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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.      Home login  
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 LovingTheBeach
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 1
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Hello Everyone,

I need your opinions on this situation.

I met, or think that I have a potential partner here on POF. We have been through the first step of IM contact on POF, everything seemed o.k. to me so I gave him my phone number and asked him to call me. I got his Yahoo messenger id. He called the next day, but the call was brief because the connection was horrible. So we were back to Yahoo messenger. I explained that I preferred the phone calls, and I have called him but I always get an announcement saying that he is not accepting phone calls, or when he does answer, he always asks to go back to Yahoo, plus he is ALWAYS waiting for me on Yahoo Messenger and sends me all these offline messages. What's up with that? I was thinking I would like to meet this man. Is this a reason to change my mind?

Thanks for your kind responses.
 actualizing
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 2
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:11:56 PM
Well you definately need to ask him. He is perhaps married. He could have a whiny voice, he could really be a woman, who really knows? Ask him.
 Helen Waite
Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 3
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:12:56 PM
Maybe he's married. Would explain the reluctance to talk on the phone. Just ask why he is so averse to the telephone...
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 4
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He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:13:40 PM
Cut to the chase and meet face to face and hope that he's engaging in person. If he tries to put off the meeting you may want to reconsider whether he has the qualities you're looking for in a guy (if communication is one of them).
 untaintedbliss
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 5
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:14:53 PM
I am the same type of girl as you...I like the good old fashion phone convo.
The reason for his announcements could be that he hasn't been paying his bill or that he has an issue with going over his minutes. Give it a little while and see.
If you expressed that you prefer the phone, and he hasn't listened...this is a problem.
Reinerate that you perfer using the phone and if he doesn't listen than get rid of him.
 adawn65
Joined: 9/12/2008
Msg: 6
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:15:17 PM
Definitely a D-O-G...don't waste anymore of your time!
 SlingDad
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 7
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:16:25 PM
If it were me I'd take a step back and assume there's a reason the other person wants to keep this an 'online only' relationship, whereas you're looking for real world.

If he gets over being shy or is married, or partnered or whatever, he should either man up and let it go or move forward if the latter two above aren't the case.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 8
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He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:19:26 PM
If someone makes it that difficult to communicate I would probably choose not to. Tell the guy that if he wants to talk to you to call you on a phone line that actually works. otherwise you don't have time for his secret agent crap.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 9
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He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:19:35 PM
I hate talking on the phone.... prefer texting..... I will have a phone convo.. but generally not too long.....
 demonsleeves
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 10
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:22:51 PM
M-A-R-R-I-E-D.
That's whats up with that.
 angeleyedgirl29
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 11
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:24:32 PM
It would be my opinion that he is a cheater!!!sorry grl but i would move on....
 issapeach
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 12
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:30:39 PM
Oh geeze, I'm the female version of that guy. I can only give you my reasons for why I text instead of call, and prefer messenger over a phone conversation.
1. I'm a visual person. I find it easier to respond when I can see what the other person says.
2. Sometimes I don't hear well, and I get tired of having to ask people to repeat themselves.
3. My attention wanders when I'm on the phone....I usually end up pacing or watching tv or doing something else to distract me. And I like to give my guy* my undivided attention.
4. My brain doesn't connect with people over the phone. To me, it feels like talking to a disembodied voice. Don't know why, that's just the way it is.
5. Phone calls can get expensive if you're like me and only use a cell phone. I can talk to my guy* every day for an hour or more on msn....I could never do that on the phone.

As for leaving you messages while your offline...frankly, I think it's nice to know that someone is thinking about you while you're not around. Now, I don't know the content of these messages, so maybe he's coming across as needy. But to me, it sounds like he just enjoys talking to you and even looks forward to when you come on so he can say hello.
If you feel you have a connection, meet already! He may be shy so why don't you take the first step?

*Disclaimer: He's not my guy yet, but I'm going to get him
 LovingTheBeach
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 13
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:31:36 PM
Thanks for your responses. Looks like I have a some things to think about. I never thought he might be married....Yiikes!!!
 chesher 38
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 14
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:42:28 PM


#1 He is Cheating on his Wife...

#2 He is Cheating on his other Girlfriend...

#3 He is Cheating on his Boyfriend...

#4 He lives in Singapore,The Philippines,anywhere in Asia this is why you had a crappy connection...

#5 He is a Mormon and you are looking good as wife #6, he just can't figure out how to explain it all to you...

#6 Your Guess is almost as GOOD as mine...
 circe 1
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 15
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:52:54 PM
'What's up with that' is a guy who doesn't want to meet you. He's too much of a coward to meet but is getting his jollies getting attention from you to make him feel like a big man. Happens all the time...time to move on. I too had a few text idiots waste my time...and noticed that they can't deal with direct contact. If a man doesn't IMMEDIATELY ask you out on the phone or here with a specific date and time, you are dealing with this particular brand of internet loser. Honey...I just saved you hours of wasted time with this advice...take it
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 16
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He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 4:10:51 PM

M-A-R-R-I-E-D.
That's whats up with that.

It would be my opinion that he is a cheater!!!sorry grl but i would move on....


Yup I concure!!

He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.

Whenever anyone declares this ..... the above is true!
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 17
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He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 5:37:41 PM


M-A-R-R-I-E-D.
That's whats up with that.

It would be my opinion that he is a cheater!!!sorry grl but i would move on....


Yup I concure!!

It is possible that he's married. However here's a question, how many of you know men (married or single) who enjoy talking on the phone? Sure, there may be one or two but think about it, unless they're teenie-boppers how many guys do you know who just "chat" on the phone?
 P.E.T.A.
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 18
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 5:45:40 PM
Maybe he is involved with someone else, maybe not. I know a guy(friend) who much preferrs chatting on yahoo or texting as opposed to the phone--why? Well he can carry on 6 or so conversations at the same time with none being the wiser as long as he manages to type in the correct window. Usually when one is talking on the phone and typing the other person can either hear the typing or they can at the very least tell that the other person is distracted.
 salsa35
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 19
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 5:45:51 PM
I met a guy like that total waste of time. Relationship never went anywhere but my phone bill (due to texts) went up. Texting as a way for intimate conversation is for teenagers.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 20
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He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 5:47:43 PM
^^^ CMonster - My husband is on the phone all the time! I worked for a guy that should have had his phone surgically implanted! My ex still calls to chat! Most men I have dated loved chatting on the phone just to have that 'connection' when we were apart! There are plenty of men that love chatting on the phone - especially when they are smitten with someone! Oh and when they have nothing to hide!
 haleydo1
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 21
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 6:09:47 PM
I'll vote that he's married.
 printer2
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 22
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 6:12:07 PM
I am not much of a phone person, I would rather talk to someone in person.

But I actually like text. Mind you it does depend on the person and what they write. You can take your time and think about how you want to phrase things, you do not loose an idea because the conversation went in another direction.

The best I can sum it up is the way people conversed over long distances in days long by, you can get to see a greater depth of a person. Some times I find I have to give ideas brought up more thought and it leads to some personal discovery.

I think I enjoyed writing with the woman I did this with because I was intrigued by their minds. I was not in a rush to get anywhere with them and just wanted to see where things would go. Mind you in each case there was a point where it was time to take a leap and see how we would get along in real life.

But then again I am different. My guess is he is married.
 DD10
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 23
He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 6:23:08 PM
If he's under 30 that's the way of things.

If he's like me he hates the phone. I even make my mom who lives 8 miles away talk to me on yahoo IM . no phone calls. I'll give a quick ring to set up plans, etc but chit chat --no thanks. I'll do that online.

In person I'll talk your ear off.

I wouldn't worry about it. You may be reading too much into it.
 supersnuggle
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 24
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He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 6:26:46 PM

I hate talking on the phone.... prefer texting..... I will have a phone convo.. but generally not too long.....


Anyone who actually PREFERS texting to talking on the phone, has a personality issue. That is just not normal, especially with a potential partner. My guess is, you don't have much luck with relationships either. Do you rather text than meet in person too?
 yankeegirl-in-tn
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 25
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He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.
Posted: 9/15/2008 6:44:53 PM
Some people just don't like talking on the phone, simple as that. The phone gets hot, your arm gets tired. Nothing to do with being involved with someone else or having personality issues. I'd rather meet sooner than later before I waste endless hours talking or texting then when we meet find there's no attraction. Not everybody is honest with pictures...lol
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > He wants to text only, avoids phone calls.