| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:40:21 AM | Ok here goes, I meet this girl I hadn’t seen for awhile she came to a party I was having, we ended up having sex that night and then started a relationship 3 days after.
She was living with one of her girlfriends that was very white trash and I really didn’t approve of, well I ended up letting her move in after 2 weeks of dating, yes I know it was very fast but we seemed to have very good chemistry but after 6 months or so the relationship was turning soar we were fighting and arguing all the time ( drinking didn’t help), I was tired of making the money and pretty much owning everything she used so I asked her to move out and to take a break but not to have sex with other people, we started just seeing each other on the side and seemed to being doing a lot better well some time passed and one day she called and asked if I had had sex with someone and I said no, but it made me think why did she ask me, there must be something going on I said to myself.
so a week had past and things seemed fine we were getting along great I thought, then I had a friend stop by and from out of nowhere he tells me my ex had a threesome with the white trash chick and some guy I was totally blown away  I thought he had to be lying.
so being the straight forward guy I am I called her and asked she said, she sort of had a three some that she made out with the girl but did nothing with the guy I pretty much told her have a good life peace,
Well she’s e-mailed me a couple times telling me she misses me loves me yada yada what I am spose to feel or do in this situation I love the girl she’s been great to me but I really don’t want to be with a whore I’m 25 years old and this is kind of weird and replies are appreciated | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:46:21 AM | | Get rid of her. she is also trash to have a threesome. she is no better than her roommate that you dont like. You do not need to accept what you dont like. there is a loving, non cheating lady out there for you. dont give up on love but do give up the thing u have now. Its a waste of your time. to make matters worse you (boyfirned) wasnt even involved in the threesome lol. If you leave her its her loss not yours. | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:52:21 AM | | The white trash girl is the same as the girl living with you, maybe even her lesbian lover. Guess your not seeing that right now. My suggestion is to get her out of your house as soon as possible before things get ugly and you end up getting burglarized or a STD for life. Even worse, she gets preg, and you end up paying child support for 18 years while she lives with her lesbian white trash GF drinking several 12 packs a day of Shiltz beer daily from your child support money and putting on sex shows for paying customers with their pets. Of course this is the worst case senerio but it may not be too far from reality as I gaze into my crystal ball of relationship realities. | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:53:07 AM | Sounds like the kind of women you're choosing aren't destined for a relationship scenario...one/two night wild sexual escapades, yes...but certainly nothing worth a relationship, let alone shacking up with...
But...whatever floats your boat... | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:53:19 AM | | First of all, I don't think she's a whore. And there's nothing wrong with having a 3 some. The problem I have is one of trust. If she slept with someone else while you two are still, working things out and being exclusive, then it's out to the curb. Now, if you two had agreed that it was okay to see other people. Then all bets are off. Do you see what I mean dude? So the issue is not the threesome, the issue is breach of trust. | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:13:23 AM | Dude,
The 3-some part is not what would worry me, it's the part that when you both attempted to live together that it went sour fast. That's a huge red flag. It's time to move on, if you can't live in harmony then it won't get any better the longer you date. Been there, done that.
You will find someone just as hot, just as horny, and alot more stable, dependable and compatible. Trust me on that one romeo. | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:00:10 AM | | i don't think there's inherently anything wrong with having a threesome. although i think it should be done within a comitted relationship to the enjoyment of both partners. Although there is something to be said about her choice of partners. .. also don't call white trash...i aspire towards it i'm that poor...lol | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:27:19 AM | Bluedog
You answered your own question, you don't want to have a whore to love. If she is one, then what makes you think you love her? Is it because she was great in bed. You also stated that you agrued all the time, and you were paying for everything, don't you think she may have been using you, because you seem like a good man.
Take your own advice. And of course most men are going to say that there is nothing wrong with a 3some, that is most mens fantasy, then when it happens (if it does) they don't see the woman the same way any longer.
It is your choice, if youa re not comfortable with her havng a 3 some and you believe that she only made out with the girls and did nothing with the gu (which I wouldnt buy that at all) then you need to be able to have trust in her. if you don't move on. You are attractive, young, and seem intelligent to get better. | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:27:27 AM | i don't think there's inherently anything wrong with having a threesome. although i think it should be done within a comitted relationship to the enjoyment of both partners.
Just curious here Adelica. If the act is for the enjoyment of the two in the committed relationship, what would that make the THIRD person in your threesome? I guess that person would equate to what, a BOB with a heartbeat and no need for recharging? LOL.
Anyway, OP. I won't say your ex is trash or anything like that. The bottom line for you is, she is someone with whom you don't share similar values. That is all it is, so move on. I am unclear a bit on the status of your relationship because it was your idea for her to move out and take a break, etc. Well...like on Friends if you guys were on a break... | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:37:56 AM | WOW!!! Let me get this straight...it was PERFECTLY OK for her to have sex with you on a first night because _______ (why?).
So, do you consider yourself a whore? Why wasn't she a whore back then...cause you were in control and getting laid?!?!
What gives you the right to control her? Did she extend that to you? (referencing your disapproval of her living situation)
You have a perfectly valid right to decide your own future with her, but before you pronounce judgement on her behaviors, pronounce judgement on your own.
IMHO, she's not a whore because she had sex with other people when she was not in a committed relationship with you. What she is is 20-something, experimenting, feeling what life is all about. She did it with you, too. Maybe she now has an understanding of what she wants out of a relationship.
If anything, I'd hope she reads this so she realizes what a double-standard, control freak jerk she's seeing...save both of you the headache of a divorce in 4-6 years.
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:02:46 PM | | Why exactly do you think she's a whore? Having a threesome doesn't make someone a whore. It makes them someone that had a threesome. End of story. It's not unusual and there really is nothing wrong with it unless you are telling me YOU have only had sex within a committed relationship. Oh wait, you already told us you have had sex on a first date. That means you are just fine with sex outside a committed relationship. I with Eazk that she should count her blessings that she escaped being tied to someone with such obvious double standards. | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:10:27 PM | Are you one of these guys that says, "No drama," in your profile? Cuz that's exactly what you're setting yourself up for.
Why bother calling her to find out if she's having three-ways? Who cares? If you want lots of craziness in your life, go for it. Keep having women move in after you've known them a couple of weeks. I guarantee you'll have enough excitement to drive you crazy for the rest of your life.
When you're ready for a healthy relationship, leave all that behind, start getting to know some sane women, and get to know them slowly enough so you can see what kind of stuff they are made of. | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:03:09 PM | | I visited your profile and she is not the girl you are looking for. It's as simple as that. You might not be what she is looking for either. It's time to bless it and move on....no judgements and no regrets.....just moving on.... | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:09:11 PM |
outmind a threesome is not a relationshiop. its an orgy.
Did I say a threesome is a relationship? No.
I don't know the definition of an orgy, but it seems to me you have to have more people. At least one more. Any experts on the definition here? hehehe. | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:27:54 PM | I think you did the right thing Op, she showed that she does not respect you, and I am one of those people that feels if you love someone truely you won't stray. I know there are all kinds of situations, and some might even be valid to a point but what she did was wrong. You guys had an agreement and she was unable to keep it.
Move on and find someone you can trust.
Take you time next time too. | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:39:26 PM | | Well on the comment where u guys said we had sex on the first night i knew the chick for about 4 years then we lost touch , then ran into each other wasnt like i just meet her and ****ed her i did have some sence of who she was but there was alot that could of happened between the time i didnt see her, | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:07:01 PM | Either way, you're still controlling the game. You say you had a sense (I assume that is what you meant) of who she was, but you still pressed your advantage, had sex with her, then went on to disapprove of her lifestyle and have her move in with you. Tell us where is the loving, nurturing behavior in all of that?
You're profile reads like you're some kind of choirboy only looking for the good and virtuous woman...except for those 'justifiable' one night stand that turn into a few months of romper room activity. Don't always confuse sex with cheating and relationships. If you were dating during the time, it's likely that you were entering into emotional relationships that just hadn't culminated in sex as yet.
And if you were on a break, why is it your business what she was doing unless she was putting your life and health at risk? Did you ask her about safe sex, or just sex? It's her body, she's free to express her feelings towards others as she sees fit........just as you do.
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:27:36 PM | I can totally relate my friend. First of all if she was a good girl (so to speak) she never would have done it! Also if she had respect for you and your relationship she would have been the one to come and tell you not your friend?? The heart always wnats to forgive becasue you love her but you need to ask yourself - Do I deserve this, do I deserve better and a biggy for me Can you ever trust her again?? Cheating is cheating don't care if its with same sex, oppisite or even just kissing it all counts!! I will keep you in my prayers good luck! You need to do what makes you feel nost comfortable because you have to live in your own skin everyday. Does she sound regretful? Have you talked to the other two involved?? I woud have been on there door step!! hope at least a little helped you.  | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:32:28 PM | Okey Lad... have a seat...I can definitely tell you are only 25 years old!
First of all, when you ordered her out, you gave up ALL rights as to what she may or may not do! UNDERSTAND? You later claimed in your pathetic letter that you loved her? Who the Hell you trying to impress? ...yourself?
And as for you, Miss Kittenshere... YOU need to grow up as well! She is NOT trash and you have just showed your lack of adulthood, immaturity, inexperience and closed-mind by making such a statement!
I have an idea... why don't YOU TWO get together and both wear the same t-shirts that read: "I'm with Stupid" | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:03:11 PM | | You already know she lies to you. You've already decided she's a whore. You know she hangs out with what you judge to be white trash. You wanted exclusivity and told her so, yet she still had sexual relations behind your back . How can you say she's been great to you? What part of this Jerry Springer situation is attracting you back to her? | |
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| Need help on a Relationship issue ( threesome )
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:11:32 PM | | its funny most of the negative advice is from single 50 year old men or fat old women, i just came here for advice not to here your negative bullshit thanks to the rest of you for your mature advice | |
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