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indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Dealing with Conflict in a Relationship - What Would You Add? Posted: 7/19/2009 3:41:57 PM
Put yourself in the other person's shoes (so to speak) .... in other words, before you do or say something "Think, what if my S.O. did or said __________? How would I feel about that" ?

Indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

stood up on my first date. Posted: 7/18/2009 2:58:48 AM
Op ........... I'm sorry this happened to you but I think this guy was playing a game. Like one poster said you have written being stood up on your profile is a major thing you will not tolerate. I think this person read that and did it out of spite. How some people can be so very rude and cruel I'll never understand.

Indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

Settling for somebody your own age? Posted: 7/8/2009 3:34:09 PM
I'd prefer to date in my age range. It would be too strange for me to date anyone young enough to be my Son's age or old enough to be my Father's age. That's just my preference.

Indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 244 (view)

Do you feel comfortable dating someone who is seperated Posted: 7/8/2009 3:20:13 PM
No, I wouldn't. Separated is still married.

indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

are we more then friends? Posted: 6/18/2009 10:02:11 PM
OP, it's only been a few weeks. Most great relationships start out as friends first. Give it some time. Best of luck! Rose

indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Falling Head Over Heels Posted: 6/14/2009 8:33:13 PM
Falling Head Over Heels You've just met that special someone and made a connection. Or realized you're in love with your best friend! Problem is, you don't know if they feel the same. When pursuing a new relationship, there are a lot of mistakes waiting to happen if you aren't careful. Here's how to avoid heartache: Go Slow Passion is a funny thing. On the one hand it makes us feel like we are flying, but it can also make us feel out of control. Whether your new love is an old friend or a stranger, going too fast may push them away. They might be surprised that you feel so strongly, or relieved and excited by your confession. Let them make the next move. Talk with Your Friends Get a feeling for what your friends think of your new crush. Do they see a friendly and nice person? A potentially good match for you? Maybe they can't believe you want to date such a thoughtless jerk! If you are head-over-heels, getting outside advice will help you see more clearly. Give Them Room Even though you may want to jump into a relationship, your love interest may already be committed to someone else or healing from a recent break-up. Give them room to work out their past relationship issues before you get serious. Try a Casual Date It can be hard to ask someone out if you have strong feelings for them, so invite them to a casual date with friends first. Going to a concert, the movies, or just out to lunch with a group will help you relax and be more natural. You'll feel less pressure than an official date and you might have more fun! Don't Get Angry If your crush isn't interested in you, don't be angry. They may be having problems with work, friends or relatives that you aren't aware of. You'll be hurt by the rejection, but remember that they were honest about their feelings. Passion and desire can overwhelm us at times, so it's helpful to be aware of how your emotions are affecting you. If you balance your strong feelings with good judgment, you could find that new crush turning into a lasting romance.

indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Don't look for love until you love yourself Posted: 6/12/2009 10:33:25 PM
In the day and age where our lives have become much like that of going through a drive-in window, we begin to find we don't have time to do the things we enjoy, or find that time to have a quality relationship with ourselves, others in our lives and hence flowing over into our spiritual relationship. Our lives have a three-fold relationship, the relationship we have with ourselves, the relationships we have with others, and our relationship with God or one's Higher Power. Over the years I have heard people tell me, I don't have time for me, or that's selfish and self-centered. One of the most important relationships one will have in this lifetime, is that relationship with one's self. When one fails to be the care-giver to themselves, what you inevitably will see is this flows over into the relationship with others, on into ones spiritual relationship. All three independent relationships, yet all part of the whole. Few years ago I read a article, about how many of us have become "sleep-walkers" going through life. We basically are like that ball in a pinball machine, we move along, the course, we slam into a "life obstacle", instead of seeing the importance of that obstacle, we continue down the course until slammed again, and hoping like heck not to fall into the hole at the end of the game. Life isn't about punishment, or being tormented, or slammed around, its truly awakening from that sleep and living life to the fullest and its potential. Seeing that "life obstacles" as lessons, that prepare us, shape us, develop who we are, what we become, in order for us to share with not only ourselves, but others and our spiritual journey. We awaken to learn what it is to love oneself, self-love. Defined as "regard for one's self", note it doesn't say "having only concern for oneself". How many times have we heard the questions asked, "I wonder if anyone loves me." We begin to base that love on what others thinks and says, our self-worth isn't based on those who love us or doesn't love us, its based on "Do we love ourselves." ? We all have different beliefs, after studying various beliefs they all in some form or another come back on this lesson, self-love. It always bring to mind, when Jesus said, "Love God and your neighbor, as you love yourself." Basically confirming you can't be one without the other. Over the years I have heard people state, "Its easier to love others than myself", reason being its painful to look at the reason we can't love ourselves, so therefore we "literally stuff that pain" deep within ourselves, grasping for those "quick fixes" from the feelings and emotions of loving others. Self-love is discovering what is the best for one's own well-being. Discovering that self-love is not what is always good for others, what is fun, or what makes one feel good but a honest, self-reflection, self-criticism and analyze that sometimes maybe difficult and demanding of who we are. It's discovering what your own self-needs here are and recognizing them. Self-love demands self-discipline, self-recognition, and sacrifice yet through the process will come the courage and strength, thus in turn we are then able to reach out to others. We begin to learn to take time out for ourselves, instead of reaching that "burn out stage", knowing when we need to either let our body rest, or take a mental break. Its learning to see when we need to step back, and be the care-giver with our own being. When we do this for ourselves, not only is it healthy for us in our own growth and daily living it is healthy for those around us. We get so busy fulfilling the" "responsibilities" in our life, we feel we don't have time for ourselves. We send a loud message, "I'm not worth the time." Like that pin ball game, that process of hitting one obstacle to hit another, all the time trying to avoid going into that hole, we find ourselves there sooner or later. No one can stop this spiraling "sleep walking" process, until one decides for themselves to end this vicious cycle or course they are on. Take that time today, to see the importance of how all three relationships have to be nurtured and tended. For if one is neglected, it spills over into the other two. Learn to rediscover you, as the person, the unique individual. One who is self-confident, one who is constantly evolving and changing, one who is not "lifeless" but full of life. One who isn't just seeking answers, but one who is asking "life giving questions." Take that risk of knowing what to live means, knowing what the "obstacles" the poundings one endures, to become life lessons in teaching you of your self-strength, self-love, self-endurance and self-respect. Going forth to develop healthy relationships with others and building a stronger bond in your spiritual relationship.

indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality? Posted: 6/12/2009 3:45:22 PM
It is not necessarily a pleasant experience, but there will be times in our lives when we come across people who do not like us. As we know, like attracts like, so usually when they don’t like us it is because they are not like us. Rather than taking it personally, we can let them be who they are, accepting that each of us is allowed to have different perspectives and opinions. When we give others that freedom, we claim it for ourselves as well, releasing ourselves from the need for their approval so we can devote our energy toward more rewarding pursuits. While approval from others is a nice feeling, when we come to depend on it we may lose our way on our own path. There are those who will not like us no matter what we do, but that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with us. Each of us has our own filters built from our experiences over time. They may see in us something that is merely a projection of their understanding, but we have no control over the interpretations of others. The best we can do is to hope that the role we play in the script of their lives is helpful to them, and follow our own inner guidance with integrity As we reap the benefits of walking our perfect paths, we grow to appreciate the feeling of fully being ourselves. The need to have everyone like us will be replaced by the exhilaration of discovering that we are attracting like-minded individuals into our lives—people who like us because they understand and appreciate the truth of who we are. We free ourselves from trying to twist into shapes that will fit the spaces provided by others’ limited understanding and gain a new sense of freedom, allowing us to expand into becoming exactly who we’re meant to be. And in doing what we know to be right for us, we show others that they can do it too.

indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 173 (view)

IS IT POSSIBLE TO FALL IN LOVE ONLINE? Posted: 6/9/2009 11:01:50 AM
Your very welcome, Suzanne. Love & Light .... Rose

indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

What are the ingredients to a good relationship? Posted: 6/7/2009 8:36:27 PM
^^^^^^^ not2old2fly, You are correct!! Our homes are our havens. These places where we come to rest, recharge, and dream in safety and comfort allow us to better face the challenges of the world outside our doors. When sharing a living space with others, an awareness of the thoughts and feelings of everyone involved is essential in creating the peace we all desire. Regardless of where we lived before, each time we cohabitate with others it is important that we make the effort to share the space in a way that supports everyone. We need to remember that in a shared space, everything we sense can also be sensed by another person. Peace will not likely be the result when the senses are filled with the sight of unwashed plates, intrusive sounds, unpleasant smells, the feel of a foreign substance beneath bare feet, or the taste of food tainted by an uncovered onion in the fridge. But if we communicate and listen with respect to those with whom we share a space, we may find that one enjoys washing dishes to end the day, while the other can take out the garbage during their evening walk. Working with another’s schedule, you can still meditate or exercise to your favorite music while the other is out, and save reading for the times when they are trying to sleep. Being thoughtful of the energy that is required for something to be cleaned up may make everyone aware of being neater, whether that means taking off your shoes at the entrance or wiping up juice spilled on the kitchen floor. In the same way, pent up resentment toward your living partners is just as easily felt. Keeping the energy clear requires the effort of communication, the awareness of another’s feelings, and courtesy toward the space you share. While that sometimes requires changing your schedule or habits, there are many times when having a caring someone nearby is worth all the effort. Living with others can help us learn to mingle our energies at home as well as at work and in the world at large in a way that benefits us and everyone around us.

indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 171 (view)

IS IT POSSIBLE TO FALL IN LOVE ONLINE? Posted: 6/7/2009 2:34:46 PM
Believe it or not this happens all the time. There's just one little problem... they've never met. Romantic hopefuls now have so many ways to find each other - online dating, chat rooms, and social networking sites all provide new options of communicating with total strangers that may never meet face to face. Yet they often grow to feel so connected and insist what's happening is real. I mean, hey - they've got the endless texts, emails, and instant messages to prove it. Who cares that their beloved perhaps lives far away and could be lying about everything? What does it matter that they haven't so much as held hands? This is l-o-v-e and they've never been so sure. Why, in this world full of opportunities would this "close but not quite" stuff be so commonplace? The very fact that these lovers have only limited interaction could be adding to the allure. This feeling of illusory connection between people who don't know or barely know one another is created as a defense against loneliness and the fear of intimacy. By having a love life mostly in one's head, they get the benefit of not having to risk the rejection a real love could lead to, while getting some of their needs for attention satisfied by both their own imagination and the fleeting interactions the circumstances allow. It seems harmless, but the danger is that the more a person relies on fantasies of connection, the less he or she will seek or be able to accept love and affection in a real relationship. In all couplings, it's natural to go through a "fantasy" stage - the time everyone is on their best behavior and being their idealized self. This is enhanced by a euphoric****ail of chemicals the newly in love brain releases, making it impossible to see the source of infatuation as anything but their perfect dream lover (a stage which sadly lasts only a few months, leading many to later head for the nearest exits, mystified) This heady time is Mother Nature's way of getting us together so we'll keep the human race going. The hope is that once everyone's masks come off and the rush of brain opiates calm down, the fantasy will in fact be a reality. If you fear you may be in the throes of a "fantasy" relationship, ask yourself two questions: 1. What do I want? 2. Is what is happening what I want? (Meaning, if you want a partner to spend every night with you and be exclusive, but you only see them once a month because they're married, then yup, you're having a fantasy relationship If the answer to #2 is negative, try to fix the situation. If it's not possible, then recognize what you've been doing - you haven't been ready for a full relationship and needed to experience a partial one. But if you want more, be brave and choose to believe in the abundance of life, and move on. You'll only make yourself more attractive to everyone (including the unavailable lover you just gave up) and increase your chances for having something that can bring you the real relationship you long for at last.

indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

What are the ingredients to a good relationship? Posted: 6/7/2009 12:11:17 PM
What are the ingredients to a good relationship / Marriage? 1. You must first know yourself. 2. Long term relationships / marriages are well balanced, strong and positive. 3. There is a lack of intimidation, manipulation or abuse. They make a person feel safe. 4. A long term relationship / marriage is a natural fit and feels like it is meant to be. 5. A long term relationship / marriage is not difficult to maintain. 6. A long term relationship / marriage is filled with honesty and support. 7. There is a sense of familiarity and mutuality in a good long term relationship / marriage. 8. Long term relationships / marriages are healthy, passionate and harmonious. 9. Good long term relationships / marriages can easily get a lot done by working together. 10. Couples who are in good long term relationships / marriages take joy in watching the growth of one another. 11. In a good long term relationship / marriage each partner will accept who you are, will bring out the best in you, challenges you, and is your best friend. They will not require you to change. 12. Good long term relationships / marriages relish small moments together and cherish their commitment to their relationship / marriage.

indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 690 (view)

THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO DO/Port Charlotte,Punta Gorda and Surrounding Area Posted: 6/5/2009 7:13:51 PM
Thanks for the reply Ron.

indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 1021 (view)

Introduce Yourself Here. Posted: 6/4/2009 11:07:14 PM
Hello from Cape Coral. I've been looking in the forums but never see any POF meet & greets here. Are there ever any POF parties in the Fort Myers / Cape Coral area?

indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 688 (view)

THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO DO/Port Charlotte,Punta Gorda and Surrounding Area Posted: 6/4/2009 10:58:02 PM
Are there any POF parties in the Fort Myers / Cape Coral area? I haven't seen any since I've signed up on here.

indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Can someone give me some advise please? Posted: 6/4/2009 10:46:21 PM
I have many positive uplifting stories written by a few different people and would love to start a thread on the power of positive thinking for everyone to read. These wonderful stories / affirmations have helped me get through some very rough times in the past few years and would very much like to pass them to others to help in their time of need. Is the Creative/Writing forum area where I would post them or is there another forum area ? Can someone direct me? I haven't posted in the forums before. Rose

indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

In need of a over 50 profile review any advise? Posted: 12/12/2008 8:56:33 AM
Thanks to those who replied to my request for a profile review. I've completely changed everything I wrote. Would anyone be willing to tell me what they think about my newly revised profile now? Thanks so much, Indiana Rose

indiana rose

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

In need of a over 50 profile review any advise? Posted: 12/9/2008 9:07:15 PM
Hi, can any of you please give me much needed advise on my profile? I am a very honest woman and I don't want to mis-lead anyone. I've changed the wording, intersts, pics, just everything many times. I have tried writing a short profile, a medium profile. I've listed just a few interests, a min. amount of interests. I've changed my pics more times than I can remember. I would love some help please? At my age of 51 years old, am I just too old for this site or any other dating site? A few people have told me and I have read that men my age don't want to date women my age that they want to date much younger women. I get interests from the young guys my childrens age and the men my Fathers age. I don't want to date someone my Son's age and I don't want to date someone my Father's age either. I want to date someone my own age give or take 4 or 5 years. Any advise I would be forever greatful. Thanks in advance, Indiana Rose

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