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Thread: Women and Being a Challenge

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

Women and Being a Challenge Posted: 11/25/2009 7:27:08 AM
I think the problem is that when you start being a "WE", you tend to forget about just being "HE" and "SHE". You need to take time out to just pursue your own interests without your SO...time away from each other will only make you more happy to see each other when you ARE together. Don't give up your identity to become a "Couple"...at that point you cease to be the person who attracted your SO in the first place!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 127 (view)

How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date Posted: 11/23/2009 1:08:14 PM
Perhaps she doesn't want to pay for a date with a man who refers to her as a "chic"?? I always insist on going dutch for the first date...after that I prefer the "every other date" rule of paying.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 90 (view)

Christmas is coming - how do you deal with Santa and your ex? Posted: 11/17/2009 11:23:02 AM
I'm so thankful that my kids are too old for "Santa", but he still seems to bring them a gift every year (usually the "family gift", like a new TV or video game that we share). My youngest's dad gets him on Xmas Day, & I get him on the Eve every year (this is because his stepmom has a HUGE family get together, and my family seems to get tinier every year!) I usually spend a little more on my oldest, since his dad isn't in the picture and the youngest gets spoiled rotten by his. I like the idea that one of the posters had about telling the kids Santa will stop at mom's AND at dad's house. You should buy your kids gifts from you and Santa and make your EX do his own dang shopping!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Visitation: Dos and Don'ts Posted: 11/17/2009 10:00:41 AM
Wow...I'm SOOOO glad that I get along great with my son's dad...we DISCUSS things like this without raising our voices or directing blame at each other. I'm also thrilled that my son's step-mom is a nurse and has access to information that made it easier to make decisions regarding health. When your kids dad has his "custody" days, you pretty much have no say in what they do or where they go...it's his right as a father to take them to church if he chooses to do so. I would suggest getting some kind of "co-parent" therapy.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 161 (view)

Multiple children by multiple partners Posted: 11/17/2009 9:54:30 AM
I admit it...I was careless when I was young & had a child with a man who refused to have anything to do with him. Should I have given up on having another child just because the loser who gave me my terrific 1st son doesn't want to father another one just so the boys have the same absent father??? My youngest son's dad has been a friend of mine since we were 13 years old...HE at least is around and being a good & responsible father...and our son is wonderful...should I have been denied the chance at this wonderful child just because his father isn't the same as his brother's? Geeezzzz

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Do You Want Children? Posted: 11/17/2009 9:36:50 AM
I put "NO" because I'm happy with the two I have, DO NOT want to parent anyone else's kids and have been "fixed" so that I can't have any more. Just my preference.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

adjuvented or non-adjuvented Posted: 11/17/2009 9:35:19 AM
My youngest son's stepmom is a nurse, and said that she doesn't trust these untested vaccines and is against using "our" son as a guinea pig. I totally agree!! God only knows what kind of long term effects this stuff may have on our kids!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Explaining to a Child why a parent is absent Posted: 11/17/2009 9:33:12 AM
I told my son that a "father" and a "daddy" were two different things...anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy. I've told him only good things about his father, and that not everyone is cut out to be a daddy...I also told him I was in no way sorry for having him & supporting him on my own...it's him & I against the world! Since he's turned 18, he's made noises about finding his father, and I wished him luck. I can only hope that his father will not be an azzhole to his son when they meet, but the impression he gives is totally up to his father.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

Are the cards stacked against me? Posted: 11/17/2009 9:26:05 AM
What's wrong with Nicolas Cage???? I think he's HOT!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

No-one likes him except me Posted: 11/17/2009 5:22:28 AM
From past experience: He'll suck you dry, then say goodbye. But, before he goes, he'll make sure you're alienated from your friends & family, and that you have unexplainable debts to pay off. DATE him if you like, but whatever you do, DON'T support his lazy azz!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 87 (view)

Coupons and Dating Posted: 11/16/2009 12:01:04 PM
Considering that on a 1st date, I usually insist on going Dutch, I'd be more than thrilled if someone wanted to use a coupon for our meal!! I think it shows that the gentleman is very conscious of the economy & is unlikely to be a spend-a-holic in a relationship.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Embarrassing moments brought to you by your kids Posted: 11/16/2009 9:59:05 AM
When my kids were younger, we were just moving into a new apartment complex...the type where all the backyards are facing together & they have playground equipment there. The boys ( they were 7 and 2 at the time) were out checking out the play area while I unpacked the kitchen. A short time later, I heard my 2 year old crying and ran out to the balcony in time to see his older brother push down a bigger boy and yelling "NOBODY HITS MY BROTHER EXCEPT ME!! I was horrified, and yelled his name out the kitchen window...he turned, looked at me, looked back at the other kid and said "AND MY MOM!" I was sure the entire apartment complex thought I was a child abuser after that!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

How long does it take for you to get sick of people? Posted: 11/16/2009 7:17:38 AM
If I had to talk to anyone EVERY DAY, I'd probably shoot myself (or them). Once or twice a week is more than enough. Stop over, hang out, have some fun, and say goodnight (unless he's spending the night)...and spare me the text messages!!! I really hate talking on the phone, too.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

honest answer... Posted: 11/16/2009 7:12:02 AM
Well, I am in your position. I wish to change nothing about my FWB relationship, and neither does he... Don't question things if they're going good...just enjoy them as they are!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Torn between morally right & right to be happy Posted: 11/13/2009 9:51:18 AM
Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast??? YOU are married (Yes, separated is STILL MARRIED). SHE is married. If you go there, you deserve everything you get.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Looking For Some Real Honest Answers Here Posted: 11/13/2009 9:31:57 AM
I must say, women are the worst at being on the cell 24/7 and in touch with every human being they know. It completely robs any relationship of the time required to be whole with your man and not be exhausted at the end of the day. All of you should Google Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I personally HATE talking/texting. I only have a phone so that I can keep track of kids & for emergencies, so I hardly think I need to be Googling anything. Men are just as bad (at least my oldest son is!)

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 83 (view)

Living expenses and pride.. Posted: 11/13/2009 6:02:37 AM
I hate to tell you this, but you will never see any of the $$ he owes you. I've been here & done this and I can tell you that he's going to stay and stay until you finally kick him out, and I'm betting he still won't have a job! Get Free....Quick!!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Playing the Posted: 11/12/2009 7:05:58 AM
The only men I ever say those words to are my sons. I've heard the words, but the actions never seem to play along...so I don't really trust them anymore.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 295 (view)

are women playing GOD when they become pregnant Posted: 11/12/2009 6:14:52 AM
Now why would I want to play at being an imaginary "god"? My oldest son's dad wants nothing, NOTHING to do with him, and has never even seen him...All 18 years of his life he has had only me to parent him. This was his FATHER'S CHOICE, not mine. My youngest son's dad & I get along great, and his step-mom is an awesome co-parent. We share equally in our son's life and have never used him for leverage in any way, shape or form. Everyone makes their own choices and need to live with their decisions, not blame a mythical creature for their fate.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

The Kids Hate You? Posted: 11/11/2009 1:00:30 PM
I depend quite a bit on my kids opinion of the men I've dated. A couple of them still call & talk to, or hang out with the boys now & then!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

In love with my best friend, but she's got a boyfriend Posted: 11/10/2009 7:28:33 AM
She cheated on her MARRIED boyfriend with you... "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!.............." You ALL need to audition for Springer.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating? Posted: 11/5/2009 7:44:08 AM
For the most part, the forums make me laugh. AND make me glad I have a FWB and am not currently looking to date.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 148 (view)

Would you date a man who lost everything? Posted: 11/5/2009 7:22:53 AM
I'd have to say I'd "date" the guy, but there's no way he's moving in with me! I've already lost thousands of $$ on "guys who lost everything" supporting their lazy butt's.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

should i try to win her back? Posted: 11/5/2009 6:38:09 AM
I could leave her alone, get on with my own life, seek a new girlfriend, and let what will happen happen. ^^^^ Yeah, that one!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/5/2009 6:36:47 AM
Put the running shoes on and GO!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 61 (view)

Dating and Depression Posted: 11/2/2009 12:51:58 PM
I have a "social anxiety" issue, which my doctor wanted to treat with anti-depressants...problem is: I'M NOT DEPRESSED!! I've fought long & hard against my social anxiety...forcing myself to tend bar, go public places alone, start conversations with strangers, etc. and I've managed to overcome the majority of it. I don't think I could handle dating someone who IS depressed though...Perhaps I'm afraid it will affect how I handle my own issues.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

Gender Shift Posted: 11/2/2009 12:27:11 PM
I guess I'm a tomboy when it comes to the fact that I dress in jeans & hoodies, know my sports, can handle a crowd of drunken males (tended bar for YEARS...great tips!) & work (in the office) for a construction company. I can also swear like a trucker. In bed, I'm definitely a feminine girly-girl.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Borrowing money after 3 weeks Posted: 11/2/2009 9:25:20 AM
You gave her the $$$ ???? Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast???? NEVER EVER EVER EVER give money to anyone you just met!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 76 (view)

When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail? Posted: 11/2/2009 8:11:46 AM
I tend to cry when I'm seriously pissed off, but I never use it as a "tool"

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Quickie Marriages in Las Vegas, or plain old Marriages in court Posted: 11/2/2009 8:02:11 AM
If I'm ever crazy enough to get married, I'm goin' to Vegas to get married by an alien in one of those quaint little "chapel 'o' love" places!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

Jesus is stealing my girlfriends! Posted: 11/2/2009 7:28:43 AM
Perhaps you'd be better off dating girls who don't have imaginary friends...that way they can't use them as an excuse not to date.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 151 (view)

why only date good looking prima donna's? Posted: 10/30/2009 6:29:18 AM
If Barbie is so great, how come you have to buy her friends?

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 61 (view)

Best friend was hitting on your spouse. What would you do? Posted: 10/29/2009 6:17:23 AM
One of my exes & his best friend had an ongoing scenario in which one would hit on the other's new girl to see what would happen...if she went for it, she was GONE. We were shooting a friendly game of pool at a local bar when they did it to me, I gently pushed the friend away, and when my boyfriend came back, I asked him, in front of his best friend, if he could please ask his friend to back off. They laughed like crazy! I was the only girl he'd ever dated who DIDN'T take a shot at the best friend.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 86 (view)

does every straight/bi woman think brad pitt is hot? Posted: 10/28/2009 12:04:04 PM
Brad Pitt is NAAAAAASTY! EWWWWWWWWW! Gimme Nicolas Cage any day!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Is different taste in music enough for you to kill the second date? Posted: 10/27/2009 12:13:39 PM
I had a boyfriend once who was in a band that did that screaming, horrible death-metal crap...they practiced in my basement & I hated every moment of it!! It does tend to spill over onto the relationship if it is a constant issue. Rap is out of the question for me, along with deathmetal...I can tolerate country music a bit better, but give me someone who enjoys classic rock!

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

Closed Minded Sugarcoated Love Posted: 10/27/2009 8:31:12 AM
My mother is a closed minded Christian Is there any other kind? Seriously...It's YOU who needs to be happy in the relationships you choose, NOT your mother...

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

I think my teen daughter is gay.. Posted: 10/23/2009 6:40:47 AM
I would be less concerned with the sex of the person my teenager was lusting after, than the probability of he/she having their heart broken. If you are as good of a father as you sound, you needn't worry...when she decides for sure what she wants, she'll probably let you know.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

FWB: Mans view vs. a Womans Posted: 10/23/2009 5:56:37 AM
I've been in a FWB relationship for nearly 2 years now...with a man who has been my friend for 13 years. The reason it is not a LTR is that we have no desire to live with each other or marry each other in the future. We are great friends & always will be...we share our hopes, fears, desires and enjoy each others families as well. We'll probably still be going strong in our FWB stage when most of you have married & divorced numerous times. If he was just a FB...I wouldn't give a ratsass about his feelings, etc.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

Holding off on having sex with a women?? Posted: 10/23/2009 5:39:10 AM
you are seeminly to young to know you don't have a guy overnight unless your intending to marry him.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

should i continue with her Posted: 10/22/2009 1:16:11 PM
I think someone needs to add some chlorine to the gene pool... If you continue to see her, you deserve everything she takes from you.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Hypothetical question re preschool children's fear and scary movies Posted: 10/22/2009 8:14:56 AM
I've never edited what my kids have watched (with the exception of porn...lol). My oldest son's favorite movie when he was little was Nightmare on Elm Street...he even had a 4-year-old size Freddy outfit for Halloween one year. My youngest's favorite movie was "The Mask"...he loved the "green face guy". I've always been obsessed with horror flicks & now that the kids are grown, they've taken on the love of horror as well...we go as a family to see all the "Saw" movies. I think if you watch the movies with the child & let them know that it's all "pretend", they are less likely to be frightened. We spend most of our time laughing at the idiots who get caught by the killers! Just my opinion.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 75 (view)

To baptise.. or not.. Posted: 10/22/2009 8:09:41 AM
I was raised Methodist, but stopped going to church after I was confirmed (when my parents said it would be my decision to continue after that). I DON'T believe in god, but I DO believe that it is my kids choice to make if THEY do or not...so no, I didn't baptize either of them...why should I when I don't believe? As of now, my oldest doesn't believe in god either, but the youngest does. They are free to make their own choices & if they decide to get baptized I would attend the ceremony only out of respect for them, not out of the belief that it would change anything.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Is it acceptable to date/marry a Man who is a stay-at-home Dad? Posted: 10/21/2009 12:13:07 PM
I dated a "stay at home" dad once...even let him move in with me. Problem was, all he did was "stay at home"...no cooking, no cleaning, etc. It cost me Thousands of $$ to get my life back. There are jobs out there if you are willing to work (even if it means working at a job you consider "below" your skillset). I'll never support a man ever again.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

Mouth Shut or Tattle? Posted: 10/21/2009 5:31:12 AM
I see a lot of posters concerned about April...but what about the bartender? Does SHE know about April? How much will SHE be hurt? This guy is an a$$...if you're business associates, keep it that way...this isn't someone you should cultivate as a friend.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Do FWB relationships ever lead to something deeper? Posted: 10/16/2009 1:03:27 PM
I'm currently in a FWB relationship that has been going on for YEARS! It suits us both perfectly & we're both really happy with it. Maybe someday when all our kids & sick parents are out of our homes we'll make it something permanent, but why mess with what's working....

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

What kind of guy do you want to marry? Posted: 10/8/2009 6:13:29 AM
I don't want to get married. I don't even want to live with anyone. I like living alone and I'm extremely pleased to be in a FWB relationship that has been going on for years...I see no reason for anything to change.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

The girl I was seeing, wont talk to me after the party at her house, any advice? Posted: 10/7/2009 9:12:44 AM
Well, I don't know about your girlfriend, but personally I'd never invite you to another party AND I'd make you pay for the ruined sheets.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

do you want more kids or are you done Posted: 10/5/2009 12:32:26 PM
Only ever wanted one. I got him plus a bonus one...then I was cut, tied & burned...I AM DONE!!! I love my boys, but I sure as he77 don't want any more! I'm looking forward to being a grandma someday tho....

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 87 (view)

Forgive and forget? Do you really mean it? Posted: 10/5/2009 9:29:48 AM
I may forgive a minor infraction...but I NEVER EVER EVER forget.

CookieLady66

Joined: 11/7/2008

Msg: 90 (view)

My 18-yr-old son has been stealing from me. Posted: 10/2/2009 5:39:40 AM
We have settled the "rent" issue over supper last night. It is to be a fair share of chores around the house when he is home...doing his own laundry, If I cook he does dishes, etc. When he gets a job he can pay rent...and 1/2 of what he pays will go into a savings account for when he decides to move out. When I got home last night all but 1 load of his laundry was done & so were the dishes. I've been taking my purse with me (even to the bathroom) wherever I go so that no temptation arises to take any more $$. He actually asked if he could do EXTRA chores for cash around the house so he could have gas $$ (so I had him take out the garbage). I think we're working through this satisfactorily (is that spelled right? it looks wrong.) and if he can keep it up, our home will once more be back to normal.

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