| POF MAIL: FILTER: Messaged for intimate encounters or sex [Closed Thread]
Posted: 9/14/2006 1:54:55 AM | Ok, I need to take issue with the operators of POF. Maybe just an explanition if someone can help me.
The thread is now blocking anyone that has even sent a message to someone that has previously messaged somone that has "intimate encounter" on their history.
Can this be cleared or reversed or ... something??? I'm not a monster, just because I've messaged someone that has Intimate Encounter on thier preferance - am I???
There are a number of people that I am unable to even send an innocent message to.
Is there a solution to this? | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/14/2006 4:01:27 AM | I also have an issue with this new policy as it 'nailed' anyone that had done so BEFORE the flag was there... It SHOULD have only acted on anyone that HAD contacted someone AFTER the flag went into effect...
And for the record, I am NOT affected ny this flag BUT I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH IT!!!
BAD DESIGN DECISIONS LIKE THIS WILL DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY NOT ATTACT NEW PEOPLE!!! | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/14/2006 4:15:37 AM | Ok, I need to take issue with the operators of POF. Maybe just an explanition if someone can help me.
Issue with the operators? firstly, it's just "operator" - singular, and that would be Admin. Moderators do not handle any site functionality changes - strictly forum control only.
The thread is now blocking anyone that has even sent a message to someone that has previously messaged somone that has "intimate encounter" on their history.
The thread is blocking?? huh?? Irrespective of what that may mean, how did you come to this history conclusion??
In any event, it's the women who have decided they don't want to receive messages from you.
Same as someone who lives overseas who thinks you're too far, same as someone who may not want to talk to you because you're out of their age range, same as someone who doesn't want to talk to you because you may smoke, same as someone who may not want to talk to you because you're not looking for the same type of relationship, or because you smoke, or do drugs etc - do you have issues with all these women?
Same idea with contacting someone for an Intimate Encounter- some women would rather not have contact with you for that reason - doesn't speak to you being a monster at all. They've made that decision.
As an FYI - it has to be more than just one innocent message before you get tagged with your proclivity for such contacts.
Moderator | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/14/2006 4:21:52 AM | That does not match the way that flag is described...
It is explained as anyone that has messaged even once to someone that is looking for sex or an intimite encounter will forever after be blocked from making first contact with anyone who has the filter set....
IT IS A BAD DESIGN FEATURE THAT MUST HAVE BEEN DONE AS A KNEE JERK REACTION...
As someone who programmed computers for 20 years and am now retired, I see no proper documentation to people or any explaination on how time can reset things if they even do...
And who makes the decision on this:
"It has to be more than just one innocent message before you get tagged with your proclivity for such contacts."
I've lost count of the bad system designs I have seen on this site and only stay here because of the people I like that still use it until something better comes along | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/14/2006 4:49:13 AM | It is explained as anyone that has messaged even once to someone that is looking for sex or an intimite encounter will forever after be blocked from making first contact with anyone who has the filter set....
nowhere does it say "even once" as you describe above ... In your mail settings it says only this:
Block users from making first contact that have messaged others for sex or intimate encounters
If you can tell me where it says even once, i'd be curious as well.
Admin makes all decisions, I'm only relaying how it works as far as Moderators know. | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/14/2006 4:52:24 AM | Block users from making first contact that have messaged others for sex or intimate encounters
Implies that you send one message and you get the flag set so the filter activates even if he message was sent months before the filter went on line.
If the Admin doesn't want that type of profiles, REMOVE THAT OPTION from the 'I am looking for' and let people know that you don't want them here...
I understand the friendfinder group of sites would be glad for their business... | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/14/2006 7:13:09 AM | Implies that you send one message and you get the flag set so the filter activates even if he message was sent months before the filter went on line.
The above, are your assumptions and or conjectures, which are incorrect on both counts.
The following phrase as taken directly from the mail settings ...
Block users from making first contact that have messaged others for sex or intimate encounters
... does in no way, gramatically imply, one message, nor can you assume that the flag setting is retro-active. Read it again. It can, and does however, hold grammatically correct, for more than one message.
As someone who programmed computers for 20 years and am now retired, I see no proper documentation to people or any explaination on how time can reset things if they even do...
There was a rather lengthy discussion on this very same matter a while back. The finality of this matter is that there is a certain threshold that must be met/exceeded before you are flagged. This figure is not published, but rest assured it's not just "one", as that would be ludicrous. If you were a programmer in the past, then I'm fairly confident that you would understand that certain parts of how a site is administered or coded, will employ certain security measures that cannot be revealed, lest users try to circumvent their operation. Certain filters and their workings are confidential - only Admin, again, for obvious security reasons has this information.
If the Admin doesn't want that type of profiles, REMOVE THAT OPTION from the 'I am looking for' and let people know that you don't want them here...
Again, that is an assumption on your part and logically flawed. By the sheer fact that there is a choice available, negates your assumption that Admin does not want them here. Admin has allowed for a certain number of relationship seeking types, and has accommodated for them. The filtering of those types and any other criteria is all within the control of the individual user. Again, if you don't want to talk to a smoker, you have that choice. If a woman wants to protect herself from someone who likes to engage in casual sex, and if it makes her sleep easier, to some degree, it too, is within her control.
No system is fool proof from circumvention. However, some due diligence is taken.
There really is no further debate on the matter that hasn't been covered in umpteen pages on the matter previously.
Moderator | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/14/2006 7:34:38 AM | I agree with trapped...and I don't think it's just women that want the option to have the filter. If a man is truly looking for a "long term relationship", he probably doesn't want the gal that has messaged 50 guys looking for a hook-up.
The choice of relationships needs to be kept, and the filter works well. Probably lots try to circumvent the rule, but I believe they probably all get caught again eventually. There are many websites for people searching for a booty-call.
The only problem I have ever found is the "prefer not to say"....with smoking or drugs or having kids. You either do or you don't. Best not to leave it up to the viewer to "fill in the blank". If you can't decide whether you do drugs---maybe you've done too many already. | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/14/2006 9:22:51 AM | And for the record, I am NOT affected ny this flag BUT I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH IT!!!
BAD DESIGN DECISIONS LIKE THIS WILL DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY NOT ATTACT NEW PEOPLE!!!
The first step in this direction was taken about 1 year ago to limit Site Access to numerous foreign countries, answering up to the flood-calls from the wild such as:
"Me maka luv to u long time".
Act II: ... Gurjingh & Rashneesh walking up the Forum Planks proclaiming "Racism" and "Discrimination". From a more technical Perspective, the Site was constantly being bogged down by this Type of Non-Sense.
As the Site continued to grow, further similar Implementations were put into effect such as refining E-Mail Blocking, "Instant Messenger" Tools, Profile Hiding, and streamlining Reporting Functions.
This newer particular Feature under Question was brought into Existance as the Result of endless Abuse by too many Men on this Site mass-mailing the Inboxes of too many Women who were not interested in any "Intimate Encounter" Relationships. Their Mailboxes were cluttered up to the point where "ease of oversight" was lost and were practically forced to delete their Profiles and start anew.
Doesn't leave a very favourable impression among Women of this Dating Site.
THE ONLY THING DRIVEN AWAY WERE THE WOMEN.
It was born out of Necessity, not Whim, where the Reigns of Choice had to be handed over to Women to decide for themselves who they wish, and who they wish not to be contacted by. By insinuating the Site Programmer or Administrator was barking up the wrong Tree, your Assessment of "Bad Design" has no Basis other than to deny the Priviledge of Choice.
If a Woman locks her House Gate, removes the Bell, un-plugs her Phone, and houses vicious Dobies in her front Yard, so you cannot possibly contact her, are you going to cry about "Bad Design" up the Steps of City Hall to have them un-lock the Gate, re-install the Bell, plug in her Phone, and cage up the Canines?
Just because Women have the Priviledge to create an Account on Site, does not mean they have to receive Messages by any or all Individuals who wish to contact her.
Let's get real here !!!
How many times can you E-Mail someone who has their Profile set to "Intimate Encounter"? Its variable, and is the only answer you will ever have. The Point of this Methodology is not to assist anyone to circumvent these Screen-out Functions.
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/14/2006 6:07:26 PM | i think it's a GREAT idea! it's the woman's decision to make if she doesn't want some dude contacting her who's contacted other women for sex. (and sure, guys should also be allowed the same option).
sorry that some of you think it's unfair, but don't you think a woman should have the right to make that decision if she so chooses? and also sorry if you think it was unfair that it was implemented AFTER you had contacted someone for I.E. - LMAO! are you telling me you wouldn't have done it if you'd known about the filter? gimme a break!! don't be sore at the admin because women now have the option of NOT being contacted by guys who are and have looked for casual sex and it cramps your search options now!
and puhleeeeze don't use the excuse that you just wanted to be 'friends' with that person and wasn't looking for sex... *eyes roll* | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/14/2006 6:18:16 PM | sorry if you think it was unfair that it was implemented AFTER you had contacted someone for I.E
tracking of IE contacts happened at the same time the filter was implemented, consequently any prior emails to IE's were a freebie. If you think about it, all emails by all members in the prior 2 to 3 years would have had to have been tracked. It's not realistic to flag someone for past actions - much like swatting a dog on the snoot for something bad it did last week. | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/17/2006 8:58:24 PM | Not complaining about this new function. Actually believe it to be a good thing. But I have a question about clarification.
Block users from making first contact that have messaged others for sex or intimate encounters
Does this mean that it only applies to the FIRST email and not to any (even a first) responses?
As an example, if someone messaged me for IE and I was polite enough to send a message back saying "not interested, thank you", or if they (whose profile says they are looking for IE)were asking me something on a legitimate topic and not seeking IE and I replied, would I be flagged under this new filter (assuming it happened often enough to meet the filter threshold)
Thanks
Understood. Thanks again | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/17/2006 9:14:50 PM | | You don't get flagged if an IE contacts you- that is to say, if you reply to an IE intiated email. One only gets flagged if they do the contacting to an IE, and for the record, it's more than just once. One has to show a tendency to repeated contacts of such individuals. | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/17/2006 9:54:05 PM | I think it's a great rule
THE ONLY THING DRIVEN AWAY WERE THE WOMEN.
There's already many more men on this site than women. I've known of women leaving this site because of the type of emails they'd routinely recieve. If this new message restriction allows some women to feel more comfortable here, then it's working.
If I can contact them, and the Hulk Hogan wannabe can't, it's his own fault, not the admin's fault. | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/23/2006 9:34:28 AM | | I was just speaking on this in another thread. I totally hate this option. Either party involved could have changed from what they were doing now til then. I think this is a bit unfair. You could have been contacting someone you hadn't seen in a while and just happened to run across their profile on this site | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/23/2006 9:37:03 AM |
The thread is blocking?? huh?? Irrespective of what that may mean, how did you come to this history conclusion??
In any event, it's the women who have decided they don't want to receive messages from you.
Same as someone who lives overseas who thinks you're too far, same as someone who may not want to talk to you because you're out of their age range, same as someone who doesn't want to talk to you because you may smoke, same as someone who may not want to talk to you because you're not looking for the same type of relationship, or because you smoke, or do drugs etc - do you have issues with all these women?
Same idea with contacting someone for an Intimate Encounter- some women would rather not have contact with you for that reason - doesn't speak to you being a monster at all. They've made that decision.
As an FYI - it has to be more than just one innocent message before you get tagged with your proclivity for such contacts.
Not to mention that you might not always check the relationship the person was looking for. You might have just saw their pic and thought you liked their profile. The profile might not have been intimate. | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/23/2006 9:45:25 AM |
There's already many more men on this site than women. I've known of women leaving this site because of the type of emails they'd routinely recieve. If this new message restriction allows some women to feel more comfortable here, then it's working.
If I can contact them, and the Hulk Hogan wannabe can't, it's his own fault, not the admin's fault.
This is not going to stop them from getting those types of message. Now all the person has to do is not contact women who are looking for it and not set the option in their own profile, and they can still contact a women and send her that type of message. It won't help that much. Not to mention a lot of people put their e-mail address and IM name right on their profile. | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/23/2006 10:08:29 AM |
This is not going to stop them from getting those types of message.
It will from those who get flagged and they have the block on.
Now all the person has to do is not contact women who are looking for it and not set the option in their own profile, and they can still contact a women and send her that type of message.
He will also get his account deleted if he's reported for harrassment and lude behavior. (solid proof required, of course)
Not to mention a lot of people put their e-mail address and IM name right on their profile.
Which is also against the rules and will result in account deletion if it's not corrected.
/Dog | |
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aggo
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Joined: 6/19/2005
Msg: 19 | |
| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/23/2006 3:42:29 PM | | I don't think this new rule works at all. I think some people are liable to use this indiscriminately. I haven't sent anyone any harrasing or lewd emails but I'm now prevented from contacting people with this option. Blocking the offending person should be sufficient and/or contacting the admins if necessary. | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/23/2006 8:24:03 PM |
I don't think this new rule works at all. I think some people are liable to use this indiscriminately. I haven't sent anyone any harrasing or lewd emails but I'm now prevented from contacting people with this option. Blocking the offending person should be sufficient and/or contacting the admins if necessary.
This has absolutely nothing to do with sending anyone harassing or lewd emails. It's to do with repeatedly contacting women/ or men, who are seeking an Intimate Encounter, irrespective of the tone and nature of your email to them.
Let's get it straight once and for all people, this is a filter that is not imposed on anyone and is under any user's control if they wish to use it. Much like people who do not want to be contacted if, for example, you smoke, they also have the ability to block contact from you if you show a repeated tendancy to contact people who are seeking an Intimate Encounter. | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/27/2006 3:30:00 PM | I'm a woman and I must have contacted someone who was listed for intimate encounter by mistake. I don't recall who it was and it was early when I first signed up so I was getting to know the site and probably didn't pay too much attention.
But I now feel branded because there have been a couple of gentlemen that I've wanted to contact but they have the Block feature opened.
My question is -- is there a statute of limitation? Are you branded for life or can you eventually make parole and finally free from the tag? | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 9/27/2006 4:44:50 PM | Rather than keep you wondering, we (Moderators) do not have the answer to that question as it's proprietary information held by Admin.
Just as another FYI, the only branding that occurs is when you yourselves speak of it openly in the forums, otherwise no one is the wiser to your predicament, as no messages are sent to anyone when you have been blocked for this particular event - only you know.
Regrets. Moderator | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 11/2/2006 6:49:58 PM | All I can say is - I keep getting messages from people who have "Intimate Encounter" in their "looking for" field, as well and people who have "hang out" or "dating" also looking to hook up or try to get me on cam.
In fact, these are all the instant messages I ever get!
How do I report these users?
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 11/2/2006 7:03:39 PM | Upon first contact from someone who is looking to "hook up" - block them. If you don't, and they continually harass you via email
a) block them
b) report them via the Report User link at the bottom of their profile
c) drop a note to the global Forum Moderator account. (click on the underlined link and send that account an email with the user name)
If their first email was simply to look for a "hook up" and if it wasn't abusive, there really isn't any grounds to report them, they're more of an annoyance and the block should suffice.
As for IM's, that's another story since the block doesn't stop them there. Go to your mail settings and set the IM switch to only receive IM's from users on your favourite list. Put a disclaimer in your profile that if someone wants to chat via IM, you would prefer to establish an email exchange first, basically you should be able to tell from an email exchange if they're worth chatting to. That's my suggestion on the IM matter if you're continually being bombarded with idiots.
If someone contacts you with abusive IM's, follow the same steps above.
Moderator | |
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| Messaged for intimate encounters or sex
Posted: 11/29/2006 4:56:05 PM | | POF is judging me, not by the company i keep, but by the strangers ive met. it suks ass, and ill go elsewhere, the forums are good, but that filter is REALLY shallow. ive been here for around 2 yrs and it sucks now. once i was flagged, i decided im just gonna talk to whoevr i want, shouldnt i be able to do that anyway, without being judged? what kind of crappy dictatorship is this? | |
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