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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?      Home login  
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 Kirstie_uk
Joined: 11/1/2007
Msg: 1
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?Page 1 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
I met a guy about 2 years ago on a different dating website... went for a drink... got on great and ended back at his place.

After he got what he wanted he said that he was not looking for a relationship just 'friends with benefits'.

2 years later, we are best friends, see each other every day, go on holiday together, but still cant call me his girlfriend.

Obviously i made the mistake of sleeping with him for two years cause i totally and utterly fell for him bevause im sleeping woth him.

Do men feel anything emotionally when they have sex or is all just physical???
 jesseld
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 2
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 4:59:48 PM
Couldn't tell ya, I've never had sex with anyone I thought I loved.

Now as for regular sex, it feels good, but as for emotional attachment.... no, can't say I've felt a thing in that regard.
 Harry Peter
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 3
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:14:41 PM
Just because your friend isn't in love with you doesn't mean men can't feel emotions when having sex. Sometimes men have emotions that go along with it.
 Kirstie_uk
Joined: 11/1/2007
Msg: 4
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:16:05 PM
So men dont fall in love when they have sex over a long period of time...?

I think its different for women... its harder not to get emotionally involved.
 Harry Peter
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 5
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:16:30 PM
So men dont fall in love when they have sex over a long period of time...?


God no. We don't have to at least. Sex alone rarely is what does it. If ever.

I see your question below, and it won't let me post, so I'll answer here. Yes, we feel emotions during sex if we're in love.
 Kirstie_uk
Joined: 11/1/2007
Msg: 6
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:17:58 PM
OK... so if they are in love... do they feel anything emotional?
 MAPT
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 7
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:24:03 PM

So men dont fall in love when they have sex over a long period of time...?



Men fall in love over time..but generally that's a real relationship and not the FWB scenario..


Of course JMHO
MAPT
 Solarpanel
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 8
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:25:51 PM
Eh, OP, I've got this same issue with women.

I had lots and lots of sex with my ex-wife (4 kids) but on the day it dawned she didn't love me I couldn't touch her - she was willing to continue having sex but I couldn't, it was too painful. I'd suspected she actually didn't love me for years and it just makes you feel like you've been fooled and dirty. Having sex with someone you love is actually a very important thing to do, eh? I thought a great deal of her but she regarded me with contempt and just kept it a secret. Ouch.

I once had a one night stand when I was 19 and while it was a quick cheap thrill I wanted to love the girl next day - it just didn't feel right and I decided never to do that again and never have.

I've had many women since come after me for sex-only but I know it's not me. A sex-only relationship will seriously damage your self-esteem if you actually want love. I suggest you go for what you really need and dump anyone who gives you half the story.
 ForRealxoxo
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 9
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:32:43 PM

OK... so if they are in love... do they feel anything emotional?

Men are people too! You fell in love with the wrong man! Women have broken my heart more than once, it hurts every time. Seems some women don't feel much emotional pain.
 JadeForever
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 10
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:38:28 PM
I guess with me I don't have sex too quickly because I want to ensure they are somewhat "emotionally" attached before I do ... because as soon as I do the "deed" I get emotionally attached immediately (a little strong morals) and if he wasn't it would probably break my hear.

Nevertheless, I have a lot of male friends and they have advised that a lot of the time (not all the time) that if the "spark" isn't there immediately (or very shortly after) it doesn't ever come and they are constantly looking for another female even though they are fooling around with the one. I know this is probably not the answer you want to hear but I though you may be interested.
 LadyofYouth
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 11
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:42:19 PM
Oh, not with me, I feel too much emotion which is why I prefer NOT to sleep with a man until I have gotten to know him..........of course, that has turned a few away and made a few others, that I didn't want to be with anyway, want me all the more. I've been with three men in my life.........so you might say I'm picky, but I like to call it being particularly selective. I am afraid of being hurt, have been hurt, and so that may be what's keeping me from meeting the right man. However, there is someone I really care about and we're good friends. We've been friends for a little over three years. How do I get him to be more than friends with me? This probably belongs on another forum.....lol. *checking*
 rutryin2bfunny
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 12
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:46:25 PM
I completely agree with solarpanel.
This doesn't seem complicated to me.
This guy is not your type.
You seem to want a traditional type of thing, with love, commitment, and maybe kids.
Obviously he doesn't.
He may be very attractive, but he is not your type.
You will not be fulfilled unless you seek out and find your type.
Don't try to change this one, unless you have all the time in the world.
Good luck to you.
 visions1
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 13
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:46:56 PM
it can b just physical!

but if you see each other everyday, became best friends, go on holidays together...

it doesnt seem to b just the phisycal anymore....you guys seem like bf and gf...maybe hes just afraid to admit youre his girlfriend cause he associates having a girlfriend with something bad!

youre in a relationship, and youre exacly like bf and gf....but once youre tagged as such, it brings a whole lot more responsabilitie, compromise, and other issues he might b afraid of or not want to deal with....

 JadeForever
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 14
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:49:42 PM
You are correct visions1 as my brother is "dating" a wonderful gal (not as long as the OP) however if you say they are boyfriend and girlfriend she panics and announces in a determined voice that they are "dating". Hmmm very interesting ... it might be a commitment phobia thing ... (whispering ... maybe that is my issued! )
 clorin
Joined: 11/4/2007
Msg: 15
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:57:04 PM
BURNED!!!!!! Next time.. you need to think with the thing on your shoulders and not between your legs. You gave this guy everything he wanted without the commitment. I guess my brother was right, there are endless supply of people like you.. muhahaha.
 fouthempire
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 16
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:59:15 PM
Now is that really fair to project your choice to get involved with the wrong man on the rest of us?

If you went out for a drink and ended up in bed with him, that's your choice. If you ended up as friends, that's also your choice. But we didn't do it. Hell, you're hot, I'm sure there are a bunch of men who die to give you slice of heaven.

C'mon, I'm sure you see the writing on the wall. You let a guy get in your panties too quick. He tells you he just wants a FWB. You become friends, you're hoping for 4th down conversion (from friends to girlfriend). It hasn't happen.


And then you ask if men feel emotions when we have sex?

The answer is yes. But we men aren't the problem.

Have enough self worth to not sell your _____ in hopes for one day becoming his girlfriend.

Yes, there are men who feel love, intimacy and closeness through sex.

Go find one.
 LingoDingo
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 17
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:59:52 PM

A man can be just as emotional as a woman, though it may not be as obvious, as most of us men are raised to internalize our emotions. Usually our actions will give us away, much more than our words do.

It sounds like you have a FWB relationship, and that you are hoping that some day it will grow in to a romantic relationship. While it's possible this could happen, the chances are VERY slim.

...If what you truely want is a full blown romantic relationship, I would end your FWB accommodation ASAP. It's will only hold you back from finding the romantic relationship your heart craves.

Don't settle for an imitation relationship, when what you want is the real thing.

 .Marc
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 18
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:01:01 PM
I can't be physical without some emotions behind it.
So yes, men feel things--- but he may not. Everyone is different.

Never enter into a relationship with different goals than the person you're with. If you're in love with a person, and they tell you they don't want a relationship--- well... you have a problem. This whole situation could have been easily avoided. (Though I sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve, so who am I to judge...)
 JadeForever
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 19
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:08:03 PM
I think though in the defence of the OP that some of us may get physical with a guy prematurely and "think" that our hearts won't get involved and that we too only want FWB but I find with most women the heart kicks in shortly there after (and some men). (Again I am the chicken one so I haven't attempted the FWB route as I am too scared the my heart ... which it will ... will kick in ... but maybe I have lost a few because of that ... who knows)
 .Marc
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 20
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:12:55 PM
^ Though there is a flip side to that coin. Usually those of us who get attached know that about ourselves and compensate for it.
It would take something pretty Earth shattering to get me to sleep with someone that I wasn't already in love with.

The tricky part is when you love someone and they don't love you-- but they still want to be physical. Like the situation here. It's hard to turn down. Luckily it only happened to me once-- and I managed to be firm. But it's really hard to NOT think the stupid thing. You know. The old, "Well, maybe THIS will make them love me."

And people-- if you ever find yourself thinking, "Maybe THIS will make them love me" with ANYTHING .... slap yourself with a herring (preferably red) and reassess the situation.
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 21
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:22:10 PM
Kirstie, all men like eating lasagna, there aren't any men who don't like lasagna. My point? What you said only applies to some men, and it depends on who they are having sex with. If a man is having sex with someone he believes he has tons of chemistry with and he is a very sensitive male, then he will fall for the woman. You're also assuming that women all get affected by sex the same way. That's just far from the truth. Plenty of women who have strong physical urges look for men to fulfill them. This man it seems enjoys you a lot as a friend, he enjoys you sexually and as a person, but he doesn't feel that ultimate connection to you. He is not really making love to you, he is having sex with you. If you were having intercourse with another man, it would possibly be a whole different ball game. I definitely feel something during sex if I really like the woman. If I don't feel a strong connection to her, then I don't, and the same applies to many women who are trying to get their needs met by picking up men..
 noiman
Joined: 3/4/2007
Msg: 22
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:33:05 PM
first of all most men dont usely shows there emotion, due to certain reson..
1.agreement when they firt met you (JUST a frient ship)
2.they've been cheated befor (now they toughen it out)
3.lack of confidence towards there arelationship
4. there shy to admit
5. or just plain lazy and bad
this is just me am speeking of, but i could getthem all wrong curect me if do.
 Verzen
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 23
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:35:49 PM
We feel emotion...
Everyone does.
When my ex did all those horrible things to me, it basically made me afraid to love again because im scared of getting hurt again...
 DenaliDadd
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 24
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:40:39 PM

OK... so if they are in love... do they feel anything emotional?


I'm not sure it's fair to equate one with the other in males. Unlike the female of most species, the male of most species is capable of the act of sex without the feeling of love. How's that for a controversial statement? It should generate some conversation!
 annadel
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 25
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:57:11 PM
Just decided to kiss off guy I've been having sex with as he is totally not there I feel like I'm having sex with male prostitute. Wow it makes you feel really dirty . Does knock your self esteem around a bit too. I deserve better, but you have to be really careful because they know all the right things to say. Really what can you expect on a dating site. Well its an experience I will remember and hopefully learn from. My body is precious and I don't give it away easily. I just gotta wise up . As to your question about men feeling anything , yeah if they want too. But they have to want too. I'd drop him if your not getting your needs met.
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