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 Author Thread: Find -> Flirt -> Meet -> Friends -> Anything possible?
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Find -> Flirt -> Meet -> Friends -> Anything possible?
Posted: 4/22/2013 6:52:59 PM
The friend zone grows tiresome really quick. I like the post that suggested that you make her jealous. Or go one further, ask her to fix you up with one of her friends.

Do you really need another friend? You play rugby and footy, I know for a fact that there is a built in social group there. You don't need friends, you need a girl to date. Time wasted on her that could be spent finding someone who is interested in you.

Just remember, be charming to ALL women, whether you are interested or not. Sometimes it takes another girl making a comment about you to get the other interested.
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Is her flirting with me? I'm lost.
Posted: 4/22/2013 6:44:56 PM
I hope you are flirting back.

I had the same question when I became single again, so I googled it. Found some great advice.
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/22/2013 6:41:03 PM
The speculation is the same as always. Is this really who the profile says? Is it your ex-girlfriend? Is she texting with 5 guys at a time? Crap shoot, you never know.

Already it is a bit of a red flag, and you have to ask yourself if it is worth continuing with someone you are bored with after one chat.
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
You know you're a parent when..........
Posted: 4/22/2013 6:15:01 PM
You know you are a parent of a teenager when.....

You finally get an ipod...... when your son tires of his.
You check the history on the computer but it has already been deleted.
You can tell when your son is interested in a girl, because he gets up to shower in the morning.
You are no longer able to buy them clothes at Walmart.
You buy them nice gear like skis and outdoor wear because right now you and him are the same size, and he will outgrow it in 3 months leaving it for you.
The internet going out is a family crisis.
Paying $5 for a chore around the house just doesn't cut it anymore.
You don't stock the liquor cabinet until the day before company arrives.
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Once a 'Love Triangle,' but now she's available! Insight wanted.
Posted: 4/21/2013 4:02:37 PM
If she is attractive, then she probably received 100 messages in her first couple of days. She may have already selected a potential date.

You better get in there ASAP. You don't have to profess love in your contact message. You are at an advantage over the other guys, don't lose it by being slow.
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 287 (view)
 
bad pickuplines
Posted: 4/21/2013 2:05:57 AM
I admit my dyck is only 4 inches......... but that's wide enough for any girl.

The guys enjoyed that line anyway.
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 78 (view)
 
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 4/21/2013 1:58:15 AM
i didn't read all the posts so I don't know if I am repeating advice.

Cialis works.

Quit smoking weed, It softens your boners.
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Boyfriend moved in...
Posted: 4/21/2013 1:40:14 AM
If I were in your boyfriend's place, I would rather owe the bank than owe you. The fact that he has stuck it to you so quickly means he will never be good for the money. The early part of a relationship is to make the other think the best of you.

If he is leading with this then it isn't going to change. Kick him out if he doesn't pay up. Tell him to go to this bank this week and open a line of credit and give you your half. And tell him that as of now, he is a fake loser until the moment he pays up.

No guy on the up and up does this.
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
(Long) Help Me Understand Her: Why?
Posted: 4/21/2013 1:31:29 AM
Brother, you are exposed as 21 year old rookie. Shut up and don't sabotage yourself next time.

You weren't kidding it was long.
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Why won't he let me go?
Posted: 4/21/2013 1:26:45 AM
Thank God you live in New York and only have 1,000,000 other men in a 30 minute radius of you. In that, maybe 10,000 compatible with you. Best odds in North America.

Move on.

This one can't have what he wants and won't ask for it.

Move on.
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 87 (view)
 
Monster Children
Posted: 4/20/2013 9:10:37 AM
I know this is an old thread, so advice for the OP is useless. I will give some anyway.

A child is born with a certain temperament and character. Their behaviour is learned. I have seen kids that are a handful, but with excellent parents, so their problems are mitigated to a large degree. I have also seen children who are monsters, and their parents have done nothing and are all out of ideas. This is the type of parent to avoid as a dating partner.

The kids are part of who they are. You can love her, and dislike the kids. This crumbles the relationship, unless it is kept as strictly casual. Our Op met the family early on, which was a blessing in the end. He was able to make an informed decision about a deal breaking issue. I think it is totally okay to break up with someone for their children's behaviour.
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/20/2013 8:50:46 AM
I agree with the others that this has nothing to do with her being a single parent. I have dated lots of single moms and it has not been a problem at all. It helps that I am a single parent and am understanding of the issues around it. Maybe I wouldn't be without the experience.

Going to her birthday party? That is a terrible idea. At best you are firmly friend zoned. At worst you will get her husband's drunken fist in your mouth or an ice pick in your neck. I don't see any benefit to you going to her house for this party.

This situation is no good. Don't use it as an excuse to slag on single moms. They are awesome. You just have to understand their commitments to their family.
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 68 (view)
 
aaaarrrrgggghhhh!
Posted: 4/13/2013 9:13:09 AM
There is a definite stigma for the separated.

My advice, date among the other separated for a while. I'm sure you can search with those parameters.

Too many girls on here have had bad experiences with the separated and you will be automatically disregarded. Maybe change your profile to single and iron it out later.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Well I just said NO to a offer of friends with benefits
Posted: 4/11/2013 6:14:24 PM
I am a little confused by the reactions to your post. Many people are stating how strong you were to pass on a FWB relationship...... How is his offer to be FWB even tempting or an opportunity? How many girls on here would be offended to get even such an offer?

The standard response to the type of offer you received is to go fvck yourself you pig.

Maybe he was charming in his approach, but the bottom line is that he was looking for sex. This is as bad as the one line message that says "want to do it?"
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
so here is my problem
Posted: 4/11/2013 6:03:57 PM
If you have so many options that you can toss this one aside, then don't message her back. But, if you like this one, what harm is there. If she isn't interested, your message isn't going to change that.

You don't know her situation and why she didn't get back to you, so don't make assumptions. I think people are too quick to throw in the towel on this site, so don't be deterred by the vagaries of internet dating.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Relationships Today
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:56:13 PM
I wouldn't have gotten upset, but a text is easy to send. I think your question should be is it fair to be upset over this rather than should I be expected to check in.

Is there other things that he over reacts about? If so, it seems that you have a bit of a high strung partner and you better get used to it. If he was simply worried about you, you should be pleased that he cares and take it as a positive quality.

To me this isn't something to worth fighting over.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
 
To co-habitate or not?
Posted: 3/3/2013 9:14:46 AM
Lathamath

Good advice. I like the idea of seeking permission from the kids, as they have to buy into the arrangement for it to work. I know one sour person can ruin it for everyone.

I am not worried about step mom in my case, she is a sweet, loving person. I know..... things could change, but no red flags there.

I got to thinking about how mornings would work in a house with 6 people and 4 teens. Need lots of bathrooms. I know I need a place do do my business while reading the paper. Maybe an outhouse? TMI maybe?
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 38 (view)
 
The Canadian penny being eliminated,pros and cons.
Posted: 3/1/2013 6:48:39 PM
Good riddance to the penny.

It only applies to cash transactions and that is where I hated them most. I usually left them in the take a penny tray beside the till. I will lose about $1 over the next year on this. I would pay $10 to never have them in my pocket.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Girl taking my number question
Posted: 3/1/2013 6:33:29 PM
You tell her that you changed phone numbers then you do what the others have advised. Then you text her to make the contact stick.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
 
What is your custody agreement like?
Posted: 3/1/2013 6:22:39 PM
Offroader (msg24)
I am curious as to how your custody went down. I didn't go to court, but in Canada, men are not automatically stripped of custody. First choice is to give joint custody if both are willing and able. I know California is a progressive place, just not sure of the case law there.

I do know that some Lawyers can make life miserable in any jurisdiction and if that is what you were up against, my sympathy. I know too many men who got their asses handed to them because they didn't lawyer up to fight.

My advice is to not give up. Keep your eye on the prize, which is that you can again be the father that they want and need. If you are willing and prove that you can do a good job, your ex cannot deny you forever.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
To co-habitate or not?
Posted: 3/1/2013 6:02:39 PM
Thanks, Sweetblue. That is just the advice I am seeking.

Were there warning signs that his son would be a problem before you moved in together, or did the behaviours ramp up once you arrived?
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
To co-habitate or not?
Posted: 3/1/2013 4:49:52 PM
A rational reason, eh?

As the OP in this thread, I have had that discussion with myself many times.

I have been living as a single parent for 8 years, doing as good of a job as I could in that time. It has been awesome at times and a miserable failure at others. I guess that is parenthood for you. The one thing that has stuck with me is that my home seems a little empty and that my kids are not getting all that they could. We are without a woman's touch and love in our everyday world, and I truly think that all of our lives would be richer if there was a mom there to round out the environment. You know, someone who would give us reason to eat at the table and to clean the bathroom way before we get around to doing it.

I am in a loving and respectful relationship with someone who shares my values and outlook in life. Without this common ground I would not even entertain such an idea as moving in together. But that, in my way of thinking is maybe 50% of the decision.

The other 50% is the family dynamic that will be waiting for us when we all move in together. The least of my concerns is my girlfriend. I am most worried about our kids getting along with their new step-siblings and parent. Not to mention how the friction between the blood relatives will affect the new relationships with the soon to be steps. Many question marks lay before me, and I was hoping that a few seasoned veterans would weigh in with their stories and advice.

As to the young lady who posted that she wouldn't move in with someone without a marriage commitment, I was of that opinion once too. Didn't work out. Had I lived with her for 6 months, I would never have married my ex. If my kids wanted to get married, I would suggest living together first to see what the other is REALLY like. Call me old fashioned.

There has been some good advice on this thread so far. Like making sure all the financial work is thought through and completed before hand is valuable.

But my favourite advice has been to make sure that my own children know that they are my primary concern and that they don't have to compete for my attention. And that all situations will require love at its core to solve, and if we lead with that, it will carry much of the load. Simple, I know, but powerful none-the-less.

I am prepared to help raise 4 kids through teenage-hood. I know that my needs are at the bottom of the list most times, and I am willing to give that of myself to make this work. I am hoping that the rewards will outweigh the cost. It is a crap shoot at best, and could blow up in my face, but I think I am aware of the situation enough to know that there is a good likely-hood of success.

I came on here to be convinced otherwise. If there is a reader who thought like me, but was sadly awakened, please share your story. I need all the information I can get before I embark on this path.

Much thanks to the posters,
Gold
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 129 (view)
 
Equal Education for ALL in the US?
Posted: 2/28/2013 4:11:25 AM
USA is the richest country in the world. Can't afford to educate citizens because of all the illegals? Poor excuse. It is misappropriated priorities. Dedicate 10% of the military budget and there would be enough money for any educational needs.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
question
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:59:03 PM
Always go in with the understanding that any guy wants sex.

Online dating is hard because it begins blind. All of the first few meetings are staged and not natural . It is easy for a person to be on their best behaviour. It takes different situations, such as the one you were in, to bring out a person`s true colours. There really is no way of knowing until you know. Chalk this one up to experience and be glad you never married him.

When we meet a person through work or other social circles, you can get a feel for their real character. You can watch from afar and develop an idea about the person more completely. This is still no guarantee that it will end better, but it takes away surprises more often.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Awkward Group Date
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:46:12 PM
This was a tough situation to win, but not impossible. And I think your girl failed this one too. I have seen lots of people enter a new group and be a comfortable part right away. Sometimes, in life, we are put in positions that make us learn and grow, and I think this was one for you. You have two choices. Vow to never do this again, or figure out how to be more successful. By reaching out to the forums, you are looking for help. Good for you.

First of all, during introductions, smile charmingly and make eye contact. Look like you are happy to be there, even if you aren`t. Awkwardness is also about body language, so don`t be tight and stiff.

Something that has helped me in those types of situations is to listen first and try to find out what makes the crowd tick. Once you clue into one of their interests, ask some probing questions to keep them talking. If they just returned from a trip, ask for more details. Make their stories connect to something you have heard or experienced before, then ask them some more. In a group of 6 people, there is always one person who loves to dominate a conversation. Just feed them now and again and they will do the heavy lifting.

Even though it may seem like they aren`t speaking to you, they are. So pay attention instead of drifting off.

Also, google for advice, there is tons out there.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 128 (view)
 
Equal Education for ALL in the US?
Posted: 2/23/2013 9:25:21 PM
I just heard an educator from Finland speak. His name is Pasi Stahlberg and he travels the world as an educational consultant. Finland has one of the highest ranked school systems in the world, and it isn't by accident. He boiled it down to a few things:

1) In Finalnd, teachers are expected to be professionals and they are paid that way. They all have masters degrees and only 10% of applicants into the educational colleges are accepted. Right there you have raised the bar. Also, university and vocational schools are paid for by the government (common across Europe)

2) First create equity in all schools, then create excellence. This means you must make allowances for poorer families. 3 course school meals for everyone, early childhood education available from age 3 or 4, doctor and dentist and counselling access through the schools

3) Special education support to anyone who needs it. If you are below grade level, you need it. If it means 90% of the school receive resource room help, so be it. This wasn't uncommon in the poorer areas of Helsinki, and wouldn't be in USA either.

4) Standardized testing decreases student achievement. How? Too much stress for students to write those exams, teachers feel they need to teach to the test, taking time away from pursuits that really grow intelligence; problem solving, critical thinking skill development and the creative arts. (Yes- the arts)

USA has some excellent schools, teachers and students. But it is not across the board. You must give a hand up to the poorer schools and students. This costs money. But not doing it will cost even more in the long run, and you may be witnessing the results of underfunding education already.

By the way, the top 5 nations for education? Finland, Singapore, Japan, South Korea, and Canada. I know the asian kids are working their asses off, but not so much in Canada. We have equity in our schools and ensure all students are grounded in the creative arts. Plus teachers are paid a decent wage.

USA must choose to improve and then pay for it. It's worth the investment
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
To co-habitate or not?
Posted: 2/23/2013 11:09:27 AM
I have been with my girlfriend for a few years and we are debating the idea of moving in together. We have two children each, all of them in their teens who get along well. We travel as combined families often and things are usually smooth.

I would like to hear about people's experiences, both good and bad, with combining two families into one household. What has made it work? Why did it fail? What are things to watch for and plan for? Have you moved into the other's home? Did you purchase a different home?

Both of our ex's are in the children's lives and get partial custody (except my oldest daughter who lives with me full time). I know my ex would love it if my son chose her place full time and would probably campaign for it. Girlfriend's kids are with her mostly and happy that way.

Any advice or experiences are welcome.

In my mind there are lots of good reasons to move in together. But what worries me most is that the kids may not get along in close quarters, and it only takes one bad relationship among the permutations of 6 people to ruin it all.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 87 (view)
 
What do you wish for your ex?
Posted: 2/14/2013 6:00:32 PM
I know it is wrong to ever have negative wishes for my children's mother, but I kind of wish that she keeps being self-centred, so that my kids will love me more...... God that sounds sad.

I Changed my mind. I wish for her to be a great mother so that my kids can grow up well adjusted. Maybe that Genie will pop out and make it true.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Cheating...forgive?
Posted: 2/14/2013 5:43:00 PM
It is not like you have years and years invested into this man and relationship. Let him go and hope he heals. If you cross paths again in a couple of years and he has remained sober ALL that time, then give him another chance.

If he can still count his recovery by days and not years, then you shouldn't waste your time.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Can anyone give me some advice?
Posted: 12/22/2012 9:59:11 AM
There are tons of girls on this site that fit your body category who are awesome people lamenting the same things you are. The hot girls on this site get so many contacts that you wouldn't even register. Dig deeper and find the ones who don't get as many messages.

Or take the advice of the above posters.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Disapearing act?
Posted: 12/22/2012 9:52:26 AM
Had he said all the right things in ending your association, you would have felt that you were losing a respectful, eloquent person. This way, you know he is not the type of person you would have wanted a relationship with. ie; coward.

So, in essence, he has helped you to get over him much quicker.

Also, this is so common on dating sites that it is best to develop a thick skin towards it and not take it personally.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
 
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 7:51:24 AM
I think you should have a conversation with some of these female friends of his. Let them know you are a couple and ask if he has been hitting them on the side. If it is platonic, you can put your worries to rest. If he is dogging them, then you get to crack his whole little scheme wide open. You just may enjoy the drama that comes with it.
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 41 (view)
 
I'm not single..Is complementing women online considered cheating??
Posted: 4/20/2012 9:21:10 PM
Dude, the internet is for kicks, and this is one of the options. I do the same thing. I have never met a girl from this site and I don't plan to. Do you talk to a person in the fresh food section of the grocery store? Consider this the same. Have fun and continue to have conversations with willing people ( not the naysayers on this post). Life is to live.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
I'm in need of some Advice !
Posted: 4/2/2012 5:17:21 PM
Hey, one chance in a million is still a chance. You better come up with something good, like some comic book connection. Start as a chat and not a come on. Maybe you can be friend zoned for a while until you break her down.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
I can't figure you out...
Posted: 4/2/2012 5:13:01 PM
You mistake our silence for deep and complex feelings. It is really a matter of us not wanting to make things worse, so we say nothing at all.

Here's a tip. Feed us, flatter us, have sex. Then let us go out with our buddies at least once a week. Forget the emotional stuff; we do.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
No sex for 8-10 weeks after surgery!
Posted: 4/2/2012 5:09:30 PM
If you saw Hall Pass, you will remember that he refused to make it with another girl. Are you testing his loyalty to you?

Honestly, I don't think it will be impossible for him to go 8 weeks with only bj's and hj's. Was he super-sexed before you met? I am thinking he has gone a lot longer than 8 weeks without a girl's touch before. And he will again.

It's not like you have turned frigid or something. You are getting your parts operated on. He should at least understand that. If he has to run off and make it with another girl because of that, then he will do it eventually anyway. No matter how hot your sex is.

My advice is, no hall pass.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Yes Or No
Posted: 4/2/2012 5:01:46 PM
My first instinct is to say no, as his excuse is probably a lie and it is simple to send a text.

However, too many people give up too easily on here. Give it another shot and chalk it up to experience if he doesn't come through again. Do you have so many possible dates that you can throw one away?
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Equal Education for ALL in the US?
Posted: 2/5/2012 8:26:36 AM
I have spent a considerable amount of time in the Canadian education system as both student and teacher. Our approach is to identify the level of each student and grow them from there. The excellent continue to excel, the medium are challenged and the weak supported with basic skills and are also challenged. This isn't easy to pull off in a class of 30 kids, but it is expected, promoted and fostered by the school boards. (at least in my experience).

There are many unmotivated students that will not get much from their education. That is their own choice. I am sure it is the same in USA. If the unmotivated population hits critical mass, then it becomes the norm and the whole school can crumble. I have seen schools like this and it isn't pretty. Whose fault? I know the teachers and principal were busting their asses for these kids, with only a few real success stories to show for it. Is this prominent in the US? Parents have a huge influence over this.


I do agree that if you refuse to pay teachers a reasonable salary, you will not get great teachers. Maybe the whole problem stems from the idea that no one in the US really wants to pay more taxes. If you don't invest in education and teachers, you get what you pay for. Canada pays their teachers decent salaries (around $80,000 for top rate). Professionals choose this occupation and treat it professionally.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 78 (view)
 
norm/or creepy
Posted: 2/5/2012 7:34:01 AM
I know of many women who google prospective dates, citing safety as their reason. Why is it different for a man? The more you know in online dating, the more successful you can be. I do not think it was out of line for this guy to find you in your other online spots. In fact, I have seen many women recommend the practice.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Should I pay for anything on this first meetup/double date tonight?
Posted: 2/4/2012 8:30:09 PM
I would grab the tab for everyone after supper, that way it isn't obvious that you are trying to bed her for buying her dinner. You can say that they can get your drinks after if you want or if she offers. It might remove the awkwardness.

Unless you really are cheap, then you should let her know up front. No sense stringing her along. Although, if she is attractive as you say, then she could easily find a guy that will treat her as such.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 111 (view)
 
POF horror story
Posted: 1/20/2012 2:39:35 PM
If this girls is really using you, why would she choose someone in residence? If she is as hot as she said, then she could try for a rich guy. It seems like she is truly in need. However, it doesn't mean that you are the one who has to help her.

Having to have a beautiful woman in your bed does not evoke much sympathy from me, but I would limit the duration. Have a conversation with her, tell her that she needs to find a place soon and that you will help her look.

Enjoy being a knight in shining armour for a while.........
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Is this suspicious? Could this be cheating?
Posted: 1/9/2012 7:15:45 PM
Funny, if I found out my girl was watching porn, I would break out the laptop and have a nice horny surf with her. Your jealousy has ruined a good sexy-time. I'm kind of hot for your girl just hearing about it. What a great time to share some fantasies and preferences.

By the way, you two should stay together. Why ruin other people with your craziness.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Thank you for a lovely night. But I didn't feel any attraction. I am sorry.
Posted: 12/21/2011 4:07:47 PM
It is not impossible, but it can be a challenge. Are you up for it?

It is important to give her some space for the next few months. Keep an eye on her, just from afar. Hide around the corner, behind trees, in the dark corner of the restaurant when she is on a date. Post on her facebook page often, maybe even try to figure out her password. Smile like crazy if she ever sees you. Once she figures out that you are following her, she will be so flattered that she will forget about the original lack of attraction.

You are almost in. . . . .
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 113 (view)
 
A Thank you after sex? Women chime in/ men: experience?
Posted: 12/21/2011 3:55:39 PM
Seriously OP? is this a Seinfeld episode? Why don't you find a real reason to run and hide from someone.

It's your life. . . . but I would choose other problems to complain about.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 41 (view)
 
is my girlfriend still cheating?
Posted: 12/21/2011 3:41:23 PM
Still cheating? It doesn't matter.

If a person screws up that bad, they must make a grand gesture to make up for it. The first action must be complete cut off from other cheater. The onus is on the cheater to demonstrate that they are sorry and have changed. The fact that she won't quit communicating with him shows a lack of consideration and remorse. How can you possibly be comfortable with this?

Every time the cell phone buzzes and you see her texting to "oh, no one" it must bring back the thought of her messing around. That alone is enough to end the relationship. Who needs it? She didn't do the proper work to repair the damage, so it still festers. I would dump her at the customary time, which is the week after new years. Don't waste a lot of money on a gift. . .

Or..... skip the gift and end it now.

 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What did I do wrong?
Posted: 12/1/2011 1:53:45 PM
He has been offended by something you did or didn't do. My guess was that you said something about him that got back to him. OR you flirted with or kissed some other boy. OR one of your mutual friends sabotaged your relationship because she secretly likes him or hates you or likes you and hates him.

There is no real reason for him to ignore you so vehemently aside from his hurt feelings. I am sure you can read some body language or talk to one of the others to find out.

OR, this may sound radical....... ask him!
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 112 (view)
 
How do you pick out the good ones?
Posted: 11/5/2011 5:37:19 PM
If you lead with your money... (flashy car, clothes, etc) maybe even brag about it, you could be in line for a gold digger. If you are subtle at the beginning, and keep money out of it, you may find someone genuine. I don't think there is a way to tell if a girl is after your cash or not. Only time. It could help if you dated only girls who are well off themselves. Hang around the law office or the hospital to seek these out.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Beat your woman... LEGALLY!
Posted: 10/16/2011 9:23:07 PM
I think it was a very smart move. They could not afford to prosecute, therefore they had to let these people go free. Now, by passing it to the county, the cases will be prosecuted.

I'm sorry. What city can afford to run a legal system as it needs to be run? It is clearly a state or provincial responsibility. I shake my head when people make demands of their government, yet bellyache when the taxes to pay for it need to be collected.

Many domestic violence incidents clog the legal system. A large percentage of the people involved are repeat visitors to the process. Charges or not, the people refuse to make the changes that may help themselves. When someone returns to their abuser, how should the state proceed? Go through the whole court rig-a-morale just to see the combatants ignore the resolution? I don't begin to say what the solution is, but the present system is quite ineffective and expensive.
 hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Should I take a hint and move on?
Posted: 10/5/2011 10:06:52 PM
I like that you are able to learn from your first marriage. Many people go on to repeat the same mistakes time after time. You have honed some instincts and now it is time to listen to them. It doesn't take a genius to see some red flags here. We all want someone who is glad to be with us, and this girl, for whatever reason doesn't seem to be able to get there.

What I worked on after my marriage ended, was not falling blindly in love with the next girl I dated. I had the habit of overlooking flaws in my past relationships and staying with people that just weren't right for me. I am a little more skeptical now, but a whole lot wiser. You need to be as well. Listen to your little voices and do what is right for you.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 131 (view)
 
Prenups
Posted: 10/5/2011 5:28:32 PM

If I married someone that had a business before I married them, and it didn't work out, I wouldn't expect to get part of that business. If they did not trust me enough to believe that, then I think they would need to find someone else.


Talk is cheap. If you really felt that way, put it in writing. Too many people change their tune when things go south. You should be the one to offer the prenup to show that you wouldn't ever make a claim to his stuff and are only marrying for love.
 
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