| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:17:21 AM | One of my exes and i got in a heated debate the other day. Personally, hair disgusts me. She knew this as we talked about it earlier in our relationship. Supposedly, i was out of line in my reaction to her refusing to keep her legs and muff shaved. The longer we were together the longer the time between shaving her legs and muff became.
I started to mention it to her and she kinda just brushed it off. For a few months she continued at the same pace. I started getting angry that she was brushing off my requests for her to shave more frequent and it was such a turn off that it started affecting our sex lives.
After many polite failed attempts, i finally snapped and asked what the hell was wrong with her. She said it's totally normal and no woman shaves her legs that much. I said she's wrong and every woman (every woman i've ever been with anyway) keeps there body hair in check.
She turned this into me taking away her femininity and not making her feel like a woman. She is completely set in her mind, that having leg hair close to a centimeter is perfectly normal (in north america anyways), every girl is like that unless they are going out in a skirt or bikini and that i am totally on crack.
For the record, i'm not talking about a few days worth of stubble, or even a week, i'm talking weeks and up to a month and a half and i'm talking 70's muff here folks... 70's! Take it in :-)
So i guess where i'm going with this is, what is normal to you ladies and what do you guys think is acceptable? | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:26:27 AM | Are you the hair police or something?
...i finally snapped and asked what the hell was wrong with her...
I'm sorry, you sound like an idiot and a bully, it's up to her how she presents herself isn't it? If you don't like it, find yourself another girlfriend.
I don't get this obsession some men have with shaved vaginas? I've always preferred a woman with natural or trimmed pubes. | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:27:47 AM | So i guess where i'm going with this is, what is normal to you ladies and what do you guys think is acceptable?.
I think you're ranting over a non issue...
Her body ( including her body hair) is her buisness...
Iam not fussy.......bush or no bush or trimmed...it doesn't faze me and it has never affected my sex life..
Maybe she did it because you pissed her off.....by the sound of this post I believe she had good reason..
Nobody wants to be controlled......it's not your right to tell her what to do...
I guess she's glad that you are her ex
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:34:04 AM | If she is your ex, then why are you bothered by her body hair?
As to your query, I shave at least every three days. I could not stand to be around myself, let alone another person, if I didn't have silky smooth skin. On those rare occasions where it has been longer than three days (very rare) I am reminded of a cricket upon laying in bed at night.
I'm fortunate that my S/O also feels this way about body hair and is likewise considerate and shaves very regularly.
I think this is a case of either laziness, lack of personal hygeine or just plain 'don't give a care.' Obviously it's important to you, so find someone who is on the same page as yourself.
Best Wishes ~
PS Different people grow hair at a different pace. For example, my sister shaves monthly and is fine to do so. She is very lucky. Same for my Mom. I have to either shave every other day or get waxed every month.
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:34:34 AM | I agree wholeheartedly with the two very intelligent gentlemen that have already posted about the fact that each and every person has a right to choose how they want to groom themselves. And you have a right to choose to be with someone whose preferences suit your own tastes.
I happen to know a lot of women who don't shave their legs in the winter time when they are usually wearing slacks. I'm not one of them because I can't stand the feeling of stubble but I salute their right to make that decision.
As for shaving the other area, well, there are some who find that practice reduces the mature male or female to looking somewhat prepubescent.
The bigger question is why are you still so upset about it? Did you think you had somehow earned the right to tell her how to wear her own skin? | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:38:52 AM |
I think this is a case of either laziness, lack of personal hygeine or just plain 'don't give a care.'
^^^^ I reckon it's a case of free will....
People are individuals and shouldn't conform to society's influences......
I still reckon she did it....to piss him off....JMO | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:43:04 AM | | ok if she asked you to remove all your body hair, would ya?? no. you sound like a bully and you should be alone.. :) have a nice day. | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:46:42 AM |
Personally, hair disgusts me. She knew this as we talked about it earlier in our relationship
And what did she say about the subject when you talked about it? Because if she told you she shaved regularly, you're obviously going to be annoyed that you were mislead. On the other hand if she said she didn't, then you don't really have a leg to stand on at all here... | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:51:32 AM |
As for shaving the other area, well, there are some who find that practice reduces the mature male or female to looking somewhat prepubescent.
^^^^^ I'm one of them who does, I like to think I'm making love to a grown woman, not a girl. | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:54:36 AM |
One of my exes and i got in a heated debate the other day. Personally, hair disgusts me. She knew this as we talked about it earlier in our relationship.
^^^^^^ So what! That means squat.....so what if you talked about it.
Did she sign a declaration that she promised to shave her legs and privates for you?
Who gives a toss...that hair disgusts you.....you can't dictate her life.. | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:56:18 AM | | Sounds you are one end of the scale and she is the other. Normal people tend to fall somewhere inbetween. Neither of you are normal, but you are the one that sounds like a tool about the whole situation. | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:01:26 AM |
And what did she say about the subject when you talked about it? Because if she told you she shaved regularly, you're obviously going to be annoyed that you were mislead. On the other hand if she said she didn't, then you don't really have a leg to stand on at all here...
An intelligent response, how refreshing.
Actually, the first year she did shave regularly and it was never an issue. She basically got lazy. | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:05:18 AM |
I think you're ranting over a non issue...
Her body ( including her body hair) is her buisness...
Iam not fussy.......bush or no bush or trimmed...it doesn't faze me and it has never affected my sex life..
Maybe she did it because you pissed her off.....by the sound of this post I believe she had good reason..
Nobody wants to be controlled......it's not your right to tell her what to do...
I guess she's glad that you are her ex
How am i controlling? We talked about it and i voiced my dissatisfaction. When did i say, "you have to do this".
You're perfect though right, nothing phases you? Get off your high horse. | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:10:50 AM |
How am i controlling? We talked about it and i voiced my dissatisfaction. When did i say, "you have to do this".
Here's where you said it Witty...
One of my exes and i got in a heated debate the other day. Personally, hair disgusts me. She knew this as we talked about it earlier in our relationship. Supposedly, i was out of line in my reaction to her refusing to keep her legs and muff shaved. The longer we were together the longer the time between shaving her legs and muff became.
I started to mention it to her and she kinda just brushed it off. For a few months she continued at the same pace. I started getting angry that she was brushing off my requests for her to shave more frequent and it was such a turn off that it started affecting our sex lives.
After many polite failed attempts, i finally snapped and asked what the hell was wrong with her. She said it's totally normal and no woman shaves her legs that much. I said she's wrong and every woman (every woman i've ever been with anyway) keeps there body hair in check.
"Out of line in my reaction..."
"I started getting angry..."
"I finally snapped..."
That's what controlling people do and that's how they behave... If anyone is on a high horse, it was you.
If you don't like honest answers, you shouldn't ask the questions. | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:12:05 AM | Just wanna say that I am glad to see some men who like buff hair ... I think a person should do what makes them feel good about them selves ... I know I dont like lookin like a lil girl but the 70s stuff is not a pretty ... I feel shaving your legs is up to each person ... I know I shave often but thats me and some women dont and to each their own ...  | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:16:48 AM |
"Out of line in my reaction..."
"I started getting angry..."
"I finally snapped..."
That's what controlling people do and that's how they behave... If anyone is on a high horse, it was you.
If you don't like honest answers, you shouldn't ask the questions.
Silken, i like honest answers, i don't like getting attacked for no reason. I was simply putting forth an experience. All of a sudden i'm a bad guy. Like everyone in these forums are so perfect they never get angry. | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:27:35 AM |
Personally, hair disgusts me.
There ya go....you have a fanatical viewpoint on the subject. She had a more relaxed one. Oil & water don't mix well.
Your quickness to anger & name calling when you don't get your way are pretty good indicators as why she wasn't particularly motivated to comply w/ your wishes. | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:29:04 AM | why is it that when people get into relationships they sometimes tend to "let themselves go"?? this goes for both men and women. the longer people are in a relationship, the less they worry about how they present themselves. i can somewhat see his point. while i think the reaction to the situation was a little strong, i can understand it if during the first part of your relationship, she looked after herself in that regards then the longer you were together, the less she felt the need to impress. if you had voiced how you really didn't like it and she kept ignoring it, then it was no doubt a reaction to further antagonize you and that's a little childish. i mean seriously guys, if a girl showed up to a first date with furry legs wearing a skirt you mean to tell me you wouldn't be turned off?
my ex had this ratty, icky old shirt he used to wear around the house and wanted to wear it out grocery shopping one day and i said that i'd go alone if he did. he knew i hated...he had never worn it out in public before, and definitely didn't wear it when we had first started dating so why should it be any different a year, etc., later? why do people think that the more comfortable they are in a relationship, the less they need to try?
besides, in relationship issues forums, i've seen many preach the "compromise" card constantly for things that are more important. she obviously knew it really bothered him to allow the garden to go wild, would it have killed her to have weeded it a little more frequently? this wasn't about control, it was about preference which he made clear and she chose to not only ignore, but purposely develop into an issue by doing it less and less. it wasn't a problem for her in the beginning and it definitely should not have become a problem as time went on. | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:33:11 AM |
Silken, i like honest answers, i don't like getting attacked for no reason.
With all due respect Witty, I sincerely doubt that your ex appreciated getting attacked for no reason (or at least.. such a trivial reason) either.
I was simply putting forth an experience.
No.. you were telling us how you handled the fact that an ex of yours didn't groom herself the way you wanted her to and you asked for people to tell you what they thought of the way you handled the situation. They did.
All of a sudden i'm a bad guy. Like everyone in these forums are so perfect they never get angry.
Nope, you're not a "bad guy" at all Witty. A little confused about what you have the right to demand from another human being and about your right to go off on someone when you don't get your way but not a "bad guy".
There's learning here for you Witty. These people are actually telling you that you may want to reconsider whether or not you have the right to foist your preferences on someone. If the only thing you learn is that people don't like being attacked, then well.. at least that's a start! | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:41:18 AM | you may want to reconsider whether or not you have the right to foist your preferences on someone
again, he made those preferences clear early in the relationship. if she felt that offended by it, then she should have ended it rather than let herself go. and everyone has preferences when it comes to their mate. like i said, if it wasn't a problem for her to look after herself in the beginning, then why was it as time went on? as he said, he wasn't talking about a few days or a week...he's talking about a month or more and that's a bit excessive.
i prefer someone who is clean...i understand that from time to time this isn't always possible (after a workout, doing yard work, etc.) . however, don't expect me to be turned on by sweat and stench either as i would not do it to another after cleaning or something. so i must be a bad and controlling person if i wanted my mate to shower before he snuggles up or climbs in bed as opposed to when he's all sweaty and gross? hair control is a form of personal hygiene! | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:43:14 AM | First and foremost, since she's "one of your exes," it's really none of your business. Second, it's her personal preference. A lot of men are shaving their entire bodies these days, how would you feel if someone demanded the same of you?
That said, I could never go that long without shaving my legs, even in the winter. The "other" area? I'd tell you where to shove it. I hit my bikini line and keep everything else trimmed, but shave it all off? Oh hell no. I tried it once and had the most horrible irritated skin you ever saw, and it'll never happen again.
Make sure you are perfect before you start telling anyone else how to groom their body. | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:56:34 AM | Well well ...
Hair no hair ... hummm
This all depends on when you learned to ...... umm fly and what methods were used to teach you.
Me - I need the hair for navigational purposes.
The last time I was around a baldy (about 4 years ago) it took me 20 minutes to find “it”.
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:56:58 AM | Someone mentioned bad hygiene and laziness as the reasons for not shaving. I don't shave my legs very often but it's not due to those reasons. (Well, maybe a little bit of laziness, but not bad hygiene - I shower every day). I do trim regularly though. It's not that I'm necessarily proving a feminist point. I just don't see the point if no one's going to see it. I probably average once a month - more often during the summer.
Although, in my final year of university, I took a women's studies course and one of our semester-long projects was to do an outrageous act of our choice. I decided not to shave for the whole semester. It ended up being six months. ^0^ It was almost weird to shave after that! | |
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| Lower body hair.
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:01:57 AM | | Vicious Vixen, "early in the relationship" is fine. She is now an EX, and he's still picking fights with her over this. "Making your preferences known" in a relationship is one thing. Picking fights over them after the relationship is over crosses over into controlling behavior. | |
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