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 Beautyinnature
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 1
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the housePage 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I got real dependent on my ex husband because he was such a great fixer around the house, but ever since my divorce, every man I've met is only intersted in sex and wont' or can't fix things or even hang a picture for me. What is to be expected about this in dating? I guess I am meeting the wrong men(?) and feel so stupid.
 Marius66
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 2
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:38:38 PM

every man I've met is only intersted in sex and wont' or can't fix things or even hang a picture for me.


^^^^^^^^ I feel for you beauty........gotta watch out on these dating sites....guys prefer to nail a woman than a picture frame these days.

Good luck
 pair o docks
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 3
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:39:54 PM
Sounds to me like a classic case of 'don't know what ya got until the toilet leaks'..........

Why do I have a sneaky suspicion the poor chap was made to feel like he was 'useless' at one point in this arrangement......


Here's what I think you should do....

Call your ex....pretend he's a plumber, or an electrician.....and you can have him do the stuff for free if you just offer him sex....where he doesn't have to even reciprocate......... That's what they do in the porn movies...

Bom chicka BOW WOW!!!!!!

"excuse me....can you come over and....clean my pipes?"

Bom chicka BOW WOW
 CanadianBeef
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 4
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 12:10:26 AM
Guys prefer to nail the woman instead of a picture on the wall...hahaha...funny.

I think some guys are just not handy men...maybe they don't want to attempt to hang a picture up incase they screw up, look bad and feel like idiots???

My dad is what one might call a handy man...I just never really took to anything except dirt bikes. He was *always& yelling at me about how I nailed some board wrong, or got paint all over the side walk or how I flooded the plants or shoveled the sand or dirt wrong, etc, etc, etc...

By the time I was 20 I was like f*ck it...I'm sticking with computers I'll just hire a bloody handy man.
 Beautyinnature
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 5
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 12:15:17 AM

...gotta watch out on these dating sites....guys prefer to nail a woman than a picture frame these days.


Haha...awesome answer! Thanks!
 actualized
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 6
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 12:26:13 AM
lol. i fix things for free for women. i don't see why they'd want to have sex since fixing things can be really fulfilling.
 AustinTyler
Joined: 4/15/2008
Msg: 7
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 1:37:22 AM
^^^ smart guy.

Does it to make others happy in turn it makes him happy.

Guys that go for sex, do it to make only THEMSELVES happy. You really wanna be with a selfish person?

Can get both things the same way, but which one would you prefer?
 bathurstman35
Joined: 12/15/2007
Msg: 8
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 1:58:53 AM
u said evry man u met is only interested in u for sex lol could it have something to do with u telling them your boobs size when u start talking to them like u do on your profile lol?.if u dont want men to take you mostly for sex why would u need to tell them your bust size on your profile??? no biggy but i just tought i would mention that.
 Dare to
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 9
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:06:47 AM

What is to be expected about this in dating?
If you are simply dating then i wouldn't expect any man to come to my house and be expected to fix my "stuff". If he is dating you he is not your husband or provider and i think it is wrong of you to expect him to do your handyman things unless he actually offers to do it. You using a man for 'fixing' things is almost as bad as him using you for sex.....
 PURE-Energy
Joined: 9/13/2007
Msg: 10
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Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:32:24 AM
You know their are many different types of nails and you have to use the right nail to hang that picture ..

The type of nail would depend on the weight of the frame etc. If it is heavier than a few pounds than you want to nail directly into a stud if the spacing allows. A 4d(penny) box nail will work fine. Other options are screws with anchors if your wall covering is drywall, or there are several types of adhesive hangers. Scotch Brand makes some nice ones.

So do your home work people before you hang those pictures up on your walls
 place18
Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 11
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:07:39 AM

You know their are many different types of nails and you have to use the right nail to hang that picture ..

The type of nail would depend on the weight of the frame etc. If it is heavier than a few pounds than you want to nail directly into a stud if the spacing allows. A 4d(penny) box nail will work fine. Other options are screws with anchors if your wall covering is drywall, or there are several types of adhesive hangers. Scotch Brand makes some nice ones..


Jesus Christ
I thought women didn't know anything about human nailings
 *~*ChardyGirl*~*
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 12
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:08:07 AM
Marius,some of your responses really crack me up,so,thank you.....!

Now,on topic........I get the opposite "problem"..........LOL !
I find guys who want to help me with my car (when it wouldn't start & id called the Racv),help me learn stuff on my computer (coz im such a novice),etc.....and,i really appreciate it soooo much but usually end up telling them that its ok,i'll be fine.....!!

I dont want to feel stupid,so, i CAN hang a pic (hammer a nail in a wall),& i can change a lightglobe,too -- no end to my talents,really.
And,i somehow muddle through & even "let" them help me sometimes................

Bless 'em (men).....................sigh...............

 Beautyinnature
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 13
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:13:43 AM
I don't think I am going to post here any more. Too many attacks.
(Retreating for reals)
 HappyGirl5668
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 14
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:19:11 AM
OP - I haven't had a man around who could fix things since my grampa died.......and bless his heart, he could fix ANYTHING.

I do everything I can by myself and hire someone to do the things I can't. Some guys will offer to do things for me. That's great and I deeply appreciate it, but I never ask.

The difficult part is figuring out how to do things that are beyond my abilities, but not something you can really hire anyone to do......like change the batteries in the smoke detector on a cathedral ceiling. I'm too short to do it, even with my extension ladder.

I'm really stumped on this one and I'm pretty sure it's gonna get real annoying soon when that thing starts chirping.
 HappyGirl5668
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 15
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:23:29 AM

I don't think I am going to post here any more. Too many attacks.
(Retreating for reals)


Don't sweat it sweetie. There are crabby people everywhere.

I truly don't believe that every man (or woman) in the world is a jerk, but I do believe every jerk in the world is online. It makes the sorting out process impossible.
 QUICKSILVER217
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 16
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:34:43 AM
It is lovely when people offer to fix things, I must look helpless I guess, but I sure wouldn't expect it. You have as much ability to fix and repair as any man, the fellas only get better with practice. Yes the whole street saw my awful brick letterbox, and the bad cement bagging...and a visiting carpenter noticed my carpentry...and damn you know you've done it bad when the fellas ask who did that?....
Still it does bring a nice sense of achievement when you do things for yourself.
Even if damn hell I may never learn the finer operations of the video recorder....Good luck OP, ask for DIY book for Christmas.
 .Marc
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 17
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Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:46:07 AM
I'll certainly do my best, but I'm no handy man.

I find this a little silly. I thought that we were above this kind of gender labeling at this point. (I fully believe that if a guy started a thread titled "Women who can't or won't fix me a sandwich" it would be deleted within 5 minutes.)

So, i guess it depends on what you expect out of relationships. Do you expect your partner to be your personal handy man? Is it just that you like more traditionally "manly" men? I never thought that "wouldn't fix things" would be cause to label someone a "wrong man."
 HappyGirl5668
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 18
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 4:02:53 AM
Marc - I think if it were worded the same....."I got real dependent on my ex, she was such a great cook, but now every woman I date only wants sex"........well, ok, he'd get a lot of guys saying , "So, what's the probem?"

BUT - I don't think the question would be deleted. I think it might generate some responses from women who truly do enjoy doing traditionally womanly things for their man.

In a relationship, even if it's just friends, or "friends with benefits" type of relationship, men and women do nice manly and womanly things for each other.

I am fully capable of hanging a picture and doing minor repairs. I have a savings account to hire someone to do those things I can't do. BUT - if a guy I'm seeing does something nice and manly for me...........you can bet I'm gonna be thinking about ways to show him that I appreciate him.

My ex bf used to mow my lawn. Now, not only am I fully capable of mowing my lawn, I kinda like mowing my lawn. However, he wanted to do it for me........Sooooooooooo, on Sunday mornings while he was out mowing my lawn, I was inside cooking up bacon, eggs, hash browns and my killer sour dough pancakes..............and watching him out the window mowing without a shirt on.

Definitely a win-win.
 Spitfire1956
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 19
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 4:08:57 AM
Why wait on any guy? Just get in there and learn to do it yourself. Mine may not be hung perfect, or fixed right but I can proudly say I did it myself. I'm the type of person who just hates to ask anyone for anything, or ask for help..I will get in there and tackle it myself.
 .Marc
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 20
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Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 4:19:55 AM
I don't know, Happy.... I know at least a few men who would be annoyed by the whole, "She only wants sex" bit. They just probably wouldn't admit to it.

I certainly TRY to do things for my partner... but I'm not a handyman, and if I'm expected to be one there are going to be situations where I say, "Ok, honey... darling... sweety, maybe we should call someone that knows what they're doing before I drastically drop our property value..."

I can do minor repairs, and I can probably work my way through major ones. (I'm good at following directions, so working from a book would be fine.) But in some instances it might be better to pay someone to do it. (And chances are good that I know a guy who knows a guy...)

I'd much rather express my love through barbecue... or a nice Shiraz roasted tenderloin. It's less likely to result in damage.

(Also, again... just to make sure that I've spread the word, If you ever see me under a car--- ring for an ambulance!)
 HappyGirl5668
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 21
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 4:24:45 AM
(And chances are good that I know a guy who knows a guy...)


That counts!!! Cause you see, I DO NOT know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows how to do something. (or has the tool to borrow to do it)


I'd much rather express my love through barbecue... or a nice Shiraz roasted tenderloin.


Manning the barbecue also counts.
 helinda
Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 22
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Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 5:00:40 AM
Read books,take a casual interest in D.I.Y.and when you can do everything yourself,you will be looking for someone for all the right reasons.
 jimtash71
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 23
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 5:23:18 AM
Maybe OP you shouldn't expect them to. I have no problems helping someone out, especially a woman I am dating, but don't expect me to remodel your entire house. Or make me feel that everytime I come over I'm obligated to to fix something.

You can try and use the power of suggestion though and say to the guy that you have something needing repair but just don't know what to do about it. Be reserved about it and just mention it to him in casually in conversation. He just might surprise you and take the initiative.

Or you might come across a man that can't even change a flat tire much less do anything else. If that's the case, read up and and learn to do it yourself. If a guy sees you putting an effort in, that might make him want to jump in and help you do it.

Hope this helps.
 vaxplant
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 24
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 5:25:04 AM
Personally, I love doing DIY and fix-r-up stuff.

I don't do it for everyone though, and I certainly wouldn't do it in a casual dating situation.

If you want me to fix your house, you need to keep me around your house long enough for me to feel it needs to be fixed. I'm not a piece of meat, or free labor at your whim. Demonstrate to me you're willing to invest some effort and emotion in me, and I'll return the favor.
 jimtash71
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 25
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 5/20/2008 5:34:04 AM
I don't do it for everyone though, and I certainly wouldn't do it in a casual dating situation.


Right. At least let a few weeks pass before handing the guy a hammer as soon as he walks in the door.

Long term is a different story and then yeah, I'd make sure that her house wasn't in disrepair. Or we would be living together so any repairs needed would be taken care of quickly.
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