| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:07:35 AM | anyone else had their ass handed to them one to many times by emotional/sexual abusers from this site? i have. the only thing i'm finding here is online dating doesnt work. thats why so many are still here and why its a gold mine for advertisers and site owners.
the old fashion way works people. it has for centuries!
online dating is backward engineering of the way relationships develop. online dating is a pre-negotiation of a "sure thing" for most of those here. online dating sites are nothing but a way to absolve most people of emotional responsibility over sex and relationships. thats why there are so many here that whine about how they've been here for years and not finding anyone..its called denial, justifying serial dating and the abuse they continue to doll out.
maybe one day people will better learn how to relate to each other and the opposite sex, but i'm not hoping to see it any time soon...
later al l you fishys | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:03:54 PM | Ummm no sorry euphoric while I am deeply sorry you have been mistreated, I'm afraid I can't say its an issue of the sites. Its the people and because of that you are alas as much at fault.
I have been on this site now a little over 2 years. I've yet to date anyone from pof, but I have seen a number come and go and come again. I've seen many complain as you are of being used just for the physical and without "emotional responsiblity" But the question none of them ever ask themselves or admit was. Did you look for anything beyond the physical first?
If you start only with what looks good to you rather then who is good to you, your get the fate you ask for. I may seem harsh in this but I am tired of thread after thread blaming one gender or the other for just being after the quick thing. Or being players or what have you and then see thread after thread of "nice guys/gals" get thrown out as just whining.
If you don't want to be viewed as a peice of meat stop using the peice of meat as theprimary criteria. | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:33:49 PM | I'm not sure blaming the messenger for the problems in ones life is all that productive. Or reasonable. "Bad dating" isn't the problem with the internet dating sites. We still have to accept personal responsibility for the dates we go on and whether there will be a second date or not. I have read many profiles by women that begin with "I'm tired of the bar scene..." so my guess is there are problems in the face-to-face dating scene, too.
Pick your liquid to drink. It's up to you whether you swallow or not. And if you do swallow, it will be because you have decided that the liquid is not poison. Be prepared to be right. And accept the consequences if you are wrong.
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:47:11 PM | Sorry to hear that you've had such a rotten experience here...it's definitely not for everyone.
I'm going to disagree with your statement that everyone on here is 'pre-negotiating a sure thing'. That's about as general as saying everyone who goes into a bar is trolling for sex. If that's what you're looking for...no doubt you're going to find it!
My experience has been the opposite...I've met some wonderful people here and hope to continue to do so...who know's, I might actually meet my 'someone' here... | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:54:30 PM | | Way to paint everyone with one broad stroke. With that bitter attitude of yours, you are going to find trouble wherever you try to meet people. | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:13:03 PM | Way to paint everyone with one broad stroke. With that bitter attitude of yours, you are going to find trouble wherever you try to meet people.
I have to agree with that. From my experiences with on line dating (which has been on and off for 10, yes, 10 years) I have met some really great people. Meeing men in bars has been a horror (the very rare times my girl friends and I actually do).
Like everything else in life it's pretty much what you make of it. There are good points and bad points in everything. Liars and cheats both on line and off line. The best strategy I can think of is to have little expectations and just try to have fun and enjoy.
Best of luck to you. | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:39:24 PM | It is a breeze to lie online--not as easy in person...I agree poster that this IMO is not a good way to find a relationship--other things--yes - but not a long term relationship...needle in a haystack/drop in a bucket...and who wants to go through all the trouble and all the idiots to find that needle in this haystack...not me. | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:20:38 PM | | To the OP: the info given states you joined this past Feb. Its only May..why not give it a little more time? | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:01:02 PM | im sorry for what you have experienced.. but can i ask a few questions? why is it that girls allways fall for the sweet talkers? usually thats a front and they turn into what you have explained while the nice guys who arnt sweet talkers who want a girl who wants to get to know me for me , not what i can say to make them like me telling the truth being real. like myself i would like to think never have any girls even respond?
what im saying is maby you sould re evaluate how you pick and choose men dont want this to sound harsh but its kind of the truth.. if you want to go further why do SOME girls only go for guys with a big wallet? or nice car? big house? regaurdless of what the look like? | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:46:35 PM |
the old fashion way works people. it has for centuries!
It does work OP, and thats why you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket. I dont rely on this site to meet someone, but if it happens that would be great. | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:35:17 PM | | You definitely know more about a person in person, but this site is also convenient. It offers another way to meet someone. | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/19/2008 1:02:35 PM | | there are alot of users on this site sucks, that's whey I don't date much on this site cause of the bull shit, | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:13:44 PM | Lol wrecks! I would say the $1.00 store is closer. 
I've met & dated several guys from POF and gotta say the majority had issues, minor or major. But that's not the real problem.
The real problem is the Illusion of having so many choices, but in fact there are not. Too many 'possible' choices or options,too hard to pick. But if you pick them they don't pick you back.
Too many choices leads to indecision and unhappiness with your selection. At the first sign of a disagreement what happens? Back on the dating site looking around again, unwilling to accept any imperfections. Hello, people are all imperfect.
Dating people you meet in real life eliminates some of the above problems. Not all, but some. | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:21:41 PM | You are right. The old way of meeting people is still the best. True, it is not for everyone but it does have it's possibilities. That is why I am here. I wish you all the best in love and happiness.
Rod | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:28:38 PM | Re post 14 as it relates to the Opost:
1) "Too many choices leads to indecision and unhappiness with your selection."
Yeah, right, monopolies and oligopolies (and big brothers a la USSR) are best, because they alleviate the burden of choice and using one's mind. I guess comminism is creeping into the dating eco-nomics (dating-nomics)!!1
2) "At the first sign of a disagreement what happens? Back on the dating site looking around again, unwilling to accept any imperfections. Hello, people are all imperfect"
That assumes that people are meant to have LTRs. What is the basis for such an assumption?
3) "Dating people you meet in real life eliminates some of the above problems. Not all, but some."
In what way does it do so?
IRL as in bars? Lovely!!! I will not elaborate on the lovely antics of bar induced dates.
Re the OPost:
The IRL way works? Really? How? Wow! Of course it CAN work, but datind collegues leads to problems, same for neighbors and using the bars, of well, we have all been there, done that and got fed up!
Like Democracy, "Online Dating" may not be perfect, but it is the best system around.
Cheers!
Chin up, ya all! | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:31:43 PM | you are so right. Not sure what people are expecting. I think we all get lonely, and just want to be with someone. Maybe it works maybe it doesn't. If it doesn't we learn from it and see we are not such a bad person. We just need to find ourselves. Then we will find that special person. I hope you find them. Possibly not on online dating, but somewhere in the world. They are their you just have to be patient.
see ya,
cyn48 | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:51:06 PM | | Speak for your self,for I've had very few problems with online dating. I was patient and went by character,and before I knew it I found a man that treats me right and we'll be together a year in June. Online dating works for the patient,understanding,positive,and more mature individuals.If you want to avoid the dirt bags that are on here,you need to open your eyes a little more and stop thinking in such a negative way. If you think like that then all you will attract is negativity.What's the old fashion way? Relationships in the past used to be commonly arranged ones,or you had your good ol bar scene which usually doesn't last. And dating someone at work isn't a good option.Online dating gives many opportunities of getting to know one another first before meeting physically. Plus it's much safer unless you plan on meeting every Joe that messages you.Of course online dating has it's down falls too,but,everything in this world has a down fall too and is usually far worse then online dating lol! | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:59:58 PM | re post 20
Got to agree. I cannot remember the last time I dated a woman whom I did NOT meet from online or work/business related situations. And the latter tend to get messy.
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In addition, I see that the dinosaur concept of finding that special one with whom one will spend the rest of one's life together is, unlike the dinos, alive and kicking! But if one takes away arranged marriages and the like, the chances of finding and keeping that ONE special one "forever" are slimmer than any lottery.
Got to look at the bright side of life (and online dating)! | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/19/2008 9:15:09 PM | | i actually agree with u euphoric, well said as well, and im not leaving but im not expecting to meet anyone special either. | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/19/2008 9:25:02 PM |
To the OP: the info given states you joined this past Feb. Its only May..why not give it a little more time?
Sounds like she's had plenty fun in the short time she's been here - and you want her to have some more?
Best of luck , Euphoric. | |
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| saying goodbye to online dating
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:44:46 PM | -Like everything else in life it's pretty much what you make of it. There are good points and bad points in everything. Liars and cheats both on line and off line. The best strategy I can think of is to have little expectations and just try to have fun and enjoy.
I have to say I agree w/this statement b/c honey, the cold reality is that there are snakes out there whether you meet them online or off. So just b/c you meet a person offline, does not mean everything is going to be wonderful either {believe me, I know}. As the user above said, you just have to live life w/little expectation so that you can just have fun and enjoy what the new situation is. I know this is easier said than done but I really don't care what manner a person finds their true mate so long as that person ends up becoming that true mate. | |
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