| Anger Management!
Posted: 5/18/2008 11:29:48 PM | Anger management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it
out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f......ing
number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to
call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an ***hole!" and
hung up. I wrote his number down with the word '***hole' next to it, and
put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills
or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an ***hole!"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller, ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '***hole' calling
would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar
with our Caller, ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an ***hole!"
and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for
that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his
back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first ***hole (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW ***hole,
too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" He said, "Yes, it
is."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in Fairfax. It's a yellow
Rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every
evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an ***hole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to
my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two ***holes to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called ***hole 1. He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an ***hole!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you
still there?"
I said, "Yeah,"
He screamed, "
Stop calling me,"
I said, "Make me,"
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "***hole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd.,
in Fairfax, it's a yellow rambler and I have a black Beamer parked in
front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying
your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ***hole," and hung
up.
Then I called ***hole 2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, ***hole."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass!"
I answered, "Well, ***hole, here's your
chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
34 Oaktree Blvd., in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill
my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
Blvd.
in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in
time to watch two ***holes beating the crap out of each other in front of
six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really does work!! 
God Bless,
Scott | |
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| Anger Management!
Posted: 5/20/2008 8:45:42 AM | | Note to self........... Don't piss off Scott. | |
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| Anger Management!
Posted: 5/20/2008 9:39:22 AM | You can dis him all you want
Jjust don't give him your phone number or address.
Give him someone else's
(and then watch the news) | |
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| Anger Management!
Posted: 5/20/2008 10:47:47 AM | HEY BUDDY SORRY TO SAY IT BUT YOUR AN A**HOLE LOL | |
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| Anger Management!
Posted: 5/20/2008 11:25:30 PM | **Plumb5150**,
OMG!! DUDE!! I am in tears, i'm laughing so hard at your response...!!!!
I needed that, thank you so much!! It felt good to laugh so uncontrollably.
That was a HOOT!! Thank Brother...
God Bless,
Scott | |
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| Anger Management!
Posted: 5/20/2008 11:27:21 PM | jamesisonfire
What's your problem dude??
Explain... Not a good way to make nice with the forum sharks, and I know what they eat!!
God Bless YOU too, | |
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| Anger Management!
Posted: 5/21/2008 4:23:28 PM | | This is one of the best things I've read in a long time. | |
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| Anger Management!
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:36:09 PM | I like the way you think Scott, thank you still laughing.
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| Anger Management!
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:54:56 PM |
That was hilarious! I was laughing out loud, and my friends were looking at me like I was crazy! | |
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| Anger Management!
Posted: 5/21/2008 10:11:27 PM | Yeah, I was in the library when I read it..
People lookin at me like I lost it or somethin!! 
Scott 
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| Anger Management!
Posted: 5/23/2008 5:30:28 AM | Thanks Scott, ROFLMAO, that is too funny. Hey write me, so I can give you my phone number  I swear it's mine.... | |
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| Anger Management!
Posted: 5/25/2008 3:23:31 PM | | Had me laughing my a**off. Best anger management ever!!! | |
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| Anger Management!
Posted: 5/25/2008 4:43:52 PM | | Another interesting thing to do is to see when the a-hole will be going out of town for along vacation and sow some kudzu seed all over the place... | |
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