| myprofile
Posted: 5/17/2008 9:53:51 AM | | im not sure if i can even type what i want-- Im sure there are things that i could improve on- im asking you to help me and maybe ill get a few emails out of a new and improved profile..lol thank you- and i can take bad mouthing but lets be tastefull | |
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| myprofile
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:08:12 AM | First things first....
Take down both current pics. Then clean your house. Next, get new pics... Better yet, get some outdoor pics. Girls see you laying around all day with junk around you on a couch... Then they realize you sleep in your clothes with the 2nd pic...
Your about me section... What is this... Romantic cliche writing 101... You don't say a single thing about your self. Why did you pick the name txcarebear... My daughters "USED" to watch Carebears.. My oldest is 6 now... Very rarely have I read a needier about me section...
Delete it all and actually talk about yourself... Not what you THINK girls want to hear... Cause guess what, THEY WANT TO HEAR THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU... Amazing concept isn't it. If you attempt to pander to what the movies say they want to hear you will either have no dates or a ton of really bad dates...
But, if you stick to the truth... You'll get exactly what you really want.... | |
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| myprofile
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:36:51 AM | Well, rats, this must be a work in progress, because the OP's profile has nothing in it now except a lot of "prefer not to says".
Perhaps he is taking your good advice and cleaning his house to take some better pics. Let's hope so.
OP, if you make changes to your profile, post again to this thread to get a second round of feedback. No need to start a new thread.
P.S. I agree about the "carebear" name. And yes, you CAN change your screenname here. Let me know if you want to do that, and I'll talk you through the steps. | |
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| myprofile
Posted: 5/17/2008 12:32:32 PM | | well-- i spent some time on the profile.. as far as the name-- im not sure i would liketo change it- | |
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| myprofile
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:52:34 PM |
I am a Lufkin born and Houston raised. Graduated HS in 1998 and college in 2003. I spent 8 years in the Marines where I had a great time.
Ok, there's a grammar error in there, but what is it really telling her? If you have a college degree, why would she care when you graduated high school? Also, does being born in one city and raised in another dramatically affect your personality? It's probably a good idea to explain where you grew up, because that molded you into who you are, and then you can blend that, the college experience, and the military experience into one part. Possibly something about why you moved back to Houston?
Spent 5 yrs of my life with a wife who decided one day that she just didnt love me any more; however I was able to get a wonderful son from her. He is 5 yrs old.
This should start with a personal pronoun, I spent... I say this part is more or less good. I'm willing to bet many women can relate to this experience, and you go on to point out a positive in the situation. It still needs some tweaking, for example, did your ex-wife really makes this decision in one day? Can you merge the second sentence into the first? (...I was able to get a wonderful 5 year old son.)
I have a full time job, and believe that family and friends are importnat. End the paragraph here. The next part is about interests. Spell important correctly.
I still have plenty of time for fun.
Redundant
I play softball every sunday with a league, I'm always looking for another league to join.
Sunday gets a capital letter. The comma splice here doesn't work, it should be "and I'm always looking"
If I have left holes that need to be filled, just write me and ask me
You've explained Sunday, what about Monday through Friday? I'm not suggesting you tell her everything, just that you've only describe one interest. Surely you have more.
Thank you and I hope that I am able to cause a spark of interest in your mind.
I'm iffy about this, is really necessary? Don't take my advice on this, maybe it is what girls want to read.
TTYL
Delete. First off, this should be at the end, not at the middle. Second off, it's how 12 year old girls end text conversations.
I know that's only the first part, and the same can be applied to everything after, but you're off to a good start. Just keep plugging away, and I'm sure someone will comment on the rest.
Good Luck-
Snu | |
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| myprofile
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:08:26 PM | | thank you-- I am starting to see why we dont even want to try online dating.. its almost as much work as my job, and Im not getting paid for this. | |
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| myprofile
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:11:06 PM | I have deleted a few things and spaced your profile out to make it an easier read. I am not one for re-doing profiles as i am lazy but hope this helps a bit.
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Well, I'd like to start off by saying I was born and raised in Lufkin, but now I've moved to Houston after departing from the Marine Corps. I have moved back to Houston to be closer to my family.
I have an active lifestyle, playing softball every Sunday. Was married for 5 years and have a 5 yr old son. I have a full time job, where I work weird hours, however I still have time for fun.
What am I looking for-- I would love to find a woman that loves the outdoors and can keep up with me in a high activity and a high stress environment. Some one that has their head on straight and wants a serious relationship. I am the kinda guy that will spoil a woman with love and affection. I must be attracted to you physically and mentally. | |
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| myprofile
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:20:37 PM | | i just did that indiallias-- i was just checking here again-- thats funny-- but you are right. it is easier to read that way. | |
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| myprofile
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:28:33 PM | No worries :)
feel free to copy and paste mine if you like i sorted some spelling out also, not saying it is all right lol but no bother either way.. | |
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