| the first date seemed to go so well
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:03:38 AM | Dating and relating Foot in mouth
The date seemed to go well, but after you bid your companion
farewell, you never heard from them again. Was it something you said?
First date nerves are responsible for many a faux pas; the presence
of an attractive person has the unnerving ability to turn
unsuspecting daters into babbling fools with, at best, no sense of
decorum and at worst, a raging case of verbal diarrhoea.
But the rules of date conversation are fairly straightforward: avoid
the controversial, keep things light and be positive. You too can
sidestep a conversation catastrophe by keeping this
unmentionable in mind.
"My ex..."
If you feel these words forming in your mouth, for goodness sake
shove some food in there. If there were ever two inappropriate words
to utter on a date, they are "my ex". There's no faster way to paint
yourself as bitter and self-obsessed (or just plain obsessed) than to
bring up an ex while you're supposed to be getting to know someone
new.
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| the first date seemed to go so well
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:44:21 PM | | Are you asking a question and are we supposed to reply or were you just making a statement for all to read Damsel. | |
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| the first date seemed to go so well
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:51:43 PM | Are you saying that you went on a date with someone and was disappointed by their referring to the ex?
For myself I'm just as happy to hear about the ex. At least that way you can get some idea of how the person relates, what went wrong and whether it might affect you. | |
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| the first date seemed to go so well
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:46:41 PM | My ex is still one of my best mates 8 years after we split up, so I talk about him pretty regularly, but not really as "an ex" just like any other one of my mates, he has been a big part of my life for nearly 20 years and any future prospective partners would need to accept that, just like I wouldn't give up any of my female friends
ronda :)
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| the first date seemed to go so well
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:07:49 AM | I was just giving some advice really, as someone else not on this site asked me last week, via an email, what she should do, and I suggested she came on here and found lots of other peoples advice too.. she had to start somewhere!
She is always going on about her ex, even on the phone, hes dead, but she still can`t let him go...... everytime she goes to meet a guy she mentions him the *ex*...... puts some guys off I feel..
but hey I am getting heaps of ideas for this thread from another counsellor so watch this page...  | |
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| the first date seemed to go so well
Posted: 5/17/2008 4:10:41 AM | A few years back, i went on a couple of dates.....both friends of friends.
The first one went on and on about her soon to be ex (husband)...kiiilll meeee nowwww.
The second one did the same, giving her the benifit of the doubt, i saw her a few more times........she persisted in rabbiting on about the ex, needless to say i knocked it on the head.....the dates not her. | |
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| the first date seemed to go so well
Posted: 5/17/2008 5:31:55 AM | this is what I was sent today, so hope it helps people!
The process of falling into mature love happens in 4 steps.
When you meet a prospective partner, you subconsciously look for cues that they the kind of person you should be with. That’s *Assumption!*
If they pass the assumption test you begin to get to know them to find out if he/she is appropriate for you, if they are, You are *Attracted.*
If as you get to know them the attraction is re-enforced with joy or pain or both
You`ll fall into *Infatuation*.
If you manage to make a connection and attach to each other during infatuation, you`ll move into *mature unconditional love*
Assumptions.. your subconscious mind scans the prospective partner and picks out those that meet your assumptions about the kind of person your attracted to!
Once they have passed *Assumption *they will now subconsciously gauge attention,
eg fall into step when they start to walk somewhere together..
mirror each other in action.
Accept their touch with pleasure.
Exchange any copulary gazes. Eg. A look that lasts a few seconds too long!
If the conversation picks up a rhythm with no long silences.
Develop enough of a relationship to use nicknames.
Share the same tastes in music or film.
Establish shared secrets or private jokes.
Value the same things!
The attitude will make all the difference. Someone who likes you and likes being with you is attractive. That could be a strong psychological hint they are compatible
Note: every species has a dinner date as a part of the courting ritual. A guy thinks if a woman who won` t let him pay for dinner she is rejecting his courtship. She may think she is playing fair, or that she` s a feminist, but at a very deep level she knows she` s thinking of crossing him off her list of possibilities. So they will fight over the check.
If she then lets him, she has changed her mind and puts him back on the list.. It all depends how the conversation carries during the meal.
IF this helps wait for the second part
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| the first date seemed to go so well
Posted: 5/17/2008 6:06:36 AM | Not trying to sound argumentative or an A-hole but both posts sound like an assumption that all men are the same and all women are the same. Personally, If someone was thinking about their ex enough to bring it up on a date, I wouldn't want them to hide it. Be who you are at that point in time and let me decide if I want to put in the effort to wait. Don't falsify your heart and string me along.
2nd post: I've seen plenty of heartless people that wouldn't think twice about using someone for a free meal under false pretenses. Especially here in California. I'm not limiting this to just women either. Men do it too. Too many people pretend to be something they aren't, to get who they want, and then get upset when it doesn't work out. | |
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| the first date seemed to go so well
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:19:34 AM | well after reading the above posts, think i'll stay lonesome, it all seems too hard, having to prove one's merit,'Mo | |
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