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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/17/2008 6:07:54 PM | Did a thread search and didn't find anything:
Whats your experiences in life with being late, being on time, being a little late, others who are often late, or others who just forget or don't show up, etc. Not really talking about first dates necessarily
What is permissible to you? Where do you draw the line? How bad is bad? what do you say to them or do about it?
HOW BAD ARE YOU? And why...what do people say to you? Thanks in advance. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/17/2008 6:16:55 PM | | what do you mean on dates? as long as they show up it's all good, or they tell me in advance that they're going to be late. But what does piss me off and I had this happen a few times is where we make plans for meeting up and they don't show up. I used to have a 3 chance rule but I made it a 2 chance rule on that, because I have better self respect for myself and I'm not tolerating crap like that anymore. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:27:52 PM | I am an "on time" person. I think within 10 min., is tolerable if you don't have a time limit to be somewhere.
When someone is constantly late.. more than 10 min., it is selfishness. They are not prioritizing or respecting your plans, time etc.
Now, when my patients show up late... that irritates the heck out of me because I have a tight schedule and if they are late, it is rude to the next patient etc. Don't be late to appointments. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:33:25 PM | Personally, I'd rather be 15 minutes early than 5 minutes late. That's just how I was raised. If you're meeting up with someone then 10 minutes-15 minutes is okay, but if it takes longer than that without so much as a phonecall to let you know that they are running late then forget it.
If its someone that you've known for a while and they are chronically late, then plan accordingly so you're not wasting your time. But anything later than a half hour minus a phone call is just disrespectful. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:34:23 PM | I always used to be early for everything and at worst, I would be on time for everything. Now I run late for everything, even when I make an effort to be early or on time, I run late. My friends and that understand that my being late has nothing to do with me or me being selfish. They know the reasons as to why I cannot be on time and they understand.
If people are late because they are being selfish that is one thing. Being late because you have a reason is another and sometimes there are valid reasons to be late.
~Carrie | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:47:12 PM | ahhh, the pressure of time is probably my number one stress inducer.
i am often 5 minutes late and occasionally 10 for less important things, but the stress to myself is so great, it is not worth it....and yet it seems inevitable i am often 5 minutes late (and, yes, even for appointments).
if it's an online meet, i always tell them 'don't worry i often run a few minutes late' and cell numbers are exchanged just before in case there's an emergency by either party.
it's never been a problem of the other person or me not turning up. i like to keep my word.
in fact, i have to go - or i'll be late for work!! (actually, when others are relying on me to relieve them, like at work, i am better with time.) so bye!  | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:51:30 PM | There is NOT reason to be late, especially with everyone having cell phones; if I even think I will or may be late, I call whoever I am meeting. Plus, I always add in 15mins to my travel time, justincase. Their are a few times, when an acccident was on the freeway and if I didn't allow for that buffer, I would have been late; and even then I call whoever [boss, date, etc] and let them know.
DO I give a 'grace period' sure, 5 mins. After that, I usually leave, unless that person had called BEFORE they were late and let me know. I was once told, "when someone is late, it means you weren't important enought for the other person to be on time." It's true. Someone being late, is a deal breaker, it's also very disrespectful and shows a lack of maturity.
Even at my doctor's office, they know I won't stick around if they are running late, I ask when I check in how long I will have to wait, if its more than 15mins after my appointemtn time, I ask to reschedule and tell them I cannot wait, but, in that case, I call before I leave and see if they are running behind and ask if they want me to come later to minimize my wait time. I get 'fast tracked' now [minimal wait time since I have been goign there for so long and they know I don't waste time] | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:56:21 PM | | If you are talking datewise I do not care if they are a bit late or a bit early, but I have run into way too many no/show no/calls and that is an instant three-strikes-your-out with me.. There is absolutely no excuse for not calling if you cannot show up, unless maybe you are dying. It takes about thirty seconds to get on your cell and say "Hey, I hate to do this, but I can't come tonight," for whatever reason or other. There are at least three women that I can immediately recall from pof, all three of whom are still listed as current, whom I will never deal with again because they were no/call/no/show. One of them called later and said she had a dentist appt, after I had driven forty miles. Another one had no explanation whatsoever after I had driven another forty miles, but she still sent messages to me until I finally blocked her. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:57:29 PM | "Did a thread search and didn't find anything:"
I do not know why everyone worries so much about whether a thread has already been done or not. New people will come here continually and the old threads will have a jillion responses on them. Nothing wrong with freshening it up, especially when it deals with important issues. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:09:24 PM | | I have no patience for people being late anymore. To me they are really saying..their time is more important then mine. Especially when the same person is constantly late. I had a GF that was always late. The last time this happened I told her that if she's late again I'm leaving without her....we never went out again. The same has happened with dates. Enough is enough. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/17/2008 9:11:25 PM | | If someone is late once in a while, no biggie. Such is life. But if someone is chronically late, that means they think that their time is more important than your time. That's just inconsiderate. I know a few people like that and they drive me nuts. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:14:05 PM | Oh my... I dunno if I am wise to admit it but okey-dokie... Here goes nuthin'...
I am one of those people who tries to cram too many things to do into too few minutes and then, I end up literally tripping over myself to get to where I am supposed to be on time. I've tried every trick in the book to stop this including setting all my clocks ahead... I DO however, use my cell to call if I know I am going to be more than 5 minutes late...
It isn't egocentricity... It's just that the days are too short and I have trouble cramming in everything I want to do...
We all have our warts.. this is mine... so.. sue me...  | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:21:52 PM | I am always 10 minutes early or so. It annoys me when people aren't on time [or 5-10 minutes after they're due] because it shows they don't have respect for you or the people around them..
I will say though I'm usually at work RIGHT when I'm supposed to be there or 5-10 minutes late because no one else shows up on time so I decided why bother with being on time. No one cared when I showed up early so I gave up.
But anyway for the most part I try to be on time to everything because I don't want people to have to wait for me. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:45:00 PM | OMG, I sank deeper & deeper into my chair with shane reading everyones opinion of "Lateness"..I am by far the latest person I know..I always attributted it to the fact I was born late..lol?? My poor Mom carried me 42 1/2 weeks 35 hrs.hard labour, 3:35 p.m. I've found with many family & friends, that were born in early a.m. hours ie: before 7a.m. tend to be punctual morning persons... thoses of us born later in day..not so, my own children great example, 1st was born (42 1/2 weeks) only 7 hours labour, at 10:53 a.m. he is NOT a morning person, and never in any hurry, 2nd son, born only a day late, 4 hours labour, 5:58 a.m. easy going, very considerate and happy morning kind of guy. Lastly my daughter... a few days late, 3-4 hours labour 1:06 a.m. This girl can stay up ALL nite, but don't go near her in a.m.!! My ex-husband born 6 a.m. no problems waking, happy easy going guy, mind you after 10 years w/ me!! Never on time,lol!! Only thing I changed about him.
I realize it's rude to make others wait, I'll call well before to warn I'm late, I'm like Silken Fire, try to do at least 2 days work in a half day!! So I mean well.. Almost all my loved ones have accepted this now, a new girlfriend told me w/in a week of working for me she knew to double amount of time I estimated for anything. I dated a guy from here last year, was an hour late for our date, I called!! But he waited..dated 4 months, but he never let me forget that 1st date, & told everyone of his buddies, family...
I only really push myself to be on time for work, and church..lol!! The 2 places I was raised to NEVER be late too!! Yeah I was late to my wedding too 
I don't agree that it means we late ones have NO respect for others though, not when we're rushing from here to there, we do mean well!! We just try to please too many and take on more than we can do in time frames??? | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:03:43 AM | On a date or meeting, I will give the guy 45 minutes to be late and after that, if he even shows up, he will not be meeting me. I don't think the courtesy of a phone call is asking too much if he's going to be late. Hell, even if he decides he doesn't want to meet a phone call would be nice, I'm a big girl and can understand when someone changes their mind.
I am a stickler for being on time and being prompt. If you have to be somewhere, chances are, you have known about it beforehand. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:18:02 AM | | If I cant be thier on time or early i might as well not go or meet them it runies my day, and i cant stand people that are late when I worked and ran plants if a person was late the second time they were fired, now you might say that is mean but people that are right on time or late will never change and in my work I needed people to be thier when they had to be thier. If you have a date to see a show or concert they dont hold up them till you get thier and I do belive that in new york if you are late for some of thier shows you dont get in its your loss. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:50:29 AM | I tend to be right on time. I don't care to be early or to be late. Both happen because we can't plan our lives by the minute.
I find that it depends on what is going on around me how much I adhere to being right on time. If my life is hectic with a lot of things going on, it's a mad dash to make it anywhere within an acceptable time frame and I often times run late. I don't think that my time is more important than another persons nor do I think that their time is more important than my life and its complexities.
It's the modern world and communication is instantaneous. There is almost no excuse to not forewarn someone if you are running late or not going to show up. Txt, call, email. Without the consideration of knowing someone is running late or not going to show up, assuming I don't know them well and this is a newer acquaintance, odds are that first strike will be the only chance they get.
In general though, I have friends that are habitually late. So what if I have to wait an extra 20 minutes? I get to see them, hang out, catch up and enjoy their presence... eventually. It is something I have accepted about them and know that when we say 1400 that it's really going to be closer to 1500. Part of any relationship is acknowledging and accepting another's flaws. I can think of much, much worse things to find intolerable. Late, I can handle. Not showing up at all, I'd likely not make it to having a friendship to begin with. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:00:03 AM | I spent a long time in the military. As such, the ultimate disrespect is not doing what you say and showing up late with out a damn good reason.
Nothing is more disrespectful then not doing what you say/promise.
I think of it as baseball: 3 strikes and you're out. Though I tell them how I feel long before this is a problem | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:32:55 AM |
I spent a long time in the military. As such, the ultimate disrespect is not doing what you say and showing up late with out a damn good reason.
With all due respect, I beg to differ. The "ultimate disrespect" is disrespect itself. Disrespect has a great deal to do with not giving a rat's hiney about the rights of others and in my view, overt cruelty, discrimination and violence are the "ultimate" forms of disrespect. Being late can simply be about poor time management or someone trying to cram too much into the hour before they're due somewhere. It isn't necessarily related to how one feels toward the person they are meeting.
As a matter of fact, in years gone by, "ladies" were taught to be "politely late" so as not to appear overeager...
Now that you are no longer in the military, it really is okay to decide what is right for you...
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:44:04 AM |
Originally posted by bigkhanz
I spent a long time in the military. As such, the ultimate disrespect is not doing what you say and showing up late with out a damn good reason.
Nothing is more disrespectful then not doing what you say/promise.
I agree. Anything other than punctuality- or prior warning of inability to meet timings- is disrespectful. I have been travelling long distances of late and as such as somewhat at the mercy of traffic, on the ocassions I do not make sufficient allowance, she knows well before we are supposed to meet that I will be a few minutes late.
The girl I spent most of my adult life with would not even bother answering her phone until she was more than 30 minutes late. Sometimes I am on a tight schedule, that was not cool. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:48:42 AM | | oh my god i was just complaining about this the other day!!! i am always early and most of my friends are nearly always late so im 20 mins early they are 20 mins late that leaves me standing like a tit for 40 mins by myself!!!! and i cant be late i think its disrespectful. if i ever bring it up they just think its funny but there is alot worse things that happen in life than people being late so i just put up with it xxx | |
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