| 18 Things a Grown Man Should Never Have ......
Posted: 5/19/2008 10:15:06 AM | Made me giggle when I read it - and realize how true! Okay boys - fess up - why am I sure some of you may indeed own a few of these ........ lol
1. A black eye. Unless the rim hits your face mid-dunk, your peepers should remain unblemished. You're smart enough to talk your way out of any fight you're going to lose.
2. A witty e-mail signature. Quotes and song lyrics should be heard during toasts and karaoke performances, respectively. Don't let your electronic correspondence become the digital version of a motivational poster.
3. An empty refrigerator. Your larder should be amply stocked, your pantry provisioned. Always aim to be ready to create an on-the-fly, three-course dinner for her...along with breakfast in bed.
4. PlayStation thumb. When they're relaxing, grown men can behave like children. But if you devolve long enough to cause calluses or button-shaped bruises, you're assuredly missing out on life.
5. A key chain with a bottle opener. This bauble is both a gauche reminder of your college days and proof that you don't know how to apply leverage using available, impromptu bottle openers: a lighter, the back end of a fork.
6. A lucky shirt. Every shirt is lucky when worn by a man who knows that the harder he works the luckier he'll be.
7. An unstamped passport.
8. Olympic dreams. Exceptions: curling and archery.
9. Less than $20 in his wallet. Fiduciary nudity is negligence. A real man should always carry a business card and enough dough to pick up coffee, bagels, and the Sunday paper without whipping out the plastic.
10. A name for his penis. Even if it's a really clever name.
11. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. And no exception for the grand-slam 30-pack that crosses that price threshold.
12. The need to quote The Big Lebowski/ Caddyshack/Superbad. Reciting someone else's lines reminds people that you haven't the wit to write your own.
13. A futon. Sure, beds are for sleeping. But such a meager, slouchy spread has never, in the history of sex, inspired a woman to say, "Take me on your futon."
14. Code words for ugly women. Actually, code words for anything.
15. A Nerf hoop in his living room. Keep the adolescent accoutrements where they belong: in the rec room or above the wastebasket in someone else's office.
16. A secret handshake.
17. Drinking glasses with logos. Especially those kitschy McDonald's Hamburglar ones.
18. A recent story with the phrase "So I said to the cop…"
Care to add to the list? 
PP
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| 18 Things a Grown Man Should Never Have ......
Posted: 5/19/2008 10:43:16 AM | 19 ) "trying to find myself".......if not by now, it's too late.
20 ) "between jobs or looking for a new opportunity".......unless you got downsized out the door or closed your business to (see above). | |
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| 18 Things a Grown Man Should Never Have ......
Posted: 5/19/2008 10:53:10 AM | Okay, so my passport isn't stamped (they don't stamp it in Cuba unless you ask) and I have two mugs with the logo of a golf tourney in which I played in 1975, two coffee mugs with Jets logos and two more from Islendingadagurinn.
No guy's place should have a frilly bedspread or a toilet seat cover. He should not have shirts with cartoon characters unless received as a Father's Day gift | |
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| 18 Things a Grown Man Should Never Have ......
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:07:54 AM |
10. A name for his penis. Even if it's a really clever name.
The exception to this is if it's an exceptionally well-trained penis and it comes when it's called. | |
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| 18 Things a Grown Man Should Never Have ......
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:09:13 AM | | doilies... oh my god. Ever since my brother's girlfriend moved in with him around 5 years ago his place is COVERED in doilies. It doesn't even look like his place anymore | |
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| 18 Things a Grown Man Should Never Have ......
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:10:42 AM |
11. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. And no exception for the grand-slam 30-pack that crosses that price threshold.
But what if the beer company has a promotion going on, and the case comes with a free lucky shirt? | |
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| 18 Things a Grown Man Should Never Have ......
Posted: 5/21/2008 5:35:28 PM | Other essential things a grown man should not have:
1. A gunrack prominently displayed(women know how to load things)
2. Any Playboy or any other porno mags lying around. (If you haven't figured out why God created the computer, you deserve to be here)
3. Absolutley no books by Dr Phil, or any Chicken Soup for whoever's soul.(you're a man, you don't have any emotions worth exploring or understanding)
4. No stuffed animals(unless properly mounted in a striking pose)
5. No bottle of your favorite "panty remover" in sight(hide it with the bullets)
6. No matter how good you look in them, no pictures of you & past girlfriends(nobody has that many "sisters" or "cousins")
7. No sense of what's going on (women'll know your kidding)
8. Absolutely nothing frilly(if you don't intend to wear it for her later, don't have it)
9. No guest towels. Your a man, the only people who come over are your family & friends, and they understand you.
10. No leaving your computer on with POF up. You'll have more explaining to do than you'll want.
11. An empty clothes closet(unless you want to be "taken shopping")
12. Empty ice trays
13. Guilt about anything you've done that you had fun doing
14. Other male friends(chances are she's not going to like them anyways)
15. An alphabitized list of restraining orders against you(leave your sock & underwear drawer open if you want to show how organized you are) | |
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| 18 Things a Grown Man Should Never Have ......
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:16:54 PM | someone said painted toe nails...what about the metro sexuals out there?
they like to go to spas and get a mani/pedi with clear nailpolish.. is that mean that they are ... hiding in the closet... | |
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