| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/17/2008 12:55:29 AM | | before I ask my question let me just say that, NO, this is not a "will someone please come **** me!" pity thread. I was just wounding if there were any girls out there that have had good sexual experiences or sexual relationships with disabled guys? or dose anyone know someone else who has had a good sexual experiences or sexual relationships with disabled guys? | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:20:21 AM | Nup sorry never have.
Same as any kinda sexual relationship though...I expect you kinda just deal with the situation when the moment arises.
Same as say ...oh I dunno...having sex with a pregnant woman.
^^^You aint never gonna live that down  | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:47:15 AM | Well, one of my good friends is a paralyzed from the waist down and confined to a wheelchair (that's is one pimped out chair!). Anyho...he gets plenty of booty (which he loves)...BUT in the end all of the women so far have just been using him for the little bit of money he has. Sad really.....and I've cussed out plenty of them. There was one chick, that after a week, wanted to move her and her FOUR (she was only 23) kids in!!! Others will want him to pay their cell phone bill, car payment, etc.
Will say tho...I've never head any of those ladies complain about him being bad in the sack. Quite the opposite actually.
~Welder's Girl~ | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/17/2008 3:08:25 AM | | ya, well I don't care kyn, i'm not responding to stuff like that any more. | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:06:39 AM | Number one what is sex???
but I have heard and seen many people who date and have married people with a disability and they even have children so that might be because they've done it ..... but being a private thing I don't know if they would want to say much about it.
Also what type of disability are you talking about???? | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:39:06 AM | A few years ago I had the experience of sex with a disabled man. He was paralysed after a motor bike accident. His entire aim was to please the woman. He had no feelings waist down what so ever. I asked him why he bothers if it's only to please the woman. He told me it's what gets him off.....seeing a woman's pleasure being fulfilled. Sadly he began to depend on illegal drugs to see him through.....pity he was cute! | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/17/2008 9:07:20 AM | I have, actually. I was in a relationship with a guy who was stuck in a wheelchair after a severe car accident.
My experiences were just fine, the relationship itself just didn't work out to well. :)
Good luck with your search, OP. | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:25:26 AM | My grandmother, at the age of 19, was going out with my grandfather when she got polio.
She lost the ability to walk for the rest of her life. She was confined to a wheelchair.
My grandfather stayed with her for 50 years until she passed from the eventual relapse that took away the rest of her physical capacity.
They had five children, and raised all of them into married, responsible adults. My mother was one of them.
The reason why my grandfather never left?
He enjoyed the kinkiness of the whole thing. He'd take the time to kiss his wife whenever he picked her up out of bed and put her into her wheelchair. He loved her.
He became an electrician, and was one of the ones who wired Hangar One in the South Bay, which is used to hold space shuttles and blimps.
My grandmother became an activist for the rights of handicapped people everywhere. You can thank her (as well as her colleagues in San Jose) for starting the spread of putting in wheelchair ramps anywhere that there is construction on an intersection, for example.
It happens. It is possible. You just need to make sure you are honest with yourself about what you really need from your lover, and what you are ready to offer her.
Personally, I think you'll be fine. You seem attractive and intelligent, so I doubt you'll have trouble finding someone who will accept and love you as long as you stay positive and friendly. That's what all the rest of us do.
~ David | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:39:31 AM | Years back, I hassled a friend who used a wheel chair (in my defense, days earlier she cornered me to ask me embarrassing questions about my old sister who she was best friends with). Let's call her Alice (although her name did not start with an A).
This was at a program for youths with disabilities (yeah, I have a neurological disability, but I manage my life and most people never notice because I have been managing it since I was 7 years old) and at the "Dating and Relationships panel" of this week long program (google California Youth Leadership Forum) I decided to get even with Alice for the teasing earlier that week.
At this panel Alice was trying to get the delegates (fancy word for students) to open up on a topic that is often considered taboo. So she said, "Come on, ask us anything. Even 'How to make love to a woman in a wheelchair?' But you have to ask before I'll tell you."
So I smirked a grin any smug 18 year old would and said, "Hey Alice, how should I make love to a woman in a wheelchair?" Yes, I did do one of those "How you doing"/Joey friends inflections.
As to a general question, like any people it depends on what the two individuals are capable of accomplishing physically.
In your case, you use a manual wheelchair, that means you have the use of (at least) your arms. There is plenty you are capable of, but only you can know for sure.
Granted no woman is gonna try to pull you just for sex, but few men have that experience. So who cares? | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/17/2008 12:57:34 PM | | A person is a person no matter what is physically different. That said, I have dated a man who had cerebral paulsy, it didnt affect his mind and he could still walk, but not very well. He couldnt lift his legs much further than a couple of inches and walked at a turtle pace. We had a good thing, sex was actually pretty incredible lol... his legs shook a lot and it did help. I gues it just depends on the person adn if hey can accept others by their "imperfections". I don't personaly consider such problmes to be an imperfection, it's something that people really should learn to accept instead of pointing it out in a croud. I got teased a lot for dating him, but I stayed.. He ended up being a jerk lol | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:23:34 PM | get the movie "my left foot". many disabled people have relationships and others "just sex". physical and occupational therapists are available to help if it's a structural issue. in certain states they have "surrogates" to assist, although not sure why that's different than prostitution. maybe a bit more trained in psych.
if all you want is sex, you will be limited just like everyone else. if you want a relationship, it will take just as much work as everyone else to find it. if it's not one thing, it's another. you need to find your niche based upon your ideas, who you are, how you spend your time, etc. don't look for pity and you won't find it. people who prey on disabled people and/or control freaks usually seek pitypots. i'd say, in general, men have less problems with disabilties in attracting women--unless the women are proven independent. women have more issues with predators. but that is a generalization only.
ps your profile suggests a first date "at home". it may make you feel better, but i'd suggest acting like everyone else and meeting outside the home. this gets into transportation, but if you can go to school, you can figure out a first meet and a follow-up date. this shows that your disability doesn't hold you back.
ps david's granny did a great job in san jose. there is quite an activist community there for all things, including transportation. start joining (if necessary, starting) political groups and when you find her, you'll figure it out together! gaming is ok, but you need a balance with a social life.
ps i have lymes, so i'm not just "talking". | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:09:48 PM | w.g. that's really sad about your friend....i think i would have kicked their a$$ once i found out what they were doing to him.
other than that, no...i never had sex with anyone with a disability like that. hell, i haven't had sex in a while i'm beginning to forget what it is?
sorry schmoo...let me rephrase that.....i never had sex with anyone with a disability what so ever.
oh and btw, i have a disability, it's my shoulder as if some of you don't already know.  | |
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Schmoo
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Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 15 | |
| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:26:21 PM | I have to say on reading this thread...why do people assume that disabled means having no use in your legs/quite bad paralysis/wheelchair users????
Disability covers a huge range of things from hearing loss, partial sight, problems with use of limbs, speech, etc...
Its unfair for anyone to judge someone by what they consider to be "normal" and if you love someone then lack of ability in any area can be overcome by whatever means. If I met someone and fell in love with the person they were, disability would be irrelevant...its important to look beyond physical perfection (that really don't exist) and look for your soul mate (because I really believe that does)
Schmoo xx | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:29:24 PM | | I'm disabled myself. I have had a couple of relationships with disabled men. There was No difference in the quality of sex with disabled men vs. nondisabled men. It's all good. Don't worry about it, dude. Where there's a will, there's a way and it can be a heck of alot of fun figuring it all out | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:19:55 AM | I've wondered about this, and maybe, because you're a younger man and possibly less inhibited than some people my age, you can answer this for me.
The only significantly disabled people I've known in real life were either partnered-up in advance (hence out of bounds), or so far "out of my league" re: age, attractiveness, etc, that it's been irrelevant. In other words, over the past few years, I've noticed at least a couple of very attractive, wheelchair-bound men in passing (guys who I see on a day-to-day basis in the street or food-court that I frequent) ... and I just don't know what to say or what to think.
To be honest, the guys that I notice are VERY attractive. I'm trying to remember if there are are others that I DON'T notice, because they're not my "type," but it escapes me. It's quite possible, just like I don't particularly notice "able-bodied" men whom I don't find attractive.
But, man, please be honest and open here... if a woman is seriously attracted/interested, but is also inexperienced or uneducated about sexuality between a disabled and non-disabled person, what would be her best way to proceed? It seems kind of crass to ask a guy what he can "do," but it's also kind of stupid to assume satisfying sex would be a no-go.
Quite troubling, on both sides, in my opinion.
How would you prefer a sincerely interested person approach dating in the first place, and the topic of sexuality when it gets to that stage? Just out-and-out asking, or individual experimentation? | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/18/2008 1:24:05 AM | | i feel a little weird typing this, because in the end i probably won't follow my own advice, but here it gose anyways. you mentioned that you sometimes see the guys you are interested in at a food court that you like. if there sitting alone that mite be a good open, i know that like it when a girl sits with me, and start talkin to them, ask what there experience in a wheelchair has been like, see if you have some of the same interests. And as far as sex gose i'd say it wouldn't hurt to do a little reserch and see if there are special positions or other stuff that mite help, im still a virgin (im not the kind of guy thats afraid to admit that) but i know that when i am finally with a girl i would focus on making her happy and that would make me happy, remember four play and toys could be very useful. | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:09:35 AM | | i haven't personally but i have a mate who went out with somone for over a year. i don't think id' personally have a problem with it tho because it's the person not the problem i'm interested in. | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/18/2008 1:09:02 PM | When I was 18 I was involved with a 35 year old man, who was paralysed in a car accident. I will
never forget the first time we met I answered an advert he'd put in the personals of a local paper.
I had never known anyone with any sort of disability like this before & I was unsure how to broach
what I was sure was a very senitive subject. But we were chatting over coffee & I guess he suspected
what was bothering me, because he started explaining what type opf spinal injury he had (I don't
recall the correct terms), & he smiled & said "yes, I can still have sex, but you'll have to get on top."
It really wasn't a problem at all & it wasn't a factor in the relationship's ending. | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/18/2008 7:02:43 PM | people use wheelchairs for all sorts of reasons. if you take the most serious impact upon mobility, you can work your way up. i googled "spinal injury and sex". there was a list of many things to read. what caught my eye was the govt. website: http://www.ed.gov/pubs/AmericanRehab/spring97/sp9707.html
since this is not a commerical site, i believe it is acceptable to post. this article covers male and female sexuality, psychogenic versus physical arousal, fertility, technique and the different affects upon the person with the injury depending upon the extent and location of damage.
with every disability as mentioned before, there are experts in physical and occupational therapy who can help with positioning and sexual therapists who know the different assists to help out. when "superman" became totally immobile, an article was written by his wife after his death. in her instance, she had to do most of the "work". she loved him and no doubt is certainly glad she stuck with him. if you are mostly or partially mobile, you have way less worry.
go for it! as to male virginity, many young males are just making up their stories and/or certainly exaggerating. don't worry about it. but when you do go forth, remember to use safe sex!
that is from the mom point of view. people need to be way more open about these things and educate people who are not disabled, so they won't be so fearful because they just don't know what to do and are embarrassed to ask. so, bravo to the young woman above!!! you are an angel. 
and you OP, are a hero!!! so many probably have wanted to ask the same question. | |
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| sex with disabled people?
Posted: 5/18/2008 9:55:25 PM |
you mentioned that you sometimes see the guys you are interested in at a food court that you like. if there sitting alone that mite be a good open, i know that like it when a girl sits with me, and start talkin to them, ask what there experience in a wheelchair has been like, see if you have some of the same interests. And as far as sex gose i'd say it wouldn't hurt to do a little reserch
Ah, that's the thing. Those particular guys I notice are pretty hot (picture the wheelchair athletes in the Olympics), too young for me anyway, and they always seem to have a little entourage of women hovering around them, so it's irrelevant.
I was thinking more if I'm ever contacted online by a more ordinary disabled man, or someone in a wheelchair, about how you as an individual would feel once the discussion veered toward sexuality. I understand that every situation is different, and that's the tricky bit. Sex is important to me, but I've had extremely satisifying sex that didn't involve, in particular cases, an erect penis.
Maybe a few disabled, older, sexually experienced men, will come to this thread to offer their advice for those of us haven't had personal experience. That's the great thing about these forums.
I guess in a way I've answered my own question, here. It would be just the same as talking about sexuality with a non-disabled man. Feeling out ATTITUDES about it first, then later getting into specifics.
Thank you so much for answering, OP. I think it's great that you're thinking about these scenarios. Best wishes. And believe this, because I'm a testament: even sex-crazy women find particular guys in wheelchairs fantasy fodder. It's not the chair, it's the guy. Just like other guys. | |
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