| Do women resent having to send "signals"?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:25:09 PM | When I started dating my recent girlfriend I wanted to make sure not to cross any lines until she was totally ready and receptive. Eventually we "got down to business", and in later conversations about our first few dates she commented that my very deliberate pace at the beginning made her wonder if I was "normal".
If I go out on a first or second date, I am more worried about appearing disrespectful than I am about not "getting any" that night. I figure eventually I'll get some, but if I give a bad impression that may last forever. So I hold back and wait for the lady to send me clear signals.
My question is, do women resent having to send those signals? I mean, it's not that difficult. You just run your fingers through any part of my anatomy and I'll be all over you pretty fast. But I do like to get a signal. Is that a mistaken strategy? | |
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:31:29 PM | I don't do the "signals" thing.... I just come right out and tell my date that I am attracted to him. Most of the time I am the one to initiate the first kiss and have been told afterwards that they have been glad I did so as it took the pressure off.
I know not all women do this though, and I give you credit for being sure before making your "move". Methinks yours is not a mistaken strategy at all by most womens standards.
Too bad dates don't come with their own traffic cop to handle all the signals and moves that happen!  | |
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:48:20 PM | Which is why cave men invented language in the first place of course Mariachi. I find far more women who are not signalling at all but who are mistaken for signaling.
And, in this day and age that can be a dangerous business for the men. Read the signals wrong and it's a rape charge. Thank heavens for women who still know how to speak plain English. | |
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:51:51 PM | Please allow me to make a correction. I probably shouldn't have used the word "signals". I meant it very broadly, and certainly including verbal signals (that is, plain words).
A kiss of course counts as a signal (very clear!).
But words are signals too. So if you are comfortable telling your man that you are ready, I count that as a signal (verbal in this case).
My question is not about how you communicate your state of readiness, but whether it bothers you that you actually need to indicate that you are ready. | |
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:55:47 PM | It doesn't bother me at all to indicate I'm ready to move the relationship forward as communication is essential in any good relationship. I'd rather my partner knowing exactly what stage I am at and I'd rather know exactly where he is at.
If communicating your needs to your partner makes one uncomfortable, then there may be underlying issues that need to be considered. JMHO
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:57:57 PM | | What does it mean when they hold up a crucifix while backing away? I get that signal on nights with a full moon. I'm no astronomer and I'm not religious so I'm not sure what it's about. | |
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/18/2008 7:43:55 PM | | Personally I like the english language. I can understand that very clearly. I never could get the signal thing figured out, besides it's pretty childish as far as I'm concerned........................ | |
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/18/2008 9:19:56 PM | Hmmmm, I'm totally comfortable sending a few signals. I don't resent it.
I won't specifically ask for sex or physical intimacy from a man the first time, I will definitely rely on signals from him and respond with the same. Putting your hand on his leg, or as the OP said, running your fingers over just about anything. I also use a great one where I laugh so hard that I have to lay my head on a guy's chest. That is practically the golden ticket for me.
Then if the guy is responsive and also likes to touch . . . there ya go! Let's get physical.
Once the decision is made that we are going to get naked together (right, that's what you guys do when you have sex??), then I do get pretty verbal about asking specific questions (I have some great ones there too. . .).
But during the warm up, with a new person on the third, fourth, fifth date etc. when you are still wondering . . . I use the signs. | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 12 | |
| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/18/2008 10:14:45 PM | OPie...you would have made this so much more fun if you didn't have a pic so that we didn't know you had gray hair. Heck, I thought I could have been reading postings from a 14 y.o. boy who's been told all his life "act nice".
Wow...clearly a case of career manifesting itself in real life.
OK...starting point...you (look in the mirror) need to be the leader in the relationship. Trust me, very few women are going to drag you over the console to the passenger seat of the Volvo for a makeout session. And clearly, very few are going to walk in the house swooning "that was a sweet, nice date". Take a hint...girls just wanna have fun. So go have fun with 'em. You're scared...so are they. You're wondering, so are they. Talk to them...get yourself a practice g/f...someone you can hang out with and get over the panic part of the relationship and whom you can start communicating with on more of a friend and fun level.
And trust me, some where in there you're going to start picking up on the clues...and there are thousands of them...and THEY want you to be the LEADER in the relationship. They want you to want them...and if they say 'No', usually it means 'Not now' or 'Not yet'. Do Not be afraid to express yourself and your desires...failing to share your emotions means you haven't been real with her...and the one thing ALL WOMEN want is for their man to be real.
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/18/2008 11:53:13 PM | | I prefer the guy to make the first move. Then I know if he's attracted or not. I generally don't make the first move because I'm a little on the shy side. | |
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:39:50 AM | eazk, I realize that I'm embarrassingly naive for my age (no need to rub it in). That's what happens whey you marry very young and don't start dating for the first time until much later in life. Basically I'm learning now what I should have learned in my 20s...please bear with me!
If a woman goes out with me on a third date, say, I must figure that I have the green light to make the first move. In that situation, I am no longer 'wondering'. My question here is a little more subtle: if I intentionally delay my first move beyond this point, for the purpose of encouraging her to make the first move (whether with a physical signal or direct verbal communication), would she resent being in the position of having to make that first move?
I ask the question because it has an effect on how much I enjoy sex with her afterwards. Without going into details, I enjoy it more if I can sense that she is 'charged'. So it works for me. But I ask the question here (mostly interested in surveying the ladies) because I want to be sure that it doesn't create any negative feeling in her. After all, it has to be fun for both. | |
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:01:10 AM | Manuel...I would say that if you are at the third date you would be best to let your intentions be known. You may be sorely disappointed if you wait for her to make the first move. She may never pony up.
Personally, I tell it like it is, advice I would give to both male and female alike.
Wayne Gretzky said it best..."you miss 100% of the shots you don't take!" | |
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:29:47 AM | | Using signals is 'playing games'! I have never played games - I come right out and express what I want and desire! That way there is no room for misunderstanding! | |
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:14:37 AM |
Wrong. Don't speak for ALL.
Wrong.
Everyone sends signals through body language and voice tonality conciously or unconciously. We all do it | |
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:34:43 AM | Leeane.........................we need more women like you, tell it like it is...........no beatin around the bush,lol (yes, pun intended) | |
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:40:35 AM | My question is, do women resent having to send those signals? Not at all, I believe that it is natural for a woman to show their interest and/or communicate to the man that there is an attraction or NOT. lol
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/19/2008 9:09:41 AM | Hell no! Mind you I dont have a shy bone in my body. I dont send much in the way of signals on the first date.
if i get to a second then i know that he is at least MILDLY attracted to me and i dont ever do a second date unless im really attracted to a man.
As for signals, well when i club them over the head and drag them back to my lair...its all pretty common stuff i think. | |
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| Do women resent having to send signals?
Posted: 5/19/2008 9:19:10 AM | re the Opost
When I was younger, I could not read signals unless they were very clear. But I have learned, IRL, to "catch" the signals emitted subconsciously by a woman who likes a man. So she does not have to make an effort. Of course some women are kinda "numb" thus they emit no signals, consciously or sub-consciously. | |
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