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| Olivia Newton-John Sez: If You Love Me, Let Me Know
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:35:49 PM | This thread is based on an actual conversation I was privy to. Although the subjects are women, I think it's a universal issue:
Gertrude: I met this really cool guy. Every time I see him, I enjoy
my time with him more and more.
Friend: Cool!
Gertrude: Yea, it is cool you know; just really enjoying getting to
know him.
Friend: Yes. You can't email him too much, though.
Gertrude: Really? Why?
Friend: That will make him think you are a freak who has no life
outside of stalking him
Gertrude: What?! Really? When did all these rules come out? Man, is
this what I missed from not dating in a long time?
Friend: Oh yea.
Gertrude: Well, I have a life, but what if I'm a freak anyway? And
would letting him know that I'm thinking about him make me a stalker?!
Friend: You DON'T want to come off as needy and desperate!!! Trust me.
Gertrude: haha. Ok. Aren't we all a bit needy? I don't think
just sharing your feelings makes one desperate does it?
Friend: Man, you really have no clue how relationships work do you?
You have to act like you don't like them that much. You have to make sure
you don't respond too quickly to their calls or emails! Promise me
you'll let at least 5 hours go by before answering an email to any guy.
Gertrude: OMG! You have got to me f*cking with me, right? This is a
joke constructed by people who have nothing better to do then torture the
rest of us right?
Friend: NO! Trust me. To develop a good relationship with someone,
never tell them how you feel, pretend you aren't thinking about them.
Ignore them a little.
Gertrude: *quietly bangs head against desk repeatedly*
(end)
Is it so bad to let a person know if you like him/her? I tend to proceed according to a person's words and actions, and if someone doesn't seem particularly interested in spending time with me, I'm happy to move along. It would seem to work against one's best interests to act aloof if you like someone because you'd run the risk that the other person will be discouraged and give up. Do mentally healthy people behave this way? | |
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| Olivia Newton-John Sez: If You Love Me, Let Me Know
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:46:56 PM | 1. I have this song on my ipod, and came here falsely thinking this thread was actually about ONJ and her music.
2. The song is about someone you're already in a relationship letting you go if they don't really want to be with you, not the game of dating people you don't know.
3. Nothing wrong with letting someone know you're interested - but I think gushing overly emotional grand gestures or giving people too much information too soon is a bad thing. Pacing yourself is never bad, and a little dance 0f interest is always good for the beginning stages of any "relationship". I don't like ignorance or smothering behavior - both will make me lose interest. Someone who's confident and relaxed and doesn't care where things go is more attractive to me than someone who's breathing down my neck. | |
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| Olivia Newton-John Sez: If You Love Me, Let Me Know
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:48:19 PM | Those stupid little mind games should have stopped back in high school.
I can guarantee that playing headgames with someone like that will end a budding relationship far faster than being honest with your feelings.
If you like someone... you TELL THEM. You don't tease, or act uninterested.
Cause for the most part... if you act like you're not interested... people will assume you're not interested. And they'll go to find someone who's worth their time.
Nobody who has any self respect is going to put up with someone who treats them and their feelings like some sort of game.
If someone writes you, answer as soon as it's convenient for you. You don't have to go out of your way to answer as soon as possible... but don't wait when there's no reason to.
If you go out with someone... then at the end of the night, tell them what you thought.
Don't act like you had a good time if you didn't, and don't pretend you're not interested if you are.
After a date, I will always write the person the next day. To tell them what I thought of the date. Basically confirming what I told them at the end of the date, and it also lets them know that I was serious about it, and not just trying to be polite so I could disappear on them without guilt.
And if I'm interested... I'll ask them about getting together again.
Some people come up with stupid "rules" about waiting X amount of days... or that the woman shouldn't respond first... and other crap like that. Sorry, the ladies who play those games, generally don't get more dates.
And personally, I love it when a woman is assertive enough to make the first move. Be it contacting me first... or writing soon after a date... or even grabbing me a kissing me first...
Assertiveness is a very attractive trait in a person. And very much admired.
There is never anything wrong with letting someone know you're interested.
The only time someone would seem like a stalker... is if they're acting like one.
If you're writing the guy 20 times a day (without him actually responding in between)... stuff like that. It's okay to tell someone you like them... but to tell them that you love them and want to marry them the first time you meet might be a bit much.
Although... my dad told my mom that he wanted to marry her and spend his life with her at the end of their first date. They got married in a week of meeting.
They've been happily married for over 40 years now. :) | |
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| Olivia Newton-John Sez: If You Love Me, Let Me Know
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:33:49 PM |
Who makes up these rules?
The people writing all of those silly "self help" books. Be assured, they are indeed helping themselves, preying on the wallets of the gullible, lovelorn and insecure by making up silly dating rules. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"...please, we're all from the same fraking planet, Earth; deal with it!  | |
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