| | Profiled as a sex seeker forever! [CLOSED Thread]Page 1 of 1 | | I was wondering if the "label" that has been placed on those of us who have merely talked consensually with others about sex via email and now are considered sex seekers can be removed? Im sure there are bad apples out there but any conversations I have had are about 2 consented adults talking about what each other like/turn-ons etc. Now with this "label" I am unable to email potential people, because of a little adult chat. As an adult now being no longer 15 the first thing out of my mouth is more than a pickup line and I would like to be able to message others freely. Your thoughts are welcome to this issue and a response would be nice. | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/9/2009 3:45:12 PM |
I was wondering if the "label" that has been placed on those of us who have merely talked consensually with others about sex via email and now are considered sex seekers can be removed? Im sure there are bad apples out there but any conversations I have had are about 2 consented adults talking about what each other like/turn-ons etc.
The filter does not work with what you say but who you say it to.
If you have a history of contacting people with IE profiles than the filter is tripped.
Go here for more information about the filter -
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts4201689.aspx
Now with this "label" I am unable to email potential people, because of a little adult chat. As an adult now being no longer 15 the first thing out of my mouth is more than a pickup line and I would like to be able to message others freely.
You are free to message who you want, but remember others are free to block people for what ever reason they seem fit as well.
And to save you the hassle of wondering why this thread will most likely be Closed ?
Look here -
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts8622863.aspx#8622863 | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/9/2009 4:13:33 PM | | Ok so even with it only being tripped by messages to IE users, it seems a little ridiculous. Wheres the option for men who are only looking for women who have never had a one night stand, ever been too drunk to remember how they got where they are, or who don't know who they're baby daddy really is? But using this line of thinking isnt just a one way street, how about going further with men, find out if they have ever used a corny pickup line, been turned down, talked to a stripper and or hooker. Let be able to block it all or nothing put it to a vote if you must, but its a fine line to walk, when its only talk that's being done through emails that can be blocked. Like I said we are all adults. | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/9/2009 4:38:22 PM | Remember, this:
YOU are free to message whoever you want.
And others are free to not want to hear from you because of your choices.
What is so hard with that? | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/9/2009 5:41:43 PM | You've been a member on here for going on five years. This can't be news to you.
We don't have to agree with ALL of the features... But they are...what they are.
I agree with the other posters...we all choose how and with whom we interact with in here. | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/9/2009 5:52:19 PM |
...Ok so even with it only being tripped by messages to IE users, it seems a little ridiculous...
What may seem ridiculous to you may be serious to someone else.
People that set their profiles with those restrictions think it is a big deal and that is their choice to make not yours.
...Wheres the option for men who are only looking for women who have never had a one night stand, ever been too drunk to remember how they got where they are, or who don't know who they're baby daddy really is?...
That is not a feature or option that is available on POF to my knowledge.
I think when it comes to that you are on your own and if you are not able to do that I would suggest a prenuptial.
But using this line of thinking isnt just a one way street, how about going further with men, find out if they have ever used a corny pickup line, been turned down, talked to a stripper and or hooker.
If there was a way to track that information than I would say then it would be added, but unfortunately no way to validate that type of behaviour.
That is why the IE filter is so affective.
The best way to catch a behaviour is not to tell the person you are looking for it and there are consequence involved.
...Let be able to block it all or nothing put it to a vote if you must, but its a fine line to walk, when its only talk that's being done through emails that can be blocked.
This site only needs one vote and that is the owners that matters and I think considering he has the #1 site, that he ideas may be working.
Like I said we are all adults....
Debatable.
You have to understand they are not blocking you personally, they are blocking people that have made or make a habit of making contact with people that have IE profiles, they did not choose to put you in that category, you made that choice with your actions. | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/9/2009 5:53:58 PM | | See you said "free to message whoever you want" that would be true if the filter didnt block me. The others you speak of have no chance to hear from me, because of a few private adult discussions I have had with others. Im not being crude or rude in any of my emails I have sent, nor will I be. Its an impractical system. Im actually trying to find some one for a stable relationship, I think this site has been great Ive met some really nice interesting people here, and because of this filter Im unable to even converse with some of them. | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/9/2009 6:02:23 PM | | Yes i accept that i took those actions, I just dont understand the underlying reasons behind the filter. | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/9/2009 6:03:21 PM |
See you said "free to message whoever you want"
Yes I did and yes you are free to message whoever you want and talk about whatever you want.
However, you must take responsibility for your actions. You are man enough for that, right?
The others you speak of have no chance to hear from me,
Because THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! What is it that you are not understanding?? POF offers the filter as an OPTION for ANYONE to use, if they choose. If they choose to use it, it is because they are not interested in meeting with or even chatting with you. It is not POF that is stopping you from chatting with these women; it is the women that are saying they don't want to chat with you.
And I am not knocking you here. I don't care who you chat or meet with. But please, don't whine about it. Man up, accept the consequences that come from your actions. | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/9/2009 6:10:20 PM | | I would assume that they wouldn't like to hear from those IE profiles rather than someone seeking a normal relationship who has only had a few talks with those profiles, it just excludes too many individuals. Sure it filters out a lot of "bad apples" but a lot of decent people are getting included. | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/9/2009 6:16:47 PM |
I would assume that they wouldn't like to hear from those IE profiles rather than someone seeking a normal relationship who has only had a few talks with those profiles
Well...don't assume anything. There is a separate filter for those that are seeking IE. Just as they do if you are married, live too far away, are too young, too old, looking for chat/email.
It's pretty clear...................at least to some of us.
Others remain a little "thick".
Edit:
it excludes too many individuals.
That is the point and the function of the filters. To weed out (amoung the multitude of people on here) those whom you have no interest in contacting or being contacted by.
YOU traded a couple of "adult" conversations for what you now have.
Period | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/9/2009 7:12:59 PM |
Yes i accept that i took those actions, I just dont understand the underlying reasons behind the filter.
Underlying reason? Only one , and that would be “cooties” – flip as that may sound.
If one is the type that casually goes contacting IE seekers regardless of the outcome, the probability of risk is that much higher that one will at some point contact an STD/STI and ladies, or guys for that matter should be a bit skittish of such cooties – ya don’t fool around with those, they stick around for a very long time if not permanently in some cases.
On the other hand, the site really doesn’t know the goings on of what one does off site – one could still be a habitual Craigs List or Adult Friend Finder fiend and one wouldn’t know under the guide of seeking a Long Term relationship, but with this filter, if it can help eliminate just one more higher degree suspect, then job done.
One can preach safe sex till they’re blue in the face, but the habitual indiscriminate seeker is that much more of a risk, and the ladies who opt to turn this flag on simply sleep a bit better.
Its an impractical system. Im actually trying to find some one for a stable relationship,
Obvious suggestion is to concentrate on the ones that don’t care or are more open minded.
In reality it’s no different than the ones who won’t date someone 2 years older, or with kids, or who smoke, or etc etc ..
It’s a matter of choice, and you have that choice as well.
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/10/2009 8:53:25 AM |
If you have a history of contacting people with IE profiles than the filter is tripped.
Absolute rubbish. I defy someone to show me where I've ever initiated or replied to a single person whose profile was set to looking for an IE, let alone having established a pattern of doing it. Yet I have just discovered that I am unable to to initiate contact with someone who has the filter on that says you may not contact them if you have initiated contact with someone looking for an IE. This followed someone blocking me, so my guess is that when you block someone you can also falsely report them for something that they have not even done, and THAT action leads to the flag being tripped, leaving me unable to contact many people now. If that assumption is wrong, then why am I now blacklisted? Something a bit 'buggy' about the system. | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/10/2009 9:03:26 AM | That kind of brings a question to my mind.
I noticed that if I change my profile pic...it not only becomes a part of my current postings...but also of past postings.
So...Let's say I've contacted individuals via IM...and they later change their profile to reflect they are looking for IE's. Could that retro-trip the system filters?
BTW...I am not having this current problem...just wondering.
Also...other than the OP...I know everyone else is completely innocent.
"It wasn't me...I wasn't there...It's not my car". | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/10/2009 9:23:14 AM | In addition to my previous reply, I just verified that as of the 7th, just 3 days ago, I was able to get past the filter in question, "Must not have initiated contact with someone looking for an IE", and it was very easy to re-check the few emails I've initiated or replied to since then. So I am correct, something else is at play here... and it is indeed rubbish. Want to know to create a bad person? Treat him like one. Now I don't give a whoot who I write to or what I say, since POF has decided to treat me like that sort of guy. Time to have some fun...  | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/10/2009 9:32:47 AM | | So if I can just get this straight, the reason I am unable to contact someone who has that restriction is because I have spoken to someone 4 times who is looking for an intimate encounter? So despite the fact that the conversation had nothing to do with anything even remotely connected with sex, and was in fact about a common interest we shared, I am branded with being a sexual predator and can now no longer contact users who have this restriction set? That seems rather over the top don't you think? I accept that where people are reported for such things then this restriction would be fair, but to stop people from messaging others because they've had a conversation with someone who is looking for that is mad. It's like saying " Your friend from school stole a car the other day, you've spoken to him in the past therefore we're going to arrest you because you're the same kind of person". You can't even appeal it, and I'm sure if an administrator, of which there are many on this site had a look at the messages that the users sent if they were to appeal they would in most cases let them continue to contact others. Because lets face it, if you know you've sent indecent messages you wouldn't be appealing. What a stupid system. | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/10/2009 9:39:19 AM |
and I'm sure if an administrator, of which there are many on this site had a look at the messages
Actually thats not correct. There is ONE admin. He owns this site and created it. There are only a couple mods here in the forums and we have no control over your profile and we can NOT read your emails etc... We only control forum posts.
Cowboy
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/10/2009 9:43:16 AM | I don't know how to use the quote system but the moderator posted this -
"Obvious suggestion is to concentrate on the ones that don’t care or are more open minded.
In reality it’s no different than the ones who won’t date someone 2 years older, or with kids, or who smoke, or etc etc ..
It’s a matter of choice, and you have that choice as well."
When the vast majority of women on the site place a filter on members who have messaged others seeking intimate encounters, there is no choice. The choice that is left is those with loose morals, and those who haven't worked out the filter system yet, which isn't going to provide a relationship which surely is the point of the site?! What you are saying in your post is that if you have sex then you are going to catch an STD and pass it to another member. Having a conversation with someone who is looking for an IE does not mean that both participants of that conversation are looking for the same thing. This system is one of the reason why this site has such a low success rate. | |
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/10/2009 9:53:46 AM | moderators, administrators, you know what I meant, don't be petty
I was not being petty. You said there were MANY admins. I pointed out there was one person that is an admin for all issues regarding all members profiles/mail such as this. He owns the site. There are millions of profiles. Do the math here.
There are 3 full mods. More handle events. We have no control over anything on this site whatsoever outside the forums. We answer questions here. That's all.
Your question has been answered. Actually several times by multiple people. Including the mods here.
*Cowboy*
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| Profiled as a sex seeker forever!
Posted: 9/10/2009 10:54:34 AM |
So...Let's say I've contacted individuals via IM...and they later change their profile to reflect they are looking for IE's. Could that retro-trip the system filters?
It's not supposed to be designed as such as it would take a lot more horsepower to continually query everyone we've ever contacted in the past and check to see if they've changed their seeking option - I would think that's out of the realm of fairness, besides it only working on a first email contact basis. I truly wouldn't worry over this.
Absolute rubbish. I defy someone to show me where I've ever initiated or replied to a single person whose profile was set to looking for an IE
Of course we don't know or are privy to the entire mechanics of the flag but Admin has suggested in the past, that "Other Relationship" is coined more by females and essentially means the same as an IE. I would be cautious on that front as well. Perhaps there is also how many IE seekers you put on your favourite list in hopes of them contacting you first to avoid the flag setting - that is pure speculation on my part, but certainly a good candidate. Maybe the threshold is set much higher when engaging with OR's or IE Favourites - we don't know.
This followed someone blocking me, so my guess is that when you block someone you can also falsely report them for something that they have not even done, and THAT action leads to the flag being tripped, leaving me unable to contact many people now.
being reported by one person has no effect - there has to be a pattern set for how many unique reports come in against the same person. Simply one report would also be unfair, this is why it requires a lot more reports, to avoid malicious and unjust reports.
So if I can just get this straight, the reason I am unable to contact someone who has that restriction is because I have spoken to someone 4 times who is looking for an intimate encounter?
At it's surface - yes. However, what lies beneath the water line is the other 2/3s - the intent which you've obviously missed as many who come in here do.
So despite the fact that the conversation had nothing to do with anything even remotely connected with sex, and was in fact about a common interest we shared,
The filter's intent is obvious, and works on a high percentage of what the intent of contacting an IE seeker is, (and once again for the masses that seem to miss this, it's not just one contact , but multiple contacts). The likelihood of one contacting an IE seeker is hardly to discuss their common interest in tidley winks, when the IE seeker's intent is quite, if not to the point - sex.
I am branded with being a sexual predator and can now no longer contact users who have this restriction set? That seems rather over the top don't you think?
No more over the top than your suggestion that the site branded you a sexual predator - go grab a dictionary and look up predator. In reality, no one would have known that you've tripped any sort of flag, or have been so called "branded", until you just publicly outed yourself.
I accept that where people are reported for such things then this restriction would be fair, but to stop people from messaging others because they've had a conversation with someone who is looking for that is mad.
Again, the filter deals in high probability of intent, and no one reads your emails. the fact that you only talked was covered in my prior post as I did say "regardless of outcome" from the contact.
It's like saying " Your friend from school stole a car the other day, you've spoken to him in the past therefore we're going to arrest you because you're the same kind of person".
Absurd analogy.
You can't even appeal it, and I'm sure if an administrator, of which there are many on this site had a look at the messages that the users sent if they were to appeal they would in most cases let them continue to contact others.
One man show - zero staff to be reading the goings on of two people.
Because lets face it, if you know you've sent indecent messages you wouldn't be appealing.
Not so. Admin has busted that myth a few times in the past publicly to zip them up for the falsehoods they were spreading in the forums. When they got Pinocchio'd, they surprisingly (what a shock) deleted their profiles - as they had nothing to stand on other than bold faced lies.
What a stupid system.
The system is not infallible, but does weed out 99% of the actual people who women feel they don't want to chat with because of the greater probability of a health risk they face.
If you've been unfairly flagged - ensure that you look at what they're seeking if all you're after is talking about interests.
Your mail settings depict all the contact barriers - they should be enough of a tip off to keep one's nose clean.
Thread Closed
Repeatedly discussed and answered in this forum via the numerous threads.
Mail Settings: Why was my IE Filter Discussion Thread Closed?
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