| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 11:49:04 AM | I am 50 years old and I do try and date/hang out with/befriend other people my age. Whether its my total lack of maturity or the fact that I am ever so hip, I find men my age seem to be much more set in their ways, less willing to be openminded and willing to be adventurous. In fact, I am rarely asked out by anyone over 35. My ex was 5 years younger. Most(nope strike that) ALL of the men that approach me are anywhere from 23 to 30. I know they tell me that I don't play games, am not afraid to say what I'm thinking and I am playful by nature. And I am experienced enough in life to not take things so damned seriously. Its refreshing to them. I'm not complaining about the youngsters(I'm not stupid ) but they tend to want kids, a woman to take care of them or they inevitably meet someone their own age. I encourage it. Its good for them.
Being child of the counterculture I am idealistic. I refuse to believe I am the only one out here. It probably has a bit to do with living in the South. I love it but we are tiny bit more traditionally minded down here.
I'd love to meet men my age or thereabouts that aren't scared of me or of the great big eclectic world out here.
So, opinions, suggestions, blatant ass kissing?
Peace babies | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 11:59:45 AM |
Most(nope strike that) ALL of the men that approach me are anywhere from 23 to 30.
I find that very hard to believe....even if they were just looking for sex...I still find that extremely hard to believe...but hey that is just my opinion... | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:36:31 PM | It's OK to have sex with younger men. No need to rationalize it. There is an endless parade of divorced women comes through here, wanting to be with younger men and needing reassurance it's OK. So, by all means, have fun and play safe.
People your own age are tricky because they provide irrefutable proof that you are now your own age. And that can be hard to deal with. In a marriage you're in a kind of time capsule. Then upon divorce, out you go to deal with people again, and the ones that look best are, strangely enough, at the age which people look their best, and that you used to be a few years ago. It's very flattering and reassuring to be desired by younger men. It's like having a "do over". You get to enjoy what you passed by as a captive in a dwindling marriage. It's all good.
I can't relate to people born within fifteen minutes of my own birth. Other than that, I have no trouble relating to people near my age. I say, "Man, do you look old!". And they stick out their tongue or give me the finger. But I know they love it. | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:39:57 PM |
And I am experienced enough in life to not take things so damned seriously. Its refreshing to them.
I just bet it is refreshing to them. You have the experience, you don't take things seriously, why would they NOT go for it?
I'm friends with several younger men, they are my daughter's age and it's never crossed my mind to *get involved* with any of them.
You answered your own question. Try harder to find the man who is the right age for you, if that isn't really what you want right now, stay with the young ones and come back in 2 weeks and start another thread. We'll be waiting.
Good luck | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:45:55 PM | in my teens, i trusted no one under 20. in my 40's, i trust no one under 30. Slow Red, I get it and identify. i work with teens and college students for a living, trying to bring them up to speed. i dont need to do it with a SO, please. there is value to being in the been there, done that crowd i suppose. even if its the wisdom of not going down that path again. Be patient and live. It will all show up and happen when its supposed to.
joro | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:47:36 PM | Good post, Mr Internet!
OP, since you asked, no I don't have trouble relating to people my own age...
nor do I have trouble relating to people who are young or elderly!
Listen, in my opinion, the truth behind saying one is open and honest and friendly and confident... is being able to be that with all ages!
Otherwise it's a bit of a half truth, or something.
Your sign off words, "peace babies", makes me think you started this thread to find some more young men. LOL!
Edit: So does the post below. But whatever, go relate with the youngsters. That's cool, for you. But to answer your original question(again)....I like to have fun and relate with all ages, (not talking about sex with that statement).
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:49:14 PM | Did I mention that I find people to be more suspicious and less trusting than I? Believe what you want,that's how it is. After my divorce my first bf was 15 years younger. I love punk and that tends to be a younger less judgemental crowd. And not everyone is shallow as a muddy farm pond. I am also not looking to hold onto them forever, I can talk about something besides my kids or my job and I have no problem with sex for sex sake if the chemistry is there. I am confident and sexy without dressing like a slut. I sing and often it is the music or my art that compels them. I am kind and generous. I have built a successful business and raised a fabulous bunch of human beings, that are more often than not part of my entourage. Was there something useful you had to say or are you just spreading your joy?
Would still like to believe that we're not all dead yet. I just find so many people my age seem so much older than me. Still in it for the adventure here. | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 1:34:12 PM |
I am 50 years old and I do try and date/hang out with/befriend other people my age. Whether its my total lack of maturity or the fact that I am ever so hip, I find men my age seem to be much more set in their ways, less willing to be openminded and willing to be adventurous.
Those old men are no longer interested in making porn movies to prove their conquests while the younguns are making betting games and now how to work those confounded video cams better.
It's so refreshing for the young men to find older women that aren't so suspicious are much easier to to get naked and with infrared lighting settings you'd never know the videos were actually made in the dark.
When you show up at a punk rock show, they know your not as picky about musicians actually being able to play their instruments and they are mainly there for the booze, drugs and sleazy women and the older women are usually better at maintaining consciousness than the young ones that get incoherent too soon.
When I was younger, there was a bunch of guys that went out hunting for 'hoggers' (ugly easy women) and scored pionts for who could screw the worst of them. They assigned points for age, overweightness and how short a time before meeting and getting them naked.
As they got older they were warned by the doctors about taking to many antibiotics and building up to an allergic reaction. Besides, they didn't like having to stop alcohol during the treatment periods.
I never did understand this fascination with easy women and was grossed out by it and today, the lure of easy money for sickening sex acts with old women seems to drive those young punks to gravitate away from any normal relations with their peers.
Maybe if you became a viagra salesperson and hang where there's a bunch of old drunks, you'd get some action out of those older men. | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 1:39:56 PM | I can not picture men lots younger than you to be the only ones interested in you. Unless you simply act like a wild child and they would be embarassed to be around you because you acted inmature. I'm not saying your inmature but your question is from how I'm reading it asking "Why don't men your age approach you and ask you out"
If you want to attract a mature acting adult in your age bracket then you "must" act the part. Or conduct your activities to match your normal age group would act. That doesn't mean you have to break out a caine or a wheel chair.
I have been out with some people my age that acted like a complete inmature nutt cases and I was embarassed to be sitting at the same table as them. How ever someone in their 20's might think it was cool. I didn't make it a habbit to go anywhere with them again. You can have fun with out being rude and crude and disrespectful to others. I'm not saying you act like this. But it does make me wonder,considering your having trouble attracting men in your own age bracket. But then again it's only my opinion. | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:28:20 PM | I don't know, maybe it IS your location. Around here, I know a fair number of men about my age (which is the same as yours) and even older who are quite adventurous and openminded. Keep in mind, though, a lot of men (and women) at our age still have kids they're helping to put through university and such, so they quite rightly HAVE to take things seriously. Maybe you had your kids younger and that stage of life is over for you? Cut them some slack.
I, too, find it hard to imagine why NO men in our age group are expressing interest, unless you're making it obvious that you prefer younger men. I sincerely doubt they're "scared" of you or the great, big eclectic world out here. Just individually not interested. Or even not hung up about age, either, and dating attractive younger women. Or maybe even dating cool older women. | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:00:53 PM | Dawn1114, I almost have the same problem. I don't want to date anyone young enough to be one of my nephews, but the men my age (54) all seem to be grumpy, grouchy, and with a chip on their shoulder. I "think and look" a lot younger than my chronological age....and as you well know, just because you have a youthful outlook, it does not mean that you are "immature."
I don't know what the answer is....I guess my next date will be with some geezer when we're sitting side-by-side in wheelchairs in the nursing home.... | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:04:27 PM | It could be the fact that you are from the south that you appear so "hip" to men in the age bracket you mentioned. I know from raising, and working around young men and women that a woman or man who says they are "hip" around here would be snickered at, to say the least.
Let me ask you,,, do you have children? If so, did you always consider yourself to be the "cool Mom"? You know the one who wore what her kids were wearing, and high fived all of their friends. Wanted to hang out at the mall with them, and did the "call me" thingy with your fingers when you dropped their friends off at home?
I always reminded my kids(19 and 20) that I AM NOT THE COOL MOM!
I am the warm, bake you cookies, hang out with my own friends , and comfort you when you're down mom. I don't act too young, 'cause, quite frankly I love the age I am.
So, maybe you are giving off the personna that you are not happy in your own skin.
Learn to embrace your age and surround yourself with positive people.
He who is meant to be with you will show up, that's all part of the plan.
PEACE OUT!
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:10:20 PM |
I can not picture men lots younger than you to be the only ones interested in you. Unless you simply act like a wild child and they would be embarassed to be around you because you acted inmature.
I'll have to agree with guy4th forums...haaa imagine that--first time for everything lmao..doesn't he spell cute??  
Anyway the fact that men your age don't ask you out is not really something to be proud of--they are probably embarrassed by your lack of seeing who you really are and what your age really is...they don't want to be with someone who acts 20 or someone that dates 20 year olds. | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:39:52 PM | | Well I am 55 and have men from oh 42 to 60 approach me.. but no one under 40.. I am not looking for someone under 40 anyway.. I don't know what I would have in common with a 25 or 30 year old.. I just think that it would be way too much trouble to be involved with someone that much younger.. what do you have in common? Nothing.. even if there was chemistry.. I mean.. what frame of reference would you have. | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:53:00 PM | Most women 40 & older want to claim you as a possession, trophy, exclusive, whatever you want to call it. They have set rules, regulations, and that "this is how it's gonna be, bud" attitute...The younger they are, the more flexible they are ( meant that in their mental /perceptional outlook on things  ) The women that ruled the 70's and 80's are extremely set in their way,.. advance to the 90's and the thinking is different,... just my view on things..Hell,.. I'm just tired of the fighting...    | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:56:06 PM | Personally, I have little difficulty relating to anyone of any age, with the notable exception of quite young children. I would go so far as to say that the generation gap is something of a quasi-cultural misnomer, in that we are all products forged in the same alchemous stew of thrusting passion, pitch and goo. Bridging the gap between any two humans is rendered simple by the kindness of showing/taking interest. Gazillion year old geezers and Gen-Y-ers alike will most often gladly open up when asked about themselves and their interests and lives. The same applies to people in ones own cohort. In case we have failed to take notice, folks of all ages love to talk about themselves, just ask me.
So if the problem is really that you have trouble relating to people your own age, perhaps it is merely due to your own bias. OP mentions that she often finds men her own age stuck in their ways and inflexible. Perhaps we all are to some extent, which only lends credence to the proposition of the supposed generational gap to begin with. I would wager that we more or less attract exactly what we wish to attract, so if you (OP again) find yourself surrounded by a mostly youthful crowd, its because they find in you a reflection of who they are and not necessarily what they desire to become. Honestly, I cannot discern here if you are actually pining for a relationship with someone closer to your number of growth rings, or if you are more or less happy to still be included/accepted by the younger set. Either way, there is nothing tragic about being hip. | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 9:50:16 PM | Most women 40 & older want to claim you as a possession, trophy, exclusive, whatever you want to call it.
Young guys are trophies....Men over 40 are not trophies
Well maybe old dusty scratched up trophies...
.The younger they are, the more flexible they are ( meant that in their mental /perceptional outlook on things ) The women that ruled the 70's and 80's are extremely set in their way,.. advance to the 90's and the thinking is different,...
Advance to the nineties ???...my daughter was born in the nineties....she is freaking 9 years old....and the oldest person born in the nineties would be just turning 18....
Some issues there... | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 9:58:32 PM | | I'll only date 5 years either way, now let me go into the tough part. I like women around my own age because I feel I would not have much in common with a woman much younger, but it is hard to find flexible women my age. I listen to alot of different rock, some kind of soft like Fiona Apple and Edwin McCain, some a bit hard but mostly newer like Nickleback, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, White Stripes, then I'm also a fan of heavy rock like Blue Oyster Cult, Judas Priest, Metallica. Not many around my age listen to such diverse music. I also started growing my hair out (hey, 22 years in the military I'm probably rebelling), not many my age like that either. I decided to go to school for medical field (not much use for what I learned as Military Police unless wanted to be a 40+ year old rookie or Security which I did for awhile and was BORED out of my skull), so not a heck of alot of money right now but a little to play around with, most women my age want someone established in thier career. So I'm finding it pretty slim pickings myself. | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/18/2008 10:51:18 PM |
I find men my age seem to be much more set in their ways, less willing to be openminded and willing to be adventurous. In fact, I am rarely asked out by anyone over 35. My ex was 5 years younger
It's impressive (sarcasm), you talk down about men your age yet... your husband was younger than you and your "suitors" are much younger.
Hmmmmm.... who is set in their ways?
**maybe you**
I'm 48. I'm not set in my ways. I simply avoid dating women who, for all intents and purposes, feel men their age have nothing to offer. "Set in their ways" can also be construed as saying you are set in your ways and you will not compromise...... so you use older men as your scapegoat and chase after the more controllable group (younger horny men). Your posts and your profile seems to suggest you are stuck in your ways. But go ahead - blame us. | |
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| Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 5/19/2008 6:21:48 AM | | I am 66 years of age. My friends cover a wide spectrum of ages, literally from 18 to over 80. I enjoy them all. When I started dating after my divorce my first date was with a woman a few years younger. After that I gradually adjusted to dating younger women. My most recent dates have been with 33 and 41 year old women although several years ago I dated one woman a few years older than I was. For me it is a question of chemistry. Do I find them physically and mentally attractive? I really do not think much about a woman's age when I am attracted to her. If she responds and appears interested I take it from there. | |
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