| He says he "chooses to be single"
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:22:03 AM | Okay, maybe this is a silly question but I've heard several guys say this now and I need to know, from a guy's perspective, what the hell does it mean when he says he "chooses to be single"?
First of all, I know men have a habit, especially when it comes to women, dating, "love", what-have-you, of double-speaking. They say one thing but it means something COMPLETELY different.
So for all you men out there - what does that phrase REALLY mean????? 
Thanks! | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:24:42 AM | it means we do not choose to be with someone that doesnt fit our requirements and as such decide to stay single until someone comes along
that or said person isnt ready emotionally for a new relationship
I have chosen to stay single for over a year now as i have not met anyone that i would consider having a long term relationship with (yet) | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:31:38 AM | So, given that you just meet someone and that is the answer they have given you, then there is still potential for developing a relationship then?
I mean, in a man's mind, you guys are automatically ruling out any chick that comes along? | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:33:25 AM |
I mean, in a man's mind, you guys are automatically ruling out any chick that comes along?
rather - are NOT automatically ruling out any chick that comes along
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:33:50 AM | Well the old saying goes "one date does not a gf/bf make"
Keep an open mind, dont get too involved emotionally from the offset and just go with the flow, if something happens it will if it doesn't, next!
I cant speak for all guys but i never rule out anyone who comes along that catches my eye, if they have the other things i look for (as i get to know them) then i will consider having a relationship with them | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:52:24 AM | I suppose by saying "I choose to be single" you are removing doubt that you are single because you are undesirable and are forced into being single. Although, stressing that it's a choice on your part sounds a little suspicious.
I'm single, but I don't feel the urge to proclaim that it's because of a conscious choice I've made. I think it makes more sense to say that your picky and not willing to settle, but will gladly do so for the right person.
After all, are the "I choose to be single" crowd going to turn down a potential relationship with someone they find really incredible simply because they "choose to be single."
"Sorry, you're my perfect match and I think we'd have an amazing future together, BUT I choose to be single." | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:59:10 AM | | It doesn't mean he won't get into a relationship. It means he won't get married. The loss of freedom is too frightening. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:17:15 AM | For me it means that I wont settle. I choose to be single rather than be in a relationship that I know wont go anywhere. Finding a girlfriend isn't the hard part, its finding one that has the qualities and personality that I like.  | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:26:20 AM | | for me it means I'm not *actively* looking... just going about my biz, enjoying my drama and BS-free life. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:10:11 AM | [First of all, I know men have a habit, especially when it comes to women, dating, "love", what-have-you, of double-speaking. They say one thing but it means something COMPLETELY different. ]
I always thought that was a woman thing !!
I choose to be single at this moment in time because its what i feel comfortable with, i dont feel the need to have a partner, i am enjoying the time on my own because there are things i would like to be doing that need no destractions.
Saying that in two months time my outlook may be different, i just dont know, its all down to how i feel at that moment in time. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:32:58 AM |
I suppose by saying "I choose to be single" you are removing doubt that you are single because you are undesirable and are forced into being single. Although, stressing that it's a choice on your part sounds a little suspicious.
I agree that mentioning or announcing that unsolicited is a bit suspicious, however if someone asks me why I am single, I sort of find that question amusing. It makes you feel like based on some rule, you're not supposed to be.
I'm single, but I don't feel the urge to proclaim that it's because of a conscious choice I've made. I think it makes more sense to say that your picky and not willing to settle, but will gladly do so for the right person.
I agree that for some, this is true - with me it's "if I can be involved without feeling like I'm no longer single, than I'll go with it." I won't settle by default because I don't feel one has to pair off to be complete, and choosing not to choose when you have crappy options is always best, but sure, I might wind up in another relationship by accident. It's not the first time.
After all, are the "I choose to be single" crowd going to turn down a potential relationship with someone they find really incredible simply because they "choose to be single."
They might depending on where they are in life and depending on what "not being single anymore" might entail.
"Sorry, you're my perfect match and I think we'd have an amazing future together, BUT I choose to be single."
Sometimes you can have both.
It doesn't mean he won't get into a relationship. It means he won't get married. The loss of freedom is too frightening.
That describes me pretty accurately - no marriage, no kids, and involvement only if I don't lose my freedom, my individuality, my space. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:38:55 AM | | It simply means he does not want to get into a serious long term relationship but he will entertain no-strings attached sex. Now, these things can change, but at some point a guy like that may decide to become a confirmed bachelor for life, looking just to hook up for the occassional romp in the hay. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:57:43 AM | | “I choose to be single” Means I am afraid and totally scared of commitment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:15:23 AM | “I choose to be single” Means I am afraid and totally scared of commitment
why "scared".how about not interested. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:30:47 AM | | He means exactly that he chooses to be single. That you think you know about men they are hypocrites doesn't change what he means. Knock yourself out looking for what isn't there. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:13:18 AM | | It really depends on the situation. If he had his left hand in his pocket then it meant given the current market conditions, he chooses to lease. But, if he had his right hand in his pocket he’s still upset he didn’t lay up on sixteen and had to take a double-bogey. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:32:35 AM | To me choosing to be single just means that there is at least one person that would have liked otherwise and for whatever reason you have chosen not to be with them. Doesn't have anything to do with anyone else, just that you have opportunity to not be single but choose not to be with just anyone.
That's just how I see it though and it could easily be different. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:59:08 AM | | If he said it, then he may be cautious about the opposite sex for whatever reason, but it doesn't mean ge us against changing his mind later, but he is being very choosy. Now, if a guy spotted a girl he was really into, there is a good chance he would choose not to be single, because she seems worth it for him whatever that means. I think it is good to be cautious as a male or female. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:16:45 PM | First of all, I know men have a habit, especially when it comes to women, dating, "love", what-have-you, of double-speaking. They say one thing but it means something COMPLETELY different.
It means he wants a new car. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:32:48 PM | | I'd might say that to a girl who was nice but simply didn't meet my criteria. If you say, "I just don't want a relationship with you." You will probably be badgered as to why. It's ultimately kinder than saying, "you aren't pretty/fun/interesting/respectable/etc.." enough for me to take seriously. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:08:19 PM | Perhaps he means, or understands the concept," I take responsibility for my own life, who and where I am as a person is due to me, not external factors. There is no one or thing to blame for who I am or where I am at in life except me. Therefore I am single because ultimately it is my choice. I dictate my own life, not the world around me. I am not a victim of circumstances or the behavior of others."
So it may mean he may see himself as an adult, that his life is his own to live and he currently resides in the consequences of his previous choices. Not because all of his exes were bad, not because life dictated his circumstances, and not because he is a victim of everyone else.
I use that phrase and that is generally what it means when I say it. It's just easier to say "It's my choice," and if someone actually understands the meaning, or if the meaning is simply obvious, then that also tells me a sh*t load about that person. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:39:09 PM | | I think the man is tired of the head games and unwarranted stress, so for period of time he will choose to remain single, and live an uncomplicated bithc free life. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:24:29 PM | I have no idea what the guy meant by that but trying to read more into things is pointless. Women have that cornered! 
If I said it, I would mean it as at the moment I am choosing to be single. The reasons why could be unique to a given situation at the moment but you didn't ask that question did you?
It could be as some stated here that they are tired of dating, it could be they are afraid of commitment, it could be they want to f*ck em and leave em or it could be he isn't attracted to you and he doesn't want to go down that route with you or it could be that he is not having any success and would rather think of it has him choosing to be single than no one wanting to be with him. Who knows. Each person will have their own "why" for this comment. | |
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| He says he chooses to be single
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:49:54 PM | I had a guy say this to me the other day. "I like my single life."
I take it as meaning several things, and none of them good.
The only good point, as I take it, is that since he is not rejecting you for another woman, you can continue to date him, or do whatever it occurs to you to do to him, as long as you remember that he is not wanting anything more. I'm just going to linger on the edges of his beloved single life and annoy him like a fly, till he admits that really I am THE ONE. Unless someone else asks me out for this weekend.
Oh, darn, it's the weekend! No date! Oh well, it's ok, I like my single life as well  | |
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