| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:14:26 AM | My BF never bothers with Christmas, Valentines, Birthday or Anniversaries, I always make the effort for him.
It's a long distance thing and we see each other maybe 2 weekends a month, I always travel to him as he's unemployed at the moment and says he can't afford to come to me.
My birthday last week he said I should go spend it with him, we'd do something special, so off I went, 300 mile trip, the day arrives, he goes out who knows where for 12 hours, comes home, has a drink and falls asleep. He never even said Happy Birthday.
He didn't forget, as he made passing reference to it in a text that morning.
So I let it go, don't want to be childish it's just another day, right?
Now his Birthday is coming up, and my friends tell me I should ignore his as he ignored mine.
Personally, I feel that's kinda petty, and TBH I enjoy doing nice stuff for him so it's tough to just do nothing, and I'd end up feeling bad.
So, should I go ahead and do the nice stuff I want to do, or just get a card, or just ignore it completely? | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:25:05 AM | | My knee-jerk reaction when I saw the headline was, No... that wouldn't make anything better... But now that I read your post, I have to say, RUN AWAY!!!!! As if the traveling just to see him isn't enough, he treats you like crap anyway...you shouldn't tolerate that from ANY person, male or female, long distance or next door. | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:29:10 AM | I agree with your friends.
I would give his special days as much importance as he does yours.
I does sound as though he is blatantly taking advantage of you .
Rather than celebrating with him , get some friends together and have a great time without him !
Good luck | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:30:22 AM | If my bf disappeared for 12 hours after I traveled 300 miles to see him, I would have passed him on my way out - ner to return! That is just plain IGNORANT! Birthday or no birthday! 
Do not waste another day, dime or moments worry over this LOSER! Find someone who will treat you with common decency! | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:32:18 AM | He didnt only ignore your B'Day he ignored YOU..................He could have made your day special without spending money. A home made card, making you a dinner (I assume he eats even if your not there). The guy sounds self absorbed. Now I am one to do things expecting nothing in return for friends and family. But, I would expect a little something special from a SO even if its a back rub. GEEZZZZZ | |
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gcdeb
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Joined: 1/11/2008
Msg: 7 | |
| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:33:32 AM | So he asked you to spend the day with him, and he said you'd do something special, then he spends most of the day away from you and falls asleep when he gets home?
It costs NOTHING to make a birthday special. For a couple of dollars he could have made a cake. He could have run you a bath, given you a massage, had candlelight, and nice music. A bottle of wine sitting somewhere nice... any number of things. Yet he didn't even give you a birthday kiss and hug?
My advice would to always do what YOU think is the right thing to do. No 'tit for tat', no revenge, just do the 'right' thing.
If you think the right thing is to keep being generous while he's being a louse, then that's your choice.
Personally, I would be thinking long and hard about what you think you mean to him, because it doesn't sound like it is all that much. | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:44:48 AM | Excuse me???? And you waiting around for 12 HOURS???? What part of "abusive relationships" do you not understand???
Start walking girl! This is NOT the Love-Of-Your-Life!!! Better still...RUN!!!!! | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:46:12 AM | My BF never bothers with Christmas, Valentines, Birthday or Anniversaries, I always make the effort for him.
Is that ^^^ overly dramatic because you're hurt over what just happened ...or is it actually the case?
If it is...he's an ass...BUT...
I WAS gonna say...that he might have felt humiliated because he's unemployed and although wanted to do something special for you...the guilt just ate him up and he acted like a jerk when it mattered the most...
Now...if what I just said is more along the truth...and its his birthday...then dont embarass him any further by doing anything grand.
He'd probably be happy if you just spent a little time with him, gave him a cheap gift and cooked him a meal. | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:16:07 AM | | Yeah that's seriously pretty weak on his part, considering you drove 300 miles to be with him. I know the common response to any little bump in the road is to "ditch the loser" Like you said, he doesn't acknowledge birthdays, christmas etc, but he still should have spent time with you, birthday or not. He could go hang with his friends when you weren't there. What he did was pretty inconsiderate on a number of fronts. I would send him a card, but don't go there that weekend. I wouldn't ditch him, but have a little talk with him if he wonders why you aren't there. Communication is the key. | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:18:24 AM |
It's a long distance thing and we see each other maybe 2 weekends a month, I always travel to him as he's unemployed at the moment and says he can't afford to come to me.
My birthday last week he said I should go spend it with him, we'd do something special, so off I went, 300 mile trip, the day arrives
Long distance.....300miles.....maybe twice a month.............
Ok......puttin us ON here?  | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:24:01 AM | Geez this one is easy. Sounds like you want a reciprocative relationship, yet BMC when your long-distance boyfriend doesn't give you attention you expect to receive. Why are you dating this guy? First it's long distance, sounds like just for sex. Why expect non-sexual closeness when you are in a relationship just for the sex?
Either talk to this guy about your needs not being met, if he doesn't meet them after that talk, find a new boyfriend. There's no boundaries here. | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:43:33 AM | A lover who forgets a birthday isn't worth the bedspace they take up. There is no use in even trying to explain this to them...
I can see once because maybe the week was an awful one that was very busy that it would be late but continuously?
you need to get rid of that person from your life as a lover and make them your lawn man or something where they stay outdoors and not enter into your place or your life. | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:09:13 AM | The guy sounds like a dead-set dropkick.
I'm sure there are people tripping over themselves to meet people as thoughtful as you, yet you choose to be with this individual who makes as much effort for you as he does paying a traffic fine.
I think the question you should really be asking this forum is not whether to pay attention to his birthday or not, but whether you should pay any attention to him at all? | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:57:15 AM | no you should make these occassions even more special, its your duty....
be grateful... he sent you a text didn't he?? ffs what more do you want??
ya just can't please some women eh? no wander men despair of us! | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:04:28 AM | Yes, ignore his, that'll learn him !
Um....why are you with this guy ?
Wow. Only wow. ( yeah, I know I'm supposed to say " just wow " but I'm a rebel ! ) | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:27:13 AM |
he might have felt humiliated because he's unemployed and although wanted to do something special for you...the guilt just ate him up and he acted like a jerk when it mattered the most...
Then he is a child and needs to grow up before playing grown up. | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:29:42 AM |
he might have felt humiliated because he's unemployed and although wanted to do something special for you...the guilt just ate him up and he acted like a jerk when it mattered the most...
Then he is a child and needs to grow up before playing grown up
Wow...cold 
Geez...its not like the guy couldnt feel reallllly crappy and maybe apologise or nothing.
OR...here's a thought...could be going through a really shitty time in general in life.
Lets all just bury our SO's in absolute condemnation for something stupid they've done.
Should make for a happy and fulfilling LTR. 
And some people wonder why they're single...go figure. | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:46:18 AM | You shouldn't ignore his birthday. You should be gone, if anything.
I'm going to probably go with the unpopular thing and say that ignoring someone's birthday just because of that doesn't make it any better. Revenge tactics should be saved for war or something. All that stuff will do is hurt the other person and it's destructive behavior and asking for absolutely no improvement. | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:30:51 PM |
Wow...cold
So sorry....looks like he's having a long run of a:
shitty time in general in life.
Sounds toxic...how long does one put up with not acknowledging holidays and birthdays and disregarding personal time before it's excepted to feel walked on.
This isn't court....and true......because he is not here to have his say, we only have what the OP is tells of her experience...does not sound like a couple mistakes....
Sounds like a pattern.
OP.......If you heard about him from someone else, would you let a person like him date you?
I guess you were writing for input. My input (among others) is to find someone who enhances your life and you enhance his.
It's not like you were married for years and your hubby is going through a rough patch. You should to be discovering if you want each other LT at this point.
He is not ready because he does not understand what giving and respect means yet.
That's what I mean by saying he is still a child....sounds as if emotionally, he is. | |
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| He Ignored My Birthday, Should I Ignore His?
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:41:34 PM | You didn't cook him dinner? Clean his house? Massage his feet? He needs to dump you!
Do you have mistreat and misuse me written on your forehead? GIRL!!!! WAKE UP!!!!
Run away, far far away! | |
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