| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:20:47 AM | | Why is it once a guy calls you a sweet girl it's over? Is it the same thing as your a nice guy? I just don't understand that when talking to someone and they tell me your a really sweet girl they just seem to fade away? Does this mean I need to sit back and act like I am not interested? I am not sure I understand. I was married for 8 years I am aware I suck at this and have no game. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:27:58 AM | | Yeah, "sweet girl" is the equivalent to "nice guy." What kind of vibe are you giving off on your dates? | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:29:49 AM | | Apparently not what I thought. New to dating and it sucks! | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:37:47 AM | | I've never done/said that but I'm looking for the kind of person that I would think that about. I just haven't had any luck with that one yet. That's just me though and I could be the weird one. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:40:09 AM | | Yup you have either the sweet girl or the cool chick status and it is the same as the nice guy thing, it sucks but then someone comes along that will appreciate those Qualities about you. . Just be yourself and don't settle. Patience is also good to have here. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:42:59 AM | | Well, when you are on a date, what kind of things are you talking about? Your responses should identify why you keep getting placed in the "sweet" category. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:58:17 AM | I am going to go with the rest of the peanut gallery and say it is equivalent to "a nice guy" which means no attraction.
The only thing I can possibly see that may be causing this classification is that if you are talking in dates like you are in your profile then you are too focused on your previous relationship and sending the message to the guys "I am not over it so you will have to be my emotional dart board" and no guy in his right mind will subject himself to that no matter how physically attractive a woman is. I say this because two sentences into your profile you mention it and seem to be over compensating looking for the "dream guy" which is a classic tell for us that you are not done with the emotional stuff.
You must be aware of all of what you are portraying both verbally and non verbally. Sometimes we are the last people on earth to see our own shortfalls and foibles. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:11:02 PM | | I wouldn't say that I am hung up on my ex at all! I just felt that someone that I am going to be involved with should know that I was married before. It was my choice to leave the relationship. There is no emotional attachment what so ever. Maybe I should redo my profile? Hmmm...... | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:12:17 PM |
Yeah, "sweet girl" is the equivalent to "nice guy."
Give the man a cookie. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:15:03 PM | Wow.. you ARE a sweet girl.... My blood sugar went up just reading your profile!
But that's a good thing. Consider it a filter.
If I'm looking for a play partner I avoid sweet girls, because I know that's not what they are looking for. Even if they are interested in me I discourage them or keep it at just friends because I don't want them to get hurt.
They're sweet! Why start something I know I can't maintain at this time and risk her or me getting hurt?
When I tell them my intentions... nothing serious, just want to have fun, great sex, good friends.... because I'm apparently very bad at relationships and tired of being hurt/hurting others... if they're down with that, cool. But most of the time they say "You just haven't met the right girl... *batting eyelashes*" Then I know they are a truly sweet girl and avoid them like the plague.... a hurt waiting to happen.
So... Your sweetness implies commitment, love, respect, romance, happily ever after...
And they are looking for a nasty girl...
Hold your ground and wait for a guy that's ready to give you what you're looking for. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:15:38 PM | | If I call a lady a 'sweet girl' it's a compliment. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:17:24 PM | | Your profile seems fine in my opinion. Its ok to talk about a past relationship, but try and keep it to a minimum. If they have read your profile, they already know you were married. So, unless they bring it up, just avoid the topic. If it happens, then keep it short and simple. If you go on and on about an ex, it gives the impression, whether its true or not, that you haven't moved on. There are so many things to talk about that it is not necessary to dig up the past on the first few dates. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:23:28 PM | *SNIFF* I'm a sweet girl too. 
Guess I'll have to find me a nice guy to date. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:26:41 PM | I would change the profile, the status of divorced tells us all we need to know. We don't need to know the story or the gory details. Going into ex's without being prompted is a big red flag and is a common mistake from people recently leaving relationships, hence I suggested it. Well, then that is all I have got that would be obvious.
You are a physically attractive woman so I wouldn't think that would be an issue. The two main discussions on the forums about unattractive behaviors include either being so shy that you are not showing any interest in him body language, verbally or otherwise or being too much of a tomboy and coming across as butch. From your pictures you seem to know how to dress (not arriving in an old t-shirt and guys jeans I hope) and seem to look feminine but I thought I would throw it out there even though it may not fit.
Again that is throwing random things out there and seeing what sticks.
It could be that you are running into guys who are attracted to the "ho" types that seem two seconds from throwing you on the table and doing you in the middle of the coffee shop on the first meeting and you are the third person that night she did that to. Who knows.
I am baffled then, sorry I couldn't help more. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:35:28 PM | yeah.....sweet girl/nice guy......same same
Let me break a rule and make some assumptions and please correct me if I'm wrong. I wonder if most of those "sweet girl" statements come some point AFTER the mention being not quite single yet. There may actually be interest in you, but not until that loose end is taken care of. We men are not all dogs, and many of us won't go scratching around another roosters henhouse. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:44:03 PM | | Not at all! Most of the men that I have talked with are separated or divorced. I live in NC and you have to wait a year before you can even file for divorce. I have been separated since March 07 and now just waiting for a court date to get everything final. There is no interest at all in the ex. We both have moved on. I think I will work on my profile tonight and take anything to do with him out. Everything else is who I am. I am a romantic person and want show that. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 1:24:56 PM |
I am a romantic person and want show that.
Honey, you already show that in your profile... that's why I have a toothache...
A couple more profiles that sweet and I'll be a full blown diabetic...
Maybe I've just gotten good at reading between the lines...
Removing the X from your profile while still listed as seperated is a two edged sword, and frankly... the other side cuts deeper. If divorce isn't mentioned they ASSume you're looking for some on the side. Then you get flooded with mail from that end of the spectrum. Wait until the divorce is final, remove mention of him and change your status.
Honestly, I don't read "still hung up on the X" anywhere in there. And if you're not mentioning him to men in IRL... (Like beershark said, all we can do is make assumptions)
I hereby proclaim you.. *shoulder taps*... A Sweet Girl! | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 1:53:16 PM | | It means you need to move on, yes. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:08:20 PM |
Does this mean I need to sit back and act like I am not interested?
That may not be as bad an idea as it sounds, especially if you're talkative. Guys like to do the persuing and a little mystery goes a long way too.
 | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:13:41 PM | | Hmmm, I've never heard this one before, but it has never seemed to apply to any of the women I have known. I often tell my female friends that they are nice and also told my ex that a few times, and she was one that left, and it wasn't cuz I told her she was a "nice girl" trust me. But as someone else said, it could be equated to the "you're a nice guy" comment, hard to say. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:26:57 PM | Sweetness and niceness are both good qualities, but not at the expense of sexuality.
Being nice is a good quality. But a "nice guy" is nice to a fault where it ruins his ability to be sexual.
The same thing could probably be applied to being sweet. I generally really like sweet girls. But they have to be sweet within reason. It can't be at the expense of being sexual. If a girl is too sweet, it triggers more the type of feelings you have for a pet or a child; you love it and want to take care of it but are not sexually attracted to it. It's the same thing women go through with their "nice guy" friends.
Being romantic is also a good thing. But your profile seems to dwell on that a little too much. The mention of looking for a long term relationship coupled with the excessive emphasis on romantic things makes you sound a bit needy. Which will turn a lot of guys off. And the ones it doesn't turn off, you probably won't want anyway because they will be just as needy.
I'd advise just taking it down a notch. Be a little more casual about it. Even if you're looking for something serious and long term, you have a much better chance of finding it if you don't appear to "need" it. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:50:38 PM | | I'm always called a "nice guy" and quite frankly I'm tired of hearing it, but yeah it's the same thing................... | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:03:43 PM | | Thanks guys for your help. I am now working on changing my profile. We will see if it works. | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:06:35 PM | But why change it?
Some of us highly appreciate it and consider it a rare valuable thing.
Most women I come across want to be STRONG, INDEPENDENT, and someone who can stand up for themselves. They love flaunting these aspects. Rarely are they "sweet". | |
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| Sweet girl?
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:12:39 PM | | I was going to change it because every guy I seem to start talking too tells me I am a really sweet girl and then just fades away. Maybe sweet isn't exciting enough for you guys? | |
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