|Amish lovePage 1 of 2 (1, 2)|
|I had a girlfriend ask me one time what my sexual fantasies were and how she could make them come true. Now, I've read the Kama Sutra as well as many other books on the subject of bedroom experimentation. As a younger man, I had encountered Cougars who exposed me to many things (let's just say some scars never heal). Not to mention the proliferation of porn on the internet making us all experts. So I'm no innocent fresh off the farm. I thought about her question and I realised I had one of the strangest fantasies of all...|
I dig on Amish love.
Don't get me wrong. Sometimes a house-music-on-the-stereo-freak-session is just what the doctor ordered, but nothing puts a smile on my face like having the lights off and kissing and hugging in the missionary position (and neither feels prideful).
Sure, some manual/oral stimulation during foreplay... who doesn't sprinkle brown sugar on their oatmeal?
I don't know why I'm such a fan of boring sex. It's the love-making equivalent of a Perry Como album. And yet it drives me wild. Am I alone? Am I a freak?
Please note that, in no way, am I suggesting I know anything about the Amish or their lovemaking techniques.
Posted: 4/5/2007 3:32:02 AM
|Naw OP, you aren't alone and you aren't a freak. LOL Sometimes good old vanilla sex is a wonderful thing. The beauty of the whole sexual experience is that there are so many variances, and not everything about it is about performance and outdoing the last porno flick. I wouldn't say that it's any part of my fantasies, but sometimes it's definitely the style of choice |
Posted: 4/5/2007 5:12:11 AM
|It's a lot to ask of someone that they come out from behind their bedroom tricks to meet you openly and simply like that. You are asking them to look into your eyes, notice who you are, and join with you as closely as two people ever can be. There is nowhere to hide, no way to stay safely within themselves waiting for you to finish so they can resume explaining your faults. Are you mad or just reckless?|
Posted: 4/5/2007 5:17:15 AM
|Please note that, in no way, am I suggesting I know anything about the Amish or their lovemaking techniques...|
"You have junk the size of my Uncle Johan's prize bull, English! Now take me plainly!"
Sorry... I'll behave now.
Posted: 4/5/2007 5:59:56 AM
|I used to Star in Amish Porn Flicks.. I was in such classics as "The Butter Churner" " Hot Buggy Action 3 and 7" "Two Girls for Ezekiel" and the Amish Porn Musical "Bringing in the Sheep"|
Posted: 4/5/2007 6:54:58 AM
were you also in: Up for Milking at the Crack of Dawn?
Posted: 4/5/2007 6:57:36 AM
|No! That was me... but he was "Bearded Guy #2", in "All Holes Filled with Plain, Bearded Men 3"|
Posted: 4/5/2007 10:52:52 PM
|This thread is hysterical!! |
Why do the Amish have button flies?
So the sheep don't hear the zipper!
Posted: 4/5/2007 11:07:42 PM
|I'd be a little upset about the thread going off topic, but it's so funny I can't deny its merit.|
Although Amish love appeals to men (keeps sex from becoming too much like exercise) its women who seem disappointed by the venue. Why is that? You'd think it would be right up their alley.
Posted: 4/6/2007 12:48:58 AM
"You have junk the size of my Uncle Johan's prize bull, English! Now take me plainly!"
hmm [nerd alert] that sounds like british/puritain-speak, but FYI (and trust me on this one), the amish natively speak their own special version of German [not Dutch], from when they're little kids. they know english very well by their late childhood years, but they often have unrecognizable accents, and by no means british / colonial-sounding ones
(BTW: "Pennsylvania Dutch" is a misnomer for "Pennsylvania Deutsch" which is the Amish language; and of course "Deutsch" German)
Back on-topic, though, why should there be anything 'weird' about getting a rush about normal / vanilla sex? That's what the definition of *normal* means, hehe... I have to agree, while sometimes hot&spicy is the ticket, other times it sure is nice to go slow and sweet.
Posted: 4/6/2007 1:49:36 AM
|This was totally NOT what I was expecting.|
"An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold
blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing
cold." The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat
will warm them up." The daughter did, and her hands warmed up.
The next day, the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, "My
hands are freezing cold." The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The
warmth of my body will warm them up." He did and warmed his hands.
The following day, the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter.
He said, "My nose is cold."
The girl replied, "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will
warm it up." He did and warmed his nose.
The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he
said, "My penis is frozen solid."
The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother
again, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"
Slightly concerned the mother said," Why, yes...?! Why do you ask?"
The daughter replies: "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost,
Posted: 4/6/2007 7:57:44 AM
|Oh man...we are going to burn for this :)|
I love this thread, and I do think that things go full circle. After everybody's done swinging from the chandeliers, and joined the mile high club it is only reasonable that they come back to the wildness of crisp white starched aprons and flapjacks before the 'barn' raising.
Posted: 4/6/2007 9:52:01 AM
|I don't know for Amish love-making practices either ...even if I grew up in PA Dutch Country, but Kelly McGillis was pretty hot looking in her "Witness" role.|
As for the rest of us English-speaking citizens all going to hell for contributing to this thread, having sex w/ other than conceiving a child in mind, and experimenting to maximize the pleasure of the participating parties, I prefer not going there or being here alone.
Posted: 4/6/2007 9:58:31 AM
|Kissing and hugging in the missionary position is true "love making" not just sex...it's very intimate, close, sexy, sensual hardly boring sex....It's not about gushing- muti-orgasm-whambam in your face SEX....It's true making "love"....You can't get any closer|
Posted: 4/6/2007 10:46:13 AM
|well what to say with this topic i guess to say it all being born and raise Amish and living life as amish untill a few yrs ago when i decide to leave and join the english world i can say that "Amish Love" is no different then any other love just cause one is raised Amish dont mean they are different then those raise Jewish Amish are like everyone else with the except that we dont use elecetric cars etc. theres nothing different we eat the same as everyone else do things everyone else does. Amish are normal people there are amish that are in to modern things such as internet some communities are alil more strick as others. but as far as how amish do it they do it the same as everyone else does there is nothing different.|
Posted: 4/6/2007 10:50:51 AM
|Thank you for that. I poke fun, but it's because I am woefully ignorant of their way of life, except for TV and films... and they never portray things truthfully anyway.|
Posted: 4/6/2007 11:04:11 AM
|Not to change the topic or seem disrespectful for your upbringing and what I could never disagree w/ for the Amish lifestyle, except I know of a few Amish who kept their own modern ammenities out of sight from others, but please read what you wrote ...and then ask yourself how well you've joined the English world. Otherwise, thank you for adding your POV here ...and for reminding me of of old friends. I recall one who was a millionare who couldn't sit at the same table for commity meals because his wife was of higher order.|
Posted: 4/6/2007 11:15:05 AM
|by meaning of the english world is what the Amish refers to as in what they call english world i live every day now as non Amish i have electric i own a car i dont have to live by the elders of the community Many think that the amish are different growing up life was some time hard many people dont know what the Amish have to go through theres things not heard of as driving down the road in your buggy and have eggs n rocks thrown at you, having your dairy barn burned down cause of being amish walkin in to stores n not getting served cause of being amish tourist invadeing your home meaning tourist just stop on ur land and walk through your home because they think you are there for there entertainment and that ur apart of the tourist attraction or that the goverment pays u to be Amish or remarks made that your amish you dont have to pay taxes well we do we pay taxes just as everyone else does. i enjoy a lot of what modern world has to offer i love the fact i have a car and a good job makeing money that i may not of been able to have being living the amish life and like the old saying goes you dont know about ones life style ask amish are very friendly helpful forgiving understanding people and will answer anything u like to know as long as u dont invade the privacy of there homes|
Posted: 4/6/2007 4:51:50 PM
|aye, aye, capt, as I said, you reminded me of some dear old friends. I don't doubt you for the eggs, stones, and what else the Amish folk have had to endure for a lifestyle not understood by most and ridiculed. Now, have you anything to add for "amish love" that might make others sit up and take notice for the tempations of sex ...and to help get this thread back on track?|
Posted: 4/6/2007 6:28:08 PM
|i think i did mention about it they love just like everyone else does although strongly advised that sex happens after marriage there are those who stray n do prior to . the only thing i dont think happens much is wild sex kinky type if i was married n living amish i would say that amish love would be true love cause the one your married to your with them till the end and i think it would be more passionate.|
Posted: 4/6/2007 7:21:06 PM
|No argument from me for your interpretation of "amish love", and I'd surely welcome knowing more women here in "English" w/or w/o a Southern drawl who could feel likewise. Perhaps being Amish is a bit too kinky for those who buy into the popular thing to do.|
Posted: 4/7/2007 1:06:12 AM
|Look, I didn't mean this to be a treatise on the Amish. I only used the word "Amish" as a sort of cultural shorthand... meaning something that is more mundane and traditional than modern and exciting. Someone else referred to it as "Vanilla Sex" or words to that effect, which is just as good a label as any.|
The point of this posting was to discuss one's preference in the bedroom. For all I know, the Amish may use a complicated series of ropes and pulleys during the act of lovemaking. I don't know and I don't want to know.
Posted: 4/7/2007 6:28:58 AM
|all i was trying to do is give people a better understanding of the life of Amish. For years Amish have dealt with a lot of things. people judge the amish just like they judge people of other religions and races. it wasnt till about 6 months ago that people put aside the differeances and pulled to gether to help it took 5 precious childrens lives to make it happen. the amish are no differeance then anyone we do jsut about the same things as everyone else with a few exceptions thats not allowed like electric phones cars etc. people always wonder how one can survive with out these things we been surviveing for hundreds of years this way the life style the clothing never really changed since we settled here. as those of you who know amish people you know that they are the best people to have as friends they are always there to help out when needed they are friendly although some may not think that for in the public we are useally quiet. our life styles are set they way they are for they bring a since of being closer to God. i didnt want to up set anyone or make a argument out of it i was jsut trying to give people a better understanding of amish. you set aside the modern things we are just the same as everyone else. i wasnt offended by it i knew sooner or later there be a topic of this i just wanted to try to give an understandign of the amish people|
Posted: 4/7/2007 6:46:46 AM
|Missionary is not 'right up my alley'|
I think it is all personal preference, but for you to assume that missionary would be right up a woman's alley is very presumptuous of you. What makes you think she wishes to lay there and take it???
Posted: 4/7/2007 8:30:48 AM
|jardinero, I was w/ a woman who commented to me after the fact that she was totally surprised to have had an orgasm in this position the first time that we decided to put our sexual tension behind us. She made me wonder which ones were more likely to bring these on. |
In the course of the nearly year long relationship, did we vary far from "missionary"? No, and while she loved to spoon, doggie style wasn't her thing either ...just as "soixante-neuf" wasn't more than what she'd do to appease me at times. She claimed that she couldn't concentrate. I truly loved the woman, but the little girl still alive ...and well, once sexually by a neighbor on an Air Force base, couldn't bring herself to tell me more for her own pleasure other than her wanting to deliver it.
Ultimately, it was extremely frustrating to me for a lack of communication and for 'fair play' in the activities attempted otherwise. Not so much as a moan when we were alone ...w/o a another soul w/in screaming distance has me happier for our parting. As for first time together, though, it didn't take more than her trembling and being as wet as she got ...for me to know w/o her saying that she'd had an orgasm. There's something to be said for trembling w/ anticipation and having the confidence to carry on as one already knows best.
There's something also to be said for those who can rise above past abuse and ridicule, either as a person or as one of a people, to find another soul willing and able find mutual sexual satisfaction if not true love for what needs to transcend the bedroom to endure, no?