You forgive but can you forget? chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: You forgive but can you forget?

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

You forgive but can you forget? Posted: 7/27/2009 11:01:31 PM
You have to forgive him or forever be miserable. He hurt you, correct? Look within yourself and realize you are a better person than he was and you deserve better than what he did to you. It does hurt very much when someone you love hurts you but the longer you dwell on it the longer the hurt will last. You say you are still emotionally attached. Think of whatever hurt it was he caused you and ask yourself if you would want to go through that again with him. As for forgetting him, very few people forget someone(s) who played a part in their life - good or bad. But over time he'll become a fleeting thought in your mind and you might even wonder how he is doing and hope he found whatever he was looking for but didn't find with you. Don't compare him to other men as he is out of your life, he is the one who hurt you. Give a good man a chance to treat you the way you truly deserve to be treated.

cherish luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

does anyone like the webcam games?? Posted: 7/16/2009 11:12:59 AM
I've never entertained the thoughts of webcam 'games' and would never participate in such a game. However, I have a question for those who do play the webcam game to think about - is there is any way one can take pics of you while playing the webcam game with them? People who enjoy webcam games that is their right; but if pics can be taken how would one feel finding their pics spreading around the internet?

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 108 (view)

How rare are really good Lovers? Posted: 7/15/2009 10:45:29 PM
Congratulations, Loveroflife69 - you just described a Perfect Lover.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

Boyfriend continues to get on POF behind my back?? Posted: 7/8/2009 10:24:07 AM
You are correct, she is being played big time! He blocks her so she can't see him on line? She may well want to check numerous other dating sites to see how many others he is signed up on. Happened to me in a relationship years ago and he, who professed great love for me, was quite active on 5 other sites. I would ask him if he was looking he would deny. I did something that really wasn't nice to do but I had to know whether to walk away or not. I made up a phony profile on 3 of those 5 sites and he hit on me within 24 hours on 3 of the sites. I knew it was time to walk away after a two year relationship. If a man or a woman are in a relationship and your instincts tell you something is not right or you see red flags - don't ignore them, as 9 times out of 10 your instincts are correct. Anyone can say "I love you" - pay heed to what their actions tell you.

cherish luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

When love turns to hate.. Posted: 6/22/2009 6:03:53 PM
Never hate a person only loathe their action(s). When you hate someone it is a poison inside you and you are only hurting yourself.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 84 (view)

My fiance leaves my High and dry. Posted: 6/18/2009 9:53:23 PM
My opinion is he is selfish, cares only for his own needs and the hell with yours. A true considerate man/lover will always bring the woman first, if for no other reason in case he cums too fast. Frankly, he should be spending time in foreplay and bringing you several times.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Foreplay...? Posted: 6/18/2009 9:46:15 PM
What is sex without foreplay? Long slow foreplay between the man and the woman building up the passions and wants is what it is all about. Two lovers who take their time in foreplay building up the passions the sex act itself is anticlimatic!

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Quantity or Quality? Posted: 6/17/2009 8:08:52 PM
That is a no brainer - QUALITY!

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

Ladies, your honest to goodness answer would be nice Posted: 6/17/2009 7:49:14 PM
It is not the size of the man. It is the man who knows how to make you feel like the most desired woman in the world, leaves your breathless and feeling like you were the best well loved woman in the world.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

End of a Journey Posted: 6/11/2009 11:12:55 AM
Sirenbliss, he sounds like one of those few 'gems' left who is honest and will not use a woman just for physical pleasure but loves her dearly as a good friend. Quite a compliment to you if you stop and think about it.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 59 (view)

Those on again off again relationships? Posted: 6/9/2009 11:43:15 AM
There are times, however, that one finds the one they truly love and try to overlook the problems that arise in the relationship. The problems become untenable, they break up for awhile thinking that old 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' and then back together, brief 'honeymoon' with both at their best, and then the problems start up again. That on again and off again can go on for years. What often happens in the apart time one forgets the 'bad times' and starts thinking about the good times they had and back they go again. When the pain far exceeds the happiness that love brings or brought is when one will walk away permanently.

cherish luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

Casual blowjobs Posted: 5/30/2009 11:05:59 AM
Women willing to give 'casual blowjobs' when asked? Doesn't one ask themselves where that ock may have been before you took it in your mouth? For a man to ask a woman truly not known to him for a blowjob is the ultimate insult to a woman, imo. Is that all a man thinks you are worth - a quick BJ? If a woman enjoys giving BJ's - that is her preference BUT wouldn't it be better and safer to give a casual BJ to a known friend? At least with a known friend you may know where the ock has been before you take it in your mouth and not get a mouthful of possible VD. For a man to ask a woman for a casual BJ and not willing to reciprocate with oral sex or sex is the epitome of a selfish self-centered SOB who has no respect for women.

cherish luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 64 (view)

should you tell someone when they are too negative or just not talk or ignore them? Posted: 5/26/2009 10:22:06 AM
I went with someone for two years and 99% of the time nothing came out of their mouth but negativity. No matter what the subject always negative comments and soon it started affecting me and my thoughts and once being a very positive person I found myself becoming negative. We broke up and it was like a weight off my shoulders not to listen to negativity 24/7. I went back to how I was a very positive person - no matter what life threw my way - surrounded myself once again with positive friends, old and new ones. Negativity draws negative and positive draws positive into your life. Get out of the relationship(s) while you can as you may not recognize the subtleness of negativity taking a hold of you and changing your thoughts and outlooks in life.

cherish luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

LDR Advice good bad and ugly.. Posted: 5/22/2009 10:12:53 AM
What constitutes a LDR? How many miles? How many states away? East Coast - West Coast? I met a man years ago who lived 120 miles from me - direct highway driving. All he did was complain about the gas and tolls it took to drive 120 miles to see me. Ended up in 2 1/2 years of going together he came here 5 times, rest of the time I had to travel to see him. I have a friend who lives 110 miles from me who drives up several times a week to take me to lunch, dinner or brunch without blinking an eye at a 220 mile round trip several times a week.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Internet cheating Posted: 4/26/2009 9:29:26 AM
He is 'hedging his bets' on whether you'll make it or not as a couple and looking for others to have on standby. You want the truth when someone tells you they love you? Don't listen to their words watch their actions! Actions speak louder than words!

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

cheating??? males perspective.. Posted: 4/11/2009 10:35:56 PM
You were looking for trouble when going into his email behind his back and you found it. Now why are you making excuses for him being angry and not speaking to you? Yes, men (and women, I might add) need their alone time but ...should that 'alone' time be spent surfing the sites on the net looking for a companion to spend their alone time with when they already have a significant other? You say you know girls who like to throw themselves at men? Well, it takes two to tango...they can throw all they want and not get a man's attention but if a man takes time to talk with them and exchange emails with them they have his attention and to get his attention he must have been looking!

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Hurt but still in love Posted: 3/3/2009 10:14:57 PM
Very simply he is a 'taker', you are a 'giver.' He'll keep taking and taking as long as you are giving. He doesn't do anything for you on special occasions and has never taken you out on a date? What are you doing with such a selfish, self-centered man in your life? Open your eyes wide - he is using you!

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 1350 (view)

Cheating- can you forgive? Posted: 3/3/2009 10:03:33 PM
If you are in a relationship wherein both proclaim love for each other and one is cheating then run from the relationship. Can you forgive someone cheating on you? You have to forget before you can forgive. Who forgets they've been cheated on! If they proclaim love for you and can cheat on you then you can bank on them cheating again.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Is love hard work? Posted: 2/25/2009 2:06:52 PM
If two people truly love each other then love is not 'hard work'. The only time I can visualize love being 'hard work' is when the love is not equally given between the couple and one of them tries 'very hard' to get the other to love them as much as they love that person.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 189 (view)

What words would you LEAST like to hear after sex? Posted: 12/8/2008 5:15:42 AM
When falling asleep hold you tenderly in their arms and say good-night calling you someone else's name.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Is this just asking for trouble? Posted: 12/7/2008 9:42:48 PM
Go for it, Cuddlebug42! How can you call it the rebound - isn't it he who you started off with first? Now you two have developed a true deep friendship and why not discuss the possibility it may not work out for a life-time together but enjoy each other and see where it leads - this time! There is an old saying "you can't change the ending but you start a new begining". Many years ago I had a very good friend, we ended up having a relationship, after awhile in the physical relationship we agreed it wasn't going to work for various reasons, and today, 20 years later, we are still the best of friends and keep in contact weekly. I'm one of those believers that being friends first is very important and then it can possibly develop into a physical relationship with the love of two friends possibly turning into a life-time love.

cherish luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 217 (view)

Ladies, If A Guy Called You The C Word, Would Continue Your Relationship With Him? Posted: 12/6/2008 10:20:12 PM
cdn-iceman - Having worked with the people in the UK for many years I'm sad to say not only do the men over there use that word in a degrading way about women but so do women use that word when speaking of women they don't like! Quite disgusting! For a man to use that word to call a woman is one time I do have to say he deserves a slap across the face. I wouldn't even entertain the thought of accepting an apology from such a person using that word to me or around me..

cherish luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 930 (view)

Can you cheat on a person you are truly in love with? Posted: 12/6/2008 10:07:53 PM
I agree totally, Scott. There is absolutely no justification that can be made to cheat on someone you love. Frankly, if you are in love with someone truly then the thought should not cross one's mind to cheat nor should one entertain the attentions from another.

cherish luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Should I dump him? Posted: 12/6/2008 10:00:01 PM
Frankly, may I suggest you look at many other sites to see if he is also listed on there and active - be prepared for the fact he may well be. Having gone through your exact situation in a long-term relationship that lasted over 2 years and the total time he was on at least 5 other sites quite active and looking. You ask him he'll deny, trust me on that, so have your ducks in a row before you tell him what you know and walk out the door. Do not look back, do not listen to excuses, just keep on walking once you find the facts to base your suspicions on, if any. As an aside, as you say you two are talking marriage, you NEED to find out why his profile is still active and FILLED with lies. He has a profile on line that is filled with lies, you think he is going to tell you the truth and the others he is possibly finding or searching for?

cherish luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 93 (view)

How many is too many? Posted: 12/6/2008 10:09:26 AM
I, as you, have always considered sex as special and 'making love' is not something one does indiscriminately with anyone was my outlook. However, some people chose to enjoy sex with many others and that is their choice and no one's place to condemn or question them. However, I do think if a person has had a multitude of sex partners it is their responsibility to practice safe sex to protect each partner they sleep with. It isn't the past that counts it is the present and how they conduct their personal life when they enter into a long-term relationship that truly counts. That past is the past!

cherish luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 181 (view)

If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor? Posted: 12/6/2008 9:46:38 AM
What you say is very true! A truly caring partner can bring the best out in their partner. It is all about sharing pleasures and giving pleasures to each other with no strings attached to each act Nothing can turn a woman off faster than those men who 'expect' a woman to make them cum orally and make it known you don't bring me I won't bring you. Once it becomes a 'have to' it soon becomes a chore and resented and an empty act with no feelings.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 103 (view)

Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men? Posted: 11/20/2008 9:43:57 AM
I don't understand why she even told you unless she feared you might know one of the 3 involved and would hear about it somehow. I rather like my friend's attitude: "you have a past and I have a past but we are the Present. The past is the past and we have no needs to discuss it."

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

Taking a break and do I owe an apology? Posted: 11/20/2008 9:23:08 AM
Mindy, I can all most guarantee you he was not testing your love for him during his 3 week and 7 week disapperances. He was out more likely than not, Mindy, checking out and dating others out there and got bored and came back. Went through that for 2 1/2 years, Mindy, don't waste your years as I wasted mine. He is playing you, Mindy, trying to put you a guilt trip for not calling him or your now wanting to date to keep you from asking yourself and confronting him for answers just what was he up to for those 'missing' weeks with no contact. The old guilt trip many men and women know how to play to keep the other from 'thinking too hard' just what was going on ...

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

Is revenge sex really a good option. Posted: 11/16/2008 3:15:10 PM
If cheating is not in her nature then she'll have a hard time facing herself in the morning. Why stoop to his level either forgive him one indescretion or move on.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

girls, what do you do when you are left hanging? Posted: 11/16/2008 9:17:02 AM
A true considerate partner always brings the woman first.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 141 (view)

What made you end your relationship? Posted: 11/16/2008 9:04:51 AM
Know the feeling. I broke it up after 2 1/2 years of stress with always wondering when he'd find my replacement on the 6 sites he was on always searching while proclaiming great love for me. It is so true actions speak louder than words.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 790 (view)

Is oral sex cheating? Posted: 11/15/2008 8:24:31 AM
Of course it is cheating on your partner. Granted men who can't keep it in their pants or women who can't keep their legs together will justify it or rationalize it anyway they want to convince themselves it isn't cheating. Do oral sex cheating people forget they can take home VD from oral sex?

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 613 (view)

What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship? Posted: 11/14/2008 4:27:27 PM
I hung in for 2 1/2 years trying to change him. I ignored all the red flags, knew he lied, knew he cheated but yet I tried to change him.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

From friends to a relationship Posted: 11/14/2008 4:15:20 PM
The best relationship and Lover I ever had was with a friend I had known for over 4 years and we just decided one day hey...why not. We had loved each other as best friends do over the years, we respected each other and it was wonderful. We didn't have to play the courting games or feed each other lines and we decided we'd just live for the 'moments' we'd had together.

Cherish Luv

Joined: 11/9/2008

Msg: 186 (view)

How to forget someone? How to let go? Posted: 11/14/2008 12:25:39 PM
I think, Kittenhere, it all depends on how the 'ending' came about. If one or the other devastated the other by their actions and it ended with great hurt or betrayal it would be quite difficult to remain friends. It takes time to get over the devastation of betrayal even though the love remains. What one has to do it learn from that, don't loathe the other person nor blame yourself, but just move on. If you talk with them the hurt will stay and the 'if onlys', 'what ifs' will stay in your mind and you won't let go of the hurt nor the love. Just keep in mind for every door that closes a better one will open.

Show ALL Forums