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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?      Home login  
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 **Mandy**
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 1
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
So, i have this guy who i've been dateing for almost a month now. He lives 2 hours away. But says he wants to be with me and wants me etc. Just his life is really busy with work and his kid and his ex. I call i get no answer. For the last week his phone is turned off and mail box is full. When i do talk to him he tells me he really miss' me etc. So it keeps my hopes up that he's telling the truth and just go with that. Now i see on POF that it says online today but i get no messages and no phone calls. What do i do? Do you think he's lying or telling the truth? I hope for the best, but i need advise. What do you think in this situation. Something in my heart says believe him but people(friends) say **** him, ditch him! But i can't!!! I want him too much to ditch him over a little bit of lack of communication.
 .Hazle.eyes.
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 2
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/9/2006 11:26:28 PM
forget about him and move on because you are so pretty trust me you don't need him...there's plenty of fish in this sea hun and he's not worth it so why beg right.
 Roamingsiris
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 3
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What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/9/2006 11:28:50 PM
Hes busy with his X.

He wont answer his phone...

Yeah, hes a keeper allright.
 **Mandy**
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 4
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/9/2006 11:29:21 PM
Awe! Thanks hun i appreciate your response. Thanks for takeing the time to reply to my stupid question. I just like knowing what people other then my friends have to think on this situation. It's pretty important to me, it may change my life right. Something as big as this i wanna know as many responses as i can. So thanks again!!
 .Hazle.eyes.
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 5
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/9/2006 11:38:35 PM
no problem girly, we all go through shit with men it's a part of life and then they wonder why we become so bitter...us girls need to stick together....hahahaha anyways forget him!have fun!
 Bull_Bain
Joined: 2/13/2005
Msg: 6
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/9/2006 11:56:04 PM
Mandy, you can do better, trust me! Move on, find someone else...
 portalmaster
Joined: 7/21/2006
Msg: 7
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 2:03:16 AM
If he's only 2 hours away, take a trip to see him. You'll find out either way. The situation doesn't sound good especially when you mention that he's busy with his ex. Why would his phone be turned off and mailbox full? For a whole week? Hmmm.... You need answers to these puzzling questions. Seems odd. If he really misses you and thinks about you, why the lack of communication?
 BlueeyedBabe
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 8
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 3:57:39 AM
Are you a gluttin"" for punishment?? Yikes!
 ~HONEYMAN~
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 9
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 4:33:46 AM
If he won't return your calls, stop calling him and if he calls you...great. If not, chalk it up as experience and move on...
 ian1972
Joined: 7/6/2006
Msg: 10
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 4:40:03 AM
I think there is more than you realise going on here.

Set yourself a time limit. Perhaps 2 weeks. If he doesn't get back to you during the time, move on. Somehow there seems to be a hidden agenda on his side and I don't expect you to be the one with the happy outcome.

If he can be like this in the beginning then it may just get worse.

There must be better you can find.
 wildflower1967
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 11
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 6:03:17 AM
this is worth the reading but it is a bit long ....but it is the way to gain self-worth, self-independant .....excuse all grammer, typing errors, and spelling ( not claiming to be good at theses) ....

i was in the same boat as u ...i stayed with a guy for 8 years ( ya i know too long) ..he never made an comment to advance our relationship but everytime i called him ..he said how much he missed me, loved me, wanted to be with me, kept saying how WE ( noticed the word we even thought he didnt plan anything ..but yet i moved 4 hours south to be closer to him) planned on being together marriage blah blah blah it was all words, my heart said stay with him .some day i will be with him...my heart said he loves me . my friends said to leave him, ditch him ( hmm does this sound like your post) yup it doesnt cause been there done that ... ( man i have learned to listen to them; FRIENDS are forever ..guys sometimes arent; ) .. ...
i never missed his calls, always availabe for him, would cancel plans, dates, just so i would not miss his calls. YET he would miss my calls, never chancelled a plans with his friends just to be with me. didnt make dates that much) to come see me ( he lived 8 hours away) ( only for a week in 8 years and that was broke up in two visits) BUT Always saying for me to tell him when and who is visiting who. (sorry wasnt gonna happen .gonna let him ask me for once ..last two was me asking him to come here)
did he love me ..YES he does ..but he saw me as TOO EASY.....i lost my own life cause of his words of bait i call it ....he put the bait out there for me to keep trying to jump for ..but too high for me to bite. (he didnt want to catch me but yet wanted the trill ( ego) to know she still waiting for me) we still talk, he still says he loves me misses me blah blah blah ...but no commentment to come up ...im told im very sexy, beautiful by guys ....yet that didnt matter to him cause i was too easy. looks doesnt mean a thing ..thousands of girls out there that are very sexy..looks doesnt win all the time. did i lose him ..yes i did i think ( now he says i havent) but the body language he is showing and his actions say i have...that is what i go by..his actions ..not his words but it taught me something about people ...

does your friend love you ..YES cause guys would not say that if they didnt. sad but he finds u too easy to get...but IF they find u too EASY ..they lose interest ..if u want him ditch him ..lol ..guys always come back ..or most of the time ..LOL ( did you lose him ..cant say for sure ..but i would say yes by his actions ...but u never know ..life has a way to turn around, dont want to get your hopes up) You say when you call, he says he misses u blah blah blah ( all words)..but doesnt call u or IM me ( no actions)...
he says he is busy with work, his kids, his ex,,, that isnt good...:( ..

if a guy is busy with his ex ..depents on what it is ..if it is court issues or whatever ..BACK OFF ..let him deal with that ....NEVER COME between a guy and his ex ..give him space...I refuse to jump into his past ..his past is for him to share with me .if he doesnt ( always be willing to listen, if he wants to talk about it)...i dont care to deal with it ..got enough of my own past to deal with ...but if he is spending time with her more then that ..then maybe it isnt over with her, maybe she is the prize he has learned that he let go and made an mistake and doesnt know how to fix his mistake but wants to try.

his work ....well there isnt much that can be done about this one ..he has to work, but if a guy really wants to be with u ..when he is at work ..he is thinking about u; thinking about ways that his next paycheck will be able to do things with u; buy u things ..though i never ask a guy for stuff ....they want to buy stuff for u ..like a car ...a guy loves to buy things for his car ...his baby, his toy, to show it off, cause it brings him pride, joy and yet an mystery of how fast it will go, what power it has, and what pleasure it will bring him ...his treasure, his prize, his idea of " mine is bigger, better then yours" ..something to show his friends,,, we are like that ...not comparing us to cars but the idea behind it ..he wants to be proud of his work of winning u, working for u, loving u, providing for u, etc etc etc..guys like to score big ...and that doesnt always mean sex ...( if he hasnt bought u anything or taking u anywhere ..hmmm to me that is a warning sign there, more so for your birthday or holidays like christmas)

his kids ...whoa this is a touchy one .....his kids are his heart, soul, his gold prize. i wont go with a guy when he is having time with his kids ..mainly if he only gets them every seond weekend, i will let him decide when it is time to introduce me ...and when he does ...i VALUE it cause he is introducing me the to very core of his life, and and i treasure that time with him and his kids, make him feel that " i got his heart in my hands" when i hold one of his kids...if a guy doesnt make times with u and his kids ..."BIG WARNING TO U" THAT HE isnt that interested in sharing his private life with u ..i spent the day with this guy i met and his kids ( he only gets one day with them) and he was very pleased that i was spending time with them, he walked to my place ( only lives a block from me) with his two little ones ( so cute) ..but when he said i have to take them home, i said ok ...have a good day, and i let him go ...i didnt stop him in anyway ..didnt say stuff like " ohh but i love your kids, or dont go im having fun or anything like that ...he would have taken that as i was stepping on his time with his kids ...PS..his son's birthday is coming up and he wants me to go shopping wtih him ..Ill go with him to say to him..( by doing this i show him that i care, about his little bundles of pride and joy without being cliny or trying to move in on him. - ALWAYS willing to do things they likes too-its not all about u and what u like and want to do ..GUYS Are important too).....told me that he isnt looking for a mother for them ( he just broke up with mom) ..WARNNG ...i will play harder to get ahold of cause he needs time to learn to be single again ...so i will see him for a few days then i will back off and let him deal with stuff ..if he says his ex is coming with the kids ..im outta there ( GIVE THEM SPACE ..SO IMPORTANT )...


my advice: dont call him ..dont say i miss you ...it is a flag that says ....."she is too easy" ..go out ..date other guys .forget about him..when he calls/IM asking u why u havent called or IMed him for the last little while ...just smiles and politly say " Really i didnt notice it being so long, i have been busy with other things, ..dont tell him what or who u r doing/seeing..let him figure that out on his own ....u got to be a mystery ...a treasure they want to work on trying to solve the puzzle in finding the treausre ......NOW ..Play hard to get ....not so hard that they cant get u but hard enough that want to keep working for u to win your love ...ohh they say they dont like it blah blah blah but they do ..and face it ..we do too ....i mean ..
LOOK HE is doing it to u ..he is playing hard to get ....turns off phone, machine full of messages, but yet he keeps u wanting him by saying He loves you, misses u ..he is the one PLAYING THE HARD TO GET TYPE, u dont like it but yet u keep going ..calling him..worried about him..misisng him.....u want him cause u see him as a treasure, u see him someone worthly of working for .....deep down inside u see as worth it ....trust me i know ..been there done that ....

NOTE: if after taking the "HARD TO GET " if his actions dont change towards u ...then its time to face the truth that its over and for whats its worth .. .. ..its not gonna happen at least not anytime soon. treasure the times u had and move on...but whatever u do dont blame yourself ( worse mistake) dont blame him cause it will only kill u cause u love him and dont want to hurt him but dont hold on it only brings u're self esteem down, and most of all ..learn from it ...its what i did...if he comes back two, three years down the road then it was fate ..but dont count on it.


i have this guy who im kinda getting to know ( met him on here two days ago)...he tells me after two days that he is falling fast for me ...well i wont tell him anything ....not trying to be mean to him ..just letting him fall for me ...he offers to pay for things for me ...he works to pay for things for me, ( i have refused to let him pay for things)and gets mad cause i send an body messager very clear to him that im not needy, not a gold digger, im always polite, smiling and flirting, but i wont tell him what he wants to hear ..like i miss him etc etc etc ..he is worried that im seeing other guys, i make him feel good, i make him feel like a treasure, i make him feel like he is happy to be with me, tells me all the time .." it just feels soo right with u ...u r one of a kind,, BUT i dont make him feel like he isnt worth it, he isnt dumb or stupid. i am the treasure now ..and guess what i make him feel like treasure too without the * needy act* ..and guess what ..i met his budy and his buddy gave him the " thumbs up" when he met me ...lol his buddy approves of me ( always good to get the guys' buddy approval, guys talk too ....smiles ..his buddy's girlfriend and i were talking and we didnt let the guys know what we were talking about and that drove them nuts..they tried to get it out of us what we were talking about but it was a turn on for them that we didnt ..LOL....
we are friends but i told him that im still just wanting to date other guys, ( they dont like it but they still come around) why? ..cause i give them what they want ..a great personality, honestly, and fun ( NO NOT SEX) i just need to learn to be me still before i can totally give a guy everything i have to offer ...




Lesson ..i have learned to be my own person ..my own life, my own passions, i make my life a life that guys enjoy being in ...and i learned it all from the guy i lost, that never made an committment to come be with me ..he was the one who taught me the greatest value of all...i lost him but i gained alot in that lost ...THAT is when u know that u are healed when u take pass relationship and know the good that comes out of it ....soo easy to talk about the bad stuff and the **** the exes was ..not so easy to come up with the good they did for u ..
and guess what .guy that never made an committment ...i dont see him like i use too ..he was everything ..now its ok if it doesnt work out ....

plenty of fish out there girl ...be the bait, be the treasure, be the gold they want to dig ( fish) for..


my rules

1) he calls five times, i call once, keeps u from being cliny, ( calls include emails, private IMs ..any contacts) ...
2) let him be an open book....if he ask u what u think ..smile and say as little as possible .. be the mystery and treasure u were meant to be ...
3) always polite, fun to be with, honest, friendly, but yet be your own person, your own life, your own hobbies, goals and plans ...DONT GIVE that up for anyone ..
4) learn when dating a guy ..always provide in your life that they enjoy being in, cant wait to wake up come over and share your life with u, cant wait to get off work so they can find out what is going on in your life.



ok time to shut up here ..im writing a book now ..LOL ...
gotta go ....:)


 Pyke
Joined: 1/8/2005
Msg: 12
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What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 6:38:34 AM

So, i have this guy who i've been dateing for almost a month now. He lives 2 hours away. But says he wants to be with me and wants me etc. Just his life is really busy with work and his kid and his ex. I call i get no answer. For the last week his phone is turned off and mail box is full. When i do talk to him he tells me he really miss' me etc. So it keeps my hopes up that he's telling the truth and just go with that. Now i see on POF that it says online today but i get no messages and no phone calls. What do i do? Do you think he's lying or telling the truth? I hope for the best, but i need advise. What do you think in this situation. Something in my heart says believe him but people(friends) say **** him, ditch him! But i can't!!! I want him too much to ditch him over a little bit of lack of communication.


Misunderstanding something you say is a little lack of communication.

Ignoring your phone calls altogether isn't exactly in the same league. Doesn't matter how busy you are, you can always return calls to someone you care for or find the time to be with them.

I would say dump them. You're a pretty girl - and I'm absolutely sure you can do a lot better then someone who can't even be bothered to talk to you.
 **Mandy**
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 13
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 7:33:30 AM
Wow thanks everyone for the posts. Its muchly appreciated!! So i take in everything that everyone is saying, even that story book post!! WOW! lol.....had to make sure i had popcorn for that one lol. jk.....But yah....with the phone situation last time we talked he said he lost his charger that's why his phone is off, and the situation with the ex....she's just draining him for all his money cuz she has his kid, nothing to do with court order. He see's his kid whenever he wants. And see now this post has been up for one night, i get online this morning and it shows him on MSN in "away" mode but no messages to me or nothing!! And i'm signed all all night/day!! What does that tell you?????
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 14
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What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 8:21:38 AM
He's definitely got someone else he's with.
A little lack in communication is one thing... but the total blackout, only to be broken once in a while with "I miss you"... I don't think so.
Especially not when you can see him online, but he's not talking to you. Even if he's got something important to do... he could take a second to tell you he's still thinking of you.

Move on my dear. You're far too fine a woman to be wasting your time with a loser like this.
 Pyke
Joined: 1/8/2005
Msg: 15
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What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 8:29:52 AM

Move on my dear. You're far too fine a woman to be wasting your time with a loser like this.


Definately concur. Too bad she lives 3,000 miles away

-Matt
 *tinydancer*
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 16
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 8:31:39 AM
Get a new boyfriend maybe? He's playin ya most likely and you're falling for it. And he's busy with his X -- WTF? Don't sound good to me. He gives you just enough to keep you hanging on, nothing more. Lack of communication is a giant red flag for me.
 wildflower1967
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 17
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 8:36:31 AM
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo heheeh popcorn ...i love popcorn ...
hey and i totally agree with adam .....its time to move on ...let go...
the i miss u is maybe just a passing though he gets when u call him ..it might bring some old feelings back but not strongh enough to hold on too ..
start dating ....trust me there is tons of hot guys on this site ...( points to adam ..my new friends) and says see what i mean...lol
i am talking to many new friends on here both guys and gals and its great ....a bunch of good looking people on this forum .....gotta love u all ....!!


even got some dates but its all about having fun and enjoying yourself.
 tim3step
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 18
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 8:44:57 AM
If he's that into you, he'll make the time for you.

I'd say move on.
 Roamingsiris
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 19
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What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 9:20:32 AM
Wildflower...

WTF.
WTF!
WTF?

Let him contact you 5 times before you contact him?

DONT DO THAT.

I would wander off thinking that you wernt really that intrested in me. At the best.
I would just walk away thinking "concited b!tch" At the worst.

If you like the guy go for more of a 1 for 1 ratio. I call fridaynight to see if you want to go out and do somthing. You call sunday afternoon to ask about a picnic. NOT I call friday, sunday, wed, friday, saturday, before finally getting a call somtime early next week. Thats a goddamn week of me wondering if you broke the buttons on your phone or somthing.

 Pyke
Joined: 1/8/2005
Msg: 20
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What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 9:29:58 AM
Maybe she did. Phone's aren't meant to be used that way...
 couldusecompany
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 21
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 10:14:34 AM
You know what Mandy? If he truly cared, he would make time for you. And he would contact you sooner than he would go onto POF.

Run away. Fast.
 Diva Po-Po Princess
Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 22
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What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 10:36:43 AM
Drop him. Ignoring calls is usually the tell tale sign they're too scared to break it off with you. I will call twice. Once and then a couple days later. If I don't hear from them in a week, I move on. If they are like my son's dad...I called him and asked him if he wanted to go do something last Thursday and he said he'll call me back as soon as he got home from dinner with his parents....well he didn't call and still hasn't. If they say they will call YOU, I leave it at that. Don't go chasing this guy and move on. JMO.
 wildflower1967
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 23
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 10:48:43 AM
hehehehehehe u r making me laugh Roamingsiris...thats funny....

but seriouly if a guy was treating me the way the this guy is treating her ..i would..she is being to easy on him ...:(
 **Mandy**
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 24
What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 11:16:41 AM
Hey now, no cat fights on here lol. Thanks again everyone, i enjoy reading what everyone has to say on this situation. Well its 12:30 in the afternoon he's still online in away mode and i still haven't heard anything. What if he was telling the truth and his computer does log him on and offline all the time without him being around? What if he still has his phone charger lost. Maybe i am being too easy on him. I try and give them the bennifet of the doubt and just believe what they say. I believe him, but now my friends all think he's a****for doing this to me. I am starting to think i did something wrong but how can i do something wrong when he's not around for me to do anything good or bad you know? I still wanna hear what everyone has to say on this situation before i end it 100%!!!! It's still all thoughts on what i should do and no action.
 Pyke
Joined: 1/8/2005
Msg: 25
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What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my calls?
Posted: 8/10/2006 11:30:22 AM
Mandy look;

If I was dating you and my phone charger was lost, I'd call you and let you know from another phone. It's not like phones are in short supply.

I sit in busy mode pretty much 24/7 on MSN, even when i'm not there, but always reply when I am there. I know sometimes it signs me in/out, but I still get the messages when I get back, and I reply to them. (Most people I know do that too; they reply once they get back if they are genuinly away).

And this isn't a case of once or twice, it's continuous for him. People should be given the benefit of the doubt once or twice, maybe a couple times, not to the ends of the earth. I realize you're a caring girl and kind but at the same time, you have to stop him from using you or you're going to get hurt by an ass.

Most guys here will agree w/ me. If they care about a girl, they will find a way to talk to her because they enjoy talking to them, and spending time with them....
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