death..No one was ever arrested and as far as I know the only thing going on with the case at this time is a lawsuit..I don't like nursing homes and I hate people that abuse others including agencies that cover it up these people are like child molesters in my book..I would never work a job like that I'd rather be homeless.. | |
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_JAFO_
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Joined: 11/9/2007
Msg: 12 | |
| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:12:38 AM | I think for the right person, with the right care, a nursing home is great. If that's what they want.
I personally wouldn't do it.
There was a line in the movie "Harold and Maude". Maude says something to the effect of ..."75 is too young. 85 is too old. 80 is just right" She commits suicide on her 80th birthday.
People say it's a cowards' way out. Having been exposed to it firsthand, that's not my opinion.
Should my health be so bad, I would lean towards euthanasia. There is a whole subculture supporting it. Oftentimes euthanasia of the ailing aged is not publicized -- at least in my area. And partially, for that reason, there is a movement (I've heard) to outlaw the current form of helium, as it's a painless way to expire. (yes. helium can kill) | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:21:20 PM | | Just MHO but I believe each case differs: yes there are good long term care homes out there as well as bad ones- hence the need to research it prior to having someone you care for stay at one. There are plenty of legit reasons to have mom, dad, brother, or SO, in such a place.... you may be single and unable to care for them and still work, or they are in need of skilled care which you may be unable to provide - hence the need for nursing or subacute care homes. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:49:02 PM | What a timely thread -- this is National Nursing Home Week!
To those of you who currently or used to work in a nursing home -- first, THANK YOU!!!! -- and, what is a good thank-you gift to the staff?
My mom moved my grandmother from her home in North Dakota to my parents' home in Kansas in 1987. My mom and her brothers said they would NEVER put Grandma in a nursing home. Grandma is now 103-1/2 years old.....who knew???
Two years ago my mom and her living brother made the decision to move Grandma to a nursing home for her safety. Fortunately, they have the means to put her in a top-rated facility with great care. My mom is in constant communication with the staff, and she and I trade off feeding Grandma meals. I'm not convinced she gets fed enough if we're not there to help her - that's my only beef with the place. She has (allegedly) fallen out of her wheelchair a couple times, but has never broken a bone. So far I have not encountered a staff member I didn't like. We're blessed. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:28:17 PM | | There are some nursing homes out there where the patient gets proper care and treatment, and the people who work there really care about their paitents. My grandmother died in a nursing home, and she was misreable that she had to spend her last days there, but she became so ill that needed care 24 hours a day. Because of that I dont want to end up in a nursing home. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:48:25 PM | DJMac -- don't most people need care 24/7 during their final days? Unless, of course, there's a Mack truck involved.....
I kind of think I'd rather have the caring staff of the nursing home who has been caring for my grandmother for over 2 years care for her in her final days than in a hospital where she's just another body, so to speak.
I think the hardest part of Grandma being there is that I've been getting to know some of the families, and we lost 3 "inmates" (as I call them) within a couple weeks of each other. My favorite was taken to the hospital in an ambulance while I was feeding my grandma dinner tonight...... | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:41:03 PM | my grand mother was in one and walking in to one of them places is like walking in to a zomie movie.. and that smell gets to you.. my heart breaks for them because of there state and how many people don't come vist there kin there. i went almost everytime i was in town to see my grandmother. I think the homes try to do there best at times and other times not. over all i really don't like them but they might be nessary and its is not an easy thing to do.. the hospise she stayed in was GREAT to her and i was impressed as how they cared for her, her room, and the staff.
I think that is about the only thing and me and grandholm ever agreed on? LOL | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:55:06 PM | Often the smaller homes are better...those getting 50 or more residents never seem to have the same cheery atmosphere as some of the smaller places.
More one-on-one communication is the key to a good place. And a few bucks to make some decent meals. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:18:36 PM | I think it would depend on the nursing home. As of late there have been so many stories about people being neglected, abused, stolen from, etc. while living in a nursing home. So, I for one, would not want to be put in one. I also would not put my parents in one.
I know a lot of women I went to HS with that are CPN's or PRN's in nursing homes...and you know....most of them are still the same drunk, dope using little girls from 8 years ago. Why would I subject someone I cared about to that mess? Nah...I think I'll wipe my mom's ass myself if I need to.
Welder was in a car accident 3 years ago...broke his hip (had to have rods and plates put in), broke his other leg, broke one arm, and had a serious head injury. Once they released him from the hosp. he was sent to a nursing home while he was still recovering (he didn't have anyone at the time to help him take care of himself). And he's always told me how poorly he was treated there. How most of the time he wouldn't even get his medicine b/c it was getting stolen (Percocets, morphine, etc). He'd tell me how he would practically have to BEG for someone to come assist him in going to the bathroom. He lost 75 lbs (which is a lot considering he is 6'6 and his lowest weight was 145 lbs).
So....based on the people I know who work at nursing homes, things I've seen happen in nursing homes (with my g-g-ma), things I've heard 1st hand experience about, and all the news stories....I think that nursing homes need to be overhauled. There needs to be some form of universal guidelines and policies and someone needs to start making the NH that fall short accountable.
~Welder's Girl~ | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:39:38 PM |
he is 6'6 and his lowest weight was 145 lbs
Holy smokes!
My Dad was given the "opportunity" to change careers at 60 and went to nursing school. He did his clinicals in local nursing homes and has told me some horror stories... And he took care of my grandparents when their health started failing. Grandmother was in a home a couple of years and his training helped him keep the owners of the nursing home on their toes.
Other posters are right, it's usually not the employees fault if there's poor treatment. They're overworked and can't keep up. Too many owners treat the business more like a puppy mill and not a place where people spend their final days. Sometimes some employees will get jaded or fed up and just don't care about the patients, but for the most part they really do care and stay just because of that, even when they can get a better paying job somewhere else.
My parents took care of my grandfather at his house after Grandmother died. I think he was in a home the last year. He was still sharp as a tack too, that was the worst part.. for him.
My Dad and I both agree it's not the way either of us want to leave this earth... We both saw his father.... whither away.... reduced to an invalid, and what that did to one of the strongest men I've ever known. The indignity of being a "burden" wore him down more than anything.
If possible, when it's time to call it quits... one last ride on the bike....
But I still plan on dying at the age of 81.... shot in the back by a jealous husband...
Isn't there an office or organization that keeps track of complaints against nursing homes? Some kind of ombudsman or something like that? There must be some way to research a home or their owners... | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:58:15 PM | I think most nursing homes are crap. My grandma had to be put in a nursing home for a few months while she recovered from a hip surgery and they left her in a hall for 3.5 hours alone! There were other small issues, but after she got left in the hall that was it. We found her a new place immediatley and she did get better care but I still really don't trust places like that. Assisted living situations aren't so bad, where they have their own apartment and can do their own thing but get checked on once in a while... but nursing homes in general I think you just really have to be careful about the one you choose.
My grandma is 90 and still lives alone. She just bought a new smaller house she has a gal who comes and cleans twice a week and helps her take a shower, her yard gets done by some garden company, but other than that she just chills and does her own thing. She's way happier doing so, and quite capable. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:11:06 PM |
and, what is a good thank-you gift to the staff?
When I was working there, pretty much ANYTHING was appreciated. Personally filled out cards, I got some lovely hand soap once...FOOD. If it comes from the heart, so to speak, it's always appreciated. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/17/2008 5:03:57 AM | I am well aware of the nursing home horror stories. Not all places are like that. In defense of the workers.... my mother has been in 2 nursing homes (short term) and 2 hospital stays. It was always my Mother that was violent & aggressive against the staff. Several workers have been injured thanks to this little old lady. It is sadly common for family to believe that workers abused their 'loved one'. They REFUSE to consider that, just maybe, their 'loved one' is abuser. (Dementia does that to a person, and naive people dont understand that)
For those that claim they would NEVER put their parents in a nursing home... I have not yet found one person that could survive my life for 6 months let alone the 3 yrs I've been at it. Government programs for home help just don't exist to the degree people assume they do. Try to hire help 'private pay' and see how fast the savings acct starts to disappear.
Then you take into account the average nursing home costs (private pay) $5000/month!!! That is a lot of money. The Gov programs require you private pay for everything. You will go flat broke fast, and only then will the gov start paying.
For those that have dealt with 'loved ones' in nursing homes... I got a beef to pick.... I spend 24/7 with Mother. I see & hear her every 'beyond bizarre' comment/behavior. I have 1 aunt and 1 uncle that visits occasionally. Not often enough. They will carry on about how great she seems to be, therefore everything I've claimed about her is an outright lie. What is different about visiting company? Simple... All the loved one has to do is sit in their chair, and act decent, while their visiting company pays attention to them. (Even an ill-behaved child knows to behave when it suits their best interest)
Naive people just dont understand that just because she/he behaves one way during a visit, DOES NOT mean this is their true 24/7 behavior/issues. Spend 24/7 with someone for ONE WEEK and you will get a different picture of the person you are concerned about.
Naive people also dont realize that it IS POSSIBLE to get kicked out of a nursing home. They end up in a geriatric psych ward. Those abuse rates run even higher, and now your 'loved one' is probably 100 miles away. Geriatric psych wards are not common in rural areas, mainly big cities.
It is easy is assume what you would do, if you had a decision to make. Then you jump into the system, with all the rules and regulations, and stipulations, and limitations, and suddenly you are slapped with reality. And it's not pretty. Life sucks, and then you die. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:04:30 AM | | I train service dogs and the first step is getting a TDI which means I bring my pups to nursing homes. I have seen some horrible ones and some fantastic ones. Its really not so much the care of the elderly but the neglect from the family members. They are forgotten and lonely. Just to have companionship from a human or animal really brightens thier day. I recently spent the day in an Altimers ward and I truely get more enjoyment then the patients. | |
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