| Cuddle Party
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:48:31 PM | I was just replying to a post in another forum and though I would so a sort of survery in the Sask forums to see if anyone else has any thoughts.
"Has anyone experienced this phenomenon and what is your reaction? Varoius organizations hold an event called a snuggle or cuddle party or event. They spend some time reading the rules. No sex, no nudity, no touching privates and no doing anything that is not explicitly granted by the other person involved. 25-40 people congregate on mats, futons or blankets, with pillows, and hug, cuddle, spoon, talk, stroke, massage, brush hair, exchange ideas, laugh, play. I saw one couple playing cat and dog and chasing each other. 4 for 5 or more might spoon or pile on top each other. It is soooooooo much fun and it gives you affection and human contact without going too far, crossing boundaries and breaking hearts."- *thanks to Meface, who I quoted from another forum*
From www.cuddleparty.com:
WHAT TO WEAR: Pajamas - nothing too risqué. Think more comfy than sexy. (More drawstrings, less lace. No shorts.)
WHAT TO BRING: A pillow or stuffed animal if you like. Juice or sparkling cider is always welcome. Sorry, no liquor folks. Otherwise, just bring your smiling self.
STICK TO THE RULES:
Rule # 1 - Pajamas stay on the whole time.
Rule # 2 - You don't have to cuddle anyone at a Cuddle Party, ever.
Rule # 3 - You must ask permission and receive a verbal YES before you touch anyone. (Be as specific in your request as you can.)
Rule # 4 - If you're a Yes to a request, say YES. If you're a No, say NO.
Rule # 5 - If you're a Maybe, say NO.
Rule # 6 - You are encouraged to change your mind.
Rule # 7 - Respect your relationship boundaries and communicate with your partner.
Rule # 8 - Come get the Cuddle Caddy or ME if there's a concern, problem, or should you feel unsafe or need assistance with anything today.
Rule # 9 - Tears and laughter are both welcome.
Rule # 10 - Respect people's privacy when sharing about Cuddle Parties and do not gossip.
Rule #11 - Keep the Cuddle Space Tidy
Rule #12 - Thank you for arriving on time.
*thanks to imaltltpot for the above info*
So, would anyone seriously consider going to this sort of event, and why or why not? Just a thought on something different from the norm. | |
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| Cuddle Party
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:59:25 PM | Actually, I have seen something about this type of event, on television. It looked interesting, however, I really don't know how safe this would actually be. If these "rules" and guidelines are followed, to the letter, then, I think it would be quite safe. However, I'm just a little iffy on that fact that everyone would actually follow these rules.
Also, one thing I do like about this is....it reminds me of the old days, when I gentleman HAD to ask permission to hold a lady's hand, or kiss her, or touch her in any way. Now-a-days....we just grope and grab, most have lost the art of asking permission, women included. We have lost the art of "seduction", "enticement", etc. And now, it seems, the thought of doing what was once a normal practice, has become a "novelty".
I might be interested in checking this out, just to satisfy my curiosity. haha | |
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| Cuddle Party
Posted: 5/17/2008 12:56:41 AM | | I agree. You made some great points. I think a lot of people don't know what real intimacy is, and would rather get right to the point. I first heard of it when I saw it on Scott Bao (sp?) is 45 and Single, and they had something called a massaage taboggan (again, sp?) and a hugging/introduction before the actual snuggling/cuddling took place. As far as rules being followed, I wondered the same thing myself, but the optimist in me believes that the people willing to participate in such an event would be mature enough to respect and understand that the rules are there for a reason and some people don't feel comfortable with strangers invading their personal space. All in all, I think it sounds pretty fun. | |
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Posted: 5/17/2008 3:11:21 AM | I watched a documentary on "Cuddle Parties", and it was really quite interesting. There were sofas, blankets, mats, love seats, candles, incense burners, massage oils....etc. The rule for massage giving/ or getting was, pajama bottoms (and bras/bikini tops, for the ladies) remained ON at all times. Everyone was introduced to each other before the "Cuddling" started. It all seemed so....intimate....yet casual, relaxing, and friendly. There were men cuddling women, women cuddling men, women cuddling women, and men hugging/cuddling men. It seemed as if everyone was letting their guards down and just "being". If you know what I mean by that? No fears of hugging the same sex, showing of emotions with all involved.
The idea of a "Cuddle Party" really did catch my attention. | |
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| Cuddle Party
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:10:36 PM | this sounds more like a foreplay party
who goes and cuddles strangers?
are there std checks done on all participants first?
last thing someone wants is to catch something thru a cuddle party lol | |
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| Cuddle Party
Posted: 7/4/2008 3:03:20 PM |
this sounds more like a foreplay party
who goes and cuddles strangers?
It called intimacy not foreplay.....
are there std checks done on all participants first?
Why on earth would you NEED an STD check when there is NO sexual intercourse involved????
This is EXACTLY what I was talking about.....many in society today have NO clue what true intimacy is. So many seem to think that ANY form of "being intimate" lead to sexual intercourse, when in reality it does NOT. | |
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Posted: 7/4/2008 4:52:55 PM | | I agree Ren ^^^^^^ Few people know what true intimacy is, and the only way an std could be spread is if a std+ person drooled all over that open cut you might have. Lol. ......... and who wants to cuddle with someone who drools? LOL | |
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Posted: 7/4/2008 9:33:24 PM |
and who wants to cuddle with someone who drools? LOL
I cuddle with someone who drools.......my grandson....LOL
But if my man drools....ewwwwwwwwww that's just icky....lol | |
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Posted: 7/5/2008 6:45:59 AM | | Oh Yeah......but baby drool is mostly okay, along with other baby secretions.'giggles to self' | |
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| Cuddle Party
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:28:40 PM | Yup, baby drool is mostly ok.....lol But like I said if my man drools....ewwwwwwwwww icky....lol
I just have no idea why anyone would need an STD check if there is no sexual intercourse involved. As you said, the only way to contact something from a "cuddle party" is to have the person drool all over and open cut you may have.
It's just sad that some people have no idea what real intimacy is......sigh. | |
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Posted: 7/12/2008 7:42:31 AM | I thought I'd add my two cents (for what it's worth) on the topic.
In theory something like this is very 'pleasant' sounding. However, to claim this is any sort of real intimacy is a bit of a stretch. I could be wrong here, but my perception of intimacy includes more then just a physical act. It comes from trust, understanding, and acceptance. It's the amount of quality time that one person puts in to a relationship with selfless abandon. I could be old school here, but its absurd to think a complete stranger could provide the kind of feeling, or safety a friend, partner or family member could with just a simple hug. I've heard of these 'parties' in the past- and this is merely my opinion- but it seems more a gathering of lonely individules either seeking a temporary relief from loneliness, or a false sense of security. At any rate it's fleeting, brisk, and not at all the kind of activity that would provide anyone with any sort of lasting fulfillment. There is also the idea that you need to 'ask' permission, since clearly you don't know this person they're only reason for deciding as to whether or not you are worthy of their "intimacy" is physical (sexual attraction) again- not intimacy.
Maybe I am a prude, but I prefer get my 'cuddle' the old fashioned way- by earning it.  | |
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Posted: 7/17/2008 9:21:37 PM | in response to "Why on earth would you NEED an STD check when there is NO sexual intercourse involved????"
not all stds require sexual intercourse to be spread. some can get ya from kissing or touching and yes even hugging
in my experience at any party where the main event is termed as intimacy, the participants really are there for one reason and one reason only. there is no need to hug a stranger unless its a genuine hug
realistically tho since only willing participants would attend, the chance of someone being misled and taken advantage of or manipulated is very high at an event like this
someone could easily take advantage of someone with low self worth or self esteem , as we know people with high self worth and self esteem wouldnt be up for get togethers associated with meaningless emotional or semi sexual gratification derived from some pity hug
i am fully aware of what intimacy is and cuddling strangers isnt intimacy, its a cop out or a trade off for something real
sorry if fantasy is "your thing" then by all means , succumb to pretend intimacy. for the real deal though it requires trust, honesty and real emotional attachment, what this concept of cuddle parties does is cheapen that whole concept and packages it in a neat tidy container , a container that is open to all sorts of misconceptions and i dont think advertising for semi sexual events is peritted.
advertising it would in turn make you responsible for the participant safety at the event, and since its a group of strangers. how can u even beging to pretend you know what type of wackos might attend?
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rule # 1 - Pajamas stay on the whole time.
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who on earth would wear pajamas to a cuddle party? what purpose is there in pajamas if not for cheep feels? why arent these cuddles being done in regular clothes?
the whole thing reeks of some 60s free love in to me
thats ok if thats the intention but be up front about it
why wear pajamas?
must say this is one odd thread lol | |
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Posted: 7/17/2008 9:45:56 PM |
not all stds require sexual intercourse to be spread. some can get ya from kissing or touching and yes even hugging
Ummm, I would suggest you do some scientific research....only one of these things that you can get anything from is KISSING and that is mono. There is NO way possible to get an STD from a TOUCH or a simple HUG! Not unless BOTH parties have open sores. It is the mingling of bodily fluids that can transmit STD's.
realistically tho since only willing participants would attend, the chance of someone being misled and taken advantage of or manipulated is very high at an event like this
someone could easily take advantage of someone with low self worth or self esteem , as we know people with high self worth and self esteem wouldnt be up for get togethers associated with meaningless emotional or semi sexual gratification derived from some pity hug
Just by these mere comments above is proof enough for me to know that you, indeed do not have the slightest clue what true intimacy is. These hugs and and cuddles are NOT a PITY FEST, it is INTIMACY. It is NOT a "cop out" or a "trade off".
advertising it would in turn make you responsible for the participant safety at the event, and since its a group of strangers. how can u even beging to pretend you know what type of wackos might attend?
There are "security" persons available at ALL times while the party is in progress, if anything should happen. Though, I honestly do not see anything happening at one of these events, as the people who attend these functions have a higher understanding of "intimacy" and "respect" for themselves, as well as for the other guests involved.
who on earth would wear pajamas to a cuddle party? what purpose is there in pajamas if not for cheep feels? why arent these cuddles being done in regular clothes?
the whole thing reeks of some 60s free love in to me
thats ok if thats the intention but be up front about it
why wear pajamas?
If you expect to get a "cheap feel" , a cuddle party is DEFINATELY not for you.....this is NOT about getting cheap thrills, or ANY "Sexual" gratifaction whatsoever. These cuddle parties are exactly what they claim to be......CUDDLE PARTIES, NO sex of any kind, period. It is about RESPECT of yourself and EVERYONE involved. Can you honestly claim to respect yourself if the first thing you think of when you hear the term "Cuddle Party" is ....sex....sex...sex.....cheap feel?
Intimacy=R E S P E C T (for yourself and others) | |
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Posted: 7/18/2008 6:30:14 AM | Ummm, I would suggest you do some scientific research
well herpes can be passed thru skin touching. since cold sores transfer that way, god knows what orher diseases can be transferred as well, these so called scientists are always finding out new diseases and they are also always mutating , so if ya wanna petend you know it all thats fine but be accurate. id rather err on he side of caution tho.
it isnt just stds tho , theres flus,step throat etc all kindsa stuff
if everyone at this [arty is safe then why the security? how can you manitain intimacy and yet have security people there?
kinda defeats the purpose i think
you still never explained why people would dress in pajamas in order to hug another person?. personally i think if a person respected themselves and their partner they would wait to be intimate until they were in a relationship and knew enough about each other to know they could be intimate with eachother | |
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| Cuddle Party
Posted: 7/18/2008 11:40:26 AM |
well herpes can be passed thru skin touching. since cold sores transfer that way, god knows what orher diseases can be transferred as well, these so called scientists are always finding out new diseases and they are also always mutating , so if ya wanna petend you know it all thats fine but be accurate. id rather err on he side of caution tho.
it isnt just stds tho , theres flus,step throat etc all kindsa stuff
First.....Herpes, the kind that is found in a Cold Sore, Complex 1, can be passed by a kiss, can be caused by stress to your lip area, can be caused from licking your lips too much.....many causes. But, is far LESS dangerous than Herpes Complex 2. As for catching strep throat or the flu, if you don't want to catch those, I'd suggest you not leave your house, the flu, and several other diseases, are AIR BORN, don't breath, you may catch a cold. (paraniod much)
if everyone at this [arty is safe then why the security? how can you manitain intimacy and yet have security people there?
kinda defeats the purpose i think
Hmmmm It's a little early, isn't it? For stupid questions........Let's see, why would people hire or ask friends or family to act as "security" at their wedding? Because SH*T happens. It is a precautionary measure, nothing more. And the people who act as security at these fumctions are the "FACILITATORS" the people who have set up the function. I'd suggest, if you want to comment on these things, read up and learn about the subject FIRST!!
you still never explained why people would dress in pajamas in order to hug another person?. personally i think if a person respected themselves and their partner they would wait to be intimate until they were in a relationship and knew enough about each other to know they could be intimate with eachother
If you want to KNOW why the pajamas, I'd suggest you research "Cuddle Parties", it is not up to me to "Teach" YOU what life is all about....again, research the subject before you make a comment. Knowledge IS power!!
You are entitled to your opinion, however, it would be MUCH better if it were an INFORMED opinion. | |
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Posted: 8/9/2008 3:13:54 PM | Naw. I saw this twenty years ago at a rave. It's a Cuddle Orgy and kinda Poly to me. Personally I prefer intimacy to be between me and a woman and thats where I draw my line. Even if the 'e' is pure and true I would pass. (I don't touch chems anyhow).
For those who might want to know more about the affects of cuddling there is a book titled, 'The Alchemy of Love and Lust' by Teresa Crenshaw that documents these human hormones and the affects of them. I bought it when I heard about it because I wanted to understand why I often got so stoned fooling around in foreplay. It's a fantastic book for those wanting to understand more about themselves. The book is long outta print but you can find pretty good used ones online cheap. | |
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