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VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

why do people feel like they need someone in their life Posted: 11/19/2009 11:57:16 AM
I was wondering the same thing few days ago(and it got deleted, thanks, trigger-happy-bunch, btw) after a discussion with my boyfriend. He was upset when I said I don't need him, but very much want him in my life, and that had I dropped dead tomorrow, he would really have no problem going on with his life. So it is not "need" but rather a "want" to be with that particular person who makes you feel even better than when you're with yourself. I think that needing someone indicates "anyone will do" attitude. And being self-sufficient and happy on your own means that if someone sways you into a relationship, you're with that person because you really, really like this particular person. Thoughts?

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

is this normal Posted: 11/14/2009 7:43:19 AM
Were I to have had a dinner at my ex's house, I'd test it for poison first. But that's just me. And my relationship with my ex (babydaddy as well) is done through and through. Conversations are limited to text messaging "your son's next game is at xyz on date/time" or calls "you're late with child support again", which I still prefer to call his secretary than him. Joining ex for dinner is on special occasions for the child, graduations and such. Coming over? Not unless my bf can come, too.

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

girl i`m seeing Posted: 11/14/2009 7:30:19 AM
Sweetie, the girl doesn't know you are seeing her. Meet her every other day, so her friends see the two of you so often that they start calling you her bf. As it is, you've met 4 times. She sees her classmates more often than she sees you. You're not dating. Ask her what is she doing tonight and whether you can join her. Then join her. Repeat every other day. Report to us in a month. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 59 (view)

independent women Posted: 11/14/2009 7:04:28 AM
Nine West? You mean stylish, reliable, sturdy, comfortable, always there for you, supportive, etc? ;-) I think I've found a pair, and I know there are more around..

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 73 (view)

roomie.... Posted: 11/14/2009 6:58:59 AM
You can always bring it up to Jerry Springer show. They'll sort it out for ya Seriously tho, if you like him, ask him to move out of there asap. Then test him thoroughly and date him for as long as it suits you both. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

bi - sexual Posted: 11/14/2009 6:52:42 AM
Being an equal opportunity employer doesn't mean you are going to hire a representative of each gender/race/sexual orientation for ONE job, now does it.. Do you see now how silly assumption that a bisexual person would cheat, need some strange on the side when already having a commited relationship is? You fall for a person. You are with that one person. And bisexuality means simply that you can equally easily fall for a man OR a woman. See the "or"? Sleeping with more than one person makes you a skank, not a bisex. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

independent women Posted: 11/14/2009 6:43:47 AM
Independent women fall harder, because the one they choose to fall for is super extra special to them. Think of socks, or shoes. You've just run out of clean socks, the only thing available is that icky corner store pair of socks that you NEED or you'll end up with a blister. So you get them. Do you love them? No. But for now they'll do. That's a woman dependent on a man. She needs him, so she picks what's available. Now think of not looking for anything, but suddenly coming across the most luxurious buttery leather pair of stunning Jimmy Choos stilletto booties that are actually comfortable. Do you need them? Of course not. But you really, really WANT them. And that's an independent woman's world. I'm not with my bf because I need him for anything. I've got my life, friends, job, family.. Don't NEED him at all. I'm all right. But I really, really WANT him to be with me. I miss seeing him if more than a couple of days pass, and so does he. His messages throughout the day brighten my face, I can't keep my hands off of him when we're together, I look forward to the evening when we meet even if for just a brief coffee moment. Crap, I might be falling..

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

contact Posted: 11/8/2009 3:16:30 AM
Contact her when you feel like it, then let her contact you. If you don't hear back, try to let at least 24 hours lapse before next contact. Other than that, DO NOT play games. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

should I let it go? Posted: 11/8/2009 3:02:02 AM
Change The Lock :-) and best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

WSRFR Asked a good question, Can men and women be friends 'after' having sex? Posted: 11/3/2009 5:08:12 AM
To simplify the answer: you can be friends and genuinely feel positive towards your someone you wanted to sleep with, but never towards someone you have wanted to be with. Hearing your former fukbuddy comment on your current dating relationship in a constructive way is actually supremely helpful. As long as the arrangement was sex and friendship, not sex and hope for more, the friendship will not be affected when you stop bumping bones. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

life Posted: 11/2/2009 3:27:47 AM
I think that a job is a job and one can easily lose his/her means, better indicator of compatibility is what they do on their weekends, with their friends, hobbies .. Choosing a mate based solely on what they do for living and what it brings them is not the best indicator of how well the two people will get along, nor does it guarantee any "quality of life". I have dated throughout the spectrum, those well off and those definitely nowhere near comfortable living. It doesn't matter. What matters is if that person can make me smile on a bad day, how he handles himself around people, and if he can afford himself to spend time with me or is his priority his job/friends/sports/whatever. Is he relatively reasonable when upset, would he raise his hand at a woman, does he open doors for me even a month after we've met, does he want to be around me when something good or bad happens in his day, is he nice to the waitress? Those types of things are important to me. Dating means you're getting to know the person, so yes, you need to go out and see how this person reacts with others, what's on their mind, what's making them want to get up in the morning, and yes, in the beginning this usually means spending that time and money going out more than staying in. But the going out part can involve a cute little coffee shop on the corner and talking over yummy dessert, not necessarily an evening out on the town. It is what you make of it. Focus on a person rather than packaging and you're more likely to find a suitable one for you. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

events Posted: 11/1/2009 3:21:24 PM
A man without initiative is tiring. Yes, anyone wants to do the quiet evening sometimes, Gods know after last night I am blowing off all the fun stuff that's going on tonight, but for the most part going out between other people makes you feel special. As in "some effort was put into this - he must like me - let me stick around and find out" My boyfriend and I usually stay to ourselves. Even when we go to some event I know of, we end up circling around each other anyway. Drinks, dinner, party, gallery, event ..those are just excuses to spend time together, talk, interact, see what your sweetie is like with other people. It's a part of getting to know each other. If you want to stay home, by all means, stay home. Just don't expect your pizza delivery person to be your dream girl. You have to work your way up to staying home and cooking together. It is not a first few dates idea.

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Smoker Posted: 10/18/2009 7:56:12 AM
Candid, love your posts. :-) SCD, you're exactly right. You can't think for and decide for poeple. Even if it would be for their own good. My father died of smoking related cancer at age of 44, I really don't like smoke around me. I wish I could say "can't you just stop smoking like I did?" and that the answer would be "ok" he'd stop, and all would be well in candyland. Alas, it ain't so. So sorry, SCD, even a great person sometimes has a no-no we can't just look past. It is quite sad really, especially when you beginning to like the person. :-( Again, I sincerely with you best of luck with this. And luck to me, too, in figuring this one out. :-)

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not. Posted: 10/18/2009 7:25:29 AM
SCD, I'm in the same situation as you and I am also very much on the fence about continuing. We haven't met online, he didn't lie, he didn't smell like smoke either. Still, he smokes, sometimes when in the car with him, and as we spend more time together, I spend more time in smoke and dislike it. I am of the opinion, that you can't change people, only your own expectations. So I'm not going to talk my date out of smoking, but rather try to figure out if I can look past his smelly habit. I think you would do well to evaluate the same for yourself. :-) Best of luck!!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Full disclosure or learn as you go? Posted: 10/17/2009 8:00:49 AM
By all means, definitely onion way!! :-) I think I blew a date last night by answering a question with perfect honesty. I'd rather not be asked some things, but at that point when question arises, if the truth isn't to your date's liking, then you are probably not a good match. And who asks questions they're not happy to hear an answer to? Oh, well. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

four-letters Posted: 10/17/2009 7:03:52 AM
If you're unwilling to work through a rough patch, it wasn't love.. FYI: a "rough patch" does not constitute cheating, lying, assasination attempt. Those are grounds for termination. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

The Stand-By Posted: 10/17/2009 6:00:22 AM
He could have chosen to lie instead of letting you know where he stands. Honesty is a rarity these days. Appreciate it when you find it. If things don't go well with the lady he's seeing, you could decide to meet him knowing you won't be one of many he's chatting up. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

expensive Posted: 10/17/2009 5:43:00 AM
Dating is about the two people doing something together and getting to know the other during the process. You date people not for a free ride, but to figure out if you want to spend your time in their company for a longer period of time. Possibly lifetime. It is about making your special someone feel special. It isn't about money, although it can become so. When you're dating someone who won't take you out, but wears only high couture, blows money on his friends and then you find out that he takes out other girls, there really isn't much reason to stay around. Again, not because of the attitude towards the tangible, but because you're clearly not that important in his world. I knew someone like that. Similarily, man whose only asset is his black amex, isn't exactly best companion. After all, I'm not a Barbie and don't appreciate being shown off as a trophy in the same top ten white-hot venues and around the must-attend events. Then again, it works for sugar babies, so I'm not going to judge this type of dating even tho it doesn't work for me. Dating is about getting to know your future mate and hoping he will get to know you, all of you, and still care for you. Not about impressing her or him. It isn't an interview. It is fun staying in and playing a game of twister, playing pool, throwing darts, cooking together, talking, getting closer, wanting to make him happy, meeting friends and seeing how your date interacts with others, taking clothes off eventually, trying to figure out whether it is love or infatuation, whether it will last, trying to determine how to make things work when you discover little bumps in the road, trying not to fall too fast before knowing that person you're giving your heart to, building up hopes and expectations that he won't run off with a floozy, that she won't sleep with your friend ... Dating doesn't have to be a fancy thing. But it does have to have the air of "I am happy doing those things with you and for you", not resentment of "I had to pay for your burger" When I choose to date someone I do so because they intrigue me and I want to know more. And so, during the date I feel that I'd rather be with right here with this man than anywhere else doing anything else. I certainly hope it is a mutual feeling. That's when hanging out watching starry sky becomes way more important than attending some posh event. You want to blow off a bachelor's party just so you get to watch her nose crinkle at your silly jokes that evening. And it doesn't feel like a sacrifice but rather a priviledge.

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

is it compromise? right choice? sensibility? settling? Posted: 10/16/2009 5:36:30 AM
No one I date is from "online". Ok, the "incompatibilities" are subtle. Like, one guy is 20 years my senior, and I only found out because he showed me his driver's licence - he definitely doesn't look it, I don't have daddy issues, but it bothers me, because he wants a family and I'm just not up for raising kids alone when he croaks. Sorry, I'm upset, so my language becomes abrasive. Another guy is one inch(!!!) shorter than me and constantly mentions it. Constantly. His friends, too. Like, "oh, he scored himself a supermodel to climb". It is annoying. Honestly, I haven't noticed until he mentioned it. His personality shines. Can't explain it. I am ready to drop this one for his insecurity tho. Other guy is "all that" but I just don't see him as interesting. He's so much into himself.. Ugh.. Dates are a his long self-praise sessions in his theatre and I'm the audience. Other guys smokes and I'm allergic (sinus infections proved it), but he doesn't smoke much. Did step out for one or two during the dates. I really don't have a list of requirements, no type either. And no one says anything about exclusivity, so not as if I am forced to choose. So I don't know if it's better to keep going out, meeting new people.. I do want a relationship, just one that works for both involved.. Hope this makes sense..

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

compatability Posted: 10/16/2009 5:11:32 AM
I used to be outraged by such statements, then I've spent great deal of time with a man, taking things to next level. Well, bed sucked. Not in a good way, not in a fixable way, not within the norm. I am not so judgemental towards OP. This is a Catch 22. You don't know until you know. Try going out dancing. Nothing like a dancing evening to see what turns him on and how - lol If he's eyeing trannies, watch out is all I can say! But even when you wait a while, guy is great, things are awesome in bed and outside of it, you're still doomed. Suddenly neither one of you wants to leave the house. All subsequent dates become make-out sessions at movies or restaurant (or museum, in a park, etc.) followed by sex. Before you know it, there is no relationship left, just fuk buddies. Oh, well. All we can do is enjoy. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

is it compromise? right choice? sensibility? settling? Posted: 10/15/2009 8:24:01 PM
Hmm.. Ok, I'll try to elaborate. :-) I'm dating (not exclusively) and I find myself interested in getting to know those people. All have something going for them, all are attractive TO ME, all are super cool to hang out with. I'm just not sure if I'm being too picky about their "faults". The guy I was seriously seeing dropped off the face of the Earth, so -hah- I'm dating other people instead of moping around. But.... I keep finding these "but"'s ... So.. Do I chalk it up to my own idiocy and get over my stupid self, or do I acknowledge that none are what I want and move on? I am sure there are some experiences out there as we, fishies, are a lively community.. :-) What was your experience? Did you get to like your honey's quirks or did they drive you mad and to the nearest exit? Thanks!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Full disclosure or learn as you go? Posted: 10/15/2009 8:05:36 PM
Hmm.. I'd say do what works for you. I answer truthfuly when asked, but prefer to let things come up in a course of conversation as we spend time together. But I'm more into the ethereal, like how we get along and whether we make each other comfortable in our company, not the tangible goods. :-) Best of luck!!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

is it compromise? right choice? sensibility? settling? Posted: 10/15/2009 7:38:20 PM
I am sure most people have been in the situation where you've met someone, like that someone, enjoy the company, but... (Insert something until now thought of as a dealbreaker here) So, what did you do? I am asking, because I'm wondering if I should go on with a fairly new date, or distance myself based on a little bit of an incompatibility... So, what is your experience? And did the relationship survive or are you feeling little cheated once the new and shiny wore off?

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Did you settle? Posted: 10/15/2009 7:03:20 PM
Hmmm... I think I kind of did. :-) Doesn't feel like it tho.

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 46 (view)

What kind of guy do you want to marry? Posted: 10/12/2009 7:36:54 PM
The kind that keeps me happy. Meaning good in bed, faithful, honest, in love with me. That's all. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

KIDS ????? Posted: 10/12/2009 4:59:48 PM
Oy.. It's a worldwide epidemic nowadays. I've met yet another guy in the 46-55 age bracket (older than me dad) who "wishes to start a family" ..well, really? So WTF were you doing with your wrinkly self about 10-20 years ago?? Oh, well. I am not willing to be a single mum when his old ass decides to drop dead.

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Should I Posted: 10/12/2009 4:19:48 PM
Wow. He must be a bloody rocket in the sack.. That's an only explanation for hanging on to such a tool. Ok. Assuming you don't want to get yourself a blow-up boyfriend and that your current one does have amazing fuk powers, keep him in the sack, don't talk to him outside the bedroom. No more criticising, no more problems. There. Solved. :-) Best of luck!

vaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

good guys Posted: 10/12/2009 5:55:38 AM
Men who have manners, morals, backbone, who don't cheat, who are sweet, and honest, and sincere? They're called good men. And they're not necessarily "nice" to everyone and everything. :-)

vaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

27 yo girl Posted: 10/12/2009 5:12:33 AM
In these 4.5 months you have been spending time together at least 2 or 3 nights a week and at least one weekend evening? See, I have "dated" a guy who would see me only every other week or so, claiming to be busy. Of course he wasn't getting any, because I just didn't know him all that well even after few months, I didn't know whether he's seeing other women, I dint know his friends or who the heck is he (asides from his words on it). Even if it is few months, is it quality time or are you having "filler" dates to get where you want to be? What's this "giving it up" thing? It's not a produce, you don't use it up. You're both supposed to enjoy sex, not for her to "give up" something just to keep you happy. Sex is enjoyable, or at least should be, and at 27 she probably is aware of sex being fun pastime, not a damned chore! In any case, I doubt you two are compatible. Your views on sexually acceptable behavior vastly differ, your sex drives obviously aren't in sync, this won't be good even if you stay together and start bumping uglies. Were I in your shoes, I'd make sure she knows she's special to me, that I value her, like her company, respect her opinions on worldly matters and if after getting to know one another on a mental level she still isn't comfortable? I'd end it.

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

keeping slim for the Autum/Winter - figure friendly recipies - weight loss foods - thin cooking Posted: 10/10/2009 6:42:02 AM
SS, your recipes sound always delicious!! :-) Thank you. PS. I don't drink any sodas, rarely use sugar, don't drink juices (fresh fruit tastes better), cook my own foods 6 days a week with fresh ingredients, add flavor with herbs not msg, don't even drink coffee. I'm not fat (5'9" and 130 lbs) - I just want to keep trim through the holidays, no diets, no lifestyle changes. Just some recipes that are yummy, flavorful, satisfying and not horribly fattening please. :-) Thanks again, Salmon and others!!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

teen Posted: 10/4/2009 4:18:04 AM
Based on my experience, I agree with m_church, ": I'm going to go against this...In the past, my experiences have been highly manuipulative girls causing "drama" trying to break me and their mom up... and the boys have been pretty much laid back not caring one way or the other... " My teenage son understand that every loving relationship includes time together and time apart. Parenthood ain't an exception here. He is aware, that while I love being his mom, I also need company my own age, which is why he actually WANTS me to go out and be happy. He's respectful of me and I respect him. And, darn, why wouldn't he? I raised him this way.

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 172 (view)

pits Posted: 10/3/2009 12:33:27 PM
Laser it off. Super convenient, immensly worth it and soooo affordable! I'm ever so glad I don't need to shave/wax during the summer, or now, when I'm chained to iv tubes in a hospital. Next project: laser off v-jay-jay and full legs!!! :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

honestly, hun Posted: 10/3/2009 11:45:01 AM
When a "playa" wants to hook up with a skank, he goes and hooks up with a skank, ends up contracting communicable disease and promptly learns it is better with the good girls. Throuble is they're good girls and behave as such. So to score he has to either turn into a good guy or pretend to be one. And changing yourself is an arduous process... Now you know. Accept it. Learn from it. Take it upon yourself to test potential suitors better. :-) Best of luck.

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

confused Posted: 10/3/2009 11:33:46 AM
Compromise. He can get engaged to you, get you a big-as* ring, you can take a leave of absence from work and move in for a trial. In case things don't work out - you sell the big ass ring to cover your costs and all is fair. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

not to Posted: 10/3/2009 4:08:16 AM
Yes. You're young and should go out and enjoy your life whether it's single or coupled with a terrific partner. If you're into dating tons of guys - great! Have fun with various dates, no need to start a family anytime soon. Or even ever if it doesn't suit you. If you want a relationship tho, please keep one thing in mind. When you date someone you really like, don't ruin it by thinking there is something better around the bend and refusing to be exclusive, because you have not met others yet. I'm not saying you should settle for first pair of pants with potential, but keep open mind that someone you already have met can be the one for you. ---> Greener grass on the other side often turns out to be just spray painted artificial astro-turf. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Staying Posted: 10/2/2009 4:07:39 AM
I don't think anyone here, anyone who has chosen to leave an unsatisfying relationship behind, will agree that it is better to stay. You might want to check with those people who hate their spouse, but stay anyway. Not on a singles (dating) site .. We have all left eventually to pursue something better - alone or with hopes for becoming a couple. :-) Best of luck

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

boyfriend Posted: 10/1/2009 5:09:51 PM
Well. Are you open to sharing your man intimately with another person? Participate in these experiences maybe? If you are, no problem. If you aren't, ask him if likes an occassional cucumber in his salad. Hopefully you know him well enough to spot a knee-jerk response. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Casual Posted: 10/1/2009 5:00:51 PM
It depends on your personality Can work to your advantage if you are dating few people by taking the edge off of you, giving you that glow, extra oomph in the way you walk ... Can work to your demise if you have strong moral fibre by making you miserable and anxious ... If you feel it isn't your cup of tea, don't settle. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

dating Posted: 9/30/2009 10:43:17 AM
Hey there, First things first. AS A WOMAN, THANK YOU FOR PROTECTING MY RIGHTS WHICH UNDER TALIBAN WOULDN'T SURVIVE. AS AN AMERICAN, THANK YOU FOR PROTECTING MY FREEDOM AND THE COUNTRY WE LIVE IN. Now onto dating: do use the GI bill to get into college. It will open up your future, give you choices and means to "spoil that lady" you choose later on. Maybe you will even meet that lady in college. I know you want to be with someone, because life is fleeting and God knows you've seen a proof for this. But hold on for now. Slow down and take care of you and making a foundation for a relationship you wish for. Otherwise your fairytale just won't last. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Another kissing question... Posted: 9/30/2009 10:30:34 AM
Tender peck on a cheek will show her you like her, yet not be too forward. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

children Posted: 9/29/2009 5:47:20 AM
It doesn't work with certain people, it works beautifully with others. I would go with you as a friend, not a date, but then again, I am a parent myself. Your daughter doesn't need to know every Jane and Mary you spend an evening with. Probably better you've found out immediately than if she'd lead you on pretending everything's peachy until you marry and then forbid you contact with the child. - - - > Now, don't shake your head. I know someone like that. It is not just dates. I'm sure your friends are those who like to join you for family bbq and those who would rather starve than be near a kid. I'm blessed with friends who sometimes feel like including my son into their lives. Childless friends, who care about me enough to enjoy the extension of me. I also have (even female) friends, who couldn't care less about spending time with me and my kid because it isn't what they're interested in. Good you've found out so quickly how self-absorbed she is. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

It can't hurt, right? Posted: 9/29/2009 5:25:13 AM
I don't see why not. I'm also not searching for a date off here, no reason to limit talking to only opposite sex within a reasonable dating distance. I think it ties into the thread about geographically comfortable dating proximity. (Mine is within one hour door-to-door.) :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

What do we do Posted: 9/28/2009 5:09:30 PM
You're looking for validation that you've done right? What can I say. You have done right. As per the standard expectation of a human norm. You've agreed to a coffee date, stayed the course as you should, stated your opinion in the end. He's just frustrated that he doesn't get your cookie with his coffee. Oh, well. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

he has a gf! drama Posted: 9/28/2009 4:58:32 PM
Yuppers. Forward her the transcript of your convo. Let her figure it out. Then grab some popcorn and enjoy the show. Think of it from your perspective. If it was my circus, I'd like to know what my monkey is up to. Wouldn't you? :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

too fast Posted: 9/28/2009 4:54:46 PM
Sunshine, there is no speed patrol, no speeding tickets, no speed bumps. Enjoy! Does it work for the two of you? If so, it is the right speed. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

disappointing thread Posted: 9/28/2009 4:49:33 PM
And here is my hoping to step into another whiny blob of existential vomit on the subject of hookers (aka gold diggers) .. sigh Ok. I'll bite. When I hit 40, I'll be well done raising offspring, established in my career, enjoying midlife crisis with some hot yet dumb dude, so you bet you bippy there would be no room for drama or somesuch nonsense in my convertible. :-) Best of luck tho!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

what do you make of this?? confusing or what? Posted: 9/28/2009 4:41:26 PM
He probably lost his nerve. Have you ever been fantasising about a steamy date with your rockstar crush only to think "ok, that was anticlimactic" when you do? Happens. Built up fantasy that was never meant to live up to real life :-) Best of luck tho!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

seeing the person you've just started dating on a date with someone else Posted: 9/28/2009 4:35:09 PM
Daym! Have you no more than one Starbucks in your area?! See, this is why I don't take anyone to my hangout spots unless it is bit more serious No worries, you've both have arrived with a date, so no awkward moments. :-) Best of luck!

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Am I a cougar? Posted: 9/28/2009 4:31:42 PM
Sure you are, darling Enjoy! PS. Cougars and Dingos go exclusively for people younger than them. Would you date a guy 10 years older just as easily as 10 years younger? If so, you aren't a cougar. Same goes for Dingos.

VaniLilly

Joined: 11/12/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

it Posted: 9/27/2009 2:24:47 PM
" LOVE: Does it exist? " Sure it does. Ever seen a dog with a slab of steak? Pure love!

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