| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:07:22 PM | | I dont understand how a man can be nice to a girlfriend or even a wife and say he loves her and be with her and then an hour later be with his buddies or other people and talk trash about her. or talk about another women. i see guys do it all the time and i lose all respect for them. i just dont understand and because of seeing this i cant have a honest relationship for fear that the man im with will do this behind my back. i dont want to have to worry but its hard not to when i just dont understand it!!! | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:19:47 PM | | it saves him nagging and he can further avoid any "communication", which to women is them talking and men listening. alot of the times we dont have the heart to tell you what we really think of you aswell..... | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:23:25 PM | | Sometimes you just want to vent to your friends when your girlfriend is being a pain the ass and get some feedback. You are terrified of relationships because someone might mention to their friends when you act like an ass? no wonder you're single | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:35:31 PM |
its guys like you luke that make all guys look bad
Yes I'm the devil, you caught me..
But getting back to your quesiton. As men we find other women besides their wife or girlfriend attractive. What's the big deal with that? It doesn't mean we are sleeping with these other women they discuss. And while trashing someone behind their back is generally not cool, in situations where your girlfriend is in the wrong there's no reason why you can't discuss it with your friends. You are perhaps too sensitive and controlling for your own good. | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:37:33 PM |
I dont understand how a man can be nice to a girlfriend or even a wife and say he loves her and be with her and then an hour later be with his buddies or other people and talk trash about her. or talk about another women. i see guys do it all the time and i lose all respect for them. i just dont understand and because of seeing this i cant have a honest relationship for fear that the man im with will do this behind my back. i dont want to have to worry but its hard not to when i just dont understand it!!!
Are you being intentionally hypocritical or do you just no women in your office/life? Women talk trash about guys almost nonstop and they quite often will be far more vicious than any guy. | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:44:33 PM | It's called venting and no it is not gender specific. You go talk about the partner and such so you don't get more upset than you should.
A lot of girls in the past have talked to me about there current b/f behind there back. Back when I was a doormat and let women take advantage of my kindness. I got tired of hearing it also so I stopped doing it.
Best of luck to everyone  | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:55:02 PM | | Personally, I think bashing to anyone at any time is disrespectful and very immature. When I was with my former S.O., I only bragged on him to others, even when we had problems. And by the way, *discussing* problems with your friends does not = bashing the woman in your life. If she's that bad, why be with her? There is no reason, ever, IMO to bash your S.O. To this day, I don't bash my former S.O., no matter what anger I had. I think when people do that, it says a lot more about them than it does the person they're bashing. That just isn't the way mature adults behave, sorry. | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:02:39 PM | | Don't generalize, men in healthy relationships do not bash their women, they honor them. I only date women I really respect and I show that respect to them in person and when they are not around. I speak very highly about them to everyone in my life. I also maintain intimacy by not discussing issues that are private between us. Also I do not linger and repress my issues with her, I discuss them openly with her instead of building up resentment. Resentment has killed many a relationship, it just means you are not ready or strong enough to be open about your needs and feelings and thoughts with your woman. You are not ready for a mature relationship. So what are you going to do? Whine about such things like teenagers to your other immature friends? Guess what? That means your maturity level is still that of a teenager and points out that you need to continue to work on yourself. Perhaps it also means it's time to move on. But before jumping into another relationshp, to take the time to be introspective and learn to be more aware of areas where you need to grow. Sometimes taking some time out for yourself will help this growth process. | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:21:13 PM | | How can women be with a man and talk trash behind his back because she think he's talking trash about her after being with her after she talked trash behind his back after she saw him talk trash after taking out the trash behind her back that she was talking about after he took out the trash? | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:36:41 PM | Although we don't sit around and share our feelings like you women do with each other, we do talk about women behind their backs because, like one poster said, they can be a PITA at times.
Just like you womens do about us.  | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:39:39 PM | Oh yeah, and you can love and respect someone even when they piss you off and you go and complain about them with your friends... it's all a normal part of normal relationships.
If you think it's all smooth and lovey-dovey, then you're in for a big shock. | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/17/2008 9:06:39 AM | | well, when my ex use to be-little me, insult, criticed, destroy my ego in front of her friends and mind as well, I would turn to her and say, "could you wait until I left the room before you start this. Then my friends would each raise there hands and ask if they can leave with me too. There girlfriends where there, soon there SO would take the mic and floor. Talk behind my back, I wish you do that! for reason I wont mention. Ok I will, I just dont care to hear it. | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/17/2008 9:20:50 AM | i was once described (by employees of mine) that they didn't have to worry about me "talking behind their backs" because "he'll embarrass you to your face"...it bothered me for a while until i figured out thats the way it should be. it keeps the issue between the only two people it should be between.
dave | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:40:22 PM | I'm glad to hear that you don't put up with this kind of behaviour. Especially when it is persistent. There are guys out there who have a clear policy of not talking behind their partner's back, and not talking behind anyone's back for that matter. It is in my opinion immature and ineffective at getting anything done.
Having a mature discussion about one's partner with a good and intelligent friend is quite helpful when we reach difficult points in a relationship, but I think what you're talking about is not this kind of talking.
The couple need to be happy and communicative between themselves to avoid that kind of rude behind the back talking too though. If I feel welcomed by my partner to discuss issues in the relationship, and if we have a tradition of listening to eachother and discussing an issue all the way to its concluesion, not leaving the discussion half way through, then there is no need to talk outside of the relationship. | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:47:59 PM |
i was once described (by employees of mine) that they didn't have to worry about me "talking behind their backs" because "he'll embarrass you to your face"...it bothered me for a while until i figured out thats the way it should be. it keeps the issue between the only two people it should be between.
I understand what you are saying, but I would never say it's ok to embarrass anyone to their face or otherwise be demeaning to them. It may happen by mistake only. | |
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| why do men talk about women or their women behind her back?
Posted: 5/17/2008 6:12:57 PM | You've seen guys with their buddies and heard them slating their Girlfriends and you've noticed that they often notice and make comments about other women. Some do, some don't but don't some girls slate their Boyfriends and notice other men?
Sure they do.
I think men are often inclined to avoid deep conversation when out with 'The Lads'. Seeing an attractive girl and saying 'Wayhay... she'd get it!' to their mates is a way for them to converse with each other in a very shallow level. Men tend to keep their most intimate feelings to themselves rather than to share them openly with friends. Some men see 'Love' as a private thing they share with the woman in their lives. Slating their Girlfriends to each other is a great way to keep their actual thoughts and feelings out of the conversation.
I haven't given very much thought to this answer. I don't mean to pay light mind to your question but I'm not in the mood for thinking. 
When you Love someone you become vulnerable because of that Love. It can be a source of strength but Love can very often lead to hurt and heartbreak and so, in Love, you have a weakness. A weakness that perhaps you don't want your friends to recognize... Especially if you're a man... Made of sterner stuff we are.
But what about groups of girls?.. The conversation they keep?
They can often speak to their friends more intimately and honestly about their relationships than their opposite sex but lets not just ignore a real truth...
Quite often, girls are just as guilty of talking... ****ing... behind their partners back and I think girls are often capable of sharing intimate details about their relationship that could cause a man to lose his respect for them. | |
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