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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Do men really mind dating women with children??      Home login  
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 vixn000
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 1
Do men really mind dating women with children??Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I am a single mother of two small children ages 1/1/2 and 2/1/2 so they take up a great deal of my time. also i work and go to college full time I am not lookin nfor a babies daddy by any means just someone who dosent mind bein arount the three of us... It seems like they stay around long enough to see if they can get in my pants and upon finding out that I am not easy, decide to make there get away ... alot of times men run at the mention of two toddlers. I dont think its the age I tend to date older men ... Any way I would appreciate any feedback you have thanks
 theIsin
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 2
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/15/2007 9:41:06 PM
I would not take it serious thats all...
 rusty741
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 3
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/15/2007 9:44:54 PM
Dating women with children means us men have to be serious. Last thing I want is to get to know a child, and worse that child get to know me and than break out of the relationship because the mother is physco. Not saying that fits your profile, but its like we have to jump in head first. I'm not opposed to it, but i'd have to know in my heart its the right girl, cause the kid, can't do that to the kid just be another dude in and out of his/her life.
 Eyvli
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 4
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/15/2007 9:54:55 PM
For me it's the knowledge that I'm dating not only her but also will, if the relationship grows, have to take on a massive, amazing responsibility that I'm not sure that I am ready for....and, to be honest, that's a little bit intimidating.

So, it's not a "mind thing" at all, rather, it's a "wow, I'd better be serious about this relationship because, if I'm not, I can wind up hurting more than just her." In part this is a result of being a child of a mom who desperately wanted to find companionship and, who, dated a lot of men who were ***holes to not only her but me as well. Thus, it makes me nervous because I cannot just enjoy the relationship without also obsessing around if I'm ready to be part of a family.

Now, I know that you said that you weren't looking for a "babies daddy", but, I think it's a natural thought for a lot of guys to drift to. So, coupled with the above, I don't think men are running from you per se but rather from the assumed responsibility that you'll be asking for them to take up...even if you're not actually asking for it.

Finally, in regards to guys trying to get into your pants and then exiting stage left when unsuccessful, well, consider it a good screening mechanism. You know what their priorities are and they don't seem to be honest companionship and a growing relationship.

-D.
 vixn000
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 5
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/15/2007 10:10:30 PM
I appreciate the insight ,it is a huge redponsibility. I guess I diddnt realize that men in general would drift in thought like that.. i guess it seems to me a bit like countin your chickens before they hatch ... bein way too serious about a relationship thing . I guess i never get into it expecting anyone to take on anything at all but i can understand how the misconseption would be made thanks again
 Doos
Joined: 8/5/2006
Msg: 6
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Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/15/2007 10:16:18 PM
Far too much responsibility right off the bat. As a single mom, you can SAY a lot of things about it:

Father is out of the picture.
Not looking for father looking for boyfriend.

Etc. Etc.

The truth is, guy walks into that situation knowing it isn't just him and you. Which can be problematic enough, just getting two people together and having a good time. Mix a couple of kids up in that, and it's just a lot more responsibility and maturity than some dudes would be willing to muster just to get to know someone.

I mean, maybe I'm just young, but I certainly wouldn't want that kind of responsibility unless I created it for myself.
 Bk2
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 7
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/15/2007 10:39:42 PM
Hi Vixn,

Q: Do men really mind dating women with children??

A: I cannot speak for all men but personally I think it is a great package -don't mind whatsoever!

Wishing you the best finding a nice guy!

O:)


 Engr
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 8
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 12:15:19 AM
Vixn, guys will date you for sex. However, for marriage, it's a trade off--a hot single mom with better looks vs. a not as good looking single gal. Can you even name one reason that a guy would marry you if he could marry your single twin that does not have children? I'm sure you can think of a number of reasons why he would not.
 juddscrud
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 9
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 12:16:30 AM
Hiya all.....just a quick input from the uk side of the pond..my opinion anyway!! .....

I agree with most of the previous points raised..but also a lot of it is maybe down to age?!?....when your a young guy, the worlds your oyster and it takes a serious attraction in the girl in question to 'pin yourself down' with the responsibility of the 'full package'...most young guys, if we are being honest, just want an easy life with all the luxuries a 'girl on tap' provides...but throw into the equation children and its a totally different ball game!

when you get older though, its becomes less of a problem because A: men grow up....and B: most women have children , so the problem diminishes.

if it is an issue for any particular guy, then he obviously isnt ready for any sort of serious commitment and no girl should settle for anything less, so maybe you should re evaluate.

whatever you believe though, there is always guys out there that will love you for you as a person and the kids side of it will not be a problem.

take care and good luck..x
 miss_bren
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 10
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 1:31:08 AM
I felt like putting my two cents in here, I've a thing about my son not meeting anyone I'm dating because I dont feel it would be responsible of me to have a revolving door of men, not sure but seems like you're open to letting them meet. I've a question for you, if you met a man that you werent serious about but really enjoyed his company and liked dating, would you really want him spending time with your precious children? Not saying my opinion is universal but maybe you should consider it? It might help relieve the stress for men that wish to date you, that way they dont go WHOLY CRAP she wants me to meet her kids ;) Either way good luck finding what you want.
 Rustoleusmaximus
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 11
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 8:22:42 AM
It does not bother me ... there are many of US who are single with children. You (of course) have to be careful to protect the childrens hearts etc.
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 12
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 8:38:51 AM
Women often list the number of kids, but not as often the number of dads.
 h0ldfast
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 13
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Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 8:44:45 AM
Children aren't a deal breaker for me, nor for many of the guys I know, at least for dating. Being a good mother wins points in my books any day. However, I want children of my own some day, and sometimes my chances seem better for this if I pursue a woman who hasn't had kids yet.
 scruldbrug
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 14
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 10:09:22 AM
Date? Sure.

Live with? Nope. Never again.
 inkme4life
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 15
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Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 10:17:32 AM
i dated 2 that had a kid one of them was still close to the father as he was still very much in the picture, and the other one i was dating, the father of the child was not involved in there lifes and i must say it was kinda weird and awkward seeing the father always coming around so i didnt like that to much other then that its just up to the guy and his comfort level with the situation
 Nos800id
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 16
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Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 10:28:43 AM
My wife has 3 kids that are not mine 2 of them live with us and I love everything about it.

Almost every guy is different you just need one thats out there for you.
 Interdimensional
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 17
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 2:17:21 PM
I met my fishie on here a year ago. Three Children all under 10. Two cats and a hedghog. We have since expanded the circle with an additional two dogs. Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Yeti1
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 18
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 3:46:58 PM
I don't mind a bit..just more to love..I know there "could" possibly be issues with the baby's father, finance or the lack of quality time between the two but the main thing we're talking is Responsibility..Who DON'T have issues? Some people have serious issues..(single or not) Single parents just have a greater responsibility since they are raising their kid(s) by themselves..Their focus is ON their kids but do realize that single parents take time out for themselves as well..Yeti
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 19
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 5:31:02 PM
I dont mind if they have kids...in fact, I prefer it if they do...

You get a good idea about someone by listening to how they talk about their kids, and how they talk to them.
 vixn000
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 20
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 6:51:36 PM
you see thats just the thing I am not ok with having my kids all involed in the equation but I am by no means gonna put them aside for any man ever .... This is the reason I have been single and I am extremely picky, Not sure if you know but the world of mature responsible men is almost non existent.. so Yeah I guess I am not even sure how to go about weeding through the bad ones withought putting stress on the children
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 21
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 8:45:17 PM

This is the reason I have been single and I am extremely picky, Not sure if you know but the world of mature responsible men is almost non existent...

But most young men are responsible and mature. That is why we prefer to be involved with responsible young single women and we pass on immature and irresponsible young moms.

There are a number of older and less desirable young men on this site with a stated preference for single moms. However, since you are picky, they are the ones you don't want anyway. Nevertheless, there are many men in their thirties that, for their age, are attractive and have a good job that would love to have a sweet young thing. Since most young single gals are not interested, they would be happy to settle for a young mom.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 22
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 9:54:27 PM

Your posts are always so funny!

I pleased that I can at least provide some entertainment.
 guynamejeff
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 23
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/16/2007 10:49:12 PM

Nevertheless, there are many men in their thirties that, for their age, are attractive and have a good job that would love to have a sweet young thing.


>raises hand
 vixn000
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 24
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/17/2007 2:06:46 PM
In my expierience mst young men are absolutly not mature in any scence... responsible hell no... If you prefer a single woman with no kids thats your poragative but the fact of the matter is women with children are the most responsible and mature. with children how can you not be. how they ended up that way is another story and not for you to judge; perhaps it was at the hands of a so called responsible mature young male that all of a sudden turned into a child himself. you say your responsible and mature but when you are faced with the biggest responsibility life hands you you run.....
 snowboardMTBikeguy
Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 25
Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 3/17/2007 4:34:16 PM
kids are part of a package these days, and I expect most woman I meet to have kids, it's the age bracket I am in. I will say if her kids are out of control or she appears to see her children as a nuisance, defiantly not for me.
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